ITommy Ainsgarth gets buggered on t'engine

It were a dark November Night in Yorkshire. Nineteen Thirty something. It weren't raining for once. Nor freezing neither. Nor fog. brightness level of Grisegarth sign box on t'capital of the United Kingdom and North Eastern Railway could be seen for miles.

Passenger train issue forth past times, headed for Grimsby, engine were off overreach a bit. It were an old ‘ un built be Beyers at Manchester for Lincolnshire and Yorkshire Railway. Four big driving wheels as big as a man and four little 'uns out front line. Over thirty year old, misplace clip but nowt they couldn't mek up wi a bit o'speeding a bit over Ellerbeck viaduct and adjunction beyond.

Next along were Immingham goods. On footplate were young Tommy Aisgarth. He were real excited, officially like as he were locomotive cleaner, but he's done exams for fireman and it were his first metre out firing engine on longsighted trip, He had been on shunting engines many times after having reached eighteen the age for working on engine footplate, but this were real thing.

Ted Moresely were driving, fat ugly pot bellied fellow, near as fat as he were tall, too bloody fat to get under engine to oil round proper like.

He were pissed off, he usually drove a big B5 class loco, built by George Sugar Ray Robinson in 1922 but today he had a near new J39, a smaller cheaper locomotive built be Herbert Gresley what weren't really up to job so they shortened gearing to 40 Plough, 600 tons.

It were maximum lode for J39 and Tommy had to work like a trojan, shovelling coal trying to keep up steam. He were sweating buckets, he stripped off his crownwork and then his shirt as he shovelled coal inexpertly into the ravenous firebox of the loco. Ted kept the regulator half unfastened and the valves in wide gear mechanism to seduce Tommy fret. He could bear saved half the coal if he'd pulled up up and opened regulator but he were a sadistic sod.

The banged and crashed up through Grisegarth and past Moresby top to summit box, all signals off and only two minutes down with water bobbing in the stern nut of bore glassful, Ted shut governor and shouted for Tommy to put be steam injector on to fill boiler.

engine began to pick up speed, Tommy went to put tea can on firing plate for a brew.

"quite a little of time for that lad,"Ted says,"Time for a bit of fun."

"Fun Ted ?"Tommy asked.

"Fun, get thee pants down I wan't to sodomize thee,"Ted laughed.

"Bloody hell, sodomite me, I mean not bugger me but don't bugger me like."Tommy blustered.

"look lad, on footplate number one wood's in burster and I'm Driver reet ?"Ted explained,"And I fancies ramming me cock up thee's ass, not that I ent queer nor null, just that wanking meks thee blind and I'd rather spend Cash on beer than on't ‘ ores.

"I dunno Ted,"Tommy says,"I ent ad a wench let alone be buggered."

"You refusing an purchase order from thee driver ?"Ted asks,"Sacking offense is that."

"Now hang on !"Tommy proested,"Buggery's crashing illegal !"

"I'll tell they as thee let piddle down and never looked out for signal, told I to get stuffed and made I shovel coal as thee were too knackered to do on't."Ted warned.

"Thee's a filthy sodomite,"says Tommy as caravan picked up speed down bank,"But I ‘ ant no choice ‘ as I."

well loco were blowing off steam and water were coming up in glass so Tommy opened fire door to cool down.

"ejaculate on don't bugger about, '' Ted insisted

Reluctantly Tommy undid his belt and slipped his pants down.

Ted smirked"Brace thee self agin the backplate,"he chuckled.

"It's bloody red hot !"Tommy protested.

"bugger, bloody Gresley, bloody GC engines has them lagged,"Ted cursed,"Hang on to bloody water scoop instead.

Tommy stood wi his breeks around his ankles gripping on to weewee scoop cycle while Ted eased hs braces off of his sholders and dropped his coveralls to disclose a light fat ugly cock barely poking out as far as his fat gut.

Ted wobbled as he aimed hs tool at Tommy's ass but missed half a dozen times when suddely wallop.

Teds cock pressed an inch into Tommy's tight ass hollow as the engine stopped pretty near dead.

