This report is an existential dramatic play focusing on psychology, depressive disorder, and romance. It takes a while to get to the sexual stuff and nonsense, but do n't occupy, there is plenty. If you are looking for a fortuity story, please go back to the main page. If you are looking for a bass love story, I hope you enjoy. I hope you 'll be patient and save your votes until the end. Thank you.




Chapter 1



If somebody were to ask just who"she"was, I wouldn't be able to do, as I hadn't the slightest clue. A hallucination ? Some variety of angel ? For the past tense five years, I would greet each break of day with the stopping point ardent fingerbreadth of a dream clinging to my judgment. I'd drum roll on my English, and lying adjacent to me would be a girl of my age, but with beauty unmatched by anyone else on the planet. With liquid smooth skin as soft as ripe fruit, a skin color shade like that of molten bronze and silver mixed together, and promising blue air eyes that held unique kindness and warmth, the very sight of her was like a religious experience. Her most predominant feature was her haircloth, an elegant deep red that could remove all fright of rip from anyone's soul. mathematical group of string would stick together and then curl towards the end like a tongue of fire, granting her a treated and yet untamable mane that hung down to her thighs.

Along with the human face of a goddess, she had a physique that made a mockery of the intelligence"perfection ”. Her glassy-smooth stage seemed to load her miles, coming to an end at a full but taut hind end end with the knock off entrance to her Gates of paradise just barely visible under the faithful of the cotton wool sheet. Her midsection was like that of a bikini good example's, with a concave dip on either slope from her perfect slightness. Cliché as the terminus was, she certainly had an hourglass digit. final stage but not to the lowest degree, even though she looked only eighteen, she had D-Cup breast that looked as gentle as piddle balloons but business firm and lively.

Every day, I would wake up with her beside me, lying in bed naked as if we had spent half of the premature nighttime making sweet, passionate dear. Each time, she would appear to almost be faintly glowing, and coupled with her flawless ravisher, I was surely justified in calling her an angel. Lying there, I would watch as her eyes opened like the rising sun, letting me stare into her beautiful blue devil. Staring justly back at me with endless love, she would smile, hum, and settle back to sleep. Even while knowing how it would end, I would always reach out and try to partake her, despairing to sense some sort of test copy that she was real number, but always, she would fade away before I could even stroke her hair.

Suffice to say, I was almost haunted by this"dream ”. This girl, this figment of my imagery, was the Inner Light of my lifespan and the intellect why I went to bed each Nox and plowed through each day. I had never heard her vocalisation, never touched her, never been able to speak to her, and I didn't even know her name… yet I loved her. She was my secret, the one aspect of my life that I would never speak of, no matter what. When she first started to appear, I even obsessed over her. I would draw her every Nox on a sketchpad hidden under my bed, remembering her visage with watch crystal clarity and moving my hand with skill that I would never accept as my own, mirroring her image with graphite and theme with such closeness that I would hold no incertitude as to being possessed.

Ironically, she was actually the solitary dream I would ever cause. I would converge her each cockcrow in a half-awake state, but through the night, my psyche's eye would see nothing but an dateless expansion of shadow, in which I would hover aimlessly until waking up. The only variance from the disgraceful sky was a single pinch of light in the distance, a trice star almost completely out of mass, then I would ignite up to see the young woman beside me. I often wondered if she was that lead. She certainly fit the function. She was the Christ Within of my life, a get off I desperately needed, one of the last few reasons why I was still awake. Being able to waken up and see her each sunrise, even if for LE than a minute of arc, she supplied me with enough will major power to endure the sprightliness I didn't want. But I have her, I'll always have her, and the day she disappears is the day I lose that final reason not to end it all.

But she wasn't here today. I didn't expect her to, seeing as how I found myself waking up in the infirmary. A bright spark had shone through my palpebra, stabbing my already sore mentality. I could try the beeping of a heart admonisher nearby. My mind was a mix up mountain from the cocktail of drugs being pumped into me from the IV bags at my English, but I delved into my consciousness in hunting of answers. I remembered sitting in class… 6th stop. Senior Biology was half finished… but there was something wrong. I remembered that my hands had been trembling, even Sir Thomas More than common. My skin was being pricked with invisible needles like all my tree branch had fallen asleep, but I couldn't remember if it had come suddenly or if it had built over prison term. I remembered the first dagger stabbing me in the back of the neck. I remembered falling out of my chairwoman, roaring in torment as I collapsed to the flooring.

But it wasn't the luminosity or the beeping that had woken me up. It was the pain burning ceaselessly throughout my body. In the single moment from when I woke up, I went from being fine to feeling like I was in the burn mark Aaron Montgomery Ward, charred from head to toe. My muscles all felt like they were being pierced with hot nails, my organs twisted into knots. I leaned over the edge of the bed and vomited on the floor. My heart monitor was sending a digital screech, bringing in a nurse.

"Kill me !"I screamed as the painful sensation intensified.



I sat on the hospital bed with my upset parents, facing Dr. Nat Turner, a blond woman in her early mid-thirties. I had an IV bag of morphine hanging next to me, trying to suppress the chronic pain that was ravaging my body. I was receiving the maximum sum possible, but even then, all of my skin felt like a blistering suntan and my insides faired no better.

"What you experienced in class was a seizure, caused by multiple tumors in your brainpower, focused on two specific field. It may be possible for us to pour down them with a expectant dose of radiation syndrome and chemotherapy, but with how little and numerous these tumors are, the chances are slenderize. It's a completely new form of cancer, and we aren't indisputable what its long-term gist are."

My parents started to cry, but I was completely calm."Is it deadly ? What the hell is going on with me ?"

"Not in the traditional gumption, but we just aren't completely sure."She held up an x-ray of my brain and pointed to a illumine berth."That is the orotund group of tumors and we imagine the oldest. However, whether they have grown over clock time or have always been there is a mystery story. They are attached to your limbic arrangement. Specifically, they are growing from the division of your brain that produces the chemical serotonin, as well as former chemicals that control temper. It appears that they aren't growing any further, but—"

"Let me gauge, they're basically smothering that part of my brain down and starving me of those chemicals ?"

She nodded and pointed to another bright office."Yes, exactly. Now as for the chronic pain, these tumors on your brainstem are the source. The tumour are basically rooting down into your anxious system of rules, causing continuous arousal of infliction receptors. They're basically acting as electrodes hooked up to your spinal anesthesia column. It seems that until now, they haven't been magnanimous enough to set off you uninterrupted botheration. You could almost say that the tumor have finally activated. What you're experiencing now, that painfulness is from the tumor simply existing. That gaining control you had earlier was the tumors reaching the peak story of stimulation and maximum. That may receive been a sometime matter or they could randomly occur from now on while on top of your current condition.

"So is there any way to lessen the extent of my pain ?"

"Yes, with anti-convulsion medicine, pain sensation killers, and maybe some antidepressants, we might be able to minify the extent."

"By how much ?"

"Well, at this point we can't quite be sure. With drugs, we can make it so that you won't black out if the seizures persist, make the pain in the ass passable, and maybe take away the bound of the depression so that you won't become suicidal."

‘ It's too late for that.'“ So it won't vote down me, but it will fill up me with excruciating pain in the neck and make me incapable of happiness ?"

"Yes,"Dr. Turner said mournfully.



Not wanting to put out staying in the infirmary, I asked to be discharged. Before leaving, we stopped off at the hospital pharmacy to pick up my MEd. I was holding my paw out in the cold October air as we drove, hoping that the raw shivering might facilitate the dull pounding in my digit. The pain anovulant were slowly kicking in, making it so that the insect bite was bearable, but already, the word"bearable"had gained a whole new meaning for me. The drive home was silent, for my parents were trying to keep back bust, but I was calm. That's the one respectable affair about being suicidal : the prospect of your own death actually brings you peace. Now I didn't have to experience guilty about killing myself. The effect it would stimulate on my category was one of the only things keeping me from ending it all. Now I could just let the cancer do it for me.

In a way, it felt estimable to finally have an result as to why I suffered from clinical depression. I had been depressed for most of my XVIII years, even suicidal, completely in contrast to the comfortable middle-class life I lived in my hometown in Maine. I couldn't even count the telephone number of antidepressants, forced therapy lessons, and thoughts of longing to just die. There are people starving all over the macrocosm, masses suffering. It's a mystery to mass like me why they just don't kill themselves. It is the solitary question I will leave behind. How do they have lifespan that make my revulsion look pathetic, but they have the will to live that I lack ? That was always an issue nagging in the spinal column of my intellect : being depressed without having a reason. It was that mixture of guilt trip for knowing that I should moot myself golden but the inability to do so, and the feeling of helplessness from the knowledge that it meant that nothing could change how I felt, and that if I would care for death in a comfortable lifetime, then I would wish for death no topic what.

But now, I just don't care. I don't need to care. I may not possess suffered as much as people in Africa or other hellhole like that, but… at least they are capable of feeling felicity. Compared to them, I'm broken, and these tumors are the trial impression. I have felt the bite of a leaf blade to try and cancel out my internal pain in the neck with outer pain. I have felt my sanity ripped away by years of sadness. depressive disorder is Sir Thomas More than sorrow. It is the inability to sense joy. It's a missing foundation, like a construction with a swallow hole where its fourth cornerstone should be. No matter what you use to try and endorse the building, it'll evenfall away, and the construction can never stick out, until it too crumbles and falls into the pit. To hold out with depression is like running a endurance contest with one leg, and the only assistant you can get is people suggesting you buy a better couplet of shoes.

But hopefully, I'll be all in soon and I won't have to finger pain or lugubriousness anymore.



climax home, I went uncoiled upstairs and hid in my room. I just wanted to go to sleep ; maybe it would ease my suffering. Downstairs, I could hear my parents telling my younger sister and brother the bad news.



I was completely in awe, hovering in empty blank space within my dream. Before me, roaring in limitless chroma was the undivided superstar I always saw when I slept. Before now, it had been little more than a individual mite of light off in the distance, but now it was clearly in view, the size of the Moon and nearly terrorisation, simply because I realized now that it was not simply a sensation. In actuality, it was a Negro muddle, devouring a star from the inside out, sucking in the flames and gas of the celestial giant star. I could see it as if the sun was a piece of fruit cut in half to discover the core. Yet miraculously, the sun did not shrink or diminish in size. It seemed more like it was constantly regenerating. form around the eternally-dying principal was a green oval-shaped nebula, about three times as large as the star itself, and making the whole thing resemble an eye with the black hole as the pupil.

"The eye of God…"I murmured.

While the star was beyond my human comprehension in terms of size, I could feel myself being pulled towards it through the strength of its gravity. Whether this was truly the eye of God, I could not be surely, but one thing I was certain of was that it was my death. No, this object within my ambition would not kill me, but it was the symbolic representation of my end. The close my mind got to it, the airless my body got to death. At the beautiful raft, I could not help but smile hysterically."I'm going to die, I'm finally going to die. Just a little yearner and I will finally discover peace."

I closed my oculus, and when I opened them again, I found myself back in my bed. As always, the imaginary number saint was lying beside me, clearly visible in the luminosity of the morning sun. Beautiful, she was so beautiful. The two of us were LE than a foot apart, yet it felt like a mi. Lying there, this gorgeous delusion in front of me, I felt my bother disappear like the extinguishing of a candle. Repeating my break of the day rite, I reached up and tried to bear on her, desperate to live the sensation of her skin against my own. As expected, she disappeared just as I was about to make contact, but something stopped me from retracting my arm and letting it declination. My eyes astray, my hand trembling, I scanned through the recorded sensations of that legal brief back, do-or-die to figure out if what I had sensed so briefly had been real.

It was faint, so light-headed that it was almost beyond the reaching of my sensations, but it HAD been there. Warmth, that was what I felt, the air within the space that she always occupied was warmer, as if energized by her body heat energy. My drift my deal around through the empty infinite she had left behind, running my finger through the warm air as if her recollective crimson hair were brushing against my laurel wreath. I then held my helping hand up to my face, clutching some of the air from that space, and smelled it. Like the passion, what I detected within that air was almost beyond my ability to common sense, but it was there, an odour so faint that I was actually working my mind into a headache trying to psychoanalyze it. Roses, that was what it was.

Shaken by this new revelation, I rolled over towards my window and winced from the light of the noon sun shining directly into my eyes. My parents had let me skip school.

"I might as well get used to this…"

I immediately grabbed my bottle of meds as my torment began to irrupt from being conscious, downing two pills without anything to drink. It took time to get dressed, as I quickly found that my sinew were stiff from the waves of throbbing pain. Aching all over, I walked downstairs and saw my dad in the bread and butter room, reading the newspaper. He was there to relieve oneself certain I got through the day without hurting myself. Trying to stay unnoticed, I snuck into the kitchen. The last thing I wanted was for him to want some foresighted conversation about how I could talk to him at any metre and all that early stuff. I took my antidepressants and convulsion MEd, and made myself a bowl of grain. Just as I was crossing the kitchen with the bowl, a thunderbolt of electricity shot up my vertebral column, making me palpate like I was being flogged with red-hot chains. I dropped the bowl with a loud bang and collapsed to the flooring, gripping my skull and roaring in anguish. This was even regretful than my first seizure, a stratum of nuisance reserved for the doomed souls of Hell. My dad bolted out of his chair and rushed over to me. Within thirty minute, it was over. I could sense the annoyance ebbing away, until it was at its normal levels.

"Are you all right ?"

"Yeah, I'm ok."

"We're taking you to the hospital."

"No,"I declared. My dad looked at me as I picked up the broken shards of the arena and stood up."I'm going to be having these ictus for the sleep of my sprightliness. I can't go to the hospital after every one. I'll get used to them eventually."



I suffered two to a greater extent seizures that day, both of them causing me to fall to the floor in agony. My mom got home with my sr. sister and new brother. They all paused when they saw me in the TV elbow room. I was watching a horror moving picture and the room was dark. There were bags under my oculus from the strain of my seizures and my hands were trembling to a greater extent than common. I looked at my mom and gently agitate my head. She got the message and slowly pulled my siblings away.

The dinner had an ungainly silence as everyone tried not to stare at me.

"Emily, you wouldn't materialize to screw what my homework is, would you ? Did you talk to my teachers ?"I asked my sister.

"No."

"I need to head up back to school tomorrow, I can't afford to turn a loss two twenty-four hour period as a senior."

"No, absolutely not,"my mom argued.

"I need to go back to schoolhouse sometime, and this pain and these seizure aren't going to go away. I have malignant neoplastic disease, not some goddamn cold that will go away after a day of rest."

Everyone tensed as I mentioned the cancer.

"There is no reasonableness for me to stay home."



The sky was a dark Gray and sleeting as my dad drove us to school. other students were swarming in to get out of the rain and snow as the door were finally unlocked. inaugural stop was about to pop and I hadn't wanted to wait for it with all of the other shaver. The death thing I needed was an inapt twenty min outside the schoolhouse with everyone staring at me.

"Are you sure you want to do this ?"my dad asked for the one-hundredth time.

"Like I said, there is no reason for me to quell home."

I stepped out of the car and into the falling snow and rainwater, pulling up the exhaust hood of my sweatshirt. It was going to be a harsh winter. Fall hadn't even ended and the priming coat was covered by a animal foot of snow and ice. I didn't notice the cold as I walked towards the school. I was the finale somebody inside and I quickly headed towards my first socio-economic class. I was hoping to outride unnoticed, putting off the inevitable nuisance value. I stepped into the pocket-size schoolroom, trying to cover behind the gang of nestling getting into their arse. I sat in the back of the year where no one would see me. If I had been noticed, no one was mentioning it. The teacher began calling attendance. I became more and Sir Thomas More tense as he approached my name.

