Anxiety To Triumph To Heartbreak : My Initiatory
Erotica, First-Time, MasturbationChapter One
My figure is Jason. I 'm a 22 year old senior at a state university located way up in the batch. My newcomer year I joined a fraternity because I was an exceptional drinker. I was far from a distinctive fraternity boy, but the theme of having a marrow group of Quaker to company with was very appealing to an 18 year old me. My social life-time was fairly secure during my firstly three years of college. I had a lot of Quaker and was well known around campus.
My older twelvemonth I was elected President of my fraternity. I ran on the program of governing through maturity. There were a lot of detrimental things that my frat got into and I wanted to curtail that. I wanted my frat to be to a greater extent biotic community oriented and less degenerate oriented. Some people liked my approach, some people saw me as a stick in the mud. I did not care. It was the vision I had since I saw the degradation my first-year year. Becoming such a polarize figure in the Greek community garnered me a lot of newfound pursuit from some of the sorority missy. For three eld sorority girlfriend were a cohort that I greatly failed to understand. They 're all around want of shame perplexed me and I often found them to be much too forward for me.
Since I can remember interacting with girls was a painful experience. I never had a girlfriend in high school. I was just getting to the percentage point where I could casually socialise with them toward the end of my high-pitched school career. My difficulties with the opposite sex continued when I got to college. I thought for sure joining a fraternity would be the magic fix to my women problems, but that fix never came.
fresher year came and went and I had no actual prospects. When I was sober I was refining my social accomplishment with char, when I was wasted, I was making a fool of myself. By soph year my social skills were well refined and I was make to finally break through. That never happened. When I would ascertain my friends seal the deal I would engage mental note of hand. Some of the thing they would say though ... never in a million eld would I have the self-confidence to emulate. So I remained dead because I did n't have a shred of game.
By junior year I had lost a fair amount of weight and developed some close friendships with a few girls that dated acquaintance of mine. I think they saw through me and knew I needed helper. Through them I gained confidence that I could converse in a intimate manner with women ... even if they saw it as sottish banter. But for me it was invaluable exercise. By the end of my junior year I had managed to secure a few dates.
They were n't with the honorable looking girls but I thought that would wreak to my advantage. I was hoping for a girl with lower self esteem than I had. Turns out that missy that were more shy and awkward than me did n't present many opportunities for me to `` John Cash the v card '' as my fraternity boy friends would say. That 's right ... I was still a Virgin by 20 yr old. By the end of junior year I had my first kiss. It sucked and I found the girl to be obscene albeit not bad looking. mendicant can be chooser I guess.
Everything changed my senior year. I came back to school only slightly overweight whereas I was very adiposis my first off few years of college. I got two tattoos over summer breaking and drastically improved my wardrobe. I just moved into our new fraternity home about a one-fourth mile from campus. As chair I had the low gear option of elbow room so I got the liberal with a balcony. Things were looking up for me. This had to be it. I always thought `` no way I could go to college a virgin. '' Now my mindset is `` no way can I leave college a Virgo. '' I was determined this was n't going to happen.
relocation in day came and went. Lots of hard drink, tons of drugs, pile of slutty girls walking around my menage. The next morning I was outside chipping golf game orb in the front end yard when I saw a very shortsighted, very tan daughter coming down the out of doors stairs.
`` Hi Sydney '' I hollered. I recognized her as a Beta girl. She is quite attractive but it was well known that she made her way through our membership with congeneric ease.
`` holy shit, Jason, you look ... well, you look quite different. '' I could evidence she was n't about to jump my off-white but her stare lingered longer than I am accustomed.
`` Thanks, You look gorgeous as always '' I retorted, trying out my newfound confidence.
`` I do n't experience very gorgeous, I was so fucked up last night and I literally just rolled off of Paul 's hammer. '' I cringed. How could this incredibly cute and innocent looking girlfriend be so unblushing ? I could n't guess of anything to say to that so I put my head down and went back to chipping balls.
Sydney broke the muteness `` I do n't have anywhere I need to be, I just kinda envision Saul did n't want me to mess about. Wan na give ear out ? ``
`` Sure '' I said, not entirely surely what that entailed. `` We can hang in the rec way or take the air downtown and get breakfast. ``
`` Fuck that '' she said. `` I 'm beat, let 's go hang out in your room. '' At this point I had a unplayful case of butterflies. I 've had girls in my room plenty of times but they were almost always accompanied by their young man. Leading the way, we walked back up the stairs and down the G. Stanley Hall to my room. I immediately put on music and packed a bowl in an attempt to diffuse my sociable clumsiness. Sydney, at this point, has her horseshoe off and was sitting on my bed.
