Welcome back to my diary. thank you all for the feedback and the content. Since quite some mass seem to stumble over the German moniker Matze, I will change it to Mat for the repose of the history. And now without further ado back to the summer of 2020.



Mat stayed overnight. I loved it and I remember that I did n't desire to fall asleep, wanting to savour every mo of the time we had together. We talked far into the Nox. Not about what would happen with our now changed ( and messed ) relationship but about our past. We had talked about some of these thing before on our afternoons and evenings together but it was unlike now after we made love.

I told him about all the times I have had a crush on someone during my youth and had been too inhibited to talk to them. How I later repelled all sexual advances from men who were interested in me as a woman. I talked with him about how difficult it had been for me to fare to condition with my body and how I had always felt inferior when I compared myself with former women. He wanted to try cipher about it and told me that I was beautiful the way I am. Apart from that he said that, for him, my personality was the most pretty and treasured quality he loved about me. Now, while I am writing this down, that might sound like a cheesy matter to say but it also feels incredibly expert to make the person you love tell you this while you are in his weapons system.

He was very open with me and told me in detail about the sexual experiences he was having in the yesteryear. How he had felt during his first time ( right after he had gotten his motorcycle driving licence ) and then the twelve other flings and relationships he had. I was rather surprised that he had slept with that many women before. He did n't spill about Nadine. There was a dumb agreement between us to not bring her up at that evening.

What really put me off and led to a very awkward give-and-take was when he told me about the last fourth dimension he had sex with another woman, which had been with a cocotte in 2018 while he was on a line tripper to Dresden. That really shocked me multi-plane. Funny enough the first affair that came to my intellect ( but I said zero about ) was that this meant he had been treasonous towards Nadine while they were married. I mean, seriously ? That is the initiative matter ? After we just had cheated on her in almost the same manner ?

Anyway what I am trying to say here and what I told Mat as well is that it is completely beyond me why he would do such a thing. For me, I could never imagine having sex in real liveliness with a individual I know cypher about, just for the carnal expiation. He could not really explicate to me why he had done it. What sticks in my intellect from our heated discourse is that he had always regretted to never having tried paid sex. During his time in the ground forces many of his associate had boasted about how thrilling it is to `` buy '' a woman, but back then he had been too restrained and never joined them during their excursions.

If you did n't screw, prostitution is sadly legalized in Federal Republic of Germany. I find the notion of it abhorrent. Many multitude working in the red light districts and brothels across the body politic are victims of human being trafficking from Eastern Europe or Africa. Even if that is not the case most are not in this business by choice but rather out of desperation. Why a otherwise civilized country like Germany keeps allowing this remains a mystery to me.

In the end we agreed that this had been stupid person, but I have the opinion to this day of the month he just wanted to stop quarreling with me. While I am writing this down, I realize how strange it is that I let something like this slide until today. If any other guy had told me this I would never have wanted him in my animation. Maybe making love is if we can forgive unforgivable fault ? At the time I remember that I mostly felt vex because it seemed so out of grapheme for him. But I also felt elated that he confided such a dark secret to me.

The next morning I woke up first. I got up, activated my coffee car and started making ballock. bollock and tomatoes is something even a horrible cook such as myself ca n't substantially get it on up. Mat joined me in the kitchen, hugged me from behind and kissed my neck opening. We sat down at my tiny wooden table as I served the breakfast and then he finally said the watchword which I did n't have got the braveness to speak. How would we proceed from here.

He began talking. The sum was that he did not regret anything that had happened between us the other dark, but despite that he loved Nadine.

I knew that. From the get-go of it I had known that I could only slip some small fraction of his affection. someone like me could never replace someone like Nadine. I truthfully told him that I would never wait him or wanted him to leave behind his wife for me. I cried and said that we would have to tell her what happened. We at to the lowest degree owed her that.

He argued calmly against it. Stating that this would be a destructive thing to do. We should rather keep this between us and dish out with our emotions ourselves.

What we both agreed upon was that we wanted to stay booster, that this should not destroy the relationship we had built over the yr and especially over the preceding calendar week and months. He was worried that bringing Nadine into this could queer this intention.

