An old news report reprised.

Note All fibre are entirely ficticious and my excuse of any family or company names have inadvertently been used


My Lady 's origin, the Butlers Tale.


I was idly cleaning some silverware. The sun was shining through the draftsmanship elbow room Windows. The lawns stretched away towards the lake with its island and folly while a gardener snipped ineffectually away at the lawn edges. It was an ordinary summertime day.

Mr Harrison my lord 's inventory broker and advisor arrived just after tiffin, he asked no require to see my noblewoman with the utmost urgency.

'' But sir, my lady is resting, '' I explained, knowing she was most potential with one Lieutenant Carruthers her latest dalliance.

I went to try her, I went upstairs to her room and knocked decorously, and then as one does I listened intently.

'' Oh yes, '' she was gasping, `` Oh that 's sooo good, do n't discontinue. ``

'' There 's someone knocking, '' a man 's vocalism hissed.

'' Mr Harrison wishes an audience my gentlewoman, '' I explained through the unopen door.

'' Then have him wear a funny wig and look at the Adelphi ! '' the man joked.

'' Johnny Reb, '' my lady whispered, `` Look its Gerald 's banker, I had better go, '' and she shouted `` Just a present moment ! ''

Amazingly quickly my lady appeared at the door, a vision of golden Robert Floyd Curl Jr. and vermillion chiffon, spoiled only by smeared lip rouge.

'' My noblewoman, '' I explained, `` Your lip stick ? ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` Do n't be so damned impertinent ! '' but she still looked in the mirror and repaired the damage with a napkin.

'' thoroughly lad, mums the Word of God ? '' Carruthers said as he followed her from the room while smoothing his cricket jersey down and taking his wallet from his white cricket pant he tucked a ten Kenyan shilling note in my top pouch, `` See myself out, plump for way. '' and he slipped away, the very epitome of a lounge lizard, or should that be mill around snake.

I left him to his deceit and deception, no uncertainty the regiment thought he was elsewhere, perhaps he was at cricket and had himself bowled out to part with half an hr for cuckolding but perhaps his enormous ego would not allow him to come along less than a battery-acid at the crimp but he was certainly nearly slimy of my madam 's affection.

My lady swept downstairs, `` Mister Harrison, what a pleasant surprise ! '' she simpered.

'' I fear not Lady Saltcoats, '' he said, `` Can we verbalise privately ? ``

'' The study is available my lady, '' I suggested.

'' He means sodomise off Holdford ! '' my lady hissed.

'' Alford my lady, '' I corrected, `` Certainly my lady. ``

'' Go on then ! '' she hissed and she ushered me away.

I went to the kitchen, I sat on my stool, Mrs bridge deck the Cook stood at the sink, `` Trouble Mr Alford ? '' she asked.

I looked at her, expectant breasted, round of golf shouldered and old before her time, `` None of our stage business Mrs Bridges, '' I said using the courtesy title of Mrs despite the fact she had never married and was likely a virgin, with lilliputian prospect of losing that distinction.

'' If you say so sir ! '' she said sarcastically.

I let it go and then suddenly my lady shouted `` No ! ``

I stood and rushed to the study and put away the room access wide. My dame was aghast, but stood yards from Harrison, `` No, it can not be so ! '' she cried.

'' What have you done sir ? '' I demanded, `` My Lady is distraught ! ``

'' Not I, '' he said, `` I accept no incrimination. ``

'' For what ? '' I asked.

'' Lord Saltcoats has been declared bankrupt, '' Harrison explained, `` liquidator have been appointed, my lord has seven calendar days to vacate these assumption, meanwhile all bank account are glacial. ``

'' What do you mean ? '' I demanded.

'' home explanation, all that sort of matter, '' he explained, `` It 's the stock market, and reinsurance, high finance, you would n't understand. ``

I should induce hit him for his insult, but how was he to know my true character ? Instead I congratulated myself on blending so subtly into the fabric of the country house.

'' There will be some residue surely, the Jack London residency ? '' I asked.

'' Mortgaged, '' he said, `` And remortgaged, liabilities vastly exceed the assets. ``

'' Then why let this bechance ! '' I queried.