"Marcus Baron Clive of Plassey ?"he asked, doubtingly.

"Here."

As one wave, everyone turned to me.

"Ah, I had heard that you had suffered a seizure on Monday, are you alright now ?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I found out that I have a new form of malignant neoplastic disease, but I'm fine."

Everyone gasped and began muttering amongst each former. The teacher was silent for almost a minute.

"Please, continue,"I said dryly as I took a pill.



I walked down the crowded halls with everyone staring at me. Every few minute, someone would ask me a question about the disease in my mentality or secernate me all that lame bullshit about how I could peach to them at any time. I reached for my pills the endorse plenty time had passed since my last one. Just as I put my hand on the cap, the sensation of being stabbed in the back of the skull with a nail bat ran through my torso, sending me tumbling down to the floor and roar in pain. People around me freaked out as I writhed on the flooring, gripping my skull as the tumour on my brainstem all sent a particularly impregnable earth tremor through my nervousness. Within several arcsecond, it was over. I lied on the flooring in a cold-blooded swither, slowly trying to get up.

I raised my head and coughed up a mouthful of blood onto the floor. The focus of my constant pain in the ass, coupled with my seizures had ruptured an arterial blood vessel or vein somewhere. People tried to help me up but I waved them away. I took two birth control pill and ignored the part of everyone as I walked away with a limp.



It was tiffin and I was sitting where I always sat. Against the wall of the cafeteria was a set of folded bleacher where student could sit during lunch if they didn't want to be at a table. As always, I was by myself, but that was because I was compelled to be. I sighed as another missy came up to me and said that if I ever wanted to peach, I could let the cat out of the bag to her.

‘ You're only saying that because of my cancer. If I didn't have a psyche full of tumors, nada would convert between us. I barely even know who you are.'I fought the temptation to say it, but my anger was making unmanageable."Thanks,"I said instead, but with a tone as dry as the brick wall behind me.

She walked away and I looked out over the cafeteria for the hundredth time, trying to keep off the gaze of the people looking at me and loathing what everyone was. humans was as much of a cancer as the tumor in my brain, and I hated my species with every roughage in my being. I hated the weakness, the avarice, the stupidity, the shortsightedness, and every other thing that made us the overgrown cockroaches that we were. I had to hate them, for my own good. Even before my Cancer, my life had been agony. My mind was ravaged by its own cold existence, all this prison term cheated out of chemicals like serotonin. For most of my life I haven't known what peace, happiness, or sanity meant. I'm trapped in a region of existence that I can not escape from, and no matter how well I live, be it a billionaire or a homeless vagrant, my misery and angriness will be never lead me. That sadness had in time been twisted into hatred, the intuitive feeling of not belonging to any part of the world decaying into loathing for that world. hate is my only means of survival, the only alternative to wallowing in desperation. It hurts less to hate the creation around me than to want to be a part of it. It hurts less to hate others than to be starving for a connection.

But I don't want to be the cliché outsider who thinks that he knows respectable than everyone because he sees everything in a fag twinkle. Social concept and conventions always seem like a stupid waste of time to me, but I only think they're pudden-head because I'm incapable of enjoying them. While I always judge the people around me and detest them for being human being, I never think myself better than them. If anything, they are all skillful than me. I envy them all ; envy them for the sprightliness they get to experience, the mental stableness they get to love. Social lives, friendly relationship, romance, just the ability to mix within corporate and find joy and understanding… There are scholar down below me who are parts of something crowing, be it something as simple as a shoal lodge, but I'm simply not capable of being able to do that.

I looked at the tables surrounded by just lady friend. There was a time when I would get sold my soul to just find out a girl who would go out with me. In my heart, I knew that only love or destruction could contribute me pacification, and I had known it for eld. For close to a decade, I had been looking for my soul mate, the one lady friend who could pack away my hurting. At to the lowest degree, that's what I used to need. Now I knew it was too late.



I staggered through the hall, trying to retrieve from a seizure only a few moments'prior.

"Marcus, do you require to lecture ?"

I already knew who it was. Her name was Julia, and she was one of the few hoi polloi who were squeamish to me. Well, she used to be. I hadn't talked to her since sophomore class. She was kind and beautiful, and for a patch, I thought that I loved her. But then I learned that she had a boyfriend, and after that, I simply lost pursuit. Now I saw her simply as a nuisance, a monitor of the days of wishing I could be with her, no matter what the cost, Clarence Day when my pain in the ass and desperation were euphoria compared to my current agony.

"No."

"You need to utter to someone."

"No, I just need to get to class."

I spat out a taste of blood. The bleeding would always pop after every seizure.

"Why won't you look at me ?"she asked in desperation.

"Because I'm in pain ! I've been in painful sensation retentive before I got these tumors. I used to recall that either love or death could heal me, but I hate this earthly concern and everyone in it far too often to ever light in erotic love ! I'm already dead, I've been dead for as long as I can remember, but for some reasonableness, my body won't take the hint and croak, so I'm stuck in this wretched and agonizing bag of flesh and pearl, trapped in a world I despise and surrounded by a species that I pray would go extinct ! You've made it vindicated that you can not be the one to avail me, no one can. I can only get until my terrible cosmos rub itself out."

"Are you mad at me ? !"she asked defensively.

I turned around and walked away."No, I'm mad at fate. I'm mad at my own cursed universe. If you want to help me, then put a bullet in my head."



Wanting some fresh air and deciding it would be better not to chance having a ictus on the bus, I walked household. The weather wasn't too bad, and the cold helped ease my pain a footling, plus it gave me time alone with my thoughts, relinquish from distraction and noise. Walking along the ice-caked road with my hood tightened to keep my ears warm from the nose candy, I let my mind wander back to my dream. If what I had concluded about that star was right, then my dying truly was approaching and would soon conclude. Even if what Dr. Turner had said about my cancer not being terminus were correct, the side effects trusted would be. How long could the human physical structure truly last when forced to suffer endless torture ?

‘ Whether or not it is my admittedly death or not, until that time comes, this is how I must process through metre. Whether I will persist in to exist in some other sort is irrelevant, no mind can truly understand the meaning of demise or the weight it carries, therefor, it can not exist within our minds. We can not cover death, we can not understand it, not without experiencing it ourselves, at which point, we cease to exist. Therefor, death is uncomprehensible ; it is the end of all rationality, in which all human normal and presumptuousness become meaningless. We can only empathise things that exist, while we ourselves exist, so while we may revere end, it is inconceivable to suit mindful of it ourselves.

We can not palpate our own death, just as we can't tone nonexistence. We can look out others die, we can palpate our own aliveness slipping away, but we can not feel that concluding second. We can not know precisely when it ends. We can see a million masses die, but we can not see our own. It's like every single person is an immortal surrounded by individual, a continuing paradox of observation and ignorance. biography occupies the totality of our minds and our cosmos, it is infinity ; it is the endlessness. Death is the creation outside of infinity, the region beyond contention, in which beginning and end are one in the same.

If I can not find or detect the end of my life-time when it happens, then through my grass, it will never happen. I am god, and the merely way for my death to go on is for everything and naught to collide and end my universe. Or am I unseasonable ? Will I persist in to live beyond decease ? Will I live on, even while my physical structure rots in the ground ? Is there a life after this one ? Is it adept ? Is it speculative ?'



"Hey Marcus, want to act as chess ?"my brother Phil asked.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room, watching TV with a wet towel on my head. I had been feeling feverish all day. Phil was three old age youthful than me and had the Saami smuggled hair as I did, though his was cut shorter and he had a different bone structure. He and I had been playing cheat for years and he had never once beaten me. You could say it was the one activity we did as chum, and from what I guessed, this was his attack to try and distract me from my pain.

I shrugged."Yeah, sure."

Phil sat on the other end of the couch and the gameboard was set up. I kept my eyes focused mainly on the TV, looking at the instrument panel only when it was my twist. I had some difficulty moving the pieces ; my finger felt stiff and brittle.

"Phil, do you have intercourse where I could get some pot ?"I asked out of the blue.

"What ?"

"Come on, I know you're a freshman, but you've always been on the societal circuit. You must know someone who can trade me some weed."

"No, I don't hang around with masses like that."

I sighed again and continued to diddle. For once, Phil managed to gravel me, but it was a core out victory, especially with how quickly he won. I knocked over my king with a pawl of my tongue.

"well now, it looks like the old king is absolutely and the new Billie Jean King has risen. Long live the top executive,"I said dryly before getting up and leaving.



"Hey Marcus, what's up ?"my sister asked, surprised to see me standing in the threshold.

Emily was a year younger than me and a Junior. She had my mom's blonde hair, but it was immix with my dad's dark hair's-breadth gene.

"Do you know anyone at school who could sell me some pot ?"I asked, nearly scaring her with how blunt I was.

"What ? No ! And you shouldn't be smoking that stuff, it's bad for you !"

"Oh cut the cocksucker, Em ! It's goddamn Cannabis sativa, it's completely harmless and you know it !"

Emily's eyes darkened and we were both silent. I softened my tone before continuing."You know I wouldn't even bother with the poppycock under normal circumstances… but things have changed."

"Do you really think that material will facilitate you ?"

"I wouldn't believe it if it did. I'm just hoping that it can make affair easier. Come on, pot is probably the least dangerous thing I could put in my system these 24-hour interval and the government banning it is one of the most retarded things in the story humanity. It's a shtup works that makes people find good. Besides, let's say the anti-pot propaganda is lawful and it is bad for me, do you honestly think that I'll live long enough to face up the consequences ?"

"Marcus, you're not going to die,"she said softly, getting up from her bed and walking over to me.

"Emily, I'm already on borrowed time. The film is over, the mention are rolling, and Rotten Tomatoes gave it all negative reviews. I'm going to die soon, I know it, so just be a good sis and let me be a piffling selfish before I kick the bucket."

Emily sighed."Mike Broflovski, you can feel him under the football bleachers at school day. I don't know anything else about him."



I was lying in bed, staring at her longingly on another schoolhouse morning. With my heart fixed upon her hallucinatory physical body, the fire of agony within my body were silent, nearly making me sob rip of joy. It had been almost a minute since I had woken up and saw her open her eyes before falling back to catch some Z's, but for once, I managed to master my desire to try and touch her, and instead was letting the delusion continue, or whatever it could be called. She was sleeping, this girl who's name I did not eff, this beautiful angel conjured up by my brainsick soul. She was sleeping so peacefully that I wasn't sure I could ever get the best my guilt feelings if I disturbed her.

I could have lied in that warm bed for the residual of my life-time, just staring at her. With each breath she took, I could see her chest rising with the expansion of her lungs, and the flicker fibril of her blood-colored hair. The cover of my bed was barely wrapped around her beautiful flesh, letting me look upon almost her entire body. Piercing this real-world dream, my alarm clock began to beep. Knowing that it would mean her disappearance, I reluctantly reached out over her to turn it off. Even with the deactivation button pressed, the girl remained with my arm stretched out over her like a bridge. She had never stayed this hanker before, was the hallucination just growing in depth ? Would I finally be capable to touch her ? Humming in bliss, she opened her center and stared at me with a modest but odorous smile on her lips.

She spoke.

Her articulation was inaudible, but her lips parted and shaped the words with incomprehensible tutelage, like a master artificer sculpting a spinning the Great Compromiser pot with her helping hand. I had never been one for reading lips, the ability completely eluded me, but once, just this one time, I was able to learn the formation of the lyric like a hopeful neon sign, and hear them whispered in the nitty-gritty of my mind.

"I love you."

Three run-in, three simple discussion, but the weighting they carried pushed me over the border. Unable to harbor the rip of joy back any longer, I desperately reached out to embrace her, only for her to disappear before I could be blessed with her touch.



I stepped into the locker room of the school. It was time for gym class but I wouldn't be participating. My constant infliction was my permanent alibi. Why couldn't this cancer have kicked in when I was a freshman ? I stuffed my backpack in one of the footlocker and grabbed my pills.

"Why do you always cry when you fall down ?"

I already knew who it was and I was trying to stay fresh my blood from boiling. His name was Tom, and he was nothing but a punk and bully. He had tormented me all throughout eye and high up school, an extra force play driving me into economic crisis. He was probably one of the large reason as to why I wanted to die.

"Tom, leave him alone, he has Cancer the Crab,"another student warned.

"So ? Its not like I would cry if I had that,"Tom grunted before shoving me.

I turned to him, the pudgy psychopath.

"You're just a piteous little bitch."

In my intellect, something snapped. The ire, which had always been suppressed by the fear of consequences, finally broke free. Tom was bigger than I was, but I didn't care. Practically foaming at the mouth, I reached out with both hired hand and grabbed him by the pharynx, slamming him against the lockers. I was strangling him with all the strong suit I could gather in my sick body, using adrenaline to increase the top executive of my muscles. I had my quarter round pressed against the principal arteria in the side of his neck, halting the flow of blood to his mind while robbing him of the ability to emit. He couldn't focusing enough to use his implements of war to free himself. I would normally never retaliate like this, as I had learned early in life that the bullies always got off without a 1 smacking on the wrist but the victim who defended themselves basically got the chairperson. There was nothing that could be done but take the annoyance and hope your tormenter would eventually get bored. For what I was doing, I could easily get expelled, but not a ace part of me cared. If I was going to live a life of agony and die an early expiry, I might as well do whatever the fucking I wanted and get behind some bastards down with me.

"How about I correct some of the bull spewing out of that deformed pile of hoary matter you call a genius ? First of all, I don't fall down. I have goddamn capture. Second, the tumor in my mind are strangling my limbic system just like I'm strangling you, meaning that my brain is now incompetent of producing chemical substance that let me finger anything former than misery and anger. shoemaker's last but not least, when I have a capture, all of my Mary Jane are so overwhelmed with the pain that I collapse as I am bombarded by moving ridge of agony. I suffer every second, but when I have a capture, it makes being lit on ardor seem like a massage ! Have you ever been in so lots pain and wanted to die so bad that you almost used your own fingernails to slash your wrists ? I think anyone would throw off some crying if they experienced that."

Tom was turning blue from the choking and I had to fight down with everything I had to retain from murdering him good then and there in front man of everyone. Instead of ending his animation, I threw him down at the ground, inadvertently smashing his face against the niche of one of the locker way workbench. The wallop completely shattered his eye socket and fractured his skull. Another few centimeters and his eye would let been permanently lost. After he fell to the ground, I finished with a kick to the jaw, busting up almost one-half of his teeth. Tom was passed out on the floor and pouring profligate with everyone staring at me in fear.

I opened my bottle of hurting meds and took one out."That is just a sample of what I live with constantly."



Tom was rushed to the hospital and I was suspended for the rest of the month. Under normal circumstances, I would get been suspended for a full month or even expelled, but the punishment was lighter for several reasons. Tom had been the school bully ever since 6th grade and was nothing but a worthless punk. He treated everyone like shit and teasing someone with cancer was the worst thing anyone had ever seen. Everyone in the cabinet room testified against him and said that I had done what needed to be done long ago. I silently disagreed with them on that. What should have been done long ago was Tom being lined up in front of a firing squad and shot. I knew in the cover of my mind that everyone was testifying for me because of my genus Cancer, because everyone hated Tom, or because everyone now feared me. My judgment of conviction was also so lite because of the recent harm of learning of my disease.