'' Hey Jason, it 's too early to take heed to music. Let 's look on a pic. I just wan na relax. '' I took a long pull off the roll and passed it to her. As she took her own sizable drag I cued up one of the American language Pie movies.
I took a seat in a death chair opposite the bed, careful to give Sydney her space. She gave me a offbeat look then motioned to the bed. She pulled her sweatshirt off and threw open the mantle. September mornings in the wad can acquire an unseasonable chill, so I was n't surprise when I noticed the rock tough protrusion from her tenuous t-shirt. Either she did n't notice my gaze or could wish less. At this point in time I was in uncharted territory. I never had a girl in my bed let alone a girl that had a preclusion to slumber with any guy that gave her the attention she so desperately desired.
I awkwardly climbed into the bed staying on top of the blankets on the very edge of the queen mole rat bed. Sydney was under the mantle enjoying the movie as well as the premium kush. I could n't concentrate on the motion picture. I wanted to move closer and get under the blankets but I was so rigidify of the potential solvent. So I did what I always do, I played the perfective gentleman and when the movie was over I handed Sydney her sweatshirt and escorted her out. She gave me a hug and thanked me for a nice break of day and was on her way.
For the following respective hr I analyzed the encounter over and over and over. I was upset at myself for not making a move, but at the same prison term I was convincing myself that this was a strictly Platonic encounter. Nevertheless I could n't help but feel relieved. If by chance I did stumble my way into Sydney 's drawers I know my mysterious would be exposed. Noone knows I 'm a virgin. I have always lied to my friends. Either they believed me and just simulate I do n't get laid a lot, or they just go along with it ... I do n't have the answer to that. Had I had sex with Sydney she surely would consume been able to tell I was a virgin and share that fact with her friend. By the end of the day all of the Hellenic community of interests would let been privy to my secret. Anyway, better things were on the horizon.
About 4:00 I heard tatty music coming from the driveway. I headed out to investigate the root of the disturbance. When I got remote I saw two of my roommate Nick and Ryan throwing the football the distance of the driveway. I decided a little recreation would be a respectable tension relief so I joined them. After about half an time of day Nick 's speech sound started ringing. He answered and held a abbreviated conversation. After he tucked away his cell earphone he took the bollock and fired a laser right hand at me.
`` Let 's end on a unspoilt billet, Shannon and Allie are on their way over. They want to string up out ''
`` Ok '' I said. Having lived in a fraternity house for two years now I was used to multiple solidification of girls spending time at our planetary house daily. Claude Shannon and Allie are Sigma girls that I 'm not very familiar with. I know they are a class below me but that 's about it. I went inside to freshen up a bit and grab a 12 face pack of beer. By the time I got back outside Ryan had taken off for the night and Nick was greeting the two little girl. I knew Claude Elwood Shannon, she was loudly and a tad obnoxious ... distinctive sorority lady friend. She sported a nice tan, with long blackness whisker. She was absolutely beautiful but truth be told, she was a bitch. I quickly turned my attending to her friend. I recognized her. I vaguely remember her from endure year 's bounce evening gown. She went with a Friend of mine. She was n't a 10, she was n't a sess show, she was n't a bombshell, but she was the most beautiful missy I 've ever laid my eyes on. She flashed me a soporific smile.
`` Hey, I 'm Allie. '' I was speechless. After that perfect smile all but melted me I gathered myself to take in her visual aspect in majuscule item. She is n't the sorority type by any means. She wore fast gym shorts and a sloppy t-shirt. She is about 5'6. Not tight fitting but far from overweight. She had long sheeny brown hair that went half way down her spine. While she wore no make-up her face was flawless with a come near perfective tense complexion. Her skin was a beautiful nicety of ointment. Not blanch but far from tan. The gym shorts she was wearing strained by an ass that was null short of perfection. It was firm and round and did n't show a suggestion of sag. This girl was blessed. The t-shirt offered no indication of what may be beneath it until a strong wind blew her shirt, good across her breast. She had small bosom, probably an A cup. But they stood at care like the rest of her perfectly portioned body.
I extended my hired man to shake hers.
`` Hi, I 'm Jason. '' I did n't stammer, I did n't stutter. Even I could separate that my tint exuded sureness. Allie grasped my hand. I made sure my grasp was firm but not too firm. I wanted to give the impression that I 'm strong but know when to conduct my persuasiveness. I could severalise it worked as Allie 's creamy skin colour flushed deeply red.
Allie 's eyes fell to my Obama-Biden 2012 shirt and I could see her heart light up.
`` I have to admit it 's nice to meet a progressive guy on this campus. '' She nervously stammered awaiting my reaction. I knew this was my in and I could n't ware this chance. `` He 's a cupboard liberal '' gouge interjected as he slapped my ass on the way by. He and Claude Elwood Shannon announced that they were heading up to his elbow room for `` a minute. '' Allie and I looked at each former smiling knowing they would be more than a minute.
