The Chair ( 4 )
The chairman
By PABLO DIABLO
right of first publication 2018
As I woke this morning, I was hoping affair in my spirit had changed. I turned my caput, wiping the sand from my eyes. I begin to stretch. I pull myself up in my bed. I look to my left and there it is, my wheelchair.
My prison.
My life.
It sits there mocking me, knowing that I will never escape its hold on me. I hate this chair with all my being. I can find my mortal growing darker with each day's passing.
My judgement rages on. Why did animation have to be so savage ? Why can't I find the felicity that others seem to have ? Why do I give to be stuck in this permanent hell ?
"Why does God hate me ?"I say out loud.
As I struggle to move my stage from the warmth of my bed, I swing them in unison over the edge. Using my cane, I pull on the wheelchair's arm to impart my screw closer to me.
I hate everything about it. The shiny mocking chrome of its frame. The blue devil of the tooshie and arm respite. The pitch blackness of the rubber tyre. The squeak of my body being plunked down into my John Cage, my jail.
I think to myself how multitude either plow me as someone to be ignored or somebody who can just ‘ image it out for myself ’. However, the I that give me the alarm look when I do outdoors my sassing and must ask for help really set my encephalon to raging.
After all, I didn't ask for the body to shop me and be so fragile. If I had a time machine, I never would have allowed myself to be in that place when the fortuity occurred.
I hate my prison.
I hate my life.
I work my way through my apartment. I bang my hand on that sharp tour into the kitchen. I still curse that the rejoinder tops are too luxuriously for me. I hate that I must use that grabber twist to get through anything.
Today is Sir Thomas More of what I dread. Another physical therapy appointment.
Maybe I will see D'andre. He seems to be the alone one who is overnice to me, truly nice not that fake nice that the receptionist shows you.
D'andre, D'andre please be there today.
As I make myself umber, I dial the strong-arm therapy spot to check if D'Andre is there. He is scheduled to get just a few minute of arc before my appointment.
I call the ‘ dial a Ride'religious service to schedule them to fare get me about 10am.
After my coffee, I head to the bathroom to do my sunup ritual. I hate trying to fight the rain shower to get my chair either into the shower or to get my trunk to be active from the chairman onto the step-bench that rests inside the shower.
I decide to necessitate a ‘ cyprian's bath'as my gran would call it. Some also call it a ‘ cowboy bath ’. This goes back to the wild due west days when using the water in the buck troughs was used to make clean up the cowboys coming off the trail.
I brush my dentition. I comb my hair. I put on make-up. I want to appear good for D'andre, he is my complex number boyfriend.
As time progresses, I see it's almost 10. The handicap ride armed service is due here within minutes. I hurry myself to the presence porch to wait for them.
They arrive on fourth dimension. They are skillful enough, but not very newsy. I like chatty.
We arrive at the physical therapy place. I am delight to see D'andre waiting outside for me to arrive. I smile. He always makes me feel in force.
He helps the drive service somebody unload me and he takes place behind my chair pushing me to the therapy room.
"How are you today, Sunshine ?"D'andre asks.
"Better now that I see your smiling face."
"Wonderful ! Let's get you through the therapy today, then I was going to push you through the back gardens afterwards if you would like."
"Um, yes. I think I would really care that. Thank you D'andre."I reply.
I am put through my pattern exercises. I don't believe that any of this is helping, not one damn bit. Yet, I do them anyways. Why ? Because I don't want D'andre to see me not try.
As we come to the end of my therapy, I'm happy to see D'andre waiting for me.
He hands me a towel, so I may pass over my expression from the effort that has formed from all the hard work.
He takes control of my chairman, moving me outside of the therapy edifice into their flower garden.
"D'andre, may I ask you a personal question ?"
"Of course."
"Why are you always here, helping me ?"
"fountainhead, I see soul whom you don't see. I see a beautiful, powerful, opinionated cleaning woman that just needs to change her view."
"modification my survey ? I hate this death chair. This is a prison house I will never get out of. You really don't understand at all."I bark back.
"OK, let me try it this way then. When I was in my senior year of highschool school, my Granny had a massive fortuity. She lost the ability to take the air, about of her delivery, the entire use of her whole the right way face. I felt it an honor to be allowed to agitate my nanna's wheelchair around. I would argue with my parents, my brother, anyone who tried to abuse in nominal head of me to push Granny in her chair. And do you hump what she called her president ? ... ... ... .Her Chair-riot…. because of her cam stroke, she viewed being in a wheelchair as being a Roman Princess in her Chariot. She didn't want compassion. She took what happened to her and made the full out of it. That is what you need, to detect your positive."D'andre said.
I reached up and pulled him down to me, kissing his nerve and whispering"Thank you".