'' None of your business enterprise, '' he said, `` But I had no idea, none at all, I merely pull off his lordship 's investment portfolio, of line we made heavy losings, but no to a greater extent than anyone else, less than many, it 's not my shift he started meddling in indemnity, none at all ! ``

'' What does it mean, where will we go ! '' my noblewoman demanded.

The telephone rang, in an automatic reflex action I went to the entering hall to answer it.

'' Rainsford family, Lord Saltcoats manse, '' I answered automatically.

'' Alford, is that Alford ? '' someone demanded.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed.

'' Right look its Ted Griggs here, '' he said, `` His lordship 's John Griffith Chaney chauffeur, I got some bad newsworthiness. ''

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' Look tell Mrs Bridges that God Almighty Saltcoats, has disappeared, '' he said.

'' Disappeared, no he 's gone bankrupt. '' I said.

'' Well I dropped him off at Victoria Falls around ten o'clock this dawn and they said to go home plate when I got back, I reckon he legged it to French Republic on the form de fancy woman, '' he meant the Golden Arrow gearing, `` What do you mean smash ? '' he demanded, `` Oh tinker's damn, I ai n't got no more than penny tell Mrs Bridges, '' he said after the telephone pinged and suddenly it went dead Brrrrrrr.

'' It seems his Lordship has left left us, '' I said as I returned.

'' Only decent thing, '' Harrison agreed, `` Gun or noose ? ``

'' The train ferry to Anatole France ! '' I corrected.

'' Oh the sum dump ! '' my madam cried.

'' Indeed my lady, '' I agreed and I slipped away.

Generally private use of his lordship 's phone was grounds for wink sack but I no longer cared, and throwing caution to the wind I booked a call to my bank in Liverpool where they were keeping my `` kinfolk ash gray, '' in their prophylactic deposit.

'' Alford ! '' my lady protested when she saw me at the telephony when I should give birth shown Mr Harrison out, but I ignored her.

She flew at me afterwards, `` How daring you ! '' she said, `` Collect your affair you are dismissed immediately ! ``

'' And how shall you pay me what you owe ? '' I demanded, `` You can not. ``

'' I can fire you with zilch ! '' she said, `` No defrayal, no reference, no character ! ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried, `` Well perhaps you can pay me. ``

'' No ! take your matter and go ! '' she said.

'' Perhaps you could pay me the way you pay Lieutenant Carruthers and a few Thomas More I might name ! '' I suggested.

'' No, assault ! '' she wailed and she rushed towards her room.

I followed, I caught her at the doorway and pushed her inside pausing only to run off the door.

'' No ! '' she said, `` Well at least let me loosen the hooks, this cost an absolute portion. ``
'' Of class, '' I said, `` Allow me. ``

She sat on the bed as I unfastened her apparel, `` Be thrifty, '' she pleaded and then she stood and it fell around her feet.

Her well rounded breasts bulged over her red girdle, her red knickers enclosed by the gallus shoulder strap, and she stood up and laid the dress carefully on the dresser.

'' That 's good, '' she said and she screamed, `` Rape, '' again several times.

'' Ot would appear the US cavalry is otherwise engaged my lady, '' I observed as I removed my highly smooth black shoes to discover well worn black socks with protruding big toes, which I hurriedly removed, `` Does deputy Carruthers take away his shirt and under shirt ma'am ? '' I asked.

'' No, though it is none of your business, '' she declared, `` Rape ! '' she shouted again.

I removed my cap and shirt front end, slipped the cardboard collar off and removed my undershirt.

'' honest lord, '' she gulped, `` Alford, '' and then I unbuttoned my rainfly and removed trousers and underpants in a single motion.

'' God, you are proud of to see me are n't you ! '' she exclaimed as she gazed at my humanity as it strained, `` Right, '' she said as she snapped her brace away from her stockings and pushed her breeches down before kicking them off her feet.

'' Rape, '' she shouted again and then, `` Oh well, you wo n't hurt me will you, and there are some johnny 's in the bandaging table.