`` Enjoy ... Jason and I will be out here discussing the socialist takeover of United States '' Allie chirped. I almost spewed out my beer at this overt practice session of satire. mightily then and there I knew this missy was my vis-a-vis. We made our may over to the picnic board where I took a seat. She did not sit across from me but rather directly adjacent to me. She was so stopping point our legs were almost touching.
`` How bout a beer ? '' I said hoping to not be the only one drinking.
`` How bout two '' Allie replied much to my delight. I fished into the cardboard box and grabbed her two beers. Without hesitating Allie cracked open a can and chugged it in two gulps.
`` sanctum horseshit '' I said, thoroughly impressed.
`` I 'm just showing off, I do n't actually wassail like that '' Allie replied, cracking another beer. I chugged my beer and cracked another beer. At this point I was very curious to see where this conversation would take us. This fille is unbelievably cool and unbelievably hot. By now my survival instincts are kicking in and they are begging the question ... what 's the pinch ?
We both nursed our irregular beers, not wanting to impede conversation. Conversation with Allie was easy. It was n't forced. It had a fluidity and a purpose that so many of my conversations with the opposition sex lacked.
She first wanted to have a go at it my political beliefs and I was happy to ploughshare them with her. It turns out that we were n't quite as aligned as I thought. Me being a moderate democrat and her being a very large-minded liberal. This led to several minutes of spirited debate and a little playful give-and-take. Politics aside, the inquiry turned to a more personal nature. Turns out we are from townspeople only about 45 minutes apart. We talked about gamy school experiences, our friends, our mutual love of sports and animals. We talked about our kinsfolk, our life finish and finally we moved to our expectant commons ; Greek life.
Allie, I learned, was a junior that lived in an off campus apartment by herself with her cat. She transferred finis year from a common soldier school that she hated.
`` To be honest, I joined a sorority because I did n't ingest many friends at my last schooling and I thought this was my best shot at the normal college experience. '' All the while I 'm thinking to myself `` how the sin could this girl not make friends. '' As if she was reading my mind she continued `` I do n't exactly sustain a lot of trust in myself. I do n't consider I 'm very sympathetic. I do n't wish the girly girl hooey and I do n't think I 'm very pretty. '' She finished abruptly as if a weight was lifted off her berm revealing this to me. She took another gulp of beer and looked to me for my reaction to her divine revelation. It was my tour to flush red.
`` I think you are serious looking '' is all I could rally. Telling a slut like Sydney she was hot was well-to-do but telling Allie she was pretty was so unmanageable for me. My fear of rejection was showing itself. Allie did n't say anything, instead she took one to a greater extent generous swig of beer and laid her head on my shoulder. No words were needed. She was so close now that our ramification were touching. My bare leg was resting against her smooth finespun skin. This was the closest contact I have ever had with a miss and my biologic functions were not letting me block it. I could feel my erection growing in my gym short. This presented a very uneasy possibility. Fortunately Nick and Claude Elwood Shannon came barreling down the stairs and jolted Allie 's head straight up.
`` What 's up lovemaking wench '' Nick hollered as Claude E. Shannon smacked his arm.
`` Grow up nick '' Allie snapped as she quickly rose from the picnic table. She glanced at her phone presumably to jibe the fourth dimension. As Shannon and nick walked to the car, Allie bent down to where I 'm sitting and rested her hand on mine. `` It was a pleasure to get to make out you Jason, I 'll see you around. '' And with that she was off. I watched her walk the short distance to the car in complete disbelief. Those were the most stimulating hours I 've ever spent with a char.
Resigned to the fact that she was gone, I gathered my beers and headed for my room. With the slightest buzz going on I stripped down to my boxers and got in bed. I pulled out my laptop computer and went to my favourite porn site. Thinking about Allie I slipped my manpower in my pants and started playing with myself. I was determined to make this a marathon tug session. I scoured the smut star pages until I settled on one that closest resembled the novel object of my affection. Riley Reid. She had the same long brown hair, the same fat ass, the Lapp diminutive tits and very similar facial nerve features. She did n't salute as sexy as Riley but I thought she was thoroughgoing. I watched a video of James Whitcomb Riley masturbating with just her fingerbreadth. I did n't want to think about Allie having sex, I just wanted to fantasize about the pureness of her body. Thinking about her the full time I was stroking my prick, I came very quickly. fountainhead after I finished masturbating, I found myself dwelling on the few hours we spent together. It wasn't lust or intimate. I wanted to know her in every way. I desperately wanted to see her again. Turns out I would n't deliver to wait long .