Mat can often times be very convincing but on this aurora I was not persuaded. Trust in any human relationship is an priceless currentness. His resolution might have been initially the least hurtful for the three of us but it would n't receive been properly. I had betrayed my best protagonist trust the night before. This was probably the most selfish affair I have done in my animation to date. The to the lowest degree I could do now was to commit her the option to settle how to deal with her feelings about what happened. I am also absolutely convince that such a secret can never be kept obscure. Nadine would subconsciously have known that something had changed and it would just be cruel to keep her in the dark.

When he accepted that I would not be keeping tranquillise about our matter he asked me to allow him to speak to his wife first. I agreed to that, feeling relieved that he would take this upon himself. As resolved as I had been about it then, I had failed miserably at talking with Nadine about my look and desires the last time, just earlier that week.

I want to tell you now that we left it like that and carried on with our programme like the sane adult we are. well ...

After our discussion we hugged, I cried a little more and then I decided I would palpate much better after a well hot shower bath. When I had turned on the water I saw the threshold opening through the glass control panel and Mat stepped inside. He asked me if I would allow him to fall in me. To be fair I wanted nothing more than to have him with me for just a trivial while longer. This must be a psychological thing. I mean, just a couple of minutes ago I have been going on about how of import it is to do the flop thing and not to fail the trust of anyone and here I am doing it again.

He stripped nude quickly after I smilingly invited him in. Our wet bodies mingled together and I enjoyed his osculation and touches all over my body. I felt his hardening cock pressing against my back as his left deal caressed my small white meat and his right wing bridge player wandered deeper between my stage. I turned my head slightly to the right and we soul kissed each other with closed eyes under the stream of hot pee.

He then knelt down and started licking my clit and my pussy again like he had done the previous eventide. I tilted my left leg a slight to apply him better access even though being a piddling afraid of slipping on the wet exhibitor floor. As I marveled his handwork down there in the bright light I felt the acute desire to come back this favor and explore him with my mouth as well.

first base he insisted on cleansing himself which meant that he was coating me all over with liquid state goop while I did the same for him. It felt incredibly titillating as our increasingly sleazy soundbox rubbed together. Then I kneeled down and carefully cleaned the thinning foam off his fellow member and clod with lenient pinch. I took my prison term to observe everything before me and gently traced the big vein on the left side of meat of his penis back to his trimmed pubic surface area. Thereafter I kissed the tip of his shaft and worked my probing spit all the way down to the base were it met his orchis.

My pump was beating faster now as I blinked some water out of my eyes and put my sass clumsily around his cock. I started bobbing my school principal up and down before he stopped me and showed me how he liked it better. Mat obviously loves it when I swirl my clapper around the abject side of his cock, where his frenulum connects to his foreskin. He also likes it when I open up wide and put him as far down in my mouth and pharynx as I can manage. But I am ahead of myself. This was my first blowjob after all and I am pretty certain that my skill in this region were rivaled only by my preparation skills at that point in time.

While showering together is a very sexy thing to do, fucking is quite an awkward occasion, at to the lowest degree in my lowly carrel. It 's slippery and cramped and I never know where to bend and turn. In the final exam stages Mat had my belittled eubstance in the air and pressed my dorsum against the tiled wall. I had my legs crossed behind his stern, weapon system behind his neck while caressing his hair's-breadth and willing him to plunge deeper into me with each thrust until he came heavy inside me.

When we returned to my aliveness room and got dressed Mat spotted a voice substance from Nadine. It felt like we had been caught red handed. He also seemed to be embarrassed and told me after listening to her message, that she would leave Aachen on Lord's Day morning and would be back some time between good afternoon and even.

Technically that would pass us a full additional day together, a belittled circuitous vocalisation in the back of my head kept whispering, but after her cry, the spell between us died away quickly. When he left my apartment shortly afterwards, we hugged quickly like the booster we had always been. He assured me to text or call me, as soon as he had spoken with Nadine tomorrow evening.

My emotions after he left are best described as complacent. I knew of track that, total tomorrow, my springy and the lives of my friend would be changed for improve or defective. Looking back I am not above admitting that a small part of me might have wished for this confession to demolish my friends human relationship. So that I could experience Mat all for myself.

other people often described me as exclamatory and kind, quick to make people smile. On that Saturday afternoon I 'd rather say that I have become the villainesse in the taradiddle of my live .