'' They spoil the moment my lady, '' I explained, `` I shall climb on you as the in effect nobleman intended. ``

It was nearly a week since my last-place Night off, spent with two buxom whores in the town a dull ten foresightful mi away by bike, and my need was smashing, and her protests were little but tokens.

'' Do n't hurt me, '' she asked again as I gripped her shank as I planted my knees firmly between hers and blindly aimed my humanity at her.

'' Hey, '' she said, `` Not there, let me, '' and she guided my straining manhood between her unseen pussy brim and took me to heaven.

'' Do something then, '' she insisted.

'' What ? '' I asked as I luxuriated in the feel of her moist cunt gripping me.

'' I do n't have sex, but it 's not very exciting for me. '' she declared.

I thrust against her, `` intimately ? '' I asked.

'' practically ! '' she said, `` And again, that 's better, '' she said, `` Oh you 're so big, '' she said, `` shag me, you 're going to prison for this so enjoy yourself ! ``

I started to call back of her as a harlot, a beautiful golden haired high year whore, and then I remembered the smeared lipstick and I determined to sample her sassing as well and I dipped my sass to fondle hers.

Her tongue emerged instantly, running around my teeth, my judgment exploded and so did my cock jerking and pumping and flooding her parts, and as our lip parted she was gasping and murmuration, `` Oh my god, '' she said and then we stilled.

'' Alford, '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``,

'' What ? '' I asked.

'' If we 're belly-up '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``

'' What is this `` We'suddenly ? '' I asked.

'' Well, what is it to be Alford, rape or 'we', '' she asked quite reasonably.

'' We, '' I said, `` My lady. ``

`` I expect Gerald has, '' she said quietly, `` He wo n't face ruin, he knows I only want his money, I never loved him. ``

'' And the dashing Lieutenant ? '' I enquired.

'' He makes me experience upright, '' she said, `` But then to be honorable, so do you. ''

She stretched, `` So what is it to be, a prissy cold cell or me ? ``

'' What a alternative, may I have a bit to cerebrate my noblewoman ? '' I asked.

'' Get dressed, we have appearance to maintain, '' she insisted and she went to get dressed again.

I too dressed and made my way downstairs, there was a hubbub of voices in the kitchen, I went in, `` Mr Alford, or is it My Lord. '' Binks the capitulum gardener challenged.

'' Mr Binks, '' I replied, `` What troubles you ? ``

'' You and her ladyship, '' he said.

'' She 's finished, '' I said, `` We 're finished, his Lordship 's bankrupt, the bailiffs are coming so I 'm leaving. ``

'' And ladyship, '' Mrs Bridges asked.

'' Do n't ask me, '' I insisted.

'' She 's leaving with Mr Alford, '' her ladyship said as she came to stand behind me, `` Tonight. ``

I had no intention of leaving so soon yet there was lilliputian compass point in remaining, `` We need to babble, '' I explained.

'' We 'll get a hotel room, '' she suggested, `` Do you force back ? ``

'' Yes, '' I agreed.

'' Then we 'll take the Rolls, '' she insisted, `` The shooting brake ! ``

We left that same eve, her luggage stowed in every spare space it that vast crudely overbodied travesty of a sumptuousness car so good that she had to sit beside me, and we made our way north.

'' What will you do ? '' I asked.

'' What do you suggest ? '' she replied.

'' well I doubt cooking or cleansing is to your taste, '' I suggested, `` Whore, prostitute, courtesan ? ``

'' Yes, '' she agreed, `` I have some money, perhaps we could get a room ? ``

'' Perhaps, but for now, '' I suggested, `` Lady Alford and her Chauffeur ? ``

'' reprint beds ? '' she asked, `` I 'll call you Alan ! ``

'' One for sleeping and one for body of work ! '' I joked.

I could n't trust her, I never really intended for her to become a whore but could not lay on the line telling her the Sojourner Truth, maybe I should have got, but I didn't.

You see three years before my Father of the Church had made musical arrangement for me to work in the United States of America, to learn about the American English system of banking which seemed so greatly superior to ours, and while there the great wreck of 1929 erupted through the whole economic system.
I was working at a mass medium sizing city banking concern as a sorting of supporter manager, and I was right there when the run came, and when it came it all seemed to materialize all at once.

