For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a best interlingual rendition of myself. A hero to someone, but every time I see danger or bother, I end up ... freezing. I guess the hero life history is just not for me ... I never introduced myself though did I journal ? You 're new, I 'm new to you and here I am already throwing stuff at you like this, I 'm deplorable. My name is Leon, Leon carter. I 'm 14 and I 'm a high school freshman. I love biz, comics, dancing, umber and I 'm a BIG, BIG Superhero fan, namely ... Superman.

I know, I know ... one would say that a guy my age is should be more into Batman, or really should n't be into cartoon sub at all ... but I just hump it. The stories, the Super family, and the new Superboy Jonathan ? So adorable ! Not many people like it, and I get it, but I guess ... to each one their own I guess ...

But this incoming tonight is not for me to talk about Superman, but about ... well ... who I am.

Sorry about how I unevenly write, I 'm just not used to it, but here we go !

I ... am adopted, I do n't remember when or how I got here but the bomb just dropped one day for me. My parents called me down and recount me one day. I 'd say I took it kinda well, I did n't cry or anything, do n't even think I felt anything actually ... I got benumbed and just ... kept on keep. Maybe it 's due to the fact that my parents love me so much and that I do n't know anything other than them as my parents, but I did n't feel anything minus towards them ... anyway, I go to school day, I have a best ally and lot of friends that take care of me because they say I 'm adorable. I guess that 's chill actually, that everyone likes me this much. I just do n't get what I have that 's so impressive.

One matter about me that I find ... well, weird is ... well ... I do n't even acknowledge why I 'm writing it as if I 'm talking but whatever ...

I do n't feel confortable in relationships.

I love how my friend like me and worry about me, I love my parents, but the mere cerebration of having soul actually love me to the point of wanting to be WITH me gets me ... anxious. I 've had two girlfriends before, sooo let 's lecture about that.

My get-go girlfriend 's gens was Eva. She was odoriferous, she was beautiful ... had these brownish-yellow eyes and inglorious hair ... She would always dumbfound around me, said she 's protect me and my smile, and I said I 'd do the Saame for her ... turns out ... other mass feeling the Saami as you can cause pot of trouble. The fact that my acquaintance all like me just as much made her feel ... unappreciated ... and I ca n't blame her. We broke up in 3 months.

My secondly lady friend was called Lola, and she was awesome. Tough girl, long melanise pilus and blue eyes I 'd easily get lost in. She was really, really tough ... closest to a real life heroine I could receive. One day, we were coming out of the movie when we were jumped by this guy with a knife ready to rob us. As I said, I froze, I could n't do anything ( And repent it to this day ) but her ? She flipped the guy over herself as if he was made of paper, dunno if it was jar or fear but he simply got up and ran away from us. I 'm thankful to her ever since this day. We really hit it off as a couple. Similar tastes, music and games ... but ... well ... she 's an ex for a intellect right ?

She told me something, something that scared me a lot ... she said `` I love you ''. And I could n't ... say it back to her. And after 3 days ... we talked it out and broke up ... I just ... could n't ...

Ok, I just gave myself some face slap and I 'm ready to talk about the succeeding somebody ... the one I let loose all the time. Ian Anderson.

I 've known Ian ever since we were small. We always had fun together ... he is so polite and happy and there 's something about the way he winks that just says `` Do n't concern, I got it ''. He is my age and we are in the same socio-economic class, we like the Saami hooey and he 's really brave ... bravest guy I 've ever known. He is my one truthful wedge, and I ca n't help but notice that ... everytime he winks at me, reassuring me that everything is going to be ok ... my affection skips a metre. I get flighty, I get happy and kinda disappointed that I get to feel this way and have no idea what to do with this feeling ...

Ian is my outflank friend, always was. I feel ... Weird when I 'm around him. I 'm always well-chosen with him. I 'm laughing writing this because ... there was this metre he got here, my parents were out and we played games all day, danced around like a bunch of tyke, sang together and even had pizza pie for dinner. It was one of the glad days of my life. So chill, so good ... he always reassured me that he was having a lot of fun with me, and I could say the same to him. He was the ground I even changed my style !

I used to hold a mussy black hair, one day, he just went `` Hey, ever thought of like ... dyeing your hair ? Blond or something ''. I remember it vividly ... he ... ran his fingers on my hair on the region that should be blond and said `` Maybe modest it on the sides a bit ? ''. I laughed at that, it was so ... Henry Sweet. I would never search as cool as Ian though. His hair is spiky brown, his eyes are the most beautiful nuance of leafy vegetable ... different spectre. Yeah, you heard me.. uhh .... read it. He has heterochromia and it 's the coolest thing ever !

Which brings me to the ... ground I 'm writing this down ... I 've been feeling different about him ... not the skipping a heartbeat ... more like ... I want to be so much closer to him, not seeing him hurts ... and my booster seem to find that I 'm nervous when he is not around. They poke fun, expert natured of course, but I was thinking ... maybe ... I 'm not the solely one feeling like that ... what if I really am not ? What if he feels the Sami way ? Oh God what if he does n't ? Why am I so ... crazy about it ? Am I going crazy ?

Is it ... just me ?

Maybe I 'll ask round him over tomorrow ... try to babble out about it ... I 'll be home alone, large opportunity. What could go improper ?