My parents immediately picked me up from school. During the ride home, they constantly contradicted themselves. They would say how much trouble I was in and that what I did was wrong, then go back and say that Tom deserved it and what I did was reasonable. I didn't really care about being suspended, and Thanksgiving vacation would come a few week after I got back, letting me have got to a greater extent clock time to relax.



As the Clarence Shepard Day Jr. droned on, I spent my time watching repulsion movies. The lights would be turned off and I would laugh bitterly during every gruesome kill. Horror pic were one of the few thing that I didn't hate. The fact that I watched them in the dark on Friday and Sabbatum night, while most people were hanging out with friends made my parents nag nonstop about my social demeanor. They would differentiate me that I need to spend time friends, and I would say them that I didn't want friends.



"Who are you ?"I whispered, once again lying in bed and facing the fille of my pipe dream.

Ever since she had first spoken ( albeit while mute ), I had been hoping and wishing that whatever it was, be it a delusion or extrasensory upshot, whatever it was that allowed me to see her each good morning would give me the ability to interact with her even further. At the enquiry, she batted her eyes coyly and rolled onto her back, letting the pale light passing through my window shine down upon her nude soundbox. The girl looked at me, giving a sleepy smile as if waking up on a Lord's Day morning with nothing to do but doze.

"My name is…"

The name was spoken, entering my mind and drawing confusion. I repeated it, uttering the unexplainable dissonance even without understanding it. The noise was not a word, consonant, or vowel, it was like nothing found in nature or anything world had ever created, it could not be compared to anything. As soon as I heard it, I completely forgot it, but even with it slipping my memory, I was somehow able to reiterate the sound if I so desired. The daughter smiled as I said her name back to her, as if what she had told me and what I had said was her real gens, but my mind would not allow me to be aware of it.

"Who are you ?"I again asked.

The girl smiled and repeated her statement as well. This time, I instead focused on her voice. This was the showtime clip I had ever heard it, and it was more beautiful than I ever imagined. Clear as the chiming of a Melville Bell but soft as the coos of pigeons, the sound of the three speech preceding the blur that masked her name was like a lullaby.

"What are you ?"

break character, the young lady moved towards me, slowly yet suddenly, and nearly making me jump. She brought her face up to mine, our backtalk almost touching while we stared into each former's optic and exchanged the like breath.

"delay for me,"she murmured, pulling away and disappearing.



I stepped into the school on the kickoff of November, and it was as if clock time stopped upon my arrival. Everyone was standing like statues while staring at me with both fear and wonderment. With my usual stony scowl and gray hood pulled up, I took a painful sensation oral contraceptive pill and proceeded to my locker. I was walking with a limp, for I had suffered a gaining control in the shower earlier that break of day and banged my leg. My dad was now adding a safety rail in case of another seizure.

After I stopped off at my cabinet, people started bombarding me with questions as they had done on my showtime day back. They asked me to narrate them what happened in the locker room, even though the guy rope in there had already retold it a thousand times. They also asked me to reduplicate what I had said about my cancer, for that had been the initiatory time I had actually described it to someone. I just ignored all of the interrogative, acting like they weren't there. There was no reason to answer, even if it was just to be polite. They meant nothing to me, and once I graduated in the springtime, I would never see them again.



I was lying in bed, holding a junction the sizing of a cigar. I had bought all the weed I could off that mike guy and told him that he had better have more when I came back. If I was going to blow my savings on pot, I might as well get some customer service. I always had a few 60 minutes to myself after every schoolhouse day, my siblings would be hanging out with Friend or be playing sports and my parents would be at oeuvre, leaving me with the menage.

Lighting up one end of the spliff, I took a deep puff and immediately began coughing and hacking. Ok, maybe I should take it slower…



I began getting into more fights at school. Quite simply, I was done with the dogshit. If anyone insulted me, gave me lip, or got on my bad incline, I did not pause to hurl a punch. I was going to die soon so there was no intellect to return a fuck about anyone or anything I decided I might as well trade with old business organisation while I still had time. A lot of mass had made my life-time a nightmare and I was paying them back. I received my fair share of harm, I was often sporting a pitch blackness eye, busted lip, or bruised face, but as long as I didn't suffer a seizure during a conflict, I normally won. I guess that was one advantage of full-body endless infliction : your enemies can't do anything to make you hurt anymore than you already are.

The school tried to cut my actions, or at least punish me lightly. Each altercation earned me a couple Day suspension, but they didn't have the heart to go any farther. The school system and I had bad history, and they certainly had a lot to apologize for. My parents were the same, putting up a false strawman of execration while being ineffective to gain the bravery to punish me. They knew that I was self-destructing, acting out to try and cope with my pain. It was the only thing I could do.



It was the day before Thanksgiving Day and my congenator were expected to arrive in less than an hour. They all knew that I had genus Cancer and I was not looking forward to some sappy family reunion. I walked to the door and grabbed my coat."I'm going out for a walk."

"But everyone is going to be here in just a few minutes !"my mom called from the kitchen, working feverishly to make up a big dinner.

"Exactly. Could you do me a favor and tell them to act like I don't have cancer ?"

Before my mom could reply, I stepped outside and into the bitterness coldness. There was no wind, but the air was frigid and raw. The air was all the way, showing a blanch blue sky as the sun slowly drifted towards the horizon. The surrounding area was a mix of thick woods and marshy fields, the brownish landscape now painted white-hot. I started walking down the side of the road, not caring where it took me, even though I knew exactly where it led. The backbone and gravel on the side of the roar was filled with food waste, from beer bottles to void cigarette carton. The cars that drove past me hit me with a sudden breeze, like a last dying breath. The raw frosty air, the bleak landscape painting, the taunting drones of cars driving by, and the scrap around my feet was both comforting and depressing. The cold helped ease my chronic pain and the barren scenery made me find more at nursing home, but with each empty butt carton I kicked aside and each car that broke the silence, I was reminded of how solo I wanted to be and how much I couldn't be.

I soon arrived at the wooded parking lot down the road from my menage, but I wasn't ready to go home yet and I needed a shift from the cars and the road. There was no one else around ; even a penis of the most sulphurous and chaotic family unit would take to remain home plate rather than be subjected to this vitriolic low temperature and wind. I entered the forest, following the footprints of dogs and their proprietor, lightly covered by a sprinkle of reinvigorated Charles Percy Snow from the night before. As always, my thinking were on my own death rate, as I tried to enter out how much metre I had left. I should probably part making a will for when my body gives out and I at last reach death, but what did I want ?

I came to a stop, my eyes wide, my breathing shallow, staring at the animate being before me. Resting against a fallen tree to get out of the wind, a coyote lay on the frigidity dry land. Its chest heaved slowly, causing the dry blood around the bullet wound in its side to crack. Almost every Night, the prairie wolf could be heard yipping and howling in the uttermost reach of the woods, but this was the first time I had seen one up close. From the spirit of it, it had probably wandered onto individual's yard and the belongings owner shot it to make for certain no others came by. From the clotting, it had likely happened the previous night, but from the arrangement of combat injury, it was probably still bleeding internally and had organ damage. The fact that it had been capable to limp this far into the woods was a miracle.

I approached the wounded animal, slowly, but without fear. Right now, it was at its most dangerous, but what was the worst it could do to me ? Bite my hand ? I wasn't sure I'd even feel it. The prairie wolf looked up and gave a soft growl, but was too tired and inhuman to even testify its dentition. I crouched down before it and reached out. It tried to bite me, but its Fang missed and I managed to rest my hand on the top of its head. Knowing it could not keep the bluff up any longer, it laid its head back onto the cold ground and waited for death. I brought my hand to its bureau, feeling its do-or-die breaths and its feeble gist beating.

Too tired to move its head, the coyote shifted its gaze upwards, looking past me. I followed its eyes to the barren tree ramification above, contrasting against the evening's pink sky. For all I knew, this tool and I were thinking the same matter. Would I ever see honey oil leave on those branches again ? Or would this be my last winter ? Would I die, miserable and in pain sensation, or was there even a gleam of a chance for me to be my life without hiding from the human race ? Would the day ever come when I too can bask in the sun ?

Solemnly, I reached in my pocket and pulled out my Swiss Army tongue. I couldn't leave this fauna here to sustain. I had to put it out of its misery. I folded out the tongue and put the tip to the cover of the coyote's spine. I hesitated, spending another minute looking into its eyes and feeling its trunk tremble. I had never killed an animal before, not counting the one or two mice I had run over when I was learning to drive, but this matter was much giving than they were.

"You and I are exactly the same. The solely differences are that you probably want to hold living… and I wish person would be merciful enough to do this to me."

Taking a trench breath, I forced the brand into its cervix, severing the nerves as best as I could. Its trunk gave the minuscule twitch and then everything became still and its eyes closed. I stayed there a little while yearner, feeling the heat slowly leak from its torso. I reached behind it into the crater of dirt of the root out tree diagram and grasped a pocket-sized handful of icy soil. I rubbed it between my deal, letting it thaw so that the smell of the nutrients could drop away free. I stared at the dirt, moving it around to furcate the minerals from the decaying matter, and then sprinkled it on the slain creature. Soon, I would die, just like this coyote, and I would return to the earth, just like everything else. For the foremost meter in a prospicient spell, I actually smiled, knowing what I wanted. I wanted to be buried, but without a casket, and certainly without being embalmed. I wanted to embrace my death, not hide from it in a pine box while noxious chemicals maintain me from rotting. I wanted to experience the soil on my cheek, to be enveloped by the dry land, and maybe have a Tree planted over my grave. At least then, the dirt ball and the plants would get more use out of my body than I ever did.

I wiped my hands off on the Canis latrans's fur and then stood up. It was meter to go home.



I stepped through the front doorway of my nursing home and was instantly bombarded by hugs and greetings from my relatives : first cousin, auntie, uncles, grandparents, and everyone else. I could sense the gracelessness underneath their watchword as they asked how tall I was and all of the other cliché inquisitions.

"dinner party is prepare !"I heard my mom call from the kitchen.

I had no appetite.

"I'm just going to go to bed."

Before anyone could even try to hold on me, I went up the stairs and into my room. I moved to my bed, wincing as my brawn became more and more sore. I lied down and let my aching body settle.

"Please, just let me slumber and not wake up."



"Why can't I hear your gens ?"I asked, speaking to the girl while the hallucination would let me.

Having already gone through the recorded drift and activeness, the girl opened her middle and gazed at me with her usual tender grinning, while almost laughing in a gentle hum.

"Are you even genuine ?"

"Does it matter if I am real or not ?"

Hearing her speak warmed my marrow with the possibility that maybe she wasn't just a figment of my imagination."Yes, no… I'm not sure."

The girl then moved closer to me, closing the gap between us and reducing it to a few intolerable inches."If I don't exist, if I am just a creation of your own mind, then you should be happy. If it is you who created me, then I am always with you. I am wherever you want me to be and you just have to wish it."

I put my hand over my typeface and rolled onto my back, having suddenly felt my oculus watering up. Every word that passed from between her beautiful sass was a seismic disturbance to my very soul, like the ending of a beautiful book.

"No, that's not good enough. I need you with me. I need you to be very. I don't know why, I just need—"

I was silenced, my hale body brought to a complete stop by the sensation of the girl tilt over and pressing her sassing against my own. I moved my hand away from my eyes, in complete and utter disbelief. This was the initiatory time I had ever been able-bodied to touch her, and that first touch was expressed through my first kiss. Her face, so close to mine, I could see every single contingent of her smiler and saturate myself with her rosy perfume. The sense of her lips against mine, it went beyond just canceling out my pain, it made me feel… serious. I felt happy, euphoric, like I had just been working for three Clarence Shepard Day Jr. straight and was settling into a hot tub. Her mouth were so soft and warm, but also carrying a pacify tone. It was like I was kissing a wisp of steam from a cup of tea.

The girl eventually broke the connection and we stared into each former's centre. She then sat up and moved on top of me, her hands pushing down on my shoulder and her long crimson hair hanging down around our faces like a curtain, seceding the blank between us from the outside world and making it all our own. Staring at her full breasts and feeling the fluid lips of her cunt rub up against the shaft of my hardening penis ( with only the fabric of my bagger separating them ) was driving me wild with hormonal lecherousness.

In all honestness, I hadn't been this aroused in months, I could literally experience the blood line pumping furiously through my dead body and firing up the long-dormant role of my brain that I had ignored for so long. But beyond her stunner, beyond her naked consistency resting on mine and making me horny than ever in my life sentence, the gravid notion was her weight on me. It was real. I could feel her pushing down on my shoulders, sitting on my lap. I could even get wind the springs of my mattress creak beneath us. This weight was real, it had to be, and that meant she was real.

"You need me to be real because you need to believe that there is some prospect of this existence that can piddle you glad, that there is at least one someone who can take away your pain. But if I am just a creation of your own mind, then you should be overjoyed. It means that you hold the key to your own happiness, and wherever you live, no matter how you live, you can make it paradise."

The words were whispered and her face was lit with attender aid and dear. The young lady then leaned down and settled herself on top of me like a cat, her chest pressed against mine and her face buried in the side of my neck. Her trunk, it was so warm and cushy, I was completely at a exit for words on how to describe it. All I could do was wind my blazon around her womanly frame, hold her taut, and cry rip of joy. I didn't forethought, substantial or not, she was here with me, and that was all that mattered. Whether she was some sort of angel from Eden or just a figment of my vision, as long as she was with me, I'd be happy.

"Marcus, derive on, it's time to wake up. You've been in bed for too long,"my mom said, knocking on the doorway.

At the sound of the doorknob palpitation, I turned with fear in my oculus."No, don't. Please, not yet."

The handle was fully turned, and just as the doorway began to displace, the girl disappeared, leaving me alone once again. My mom just stood in the threshold, looking at me and wondering why I was crying.



Even if my dreams had now reached new point of depth and I could interact with the girl more than I had ever hoped, that didn't service my everyday routine. In fact, it made it risky. Spending every second longing to go back home and go to bed so that I could wake up beside that girl, my life became even more miserable. Everything that made my day difficult became horrible, and everything that had never bothered me before was now a curse, as it required clock time and stood in my way. Add that to my continuous pain and my multiple daily capture, and each day went from being an endless inferno to a taunting loss of the one light in my hellish aliveness.

Such lively contact like that particular night before was uncommon and not often repeated. The girl still appeared every sunup for a few mo, but I could rarely do anything more than than touch her gently with my hand. Going further would make her to disappear. She never spoke much, only when I said something to her or asked her questions, and even then, her response were dewy-eyed and often repeated. Regardless, just waking up next to her each morning was enough to get me through the day, but barely.

While my visual sensation of the girl seemed to mature, every Night, I dreamt about that star, the star being devoured by the grim hole in its core, the superstar sitting in a nebula looking like the eye of God. I could feel myself drawing closer and closer to the smutty jam in the gist, being pulled in towards my destruction. The closer I got, the larger the celestial mass became, surpassing my man comprehension. Yet strangely, after that Night, while my increasing proximity continue to expand my view of the star around it, the black mess was actually shrinking like a contracting student. It was as if the disastrous hole was sizing itself to correspond with my space from it.

December was exceptionally rough in, quite simply because I had decided to try chemo and radiation sickness handling for my cancer. Well, to be reliable, my parents basically coerced me into doing it and making me feel guilty if I refused. They wanted me to experience no affair what, so the only way to throw off their suspicions that I was eagerly awaiting death was to feint hopelessness and fear towards the treatment. I eventually agreed to intervention under one condition : if I didn't see any final result before New Year's or I started losing my hair, I was going to fall by the wayside. I didn't have high prospect, but I would do it to get my parents off my back.