Ordinary the great unwashed, steady family line waited in a line right down the street and you did n't need to be a wizard to act upon out we had not even a tenth of the money those people thought they had in their story to pay them. We started paying out in the forenoon and by noon the vault was void, except that is an innocuous cardboard box of big value bills which somehow found their way in my storage locker, for safe keeping you understand.

Ted Adams chief cashier and Jim McFadden the manager came down the bank hallway all glum faced, `` Shut the doors Jim, '' McFadden said to the sentry go, `` We 're gone broke. ``

That triggered a skinny belly laugh, I slipped out the back way with my box and in all the confusion I swapped my twenty seven Buick for the janitor 's bicycle and coat and I rode off down the street on that bicycle with about a one-half million clam in that cardboard box balanced on the crossbreed bar.

I went to the apartment I rented, told Mrs Rafferty the concierge I was leaving and I headed north Mae West towards New York city on the evening train.

So what do you do when you have half a million dollars of someone else 's Johnny Cash ? Why get a job of course.

Except the world and his brother was looking for a job, so I bought some furniture, put my box in a sideboard, had it crated and arranged shipment to England on the RMS Mauretania and I sailed home 2nd class.
I had my crate put in warehousing and looked for a job, told dad I was still in the province, changed my name to Alford and forged some references and worked in Liverpool until I fancied some country air and her ladyship took me on as Butler.

She knew my references were forged, she thought she could sack me any time and that would keep me in business line and stop me telling her husband about her lovers.

But now I had half a million dollar to drop, without being noticed.

We found a nice little apartment, it was over a betting shop in the Harrow Road, the estate agentive role had hundreds of empty dimension, we could fill our pick.

She had nest egg, we pawned some of her jewellery, we painted the apartment, bought beds furniture, I had my poppycock from Liverpool sent over and we worked like a real team.

Then when we were all set up to open I told her my architectural plan, `` search, '' I said one evening after a particularly long and gruelling session in bed.

'' I know, Mr. flopsy is tired, he needs a osculation, '' she said as she bent to snog my muffled penis.

'' My dame, you do n't necessitate to sleep with anyone, except me, '' I explained, '' I have about half a million dollar mark to launder, you just say an freakish American paid you in dollar sign. ``

'' But Alan, '' she said, `` We agreed, we did all the body of work, we were going to get a maid, set out modest, construct up, two or three gentlemen a Nox to begin with. ``

'' We can just use it as a top, '' I explained.

'' But you promised two or three men a day, '' she said angrily, `` You promised ! ``

'' But surely you do n't want ? '' I asked.

'' And you do n't seriously recall you live up to me do you ? '' she asked, `` With Mr diskette always needing a suck to kick jump him, for heavens sake ! ``

'' You want to be a whore ? '' I said incredulously.

'' Yes with you there to protect me, '' she said, `` I expect I could do a gentleman in forty min and a servant in ten. ``

'' At the same time ? '' I queried, `` One up the binding transit ? ``

'' Possibly, '' she said, `` But you did the heart and soul, even with a few twenty-four hour period a month when we need a stand in we will make a killing ! ``

'' But what about us ? '' I asked.

'' Oh, you still get your turn, '' she said, `` But really, seriously, '' she said, `` I need more. ``

We heard goose egg of Lord Saltcoats and so it was that we opened `` The Lady 's Boudoir '' one evening in September 1932.

The figure was stencilled on the threshold beside the betting store an inside the door we had a booth where the receptionist Lillia sat guarding the bottom of the step and then I would recognise the man, take their hat and boxing glove and stand in attendance in casing they needed assistance with dressing and always maintain discretion and moderation.

It sickened me, every day she lay in bed from mid dawn till after midnight while a ecological succession of men used her, `` Good day sir may I take your hat ? '' I would ask and get a contemptuous glower in return as baseball mitt were thrown in the hat and the hat handed to me.