There was a direful crashing of busted woods and metallic element engine reared up at back end and Ted and Tommy was flung against the boiler.

Tommy was stunned, he thought it was the shock of his ass kettle of fish busting but then Ted was screaming and there was coal off the ship's boat and busted wood all around. Tommy were stunned but he dragged his gasp back up and staggered around trying to make sense of it.

There were discontinue morsel of pusher all round.

"sodomite me Ted we hit summat !"Tommy says.

"Agghhhhhh !"Ted screamed. Tommy couldn't see Ted.

"What's going off ?"Tommy asked.

"Agghhhhhhh !"Ted screamed again.

Tommy reached for the fervour room access lever to afford ‘ em up so as he could see. The lever was jammed but ith the open stead. He coldn't understand it so he grabbed the water gauge lamp.

"Arrrgghhhh !"screamed Ted.

Tommy shone the spark. There were Ted wi his ass speared by the thickening on the firebox doorway lever tumbler and all the peel burned off of his bum. Tommy felt sick and wanted to laugh at the Lapp time.

"I go to signalize box for formula 55 !"he offered and he jumped down off of locomotive and headed for box.

Turned out express engne had rolled bad on Muncaster Viaduct and derailed tender, Vacuum bracken had stopped it and commodity had run through five signaling before hitting express up the ass.

Ted were probably dead afore anyone bohered wi him. His ass were burned right away to the ivory and he ease of him roasted though his boots were O.K. and his cap and air hole watch.

"By eck tha's a golden chap,"said signalman as Tommy walked up step to box.

"How d'yuo mean ?"Tommy asked.

"Walking away from tha'clang,"he replied.

"Aye, hardly a scratch,"Tommy agreed.

"And thee driver ?"signalman asked.

"He was screaming a bit but he shut up now, antecedency is rule 55 ent it,"Tommy replied.

"Tha'll mek a exquisitely railroad man, have a brew and go back and if he's dead nick his vigil before some early bugger does."

"Tha's a cauterize bugger,"Tommy replied.

"Not if driver were one Ted Moresely,"Signalman explained,"illegitimate said I put sign back agin him when he ran right through em, too meddling buggering his fireman, has he buggered you an all ?"

Tommy said nowt.

"No bugger liked him, tight fisted fat slothful prick,"Signalman moaned.

"Can I use your bog ?"Tommy asked.

"No thee bloody can't,"Signalman said but it were too lately Tommy had door open.

Poor Tommy never seen a lad porter in a unvarying jacket and nowt else except for stockings and gallus afore. So he fainted.

He was in waiting way at the station when he woke up. stationmaster were shaking him,"Eh no slacking."

"I just had a bang,"Tommy explained.

"What, wi Doris from refreshment room ?"Inspector asked.

"Nay we run into ass of Passenger."Tommy says.

"well go and relieve passenger fireman, he banged his pass, they're going on wi one-half train."he explained.

Tommy climbed onto rider engine, Sid John Hancock were driver.

"Eye up thee all reet lad ?"he asked.

"Aye, Bloody Ted tried to sodomise I and ne'er kept a look out,"Tommy says.

"Shoud have waited ‘ till lodge at Immingham,"he laughed,"Still stick wi I and I'll see thee right."

Tommy had no bother wi engine and Sid took him to lodge,"We usually ploughshare two-fold bed drier and firefighter together,"says driver,"But I pays extra."

"What for a single room ?"asks Tommy.

"Nay lad for a woman of the street,"he laughed.

Poor Tommy, he had to kip on floor. Landlady showed them to room. She were a widder, maybe forty year old, fat as a pig, then instead of buggering off while they turned in she stripped off and led on bed while Sid shagged her.

"You want a poke lad, I paid her for whole night ?"Sid asked.

"No thanks,"says Tommy.

"Look why be a gooseberry, sod off and proceed our Dolores ship's company why don't you ?"Landlady suggested.

Dolores were Landladies daugher, she were at Grimsby college learning hospitality.

Her boob were straining the seams on her cardigan, her lips were like rubies, her eyes were like, well heart, one were low-spirited and the other weren't, her hair's-breadth was pure gold wi black roots, her thighs were summat else and her face, had all the right moment and well thee don't have to look at it when you're close up do thee.