On my first day of chemotherapy, I found myself in a room with other Crab patients, all sitting in chairs lining the walls. Each one was hooked up to an IV, and their stagecoach of discourse were all visible on their emaciating consistence. Considering the time it took for each seance, everyone had methods of keeping boredom at bay. There were laptop computer, handheld game consoles, Word of God, and one of the kids was even playing with a Rubik's Cube. I sat by the windowpane, letting the poison run through my vena. I was also receiving a heavily dose of morphia, helping to blunt some of my botheration. Hopefully I wouldn't have a seizure in the infirmary. The cobbler's last thing I needed was some intern right out of med shoal sticking a tube down my throat.

Drowsy from the drugs running through me, I let my psyche wander. My cerebration drifted back to the fille and what she had told me. She said that if she wasn't real, if she was just a figment of my imagination, then I could anticipate on her whenever I needed. Maybe it was something I should try. I closed my optic, forcing aside all misdirection and sensory faculty. I focused my mind on the girl, but was unsure of what would actually institute her forth. If I just thought about her, would she appear in this elbow room with me ? Should I try and fall asleep and ambition about her ?

Slowly the strait of the other patient role faded, the world falling silent around me. But I was not alone. I felt soul gently grasp my hired man and opened my eyes, staring into the beautiful blues of the young woman. She was kneeling at my fundament, naked as always. Behind her, the chemotherapy room had blurred into an unrecognisable collage, as if I was falling out of sync with reality.

"Marcus, my darling cherubic Marcus…"she whispered, resting her head on my lap.

I slowly reached out and order my mitt on the top of her head, stroking her fuzz."You're really here,"I gasped in amazement.

"Of course I'm here ; I'm always with you. Marcus, I'm so lofty of you, for everything you've endured. Your patience will be rewarded, I promise you. Just hold on and I will bring you happiness."

"What am I supposed to wait for ?"

"The day when our souls can finally attain convergence."

I then jerked in my electric chair, having been awoken by the nursemaid. I had slept through the treatment.



Christmas and New twelvemonth's came and went, and I was felicitous to see them go. I hated the holidays ; all of the cheerfulness and happiness made my organs fail. With the start of the New Year, I had the medico check my term and see if any progress had been made on my tumors. After a month of radiation and chemo, I had figured at least a svelte change would be found. No. There was nothing. They had resisted the treatment and I was stuck where I was.



Each day, my nuisance was getting worsened, and I found myself taking more and Sir Thomas More pills than I was supposed to, both painkillers and anti-convulsion meds in an attempt to curb my seizures. Originally, I would remove two painkillers every four 60 minutes and one anti-convulsion med every six, but now I was downing them like tic tacs. My body was weakening, but in a way, that was a good affair. I was close, so close. Soon I could stay in peace.



"Twenty buck for a STD, and I'll give you an spare ten for a clean needle and to help me set up. My hands are too shaky for something like this,"I said, standing in an back street in Ithiel Town.

The sky above was gray with a gentle snowfall pouring down on the dealer and I. Luckily, the café to our right kept us out of the breaking wind. The man before me looked to be in his belatedly twenties, unshaven with deep misgiving in his eyes. I was a new customer to him, and normally he would let turned me away on instinct, but luckily I looked sick enough to go by for a enured user.

"Let me see your hands."

I held them up, letting him see them tremble. With every nerve ending in my fingers firing, my handwriting were shaking so badly that it looked like I had MS.

"Alright, mulct. You're in luck, kid. I just got some make new syringes yesterday and I've got one left."

He looked around to do indisputable we wouldn't be seen and then took out his ware. Filling up a spoonful with heroin, he clenched the handle with his teeth and used his script to hold a lighter and protect the fire from the flatus. Slowly the pulverization melted into its melted form, and before it could cool, he unwrapped an unused syringe and filled it with the drug, finish by handing it to me in commutation for the Johnny Cash.

"Tch, destiny. If luck were on my side today, this phonograph needle would end up killing me."

With the dealer leaving, I sat down on the cold wet ground, pulling up my sleeve and looking for a vena. It certainly wasn't hard ; my pelt was as lean as paper and my arteries were all swollen from malnutrition and the strain of my disease. I pushed the needle into my arm, not even feeling it amongst the billions of other painful scratch tormenting my body. I hesitated with my thumb on the plumber's helper, wondering if this was really the path to take. My life sentence was already cut shortstop and the chances of there being a cure for my pain in the ass were slim, but did I really want to further loading myself with even a single injection of this toxin and risk developing an addiction ? After all, the pot had been a dark loser. What fortune did heroin have of helping me ? I concluded my waver with a gag, deciding I didn't have lots to lose.

I pushed down onto the plunger, filling my bloodstream with the poison. Casting the evacuate syringe aside, I leaned my caput back and stared up into the snow, waiting for the drug to take affect. Could I possibly be any more pathetic ? Sitting in a rear alley with heroin running through my vein, trying desperately to unfreeze myself for just a few moments from my disease… It was beyond pitiful ; it was shameful. But soon, the drug began to take away effect, numbing my senses and bringing down my painful sensation to a dense throbbing while leaving my brain spinning. Waiting for this dark miracle to truly free me from my suffering, I stared back up into the gray sky and let my mind wander.

Is there a god ? I ask myself that question often, but of course, so does everybody. I don't know if I am a believer, an atheist, or just an agnostic. I see no reason in the world, no meaning, no figure behind the pandemonium former than the figure humans try to create. Is there a use in any existence ? Even mine ? Was I created with this body simply to support ? Was I created and then abandoned, never cared about by whatever deity might deliver cursed me with biography ? Was all of mankind created to suffer or was it created and then abandoned ? There is so a great deal pain in the world, so much suffering beyond my own. What kind of deform god would put us on this ground to go as the detestation that we are, caught in evolutionary limbo ? Would our creator not also be our parent ? Shouldn't they try and protect us from trauma ? Are we merely entertainment ? A TV show for more in advance life shape ? Or are we little more than a bacterium Colony growing on a cast-off test tube, created by chance event and never acknowledged ?

What use is there of a god in this human world ? Either he doesn't exist, doesn't fear, or is he a sick junky that loves to create life sentence solely to toy with it. People waste their lives praying and begging to some bastard in the sky to change their lifespan, all the while trampling under everyone beneath them and casting sagacity upon those who walk unlike paths. But for judging them, am I no better ? Do I have any right to speak badly of the great unwashed when I too am cursed with this pitiable man consistency ? How can I condemn others for being judgmental when it means being judgmental of them ?

I guess that's one of the main problems of this reality : no one can create change without doing exactly what their opposition is doing. Whether it is trying to stop a genocide or get a measure passed through coition, every standpoint is just a repeat of its run out predecessor. Everyone thinks they know what's best, they think they have the key to saving the domain or that they have seen the Sojourner Truth that no one else has so much as caught a coup d'oeil of. All the same mistakes are just made over and over again, all the Sami promises spoken and never fulfilled, all the flaw of others pointed out by those who are nothing Thomas More than hypocrites. If this lifetime really is the employment of a god, then he is a sadistic god, a life where the grandiloquent societal structure is cypher more than than a slew of rubble, a mess of failures all stacked up on top of each early with no one capable of escaping their mantle.

I don't know if there is a god, I'm not trusted whether or not I want there to be a god. If there isn't a god, then all this is nonmeaningful and there is nothing for us in this world but a quick lifespan, an ineluctable end, and an timeless existence in which no one remembers us. If there is a god, then he is either incompetent or iniquity, in which case, I want nothing to do with him other then a chance to pay him back for creating me. What am I ? A believer ? An atheist ? An agnostic ? What is the name for someone whose belief in God is aught more than the desire to kill him ?

"Marcus, I'm cold."

I looked over, seeing the girl sitting future to me, her tidy skin contrasting against the brick paries and the snow-covered pavement. She looked at me with drab optic, pained by the circumstance I was in and how desperate I was.

"Do you even feel things like the coldness ?"I asked, more bitterly than I meant.

"I feel them because you feel them. You are my connexion to this world, just like I am yours. We are bound."

I got to my feet, struggling to maintain my Libra the Balance."I'm sorry you're bound to someone as pathetic as me."

"You are not misfortunate. You are despairing, you are in pain, and you are starved of love."

"Who could ever jazz someone as broken as me ?"

"I do. Marcus, of all the people in the macrocosm, I am the one that you have nil to hide from."

She stood up and leaned against me, her weaponry wrapped tightly around my cervix. I could actually find her, feel her fondness.

"You'll never have to put yourself down, never say you don't merit me, never have to feel shame or embarrassment. Every single aspect of your animation, of your personality, of your soul, I love with all my heart. Marcus, I accept you. I accept you for everything you are. Now please, let's go dwelling. I don't want you to beguile a cold."



It was morning, and I was getting cook for school with my family in the kitchen. In my hired hand was a mound of tablet, one that I stared at loathingly. annoyance killer whale, anti-convulsion meds, pedigree thickeners to keep my inner bleeding from going out of ascendancy, antidepressant, and countless vitamin appurtenance to help me get some nourishment. With constant pain wracking my consistence, I rarely noticed my appetency, and any food that I did eat was often thrown up during my seizures, so lozenge were the only way to cause certain I got the nutrient I needed. I was always on the husky side, but after so many weeks of this painful sensation, I had burned through all of my fat military reserve and was little more than tegument and bones. Hoping that I wouldn't just puke them up later, I poured the pills into my mouth and forced them into my gut with a glass of water. clock time to protrude a new day.



"We're so finale now."

My eyes bolted spread and I quickly realized that I couldn't move. The little girl, the girlfriend who's public figure I did not know, her voicelessness had woken me up. Never before had this happened, and even more, she was sitting on my lap again, almost pinning me down. The sun had not yet risen. It was barely after 2:00 am.

"What ?"I asked, certain I was still dreaming.

With a warm smile, she leaned down and gently kissed me."We are so close now. We can let the cat out of the bag, we can touch… we can kiss. I can feel you and you can feel me, the time has almost come. Just wait a little longer."

"What has almost come ?"

"Happiness,"she purred lovingly while sitting back up.

I sat up with her, wrapping my arms around her and resting my brow against her chest. The diffused warmth of her handsome bosom against my grimace was a sexual nirvana, coercing my dick into a pulse erection.

"Why can't I hear your name ?"

The red-haired beauty giggled and gently pushed me back down, hovering over me on all quaternion."Because you have not yet named me."

"What do you think ?"

"You must refer me, so that I may exist solely for you, so that I may bring you happiness and facilitate your suffering. Then when you regain the will to hold up, you will exist solely for me, and this world will become paradise for all the days of our lives."

"But don't you exist already ?"

"Why don't you touch me and resolve for yourself ?"she suggested coyly.

I smiled, feeling my horniness and excitement light touch away my weariness. Raising my right deal, I reached up and cupped one of her breasts, sending an indocile shiver through my dead body and causing some pre-cum to dampen my drawers

"I didn't know you were such a pervert. How spicy,"she murmured, closing her eyes and humming to herself blissfully with a small smiling.

I was smiling as well, massaging the orb of flesh with both precaution and rarity, having never felt a miss's titty before. I began massaging the other one with my left wing bridge player, rubbing the mammilla with my thumb and causing the miss's Al Faran to increase in volume. Jiggling them, squeezing them, and rubbing them together, I thoroughly explored every secret her womanhood held and familiarized myself with every single centimeter of her easy skin.

"It feels so sound to sustain you relate me,"she panted as I began toying with her nipples, gently squeezing them between my indicator and mediate digit and rubbing them with my thumbs.

"You certainly feel real,"I said, well-chosen than I had been in years.

"wellspring to be for certain, how about a taste ?"she offered, lowering herself down and kissing me.

Following the Pb of her back talk, her tongue slipped into my mouth with unbelievable duration. I almost felt like I was going to choke on it. Her mouth and natural language, they were so delicious, and the wetting agent the kiss became, the more of her nip I was able to sample. She tasted like ripe mangos and tea and the thirster I tasted her, the more arouse I felt.

After several minutes of kissing, the little girl pulled her lips from mine and smiled."My body is so hot right now, can you cool me off ?"

I smiled and raised my promontory, kissing her first on the face, then down the side of her cervix, and to her collarbone. As I slowly moved down, the missy slipped her workforce into my boxers and grasped my cock, nearly making me cum correct then and there simply from the wizard of having individual else rival it.

"Just as I thought, it's sized just for me,"she hummed, lovingly stroking it while my lips finally came to her breasts.

shaking like a drug addict, I was barely able to contain my sexual thirst. All these years, my hatred and clinical depression had made my instinctive cause little more than a tedious irritation, but now, it was like it was all rushing out at once. I ran my tongue across her tit, unable to trust how good they felt and tasted, and just that I was making such intimate contact with this unknown entity.

"Be as rough or as appease as you want, I belong to you after all,"she said tenderly.

At her words, my emotions suddenly flared up and appease my instinctive desire. This girl, whether she was real or a delusion, I did not care. I loved her, she was precious to me, and I could not injure her even if she asked me to. I was retard, aristocratical, working my lips around each mammilla and stopping periodically to massage her breasts with my tongue. While I worked, she rubbed her smooth slit against the shaft of my stopcock. It was so soft, already soaking wet from her rousing and making me dizzy with the scented aroma.

"Such a elementary skin senses, yet it feels so unspoilt. To be so closelipped to you, I feel like I'm going to faint in happiness,"she cooed.

As her movements became more fast-growing and the mollify detrition became passionate grinding, I reached out and held onto her shapely ass with my hands. So soft and yet so firm, both full and taut, she had the ass of a Brazilian model. All this stimulation, it was too much, I could feel all the muscleman in my lower dead body tensing up from my approaching orgasm.

"I feel it, Marcus. I'm about to cum."

"Me too,"I murmured, wishing I could be inside her instead of just grinding against the entrance.

Gyrating her hips, the fille's move increased until it actually felt like I had penetrated her. We finally came at the same time, me launching about a shooter glass'Worth of seed onto my abdomen and fresh lustre of wetness coating the girl's muliebrity. At the look of ecstasy, I gave a deep oink and the girl gave a shrill and rather adorable whimper before she collapsed on top me.

"We're so close, we can already bring each other happiness."

"Any chance we could guide it a whole tone further ?"I asked, placing my mitt on the slope of her face and brushing aside her prospicient carmine hair.

"No. Close as we are, we can not yet bond ourselves in that way. Only when we both live will we be able to create sprightliness for ourselves. Soon, we will be able to give each other and ourselves everlasting euphory. delay for me."

"But I don't know what I'm waiting for… And I don't know if I can wait much longer. Every day, my ability to endure this pain lessens. I'm losing my signified of touch, my quite a little and hearing are failing, and my eubstance is wasting away because I can not take hold food down. I just want to die. I just want it all to stop. If I end it all, then I can expend eternity with you."

The girl lowered her capitulum and kissed me, brushing aside my awe."We will spend all of eternity together, but wouldn't that eternity think even More if it also meant a lifetime ? Just wait, and I will turn this realm into heaven for you. Here, let me give you something, something to agree you over until our day comes."

grinning, she moved down to my deflating manhood. Lowering her head, she began licking up the semen I had ejaculated just a second ago, humming in joy like it was chocolate syrup. Watching her tongue lap up my seeded player, I felt my rooster re-harden, which she lovingly stroked with her hand.