We reached understanding for the betting shop to be our waiting room, every day there was my noblewoman, answering to any gens under the sun, play acting the sweet heart, legs astride, twat glistening. mammilla distended, bathed in effort like as not and then dragging some half naked gentleman minus trousers and underpants but like as not retaining wind sock and sock brace to her as she grasped his rampant member to aim it within her or suck in it to life or mop up.

Hairy asses bobbling as they pounded her, time after time, workweek after week, month after calendar month until every snow leopard of compassion I had for her was background to nothing by the rubbing of private parts upon crotch.

I rented a firm for us in Middlesborough bench so we could get away from her work, but she was always too tired so I had the other bedroom converted to another work elbow room, desolate floors and a simple mattress.

They paid extra for the bare mattress, the more than soiled it got the better they liked it because it stopped being gentlemen and instead it was anyone who won a bet on the horses.

They all wanted to fuck a exquisitely lady on a soil mattress.

'' Maybe you would prefer standing against a wall in the ginnel ? '' I asked in a second of rash sarcasm.

'' And how lots duplicate would that be ? '' the chap asked quite seriously.

'' Double, '' I said flippantly.

'' Then I 'll hold that ! '' he agreed.

She used the courtyard, the ginnel was too populace and she wore a twosome of cog and a handmaiden smock, sometimes we had three men waiting while a fourth fucked her standing against the wall.

Sometimes Lillia pretended to be the lady, if she remembered to keep her oral cavity shut, when not clamped around a client 's member that is, she was hunky-dory, except it made too much work for me keeping an eye on two whores, taking money and everything.

One nighttime a Irishman asked me to fuck him up the ass while he fucked Lillia. I declined, but it gave me an estimation, `` So where do you get you 're ass fucked ? '' I asked.

He told me, I out an ad in the window and got ten question in two hours.

I gave Harry the job, he liked nothing better than wearing a skirt with nothing under it, usually he wore a kilt but his geordie accent betrayed him and he relished the melodic theme of ramming his meat up gentlemen 's backsides while they shafted our whores.

He seemed entirely capable so I left him to it, and gradually did less and LE meter at the Boudoir and he became more or less the manager while I planned my next move.

I went to London and became delayed with my intimacy and came north again to check on my lady.

She was not there, `` Gentlemen want miscellanea sir, I got some new lady friend in, '' Harry explained.

'' But she was the unharmed reason ! '' I pleaded, `` Where is she ? ``

'' Blowed if I know sir, '' he said, `` I just thought she were a prostitute, sir. I never thought she was your special lady of pleasure. ``

I went out to assay her, I asked around until I heard of individual living in a hut by the railway and earning a crust from plate layers and the like.

I had to find her and bought a bowler hat and duster coat like a railway official and marched down to the railing yards.

There was no sign of her, but then a favourable cerebrovascular accident, `` You going for a jar Tam ? '' someone asked a driver as his chemise ended.

'' Och so I will, after I poke the lady, '' was his reply.

I followed, he went to the engineman 's barracks, where the long distance men lodged before returning base, and there I found her naked but for a coating open up at the nominal head sitting on an engine man 's locker hearing to the tale of engines.

'' Enginemen only sir, '' the assistant said politely but firmly.

'' I came to see her, '' I said and pointed, `` How are you ? ``

'' Well, '' she said and she smiled, `` Were you worried ? '' she asked.

'' Yes, you were not at the house, '' I explained.

'' That Harry was beastly, '' she said, `` He wanted to shoot more, but I just want sex. ``

'' And now ? '' I asked.

'' They are lovely, all these lonely men to comfort, '' she said, `` They make me find wanted. ''

I looked at her, her blonde hair's-breadth seemed to be silvering, her sputter once like alabaster now weatherbeaten, `` I 'll go on an account for your money, you know where to find me, '' I explained, `` Oh Geoffrey turned up, '' I added, `` He 's working as a Gigolo in Monte Carlo, maybe you two were made for each other after all. ``

'' Maybe, '' she admitted but the Scotsman had her in his ember dusted branch and his melanize hands ran through her hair and his black lips brushed her ruby lips and it was more than I could carry to see.

I hid my tear and left her even as she gasped in approval as her Scottish lover took her to heaven once more .