sea captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm captain Norman Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from blinking Yorkshire and I do n't hold a sodomite what you bloody think because I bloody mouth as I bloody encounter.

We had a bloody bad trip back from America on steamer and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me brass were safe and went to see fucking agentive role first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a bawd boudoir with trappings to meet. agent were a unworthy prick with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood fucking desk about the size of a blinking cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"good day captain, I am delighted to take on you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me memorial tablet,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bally mind,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the establishment,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you signify organisation,"his helper chipped in. She was like a short haired gorilla in a black garb with a gob like a English bulldog chewing a wasp.

"brass instrument, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky sodomist ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of fuzz and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever kick eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How lots were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round banking company and paid it in nimble. Daft bastard on counter near fainted at sizing of bank check but I drew out a fair few quid and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody days voyage took, blooming steamship broke down on the way but at survive I had some brass in bank and could come home instead of scratting bout down Dixie USA way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour passkey what were a mate of mine, we had a New World chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave grocery store, I fancies a nice plump fresh brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have striver in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad nob got fed up wi novelty an let near of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell on earth do I find a skillful plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be all-fired favorable to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to get hitched with a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore house or conjoin a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at fag Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner menu outside. and it were just after midday so I thought I would have a bite to eat. Now I ent thick-skulled or nowt but I couldn't make head or tail o menu so I thought I woud ask server. Turns out they has dinner at tea fourth dimension and noon sentence was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

managing director derive up to me and asked me business sector,"Looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got faulty end of stick and suggested a couple of whore houses.

"Nay I want a charwoman for keeps see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an asset see, not continue forking out for bawd till I gets bloody clap and me cock rots off."

"You can't continue slaves anymore, but there's a fissure circle Inkerman Street does a smashing range of chastity bash,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that nobleman wi his book binding to us over there's got more daughter than you can shake a stick at, why not lay down him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old old codger talking to his spouse over a sliver of angle and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a bloody Christian church mouse.

"That's William Christopher Handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a duo of daughter to unlade like ?"I says square out.

"And who the inferno are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to present me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's damn decorum,"I says,"I ent no house painter I'm bloody police chief bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody organisation you want I'll pay top dollar bill, long as she's virgin, two legs, two arms, couple of bloody tits, own tooth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can execute in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George III,"one of his mates, a simpering prat dressed like a right procurer says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George III, think, he'll pay,"this cranny said,"Instead of a demanding a portion he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and fill my girl ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His blank space needed a slug of pigment and the Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, gentleman, to the servants quarters,"bloody sarky butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the chap explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and speaks me blooming psyche. Know thee's bloody office or thee'll feel me bloody belt crisscross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your forgiveness,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an ugly bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to poke thee."

"This is my wife master,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No crime like,"I says as she belts me flesh out the chops, we her dainty hired man and half in long finger nails."Feisty spell ent she ?"

"police chief Beckinthwaite wishing to court one of our daughter dearest,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was Godhead McGonnegal, Almighty Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all supporter here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his facial expression went a deathly white,"senior pilot Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"tempest, Tempest, bloody feed piss heart bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"gentlewoman Mc insisted.

"I had a blooming gut full on't it, bloody Shipping lark."I said,"boldness is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, high up bloody time to bloody descend down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"madam Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't brain bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her the like thee and he does soon as bloody Lordship'back 's turned."

butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit fucking nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into living-room."daughter,"she says,"Come and adjoin skipper er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first girl were knockout, blond fuzz on her shoulder joint, downhearted center, square rigged dress showcasing her titty, out of my conference, probably been rogered by half the handmaiden, any road her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second eldest,"madam Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody rich and in need of a bloody shag,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me blinking mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely abhorrent,"she explained.

Another vision of loveliness followed into the room,"capital of Seychelles,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a all-fired hangover. Wi her short hair and scowling fount if it had n't been for her breast you 'd receive thought she were a crashing bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a bloody bloke or a bloody bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin male child, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an albatross nest in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit thin out on bloody flat coat,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such topic,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody ready, in force probability her were a fucking Virgo, if I blew crashing candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody face looked like.

"fountainhead I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me damn end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a crashing Virgo the Virgin I ‘ ll fucking thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"Captain !"Lord Mc protested.

"Five hundred,"I offered,"greaseball, to take her off thi bloody script and put a ring on her bloody finger, take it or leave it."

"We really need the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this fiend for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a blooming married woman jeune fille, not just a bloody sporting lady to shag, someone to look after me bloody house, cook, clean look after bloody Kyd, that sorting o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of dearest or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody tenderness, I just wants a bally shag, you wo n't do better than that and I shan't bloody offer a bloody gain."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty part ent her ?"I queried,"I got the hard cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were bloody messing."

overlord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a air pocket full of gold.

"Take a glass of vino master,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a moment,"God Almighty Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bally pint."I said. He gave me about enough to overwhelm a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"halt it, lay off it mother I would rather die than marry that awing man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair bloody price, what's untimely wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the phone up the stair me hobnail boots clattering on sweet down oak floor, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maids and the housekeeper. poor people Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across brass with a dead Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corset and knee duration stockings, no knickers or nothing but showing her privates and squeamish creamy thigh.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her legs wide,"Take a look Captain,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody bullies, sodomist off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But sea captain,"Lady Mc replied but the spark of visible light off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody tune,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to hit me master ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the doorway shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd kill your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't eat away young girl, I never had to force a bally chick to fuck me in me flaming life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thighs and then I started to part her cunt back talk with me fingers. It weren't the first time. Her cunt was well used.

"smell like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a flaming bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody sister doing a fourth dimension or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big plagiariser belt and let me trews downslope,"Army of the Pure call it our lilliputian bloody hush-hush shall us ?

"Look headwaiter,"she protested but me fingerbreadth were no bloody unknown to a wench's cunt and wi me thumb on her minuscule nub her breast were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing with child

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't await me to block off now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But senior pilot,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her teat and on down to her heap. She variety of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her second joint public treasury I got me clapper in the rut between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bally never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee fucking carry me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were like saucers, she said nowt but grasped me boss and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody pussy like an anchorman up a hawse pipe.It were blooming heaven. Right in till me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell size bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being crashing have it away ent so fucking bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody roll in the hay. Once I shot me bloody warhead in thee its for crashing biography like, if thee can't tum it say now and I'll shoot me bloody load over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly headwaiter, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not cumber yourself and I believe you have a kind pith under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dose of hot mettle up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me lump was bloody crinkling and me prick was flaming throbbing and suddenly it were too latterly for blinking pullin'out and she was well fucked with me succus pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next prison term perhaps you will bath first so it is less like being ravished by a gaga boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody cock hard I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may soak up my mammilla if it helps to rouse you."And with that she pulled her tits right out of her stays and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to finger your manly dresser against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody inverse,"and I pulled my shirt and robe off and held her close. Our mouths met, our natural language entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was blooming fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hr or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're accordant like ?"

"Absolutely old fella, congratulations,"Lord Mc chortled,"Let us have the meshing announced in Lancashire evening post.

"sod that I'm a bloody sea captain, '' I explained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do bloody wedlock, no bloody pauperization to waste crashing memorial tablet on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a fourth dimension or two her started smiling at me and her facial expression quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the lights behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what matters and she's crashing title-holder and no mistake, even if she do come from flaming Lancashire .