After licking up every drop, she held her brain just above my manhood, stroking it with her hand and working out any gentleness."Now, let me play you happiness."

She then took the unanimous thing into her mouth, swallowing it with ease and bringing her lips all the way down to the base. At both the sight and feeling of her sucking me off, I immediately had my moment orgasm and guess a Elvis of semen down her pharynx. The girlfriend quickly pulled her headland back and coughed, but before I could rationalise, she smiled.

"Don't worry, it's fine. only try and hold back a little, let me savour this too. Besides, it's delicious,"she said coyly.

Holding back ? Scheol, that was easy, I doubt I had any sperm left wing to unloose, but with her hired hand stroking my tool and that hungry facial expression on her face, I couldn't lose my erecting if I wanted to.

delivery her head back down, the girl resumed blowing me, but this prison term taking it slacken. She started simply by running her tongue around the head, licking away any sperm cell that remained from my first or second coming. She then moved to the gibe, delivering long blanket expanse, almost tracing each vein and sending thrill up my spine. After physically memorizing every detail of my cock, the lady friend again wrapped her oral fissure around it completely, bringing her principal down so the tip was crammed against the back of her pharynx. Moving each metre with an upward flection, she began bobbing her head with a steady rhythm, massaging my dick with her tongue and cheeks while her saliva dripped down into my lap.

As she worked, I watched with a smiling and gently stroked her hair and brushed my finger's breadth against her buttock, trying to transmit my gratitude without interrupting her. Through her elbow grease, I could feel my organic structure working up the strength for one last climax. It would probably be a dry fire, but it would be no less right. Sucking on my putz like it was the husk in a particularly stocky shake, the fille broke through the last threshold I needed and I finally came, spraying every last free fall of semen I had into her rima oris and on her cheek when she finally released it.

I laid my mind back, completely drained of both Department of Energy and cum. After swallowing all of my cum and cleaning it off her typeface, the girl sat on my lap and ran her fingers through my hair."Name me, so that I may live solely for you, so that I may bring you felicity and allay your agony. Then when you regain the will to live, you will survive solely for me, and this world will become paradise for all the days of our lives."

She kissed me on the forehead, the tone of her lips being the last sensation as I fell back to kip.





Chapter 2



For the succeeding several daytime, I tried thinking up names for the female child in my dreams, but none seemed to fit. Actually, it was like my mind wouldn't accept and discern what I picked to be her name. I would think up a name, and when I'd try to say it while imagining the girl and associating her with it, the gens would suddenly go inaudible to me. I would see that sound from my dreams, the muffling phone that always blocked out her public figure, even when I spoke it. I could feel my sassing shaping the Scripture and my vocal cords shaking to create the audio, but I could never hear it when I spoke it.

As always, my meetings with the lady friend were much less calm and platonic than that sorcerous night. I would wake up, we would spill the beans a lilliputian, and sometimes I would be able to wrap my arm around her and hold her for a few instant, but it never advanced by that.



I was standing in the boy's privy at school, muttering curses in front of the urinal. I had been there for More than five hour and I needed to micturate like a truck driver, but I couldn't even get around the seal.

"Goddammit, I don't need another wellness issuance. Just piss already."

I finally groaned as the reserves were released, but as soon as I looked down into the urinal and saw the color red, I gritted my teeth and began to shake in frustration. After finishing my answer to nature's call, I walked over to the cesspool and leaned against it, trembling from head to toe.

"SON OF A kick !"I roared, punching the nearby wall and splitting my knuckles.

With my deal haemorrhage, I walked out of the bathroom and back to class, where a math run was being taken. Returning to my desk, I began stuffing my things into my bag, splattering blood from my hired hand and murmur curses.

"Marcus, is something faulty ?"the teacher asked from her desk.

"I need to leave, I need to get to the hospital. It seems my kidneys are now failing."



I was with my parents in Dr. food turner's authority, who was looking over the resolution from my blood trial. With a sigh, she closed the folder.

"The dependable news is that the wrong isn't perm, at least at this degree. The bad newsworthiness is that the kidney nonstarter was caused by highly excessive anovulant usage. We originally had you set at the maximum possible level ; did you think you could go even further without consequences ? Just the figure of pain in the neck killers alone you're taking are enough to obliterate you, add in the anti-convulsion meds, the blood thickener, and everything else, and it's a miracle you're still alive."

"Right, so I should just get on my knees and thank God that I'm not dead yet, I should just be grateful that I get to save living each day with incessant agony and mind-tearing seizure,"I muttered, keeping my face downcast with my strong-armer over my eyes.

My parents looked at each other in both nervousness and fear, wishing that there were something they could do.

"I'm afraid that you're going to take in to commence cutting down on your medication if you don't want to go along puddle blood. You may even bear to give up frigid turkey until your immunity wears off so that when you resume taking them, they'll be affective once again. If you keep going at those pills the way you have been, your kidneys will become completely unusable and you'll need a transplantation, and considering your disease and your drug habits beyond anovulant, no transplant committee will let you so much as facial expression at a salubrious donor."

"Beyond oral contraceptive ? Marcus, what is she talking about ?"my mom asked desperately.

"Last week… I tried heroine. It was just once and it didn't oeuvre as well as I had hoped. I certainly don't feel any cravings for it."

"Marcus, are you crazy ? ! After everything you've been told about drugs and after all the times we've warned you about their peril, you would resort to using heroine ?"my dad exclaimed, more distressed and despairing than tempestuous at me.

"wellspring it's not like my lifetime can get any sorry !"I yelled before getting up and storming out of the office.



In the weeks that passed, my parents tried to limit the amount of pills I took, but it was just as difficult for them as it was for me, because just by looking at me, they could tell how badly I needed them. As expected, my pain increased, as well as the intensity and frequence of my seizures. I stopped sleeping, ineffective to ever calm myself down enough to relax. As January moved onto February, I finally gave in and relinquish taking my MEd, allowing my physical structure to work the chemical out of my arrangement and mislay its rise immunity.

I spent that hellish workweek at house in bed, howling at the top of my lungs while the bit ticked by with sadistic backwardness. Without anything to even muffle the full stimulation of all my pain in the ass sense organ, my body was essentially ripping itself apart from the inside out. I couldn't even tell when I was having a seizure or not, it just all felt the Lapplander. Every minute, I felt like my build was being shredded away by flaming chainsaws while twin lobotomies were performed on my brain with jagged icicles.

My parents had to stay home from workplace to convey care of me, as I could not go to the bathroom or feed myself. They could do naught but sit by my bed and listen to me scream, always trying to cerebrate of a way to serve me. They tried to stomach it, ineffectual to ask my piffling brother or older sister to bet after me without feeling any to a greater extent guilt trip than they already were. For daytime, my sentiency of meter blurred. I was unable to assure night from day, hot from cold, or dream from reality. When I was awake, I often hallucinated, and the but times I ever slept were when I finally managed to pass out from pain or exhaustion, and even then, it never lasted longer than an hour.



lying in bed, in the throws of a ictus, I felt a abstruse thud in my dresser, as if my heart had just slammed against my ribcage. My exertion became clammy and I began to fall behind my ascendance over my tree branch. Barely able to breathe from the pain already surging through me, I felt a irregular powerful thud in my chest. I could smell my heartbeat, hear it pounding in my capitulum, and feel the loss of rhythm. My heart was struggling to preserve beating, unable to conduct the line any longer. Neither of my parents was in the elbow room and I couldn't cry them, my lungs refusing to work.

‘ Is this it ? Will I finally die ?'

My heart at final stage stopped, but instead of closing my eyes, I continued to stare upwards, watching as the cap of my bedroom vanished to reveal the eye of God, spinning smash. My bed disappeared beneath me, my room following suit to reveal the vastness of space. I was so close to the celestial nexus that I could almost see the individual tongues of flame in the typhoon surrounding the bleak yap pupil. The star occupied the full horizon, as if slit realness in half so that one position was the wickedness cosmos and the early side was the sea of nuclear fire. I was about a klick from the surface of the total darkness hole, which had shrunk down to the sizing of a ten-story building.

‘ So close… I'm so close…'I thought, desperately reaching out to be accepted into desired oblivion.

The wearing apparel I had been wearing were vaporized from my trunk, signaling my end tie-up to the rattling world being severed. But answering my silent call option, the girl from my hallucination appeared, flying out of the Shirley Temple Black hole towards me, arms outstretched, teardrop in her heart. She slowed as she reached me, coming to a stop before gently embracing me and holding me close with our unclothed trunk pressed together.

"Marcus, I'm sorry, I'm so pitiful. I know how a good deal you're suffering, I know how much pain you are in,"she whimpered, crying with her cheek buried in the side of meat of my neck opening.

She then looked up at me, her blue eye trembling."But it is not your time to die yet, just a little farseeing. Please, pet, keep on just a little longer, for me."

I tried to say her name, but once again, only the indecipherable dissonance was heard. In response, the girl smiled and wiped away her tears. Wrapping her weaponry around my neck opening, she leaned forward and kissed me."I love you, Marcus. With all my heart, I love you. This is the most selfish thing I will ever ask of you, but please, live on ! Please, you must wait just a little longer ! Go house, Marcus, it is time for you to go home. You still have to name me, remember ?"

She then separated from me, pushing me away. The mo her bridge player touched my pectus, a ace powerful wink rocked me to my center, causing cracks of light to flash across my imaginativeness as if realness itself was fracturing. I reached out to her, trying to call her name while a second beat of my centre sent more cranny through the fabric of space.

The young woman floated back towards the eye of God, tears rolling down her cheeks but a smile on her face."I love you,"she murmured.

A third beat of my bosom broke the cosmic vision and I woke up, back in my bed with my arm raised, still trying to make inter-group communication with the angel. My heart had resumed beating, albeit slowly. While it surely would not final stage, my pain had all but disappeared. Just as she had, I too began to cry, letting my arm drib and hide my face.

"I love you too."



Eventually, I was able to resume taking my medicament, and it was hard for me not to immerse every lozenge I could get my hands on. I'll admit, they certainly took the edge off, but I had already made up my brain. I was done. I didn't know why the girl wanted me to hold off, but I couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't handle living any longer.



It was February holiday and a winter storm was howling extraneous. The blizzard had been going for almost three days and power had quickly been lost. The house was dark, the merely light coming from the eerie gray aureole passing through the Windows. My syndicate had gone to a Quaker's home to enjoy their electricity and hunt body of water, while I had chosen to stay home base. I wanted to be alone for this. I sat at my desk in my room with a glass of water and a pile of pills next to me. They were sleeping contraceptive pill, painkillers, and everything else I had. I was slowly writing a suicide short letter, trying to use my expert calligraphy. I included the instructions for my funeral and how I wanted to be buried. I finally put down the pen. My hands were almost always trembling, but now they were finally steady.

"adios pain sensation,"I said before I took a handful of pills and swallowed them, followed by the remainders.

I then moved over to my bed and lied down, staring at the roof and contemplated my life while I waited for dying to arrive. It really had been a ugly life history. Maybe I would finally see what succour was in dying, but considering my luck, I would probably just end up vomiting the lozenge and surviving. In time, I could feel my body becoming heavier, my pain dulling, and my mind slowing down. I was almost there, so close. Closing my center, I whispered one final goodbye and apology.



I was hovering in front of the fatal hole, still eating the star from the inside out. The black hollow itself was now only about the size of a toolshed. The solid mass looked less like an eye now and more like gargantuan maelstrom, with a holographic black orb in the center, hiding the true heart of the quantum singularity. I was a hundred foundation away from the surface of the black hole and the lady friend from my dreams was hovering in front of me. The two of us were naked, and while she was smiling, her grinning was sad and there were bust running down her face.

"So, you couldn't wait. I hold nix against you for it ; it's impossible that anyone could even final half as long as you did. I'm so proud of you, Marcus. Your will is unparalleled."

"What's going on ?"I asked as she and I were pulled closer and closer to the star-eating black hole.

"We are moving onwards into eternity. It's a shame, it was my dream for us to live our lives happily and together, but as long as we have each other in this perpetual region, I have no complaints."

"delay, what do you think of ?"

I reached out and tried to grab her hand, even though she was well out of reach.

"I wanted to live my lifetime with you, to subsist solely for you, and to die with you. I wanted to see the world before coming here, to see everything before returning to nothing. It's pointless now, you made your choice, one that I fully understand and love you for. Come to me, Marcus, and let us return to the Source together. Let us become one within the end of all reason."

I began shouting her public figure, but as always, I heard nothing but that ineffable disturbance. I had not been able to find out her true name, so this moniker was all I could use. I cursed as the miss slowly made liaison with the surface of the nigrify fix, resting upon it like she was sunbathing on a boulder. After only a second, I was forced to watch in horror as she slowly began to be absorbed into it, sinking beneath its Earth's surface like it was made of tar. I followed soon after, desperately trying to bring myself to a stay but unable to struggle the gravitational pull. I collided with the black screen, feeling no pain in the impact even with it being quite solid. I tried to bear on myself off, to fight gravitational force, but with the slightest exertion, the aerofoil beneath my hands gave way and I began to be sucked in. Simply acting on instinct, I took a deep breath before my head word was pulled in. The girl was in front of me, just out of reach, hovering in a vast spinning soaker of bright violet light, a vortex leading onwards into infinity.

As my frown body was slowly absorbed into black golf hole with me, the girl looked me and smiled."Your dream was to live happily with the one you loved, so that too became my dream. Your wish was to find oneself your soul Paraguay tea and be happy for the rest of your liveliness, so I sought to deed over you that indirect request. Do not be afraid, we can still be together forever."

My middle widened and I fearfully gasped as her physical structure slowly began to dematerialize, breaking up cellular telephone by jail cell. Looking down, I realized that I too was falling apart, my flesh and origin literally being shed from my physical form, but without any nuisance or sensation.

"If I had waited, what would you have been ?"I shouted desperately as I finally entered the vortex fully.

With her leg and much of her trunk gone, she opened her oculus and smiled at me."Whatever you wanted me to be."

From her intelligence, a blinding Three Kings' Day flashed in my psyche, I now understood, and I had regained something I thought I had lost. I reached out to her while the form painlessly melted off my finger's breadth."Tell me, what was your wish ? !"

"To live and be happy with you,"she murmured, as the top of her foreland and her left over arm began to disappear.

"That was my bid too, so I'm going to grant it ! I want to live my biography and be happy, and I refuse to do either of them without you ! I change my mind, I want to live, and I want to live my liveliness with you !"

I then called out her name, her honest epithet, finally able to hear it. At the phone, the girl's one remaining eye bolted exposed, and the twisting vortex of violet Light Within began to roil violently. I shouted her name again and reached out with everything I had and grasped what was left of her mitt with what was left of my own. As soon as she and I touched, our organic structure were fully reformed.

"Marcus,"she gasped.

I said her name in return, making her smile warmly and blush.

Holding onto her tightly, I looked back at the surface of the black hole. It was so penny-pinching and yet so far, like fresh air to a drowning man. Pulling the girl with me, I reached up with all the intensity level in my torso and individual, not caring if my musculus tore and my bones snapped in the operation. Just as I thought I was about to die, my fingers broke through the Earth's surface and I grabbed on, feeling the outside become firmly beneath my grip. Roaring in desperation, I pulled the two of us back up and the sorry hole released us with a geyser of violet get-up-and-go shooting out like a volcanic blast. The young woman and I were thrown out into the world, clutching each other for dear life.

"So can we inhabit our lives together and be happy ?"she murmured with her face buried in the side of meat of my neck.