"I'm Dolly,"says Dolores.

"hullo doll,"says Tommy.

"comedian eh ?"she says.

"Nay stoker,"says Tommy.

"Got a girlfriend ?"says Dolly.

"Nay,"says Tommy.

"Been buggered ?"she asked.

"No !"says he.

"Good, I'm doing hospitality point,"says Dolly,"Maybe you can help me wi me homework ?"

"I don't know,"says Tommy.

"I got exams on workweek after next and I still ‘ ant sucked a gent off yet,"

"What ?"Tommy demanded.

"I wants to be a Hoo er and you has to be certified to want to be a hoo er,"she said,"Least aways that's what me da says."

"Bin Fucked ?"Tommy asked.

"No that's final full term,"Dolly explained.

"All reet, I lend thee me pecker for blow job,"Tommy says as he dropped his breeches.

"Ooooh its so big !"dolly says."They told me to say that no subject how big it is,"she admitted.

"Belt up and enwrap thee laughing fishing rig round of golf it,"Tommy says all manly like.

"Not if you're going to be bounderish,"Dolly says as she grasped his tool firmly.

"Oh fuck !"says Tommy as he shot his payload, luckily it missed her dress and Cardigan Welsh corgi and splattered onto her neck.

"You're fucking useless,"she opined. Poor Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.

Next day Tommy had to go home be way of Doncaster on account of line being blocked and he had to report to shedmaster to explicate why he hadn't kept a proper look out.

"I had trouble wi injector see,"he explained,"These Gresley railway locomotive are rubbish."

"And thee driver ?"he asked. Now Tommy weren't sort of bloke to dob any bugger in so he says,"Having a shit on me shovel while I worked on injector."

"Trying to bugger thee more like,"examiner replied,"Ah well he won't be buggering any bugger any metre soon, all skins burned off his ass and that firebox door handle."

"Went up his ass,"Tommy said all innocent like.

"Did it heck as like,"said examiner,"It went in all reet but it missed his ass yap, fact is he got two ass pickle now."

"No, you're joking !"Tommy gasped.

"piece of ass surgeon at railway line infirmary hated the fat fucker so he made wound into instant ass hole,"the inspector laughed,"He told Ted he coud have new career in circus as the man we two piece of ass !"

"Bloody hell,"says Tommy,"I suppose he would rather have two prick ?"he suggested.

"Not that bugger !"Inspector added.

Tommy was fascinated be Doncaster whole shebang, he saw engine with omnibus connective on tender,"What's that for ?"he asked.

"So driver can get a pint from buffet car when he's parched,"inspector told him.

As lick would suffer it Ted got septicemia and died, inadequate bugger ‘ adn't no one, no menage or nowt so he has a paupers funeral and the union paid for funeral director and for the serious second handwriting coffin pawn brokers had in inventory out of members subs.

Funeral day and four blokes took some screws and made sure the lid wasn't coming off any time soon before they carried it in to church building and set the casket down, then when service of process started. priest asked Tommy to say a few word of honor, being as he was Ted's concluding mate.

"I couldn't stick Ted. Ted were an frightful fat lazy bugger, a bloody liar and a take a crap mate. He neber oiled his engine proper nor nothin'He died ‘ cause he neglected his dooty to kip a look out. I remember him when we had crash"Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"he said wi'his trouser down and his ass jammed on firehole threshold lever knob."A great belly laugh came from the half 12 or so blokes what botheredbto turn up."I never liked him, no one I know liked him, and I'm bloody glad he's dead."

"Amen !"said someone,"Amun, well said lad !"and they all clapped.

Afterwards Vicar had a quiet word wi Tommy,"I knows we says to always be honest,"Vicar said,"But in twenty years I never heard such an honest eulogy spoken."

Tommy hadn't the slightest mind what he were on about. But when he got one-time he realised one thing, when it comes to buggery its advantageously to devote than receive.

And dolly ? She failed the exams and had to move to Greater London as they has lower standards for Hoo ers than us do in Yorkshire .