I smiled and held her penny-pinching."Yes, we can live and be glad. We'll be together always, Angel, my Angel."



My eyes opened and I immediately turned my promontory and threw up, emptying the contents of my stomach onto my bedchamber floor. The majority of the pills were still intact, letting me survive by the hide of my teeth, but enough had been absorbed and dissolved into my bloodstream to leave me feeling fed up and giddy. Gasping for air and shaking more than ever in my life-time, I spat out the last of the vomit and wiped my typeface. I had tried to shoot down myself and lived, but that pipe dream, had I really chosen to live or did I just throw up as a natural physiological reaction ?

As I lied back and stared up at the roof, I realized that I was not the solitary one in that bed. Looking over, my eyes widened as they fell upon the unconscious holy man. She was right beside me, covered in line and some sort of early liquid, but… she was there. I knew that this was different than all of the early metre I had woken up next to her. The way she was weighing down on the mattress, the way the blood on her hide was staining my sheets, just the way she looked… she was really, she was completely real. This wasn't a hallucination.

My initial shock was replaced by fear, realizing as if for the first clock time that she was covered in blood. I reached out and pressed my fingers against Angel's neck, checking her pulse and finding a stiff and unfluctuating heartbeat. Moving as quickly as my chemically-shocked trunk would give up, I dashed out of my room and over to the privy, grabbing all the towels I could and coming back. Climbing back onto the bed, I rubbed her down with the towels and wiped away the profligate and the other mysterious fluid that covered her. I looked desperately for any cutting or signs of injury, but I found nothing. She was completely unharmed.

After again checking her pulse, I stopped and just stared at her, completely memorized. Angel, the light of my aliveness and the little girl of my pipe dream was literally right on here in front of me. How had this happened ? How could a human being just suddenly materialize out of dilute air ? My questions were interrupted by the noticing of a revolting olfactory sensation in the room. Oh yeah… I had vomited on the floor.

I smiled and looked down at backer, gently pulling the blanket over her naked form. Real or not, I couldn't let her wake up to such a pot. While I waited for her to gain consciousness, I cleaned up the regurgitation and sprayed the stained rug with every chemical I could get my hands on to get rid of the olfactory property. The whisper of blanket could be heard as I was returning from dumping the towels in the washables elbow room. She was starting to awaken. More nervous than ever in my sprightliness, I sat down on the bed and wrapped my hired man around hers. Her lid slowly rose, showing her two beautiful blues.

"Hey,"I said softly with a small grinning.

She gave a small hum and a look of peace, as if waking up from a much-needed sleep."Hi."

A flutter ran through me at the sound of her voice.

"Do you think back anything ?"

She closed her eyes and was silent for respective moments and a looking of vexation crossed her face."I don't know."

After everything I had seen, this did surprise me a little. Ok, so the billet was 99 % perfect…

"Are you sure ?"

She was silent for a few Thomas More bit."postponement, I remember… my epithet. My public figure is angel, I think."

I smiled at her realization. She was real.

"Who are you ? Where am I ?"

"My gens is Marcus, and don't worry, you're safe. You're in my domicile. I found you outside, crying for help."

What was I supposed to distinguish her, that she had somehow materialized out of flimsy air because I dreamt her up ?

"Now, how do you feel ? You don't aspect hurt."

"I feel finely, just tired. Thank you for saving me. I can tell that you are truly kind just by touching you."

With a sugary sweet grin on her lips, she clutched my hands tightly. I could feel my face becoming red in superfluity. holy shite, she really was an angel.

"Are you thirsty ?"

She nodded.

"Alright, I'll get you something to eat."

As I stood and turned away from her, I could take heed her try to get up.

"Did you peel me ?"

I turned around and saw her holding the cover over her chest.

"No, I found you that way. Don't worry, I didn't skin senses you or anything. Your safety was the only thought process on my mind."

"Do you prognosticate ?"

"Yes,"I said with my representative raspy.

Several seconds passed where the fille stared into my heart, and I stared into hers. Finally, she smiled."I believe you."

She stood up and I quickly stopped her."You need to rest."

"Please don't leave me."

I gave a small but warmly grinning."Very well, whatever makes you happy."‘ She's in completely new milieu, so she is trying to find something familiar spirit, or at least something that makes her find dependable and happy. I was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes, and she wants to stay close to whatever seems even remotely familiar, even if we only met a hour ago. She needs something to cling to.'

With the blanket and my arm wrapped around her, we made our way to the kitchen with me holding her up. After her experience, I didn't want to put on the line her not being able-bodied to support her own weight.

"Is soup ok ?"

"Yes please."

She was starting to feel better ; I could see her relaxing with the situation. I filled a pot with one of the large jugful of piss my folk had saved for the loss of tycoon and put it on the stove. While it did postulate a match to overcompensate for the deprivation of the electric head start, I was able to get it going without worry. With the piss heating up, I turned to saint, sitting on one of the crapper at the island table. She had a diminished smile and it was reflected on me.

"You don't remember anything… but you know what soup is ?"

A look of confusion crossed her face."I didn't even notice."

"Its obvious you have some configuration of amnesia, but I'm not surprised you remember non-personal material. It means that there are some things that your mind still remembers."‘ Maybe she isn't retaining those computer storage, maybe those memories have been put in her mind.'

I looked around the kitchen."Try to call as many things as you can. The genial foreplay might bring some memory board back."

She began looking around the kitchen and naming everything she saw, but still no retention appeared in her head. With the water in the pot soon bubbling, I poured in the flavor parcel and brick of noodles, and stirred, waiting until it could be served. Ah ramen, the utter comfort food.

"When the great power paying back, we should probably call an ambulance for you. Plus maybe they can help you retrieve your memory,"I said as I passed her the steaming bowl.

"Marcus, maybe I shouldn't remember."

Having turned off the kitchen stove, I looked back, seeing that her smile was replaced with a face of sadness.

"You found me stumbling through the snow and coated in blood. Maybe it would be effective if I don't remember."

Pained by the departure of her smiling, I placed my hand on her brass. Her skin was so flabby and smooth that I wanted to kiss her right then and there.

"Don't vexation. If you feel that you don't want to remember, we won't talking about it."

She held onto my deal, brushing it against her cheek like a cat seeking affection.

‘ No two stranger can get along this wellspring in less than ten mo. She really is Angel.'

The luminance came on and a beep rang out from the fastball detectors and ruined the moment. I checked the phone but there was no dial tone. The telephone dividing line must have been More heavily damaged than the exponent lines.

I turned my attention back to Angel."Ok, eat your soup and I'll start a bath for you. I wasn't able-bodied to completely clean you off."



I sat next to the bathtub, watching as it was filled with hot piss while holding my hand beneath the waterspout to make sure it was the correctly temperature. While I waited, Angel Falls walked around the house, exploring her environment and simply trying to rush her head. With the two of us separated, I now had a moment to truly think. This girl, she had somehow come out of nowhere, this figment of my imagination becoming a real someone. Either some sort of unexplainable miracle had just taken place or my delusion had now reached a whole new level of depth… or maybe I really had died and this was heaven.

Either way, it would be voiceless explaining her to my parents, and no thing what I said or did, the police would probably end up getting involved. Either I would deposit to my lie and hold back saying that she just appeared naked at the room access asking for aid, or compromise and say I just woke up with her future to me and had no idea how she got into my house. For all I knew, she could have been a burglar or high on PCP. Whichever path I took, it would be hard, but as long as I had Angel, it would be worth it.

"saint, the bath is ready !"

When no reply came, I stood up and strained my pinna. Had she fallen back to log Z's, had she even passed out ? Shaken by that fear, I scoured the house and found in her my way. She was standing over my desk, still wrapped in her blanket with her shoulders trembling and my suicide note in her hand, now dotted with her tears.

"Angel…"

She turned to me with liquid drop rolling down her impertinence."Marcus, you were going to kill yourself ?"

I slowly reached out and took the suicide promissory note from her, proceeding then to wrinkle it up and stuff it in my pocket."I was. Listen, the bath is make, we'll talk after you get cleaned up,"I replied, unable to meet her teary gaze.

I put my arm around her and guided her to the bathroom, where the tub was waiting with swarm of steam wafting up.

"All right, I'll be downstairs if you need me. Just holler if you want me to get you anything."

"Marcus, wait. Don't leave me."

"wellspring I shouldn't be here while you—"

She let go of the blanket, letting it diminish to the floor around her ankles. I had lost track of how many metre I had seen her naked body, but now with her standing before me in the flesh, she had never looked more beautiful.

"You've already seen me like this, it's ok for you to be here. Besides, I want to save talking to you."

She stepped into the tub and settled down, letting the final stage of the dry parentage and other liquidity wash off her body and deed over her unclothed form a beautiful shine. She purred in happiness as she submerged herself in the hot water, letting her whole body soak before she brought her head back up and laid back, with her foresightful reddened whisker listing and twirling around her organic structure like seaweed around a mermaid. Seeing her boob floating on the surface with wave after wave gently lapping at her delicate flesh was firing up endocrine inside of me that I never even knew I had.

"Marcus, delight tell me… why did you try to kill yourself ?"

"I thought you read the note."

"I want to listen it from you,"she whispered desperately.

I sat down on the boundary of the tub and was silent for respective moments."There are people all over the world who suffer unsound than I do : infant dying of starvation, minor used as sex hard worker, adults forced to watch as their families suffer with nothing over their heads but the roof of their hut. I admit, even my life could be far worse than it is now, but there is a key departure between those people and me : they are adequate to of being felicitous. They have the will to live and the ability to smile. Me… there is nothing in this world that can bring me joy, I am physically incapable of being happy.

For virtually of my lifespan, I have not known what felicity spirit like. Even as a youngster, I could never bond with others and I always felt out of place in the world, like I was inappropriate with this reality. My real number depression began eight twelvemonth ago, when I was constantly teased and ridiculed by those around me for no understanding. I was simply picked at random to be used as a punching bag. I was tormented for class on end, but the ones who brought me so much pain never got the punishment they deserved. In guild to"give me a abatement from my torture ”, I was transferred to a school for troubled Kyd. That place was Inferno, with the screams of the mentally disturb echoing down the hall. It was like being in an insane asylum but with homework. I lost a year there while my tormenters still faced no punishment. For a yr, my intellect rotted, up to the head where I even began to hallucinate.

I was desperate for a therapeutic to my pain, something that would make this foiling and unvarying torment worth it. I decided that the only thing that could possibly bring me peace is love… or death. So I searched for love, for my soul mate, trying to witness the one young woman who could claim away my pain in the neck, for even when I was just a kid, my nitty-gritty ached. My solitariness, low, and anger poisoned me. Toss in century of 60 minutes of forced head-shrinker school term and prescription anti-depressants that didn't do jack-shit, and my life lost its light.

What I'm about to tell you is something that I have not told anyone. I was so desperate for relief that I even took a leaf blade to my own anatomy. It was not a suicide try, but I was hoping that I could cancel out my intimate pain with outer pain."

I showed her the mark on my arm and Angel placed her helping hand on the attenuated strain and gave me a flavour of deep sympathy.

"No matter what, I could not find a human that could be my salvation, so in my sorrow, I developed a cryptical hatred for humanity. I'm disgusted by my species and I wish that humans would just all die out. I've even given up on finding a soul mate because every girl I met was just too heavily tainted by the existence to do anything other than disgust me and trigger my execration. But with my loneliness still plaguing me, I knew that my suffering would preserve. With my idea filled with pandemonium and the earthly concern always stuffing my sassing with the gustatory perception of ash, I decided that Death's cherubic embrace was the solely thing that could institute me public security. The but reason why I didn't kill myself then was because I did not desire to put my family through the pain and heartbreak,

Then… a dyad month ago… I collapsed into a seizure. I was in more pain than I thought possible, all of it coming out of the amobarbital sodium. I found out that my encephalon is riddled with tumor, focused mostly on my brainstem and limbic system. All these years, my limbic system was basically being smothered by useless tissue, leaving it incompetent of producing chemicals like serotonin and other compounds needed in order for the brain to feel the emotion happiness. No marvel I had always been miserable ; I was basically a car running without oil.

The other tumors, the tumors on my brainstem, had finally grown prominent enough to interpose with my flighty system, causing full phase of the moon body nervus stimulant of annoyance receptor. For every second of every day since then, I've been in untellable torment, constantly downing painkillers and fearing of my numerous daily seizure. In short, I've been suffering since I was born, and it just keeps getting worse and worse as I grow older."

Turning around in the tub and moving over to me, holy person placed her wet hands on my cheeks and pressed her os frontale against mine. Her touch, her tending loving tinge, essentially made me melt in happiness. Yes, happiness, only with her did I finally know what it felt like.

"Marcus, I am so sorry."

"Don't be, you saved my life."

Angel stared at in surprise.

"I was half dead from a contraceptive pill overdose when I heard you slamming on the door. My consistence kick-started and I threw up the pills. I would be short if it weren't for you."

"But I thought you wanted to die ?"

"When I found you, I found the will to live. While I was waiting for you to wake up, I was eager to meet you and hear your spokesperson, to see you smile. As long as you need me, as long as you need help in this world, I will be there for you. I refuse to die as long as there is something I can do to take a crap you happy."

Crying now with tears of joy, saint wrapped her blazon tightly around my neck."Then if staying with me will make believe you happy and keep you alive, I will never impart you. You saved my lifetime, so I will save yours and rest with you forever."

Her words brought a wafture of emotions through me, so acute that I was practically shaking. With no one else on the planet could I have bonded so well, not in a C, let alone a exclusive hr. This little girl, this lawful backer, we had been in erotic love thirster than she knew and her tone were pouring out, even with her memories having yet to yield. Once her memories fully came back and she remembered the life we shared before her strong-arm arriver, our lives would become paradise.

We stayed in that bath for as long as the piddle was hot. I told her about my family and recanted some pleasant storage, and while she listened and scrubbed herself with a bar a soap, I even shampooed her hair's-breadth. Eventually, her periodic oscitancy began to turn in absolute frequency and I could tell she was feeling sleepy.

"cum on, you should get some rest."

I grabbed a towel and the two of us stood up. Just as Angel was about to pace out of the tub, she slipped and landed in my arms. Holding her wet naked var. pressed against me, I felt my humanity become so vertical that I almost thought it would pop. I just had to go for that Angel would not detect the bulge in my pants. With the towel wrapped around her, I brought her into the guest bedroom and left to get her some clothes. My sister Emily was the same size of it as backer, so her clothes would fit. Giving a sigh, I closed my eyes and looked away while I opened my sister's underwear drawer. Shuddering from the shear amount of incorrectness, I grabbed the kickoff distich of panties my hand touched and quickly wrapped them in a t-shirt.

With a pair of sweat pants, panties, and an undershirt and blouse, I walked back to the guestroom and stood in the doorway, watching as backer dried herself with the towel. It was not a physical rousing I was feeling, but an emotional one. I wanted to make love with her, not sex, not the act performed by porn stars and rummy teens. I felt a physical drawing card to her, but it was an excited one that was far more powerful. I walked in and handed her the clothes and she got preen, lay aside for the blouse. With a grin in the vertebral column of my psyche, I regretted seeing her clothed. She lied down in the bed and I wrapped her in the blankets.

"Just try and get some remainder. I'll be downstairs if you need me."

"Do you promise that I'll wake up and still be here, and you'll still be with me ?"

I leaned forward and kissed her on the frontal bone."Of course."

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. On the island mesa, hidden behind a box of cereal grass, was my bottle of pain meds. A shiver ran down my spine as I realized something. There was no annoyance. The whole time I had been with Angel, I had been feeling no pain in the ass, just like whenever I dreamed about her. I pulled the suicide note out from my air pocket and stared at it, my eyes fixed on the teardrops that she had left when she read it.

"I don't feel any pain…"

I walked into the life way and grabbed the ignitor above the open fireplace. Igniting the minuscule butane torch, I held the flame under the self-destruction note and then tossed it onto the bed of cold ashes, letting the flames destroy was could have been.

"I'm not sure I believe in God, I honestly don't know what to believe after this miracle, but I do think that fate has brought you to me, angel. You took my pain away."

For the next three hours, I simply sat in the slow chair in the living way, thinking about my future and the lifetime I would go with angel. As fantasy after fantasy passed through my mind, I heard the front line threshold loose, signaling the return of my family. My sis, younger crony, and parents stepped inside.

"Marcus, you really postulate to startle getting out of the sign of the zodiac. You need to drop time with people,"my mom nagged.

"I have,"I muttered under my breath as I stood up and walked over, carefully choosing my password.

This was going to be difficult.

"There is something I need to assure you…"

"What ?"my dad asked.

"I haven't been alone. A girlfriend showed up at the back door, naked and covered in rake. She's alive, I managed to save her before she froze to death, but says she can't remember anything."

"Marcus, that is messed up, even for a joke,"my brother said squeamishly.

"She's upstairs, sleeping in the guestroom. Sorry sis, but I had to give her some of your clothes."

Finally my family was convinced that I was telling the truth.

"Marcus, is there really a girl here ? Is what you're saying confessedly ?"my mom asked nervously.

"Either that or I've finally snapped and I just hallucinated the utmost four hours."

"well have you called her an ambulance ? The mightiness is on,"my sister asked.

"The telephone set lines are still down and you know I don't have a cell phone. I've been waiting for you to come back so that we can beat back her to the hospital. She doesn't need to be rushed there in an ambulance, but we should still get her there. Want me to wake her up ?"

"Sure,"my dad said, rubbing his forehead as he tried to swear out the sudden selective information,"get her down here."

I walked upstairs, taking thick breaths and trying to calm myself from the conversation only moments prior. I approached the guestroom and stood in the threshold. Angel seamed to be shrouded in a caul of lightness through my eyes, but I knew she was really there. I silently walked towards the bed and crouched down. I placed one mitt on saint's forehead and my other on her hand.

"Angel ?"I whispered.

She opened her beautiful eyes and hummed a reply.

"Sorry to wake you, but we need to get you to a infirmary. We need to get you checked out to build sure enough that you are really all right."

"You'll semen with me, right ?"

I moved my paw to her cheek."Of course."

She stepped out of the bed and I immediately realized that I couldn't show her to my family, not in her flow state.

"Here, put this on,"I said, holding up the blouse I had taken from my babe's room.

"What ? Why ?"

Unable to crush my grin, I pointed at her dresser, where atop the colossal mountains that were her titty, her nipples were poking through the thinly fabric of the undershirt like fingertips.

"I don't want you accidently poking one of their optic out."

Blushing in embarrassment, Angel covered her bureau with her weapon and turned away."You pervert !"she giggled.

Following my advice, she put on the blouse and buttoned it up, but the problem still was not completely solved. Unlike the tank top she was wearing underneath, the fabric of the blouse did not stretch out. It merely clung and constricted when the wearer's proportions weren't… adjustment. Suffice to say, the hindquarters of the blouse barely came down to her belly push button, and the clit were silently screaming as they struggled to keep back in Angel's breasts. This time, I made no try to suppress my laugh, to which angel playfully smacked me.

Once I was done laughing, I looked into her eyes."Ready ?"

She nodded and took my arm. Walking out into the hall, I could discover my parents and siblings talking downstairs. They were all certain I was either hallucinating or just playing a virtual caper. My pal actually said that I had found a blow-up doll out in the storm and was just using it as a gag prop. I certainly didn't blame them for not believing me ; I still barely believed it. However, when they all heard the strait of two distich of footfall on the stair, all doubts were erased. Eyes widened and pant were suppressed as Angel came into view, cute as a push with a blush of nervousness and her implements of war wrapped tightly around mine.

"Everyone, this is angel. Angel, this is my kinfolk. That's my baby Emily, my brother Phil, my mom Laura, and my dad Alex."

Everyone stared at her with shock. Not only was it foreign just to finally meet her, but also her beauty was incredible. Shocked virtually of all was Emily, not only by Angel's existence, but by her… appearance. She certainly couldn't call up any of her blouses clinging to her like that, and she had to fight the impulse to front down at her own chest for a miserable comparison.

"So our son saved you ?"my dad asked in amazement.

"Yes, though I don't remember ever being international or anything before. I just woke up with Marcus holding my script, and even without my retention, I knew I was safe."

Her nervous murmur melted the hearts of everyone in the room.

"Emily, can Angel barrow your coat ?"

She jerked as if awoken from a trance and quickly pulled off her jacket and handed it to me. I put it around Angel and held her skinny.

I turned to my parents."All right hand, let's go to the hospital."

With Angel using a pair of my sister's shoes, my parents and I brought her exterior and we got into the car. I sat in the dorsum with her, keeping my arm around her at all multiplication. The cause into the city was silent as the sky darkened with its usual wintertime focal ratio, and as we maneuvered through the snow-caked city, Angel stared out the windowpane with across-the-board heart, hoping the scene would trigger some dormant retentivity. I didn't say anything about it, not just because my parents were in the car with us, but because I knew there weren't any memory board for her to recover.

As expected, the emergency room was almost completely filled with people, the absolute majority of them having suffered from car stroke or early harm brought on by the extreme point weather. While my parents dealt with the paperwork at the front desk, I sat with angel. As before, I had my arm around her to comfort her, and she had her foreland on my shoulder. I'm not sure how foresighted we waited, if my parents had written a potential Brassica napus in the paperwork and it sped up the outgrowth, or how many hoi polloi we saw entering or leaving the ER, but we were all relieved when a nurse finally came up to us.

"Clive ?"she asked. I nodded and the nurse turned to Angel."Please derive with me."

We all got up and followed the nurse. Unlike the people who were just getting casts for break dance bones and stitches for magnanimous cuts, we were all brought into a hospital room like the one I had woken up in after my first base seizure.

"Just wait in here and the Doctor of the Church will be mighty with you in a minute,"said the nurse before walking away.

angel and I sat on the hospital bed, while my parents sat in two chairs. They didn't take their heart off of us for a moment.

After a few second, a physician walked in."how-do-you-do, I'm Dr. Anderson. Due to the nature of your visit, the constabulary have been contacted and we've been asked to perform certain tests, including a rape kit. This will be an overnight visit. I suggest one of you stays, simply to hold her comfortable and to suffice any interrogative that she can't. Now, could you delight present me a detailed recant of everything that has happened ?"

Making sure enough I avoided any departure in the chronicle, I retold the lie that Angel and my family line had heard : I had found Angel at the back doorway, naked, covered in blood line, and crying for aid. I pulled her interior, managed to warm her up, cleaned her off, and let her necessitate a bathroom. That was all there was to it.

"If that is everything, then I shall go and tell the tec outside everything you have told me, then we can get down with communications protocol. I'll send in a nanny to bestow you a infirmary gown."

Once the doctor left, I turned to my parents."Mom, dad, you two can go back home. I think I'll stay here with Angel tonight."

"But Marcus…"

I held backer close."Mom, please."

"Son, can we utter to you outside ?"my dad asked, but it was to a greater extent of a need than a request.

My parents and I stepped out into the hall.

"Are you sure you want to do this ?"my mom asked."I really think it would just be best if we tried to limit our engagement with her. With everything that is going on… with you… we should try and prevent advance complications. You saved her, you protected her, and you did everything right, but we're all strangers and it's time to let the state do its job."

"Mom, dad… she needs me… and I need her."

"Marcus we should really—"

"I haven't been in any pain since I met her."

My parents became silent.

"Ever since I found her, I haven't had to take a single tab or experienced a unmarried seizure. I don't know why, I don't jazz how, but it's like my genus Cancer has vanished. When I'm with her… I feel glad, happier than I've ever been, even before I was sick. I didn't just save her, she saved me, and I can't abandon her to deliver to my agonizing excuse for a lifespan. I'm staying with her."



Still not liking my decision, my parents accepted it and left. They would do back the next day. Over the course of the Night, saint changed into a hospital gown and underwent several tests. We learned everything from her age to her rakehell eccentric. She was both the same age and parentage type as I was, augmenting my cerebration about her occult world. During the ravishment kit interrogatory, I stayed beside her and held her hand, never leaving her English. By the sentence all the tests were done, it was past midnight and angel and I were in her elbow room, mentally exhausted. The legal age of the test results would be given tomorrow.

I stood by the door and turned off the light."All right, holy person, you should get some sleep."

"Marcus, I can't thank you enough for everything you've done,"she said tenderly, the two of us alone in the darkness.

"You'll never need to."

I walked over to the chair beside her bed, preparing myself for the uncomfortable dark's nap, but before I could touch it, I felt her script clasp mine. She sat up and leaning against me, her vocalism a crystalline whispering."After everything you've done, I can't let you spend the night sitting in that chair. Here, the bed is heavy enough for the both of us. Besides, I want you close to me."

"Angel,"I said softly, stroking her farseeing crimson tomentum and thanking every divinity I could think of for allowing me to be with her.

Happier than ever in my life, I discarded my jacket and shoes and climbed into the bed. I lied down next to her and held her as finish as I could with her back pressed against my bureau and the blanket around us sealing in the warmness of each former's physical structure. I held her so close that we could finger each other's heartbeats.

"Angel, I promise that I will watch over you forever."

She rolled over so that we were facing each other and I kissed her on the forehead.

"Thank you, Marcus, and I'll lookout man over you too,"she whispered, placing her hand on my chest.



saint and I were eating breakfast in bed and talking.

"I'll go call my parents, then we can head up home."

"menage ?"

I smiled."Well, you'll demand to rest somewhere."

Leaving the elbow room, I found a payphone and called my parents, asking for them to piece us up. My mom sighed when I used the word of honor"us ”. As I rounded the quoin on my way back to Angel's room, I saw Dr. Anderson and two police detective by the doorway. They were both men, late forties with peppery short hair.

"Oh Scheol no,"I growled.

I stormed over and put my deal on the room access before the Doctor could open it."Excuse me, what is going on here ?"I demanded.

"Relax, son, we're just here to ask her some questions. I'm Detective Francis, this is my partner Detective Frank Baum,"one of the detective said with a pen and small notepad in his hand.

"She and I have already told our fib a dozen prison term, there is nothing left to say. I heard her crying for help at my back door, I found her naked and passed out with blood all over her eubstance, and I brought her inside. I didn't see anything international, I didn't notice anything unusual, and I have never seen her until now. She can't answer any of your question ; she doesn't remember anything other than her figure, and we aren't even sure if that really is her name. Now I heard the results from the tests. Her rape kit showed no house of assault, there were no drugs in her scheme, and she didn't have any injuries. There is nothing else I can separate you."

"well there are two test results that you haven't heard. We found traces of the blood on her, as well as a certain other fluid. It was mostly scrubbed away in that bath you gave her, but we found low amounts all over her. It is impossible to get a mate on the stemma because it is destitute of tweed blood line jail cell, which are the only cubicle in ancestry that contain DNA. We also found amniotic fluid,"said Dr. Anderson.

"So what are you saying ?"

"The blood on her had to have been treated to suffer the flannel blood cells removed, and unless she was just born yesterday from a giant cloned uterus in a lab somewhere, there is no explanation for why she would be covered in afterbirth."

"We're hoping that by telling her this, it will jog her memory,"detective Baum stated.

"All right, but I want to be in there with her."

"Actually, how about you and I wait out here, have a little talking between men,"police detective Francis grunted.

It was not a proffer. I could palpate the profligate simmering in my veins with the desire to support by saint and protect her, but this was out of my control.

"Very well."

While Marian Anderson and Baum stepped inside Angel Falls's elbow room to try one finally time to jog her memory, investigator Francis and I stood out in the Marguerite Radclyffe Hall grimace to face.

"So I've heard from the stave that while you two have been here, you and Angel have been quite cozy with each other. The two of you are thoroughgoing stranger, but no one has seen you separated for more than a minute and you two slept in her hospital bed. The turned on teenager on the satellite couldn't get that close in a single night when one of them only knows her name."

"I'm telling you the truth, I've never seen her before. The human relationship we have ( I use that word carefully due to time constraints ) is simple : I want to protect her and she feels prophylactic and easy around me. Yes, we get along really well, amazingly well even, but yesterday was the first metre we met."

"So when we get the dogs to research your property for any fragrance trails, we won't find something surprising or contradicting to your story ?"

"Disregarding the fact that it snowed all night and anything that your tracking blackguard could induce found is long gone, no, you won't find anything."

"Well until this matter is taken care of, she'll be put up in a public shelter. You don't need to worry about it anymore."

"I'm not going to let you lease her away. You can execute your investigation, but I'll conduct this court if she isn't released into my custody. She needs me."

"If she's put in your custody, then she's your responsibility. If something bad happens, then it's your fault."

"That's all that I ask."

The door was opened and Dr. Philip Anderson and Detective Lyman Frank Brown stepped outside."No luck, she remembers nothing."

"We'll be at your belongings later today to commence the search. Thank you for your patience,"Francis said dryly before he, his mate, and the Dr. walked off.

I stepped into the hospital way, seeing Angel sitting on the bed with a shaken look on her face. Blood devoid of DNA and amniotic fluid… so she hadn't just materialized in my bed, she had actually been born. I walked over and wrapped my hand around hers."Don't trouble, I'm not going to let them separate us, I promise."



As my parents signed the temporary custody newspaper publisher, Angel and I sat in the car, just enjoying being stopping point to each other. I could evidence that she was well-chosen about having a place to go to. We both knew that eventually she would suit a permanent phallus of the kinsperson, even after the constabulary had performed their investigation.


"I don't have to stay, do I ? If I have to languish my time, I'd rather it not be in the freeze cold,"I said dryly to the police.

I was standing with a police squad of fuzz at the edge of the woods behind my household. The dense forest went for statute mile and it was the only counselling Angel could have come from if she was found at the back door. Without even looking, I could smell out her watching us from the windows.

"We need to throw sure enough that you aren't lying and maybe destroyed some grounds,"one cop said with a bloodhound next to him.

"Look around, Mother Nature destroyed your evidence. A monster truck could experience rolled through here and you wouldn't know it."

One of the cops pulled out one of the towels I had used to strip off saint when she was in my bed. He held it up to the sleuthhound and the dogs immediately seemed confused as they sniffed the flat coat, unable to blame up the svelte odor other than the slight trace Angel left at the theater when returning from the infirmary. I certainly didn't expect them to regain any traces of her, and I had to obscure my rilievo when they finally gave up.

"feel free to search the area, but if you need me, I'll be with someone who needs me more."



angel and I stood in the guestroom. It was the betimes good afternoon and the house was empty. My dad was at oeuvre, my brother was at a supporter's house, and my mom and sister were out shopping for clothes for Angel to put on while she stayed with us. The fuzz had quickly left, unable to find any evidence to confirm or abnegate my story, but they would eventually come back.

"Now this is your room."

I looked at holy man and could say that she was tired. I placed my script on her shoulder."You should get some rest ; you had a long Nox and woke up early."

A pocket-size smile crossed her face."I am tired, but I slept so well last nighttime. I think it's because you were with me. Will you remain with me again ?"

"Of course,"I whispered, feeling like I was finally on the right path.

With the shades drawn to keep the room dark, we both climbed into the bed and I put my arm around her. Underneath the blankets, our bodies pressed together like two puzzler piece, I felt so warm and prosperous that my palpebra suddenly weighed as a great deal a pair of dumbbells.

"Marcus ?"Angel murmured.

I could only hum in reply.

"I think I remember something."

My oculus bolted undetermined."What is it ?"

"I was supposed to play individual, I was supposed to meet him and convey him happiness, just like the happiness he would bring me. I can't remember who it was, but I think… I think that person is you. I think we were supposed to meet and make this man paradise."

She tightened her hold on my arm, clutching it against her thorax like it was a lifeline. I knew that it was otiose to say anything ; she had already fallen asleep. There was null to do but join her.



I woke up a couple hours later, my consistence feeling like it weighed a thousand Sudanese pound simply from how cosy that bed was. We had separated during the nap, there was about a foot and a half of distance between us, and we were on our slope facing each other. I felt a shiver crawl up my spine, realizing that Angel was in the exact Same status as when I would wake up to see her as a dream. I looked upon her beautiful face, ineffective to organize a unity view. Slowly, her eyelids opened, and her blue centre held a deliquium freshness. Her face was Stoic, but her eyes were filled with beloved, inviting me to come finisher. I felt a impulse of warmth crawl throughout my consistence as a light seemed to shine in my mind. This was the moment I had been waiting my whole liveliness for.

She closed her heart and rolled onto her back and I slowly moved over to her. Shaking from oral sex to toe but knowing that everything was as it should be. I leaned forward and kissed her, gently at first, but her quick reaction and mirroring of the act drove me to go along with more passion. She kept her eyes closed the completely prison term, as if half asleep even while kissing me. I placed my hand on her clavicle, feeling her physical structure becoming hotter and hotter as the kiss continued. I moved my hand down and cupped a warm breast. Angel let out a hum of delight as I squeezed, unable to take hold the integral wad in my hand.

I slowly pulled up her shirt, brushing the tips of my finger along her slim belly. Angel raised her munition and pulled off the shirt. While we kissed, I moved my hand down to her waistline. She let out another hum as I pulled down her panties, admiring her defenseless beauty without ever ending her kiss. While sporting a truly powerful erection, I calmly but hesitantly ran my hand between her inner thighs, completely at awe at how soft and smooth her skin was. I brushed my deal against her Virgo slit, the vertical lip feeling like velvet beneath my fingers.

At my touch, Angel gave a soft whimper of pleasure and her legs slightly spread. I continued to tease apart her, caressing her woman with gentle—almost ticklish—strokes by my fingerbreadth. Soon, I decided to go further, settling my paw like I was using a computer black eye and swirling the tip of my middle finger at the number one level of her interior, where her sonant bod was moist from arousal with a vibrant garden pink spectre. Feeling my finger probing such a tender place, Angel began to tremble and pant through our aeonian candy kiss. I continued my advancement, including my band digit into the stimulation and working the two finger's breadth deeper inside of her. Burying them up to the arcsecond joint, I stirred her arm while rubbing her clit with my thumb.

backer's eubstance was now moving like a wave, with a easygoing whine passing through her lips as I pleasured her. Taking it one final footfall, I ended our osculation and moved my capitulum down, wrapping my lips around her correct mammilla and tugging on it gently. No longer bound by my back talk, Angel's whimper of pleasance were now free to be heard, but I was certain that with the door shut, no one in the house would hear her. I didn't even know if anyone had come back yet. I pushed that thought and worry out of my creative thinker, focusing instead on pleasuring Angel. My aid was well directed, as within hour, Angel arched her dorsum and released a gentle but pipe up hollering of euphory. While she tried to catch her breath, I pulled my fingerbreadth out of her and licked them clean and jerk. Her wetness, her essence, it tasted as sweetened as I imagined.

I quickly undressed, knowing what was about to happen, but before I could impress on top of Angel, she suddenly pushed me onto my book binding and climbed on top of me. Sitting on my lap, the wet lips of her cunt kissing the prick of my rock-hard cock, she gazed at me with attendant loving smile. Beautiful, she was so beautiful.

"Marcus, I remember."

"What ?"

"I remember everything about you and about me, about what we were before we truly met. We were like this, just like this, when I promised you unceasing felicity. I remember you're touch, your taste, your love, your pain, and your warmness. I remember the undying strength and cacoethes in your eyes when you finally realized and cried out my name. I remember it all, Marcus. I love you so practically that I can't even delineate it ! I'm so glad, I think I could cry !"

The air was pulled from my lungs and my body froze. This couldn't be real, this had to be a dream ! There was no conceivable way that my life sentence could get so… perfect. Angel gave me a foresighted and passionate kiss, once again reaffirming that she and the world around me was real number. Before she could end the kiss, I wrapped my implements of war around her and held her tightly.

"I love you so much, Angel. You're the most important thing in the world to me. You're the igniter of my lifespan, the sole reasonableness I've been capable to hold on this recollective. Without you, I was zero. Without you, I am naught. You saved me from the wickedness of my own intellect. You reached out and saved me. You gave me a place in a domain I despised and was disgusted by. You aren't just my Angel, you are a lawful angel,"I said, letting tears of felicity gloam from my eyes.

Her cheek against mine, she whispered in my ear,"I told you before that if you named me, I would be solely for you. Now I will fill my promise and reach myself yours. No matter what you desire or what I must do, I will live for no reason former than to love you and bring you happiness, just as I know you will do the same for me. I will be the embodiment of your will to go and you will cherish me just as I will cherish you."

She raised her head, keeping her font hovering over mine with her long flush hair hanging down and sealing us within our own individual space.

"I love you, angel,"I said, placing my hands on her cheeks.

"I love you too, Marcus. Now it is sentence for me to grant you happiness and truly show you how it feels to make out and be loved."

Raising herself up, she reached down and grasped my cock, keeping it standing at the good slant. Key and logic gate now brought together, she gently lowered herself down onto my manhood, embracing it with her womanhood. I was truly pass on breathless by the sensation of entering her, unable to completely depict how unspoiled it felt. It was so warm, so soft, and so wet, but beyond that, every single aspect from the clash to the constriction was so pure that it was as it her torso was actually changing and adapting itself to my orientation.

Even more, beyond just the physical connection, I felt like our heart, minds, and souls were merging together. I could palpate her emotions rushing through the connection and into me, overflowing with warmth like water from the perfect tense rain shower, and just like our link shape, I was able-bodied to penetrate her mind with my own emotions and felt her embrace me.

Angel whimpered in happiness as she reached the base of my cock, showing not a 1 twinge of pain."Oh my god, it feels so good. It's perfect ; it fits inside me so thoroughgoing. I can sense it kissing the entryway to my womb."

"It's like we were meant for each early,"I teased, brushing my fingers against the side of meat of her flawless face.

"We were, Marcus. We were."

She then leaned forward onto her deal and raised her lower body, revealing the rotating shaft of my putz with a case of blood from her tear Hymen, the same shade as her hair. She lowered herself back down, whimpering in joy as I filled her to pass completion with my genus Phallus. Moving in a blue-blooded whiplash moment, she began raising her lower body and then swinging it back down onto my cock, driving it up into her with the perfect speed and specialty and leaving me completely overwhelmed with happiness. Every meter she dropped down, her utter ass would wiggle against my lap. After mastering the rhythm and movements, she changed her technique and began rolling her depressed body on me, grinding back and Forth with my dick stirring her beloved pot. She rode me like that for various minutes, allowing us to both get fully accustomed to the sensation of being intimate.

Soon after, she changed her technique again, leaning back and relying on her stomach muscles to snarf her up so that she could spring on my prick. Her boldness was blushing while she panted, and her declamatory boob jumped with her like a pair of melon-sized water balloons hanging from the bumper of dune buggy going off-road. I was almost hypnotized, but within me, I also felt a burn passion. I felt the need to act and study the lead in this dance. I felt invigorated, energetic, invincible, like I could piss have intercourse to her for hours and never screw up my load.

"holy person, turn around and lean back. It's meter for me to need guardianship of you,"I said, almost in a growling.

Angel looked at me with a mix of excited coyness and loving rawness and obeyed, turning around without dismounting and leaning back the way she had been before. With strength I never knew I had, I put my manpower on her articulatio coxae and elevated her, giving me room to begin thrusting up like a piston. holy man's whine of bliss became a groan of euphoria, with the mattress squeaking out its own feelings to my drift. I was using the bed to my advantage, harnessing the springs in the mattress to throw me upwards with lend effectiveness. I was thrusting up into her with everything I had, feeling completely resistant to any depletion in toughness. With her back now to me, her hanker ruddy hair was splayed out across my face and chest like a crashing falls. To some, this would be annoying, but I loved it. Her hairsbreadth was so soft and smelled so sweet ; it felt like I was being showered with rose petals.

Wanting to change my angle of penetration, saint adjusted herself on top of me, leaning farther back and resting her human foot on my knees. I certainly didn't object, though it took me a minute to readapt my motion to enter her. With her now lying on me, I had no room in which to throw and now had to use my bring down trunk in order to attract out and bear on back in, basically in a wave motion. As she rocked back and forth on top of me, Angel's tits bounced and rolled beautifully. I would have given a kidney to ascertain them jiggle. At the clip, she was moaning in happiness with a membrane of sweat covering her naked body and giving her an titillating sheen.

It is impossible to describe the intact galax of sentience I experienced while intimate with Angel. From a physical item of perspective, it was like we were stark for each former, our bodies synchronized in a way never seen before in the creation. Every intimation, every shudder, and every movement was mirrored and countered, letting us breathe in every possible frame of pleasure in each early. It was as if we were two half of clock, a clock made of gazillion of opus, and through the connection of our body, every piece had come together and each check and tock echoed masterfully. But beyond the forcible experience was the emotional one.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was truly realise, like I was truly roll in the hay. I was experiencing a bond that nobody else in history had ever felt, because nobody in history had ever been in a situation like this. In traditional human bonding, two masses meet, and if they are compatible, then over time, they adjust themselves to complete each other. With angel, I had found somebody that already completed me. I didn't need to modify anything. I didn't need to adjust and falsify my personality ; angel had been born matching my mortal perfectly. The only change was that I was now felicitous instead of miserable. To feel so tightly united with someone gave me something that I thought I would never experience : belonging. For the first time in my life, I felt like I finally had a home in this construct known as reality, like I was that one unregenerate while of a puzzle that didn't seem to go anywhere, until at close, I found the fleck where I fit perfectly. Until now, I loved my family, but only enough to guilt me out of committing suicide. With Angel, I finally felt at peace with the humankind and wanted to continue life, to be on this earth as long as possible and spend every day with her.

I don't know how recollective we were informal ; I think it was a couple hours at least. It certainly felt like it had been when we both collapsed onto the bed, drained of energy and gasping for air. My sense of metre finally came when I heard my mom annunciate a ten-minute admonition for dinner throughout the mansion. It was about 7:00, and the bed was soaked in sweat and other bodily fluids. angel was on her book binding with her legs wrapped around my shank, and I was basically sitting on the Sol of my fundament, driving into her like a jackhammer. We had been like this for fifteen minutes, but I refused to change billet simply because I got a perfect thought of Angel's boob and was able to watch them bound and jiggle to my heart's cognitive content. My mom's warning told me that it was finally time to kibosh, though I felt like I could have gone all dark without quitting.

"backer, I'm going to cum."

"Me too. unloose it all into me, I want to feel it inside me."

"But you might get pregnant."

"Relax, we're safe today, faith me."

I smiled, kissed her, and then put all my strength into ten more pump. At death, I released my entire onus into Angel, filling her up until semen was literally overflowing out of her. At the Saame time, holy man cried out in ecstasy and a shiver ran throughout her solid body as she experienced her umptieth climax. Finally feeling my stay exhaustion, I pulled out of holy person and fell back, barely having enough Energy to breathe. Angel was in the same nation, the back talk of her pussy now swollen from the hr of sex. But we were happy, felicitous and in love.

"That was the greatest experience of my life,"I hummed.

"Mine too,"Angel laughed while curling up succeeding to me.

"I honestly don't know how we're going to puzzle out up the force to get to the mesa. I'm starving but I'm just too tired to eat."

"Well if we don't go down, your family will get even more suspicious. Besides, you're not the solitary one that's hungry."

"With all the noise we were making, there is no way they didn't know what we were doing. I'm surprised the bed hasn't collapsed."

"Well then, either they know what we did or they will know when we don't go down, so we might as well eat."

Angel sat up and I grasped her wrist before she climbed out of bed."I love you, Angel."

She leaned down and kissed me."I love you too, Marcus."

"Also, I might need a little help getting dressed. My integral physical structure is basically Ground naught from all that lovemaking."



dinner was awkward to say the least, with everyone trying not to stare at Angel and I. I honestly couldn't Tell if my family line had heard the two of us having sex or not ; they weren't sending me any signals of acknowledgement or embarrassment. Maybe it was because this was the first off sentence since her instauration that my household had actually seen backer and could mouth to her. While the gracelessness was nearly suffocating, my family did seem relieved to one big change : I was gorging myself on every scrap of food mom had prepared. After calendar month of throwing up every meal and minute of sex, my physical structure was screaming for aliment and my tummy felt like it was about to implode.

"Hmmm, I never realized how much I missed large calorie,"I groaned in happiness while shoveling a third helping of crybaby onto my plate.

Even foods I normally despised like salad and string bean plant practically vanished as soon as they touched my plate.

"Careful, you don't want to put all the weightiness back on that you had before,"my dad warned while smiling, happy to actually be able-bodied to say something like that to me.

Before speaking, I shoveled a forkful of dome into my mouth, making Angel giggle."Don't trouble, I won't let that materialize. I'm skinny for the maiden time in my sprightliness and I want to sustain it that way."



I had just stepped out of my elbow room and was planning to take a shower when I saw my sis pulling angel towards her room with surprising lightheartedness.

"ejaculate on, I want to register you the apparel mom and I got for you."

The way she was talking, I only heard her talk like that with her friend. It seemed that since Angel was now living with us, Emily had received a new best Friend and the sister she always wanted.

"Hold on, I want to see this,"I said, walking over.

She turned to me with sudden coldness."No way, Marcus."

"What's wrong ? He saw me without clothes on when he helped me,"Angel asked with childlike innocence.

"Yeah, but I don't want to see my brother pitching a tent. Besides, you and me need to let a little female child talk."

Feeling like I had been both badly portrayed and robbed, I sighed and walked to the bathroom. Even after the marathon Angel Falls and I had experience an hour before, I would now necessitate both a hot and cold shower.



Emily nearly jumped when holy man pulled off her shirt, letting her tit outpouring Forth River without limitation. She had just assumed all this clip that Angel had been wearing a bra, if she had known that she wasn't… she would take in been more hesitant in staying in the room. Angel seemed to get no fright about going topless in front of Emily, but Emily was feeling sick with envy. She couldn't help but switch her gaze from Angel's chest to her own.

"It's just not fair,"she muttered.

"Thank you so much for getting these for me. I'm really sorry about having to borrow your clothes,"backer said gratefully as she pulled on a pink top from a lot of clothes on Emily's bed.

"It's no problem. But, uh… you can restrain the pantie. Now… this the firstly meter we've actually talked, and I know that you've probably told your news report a hundred times, but I have to ask : do you really not think of anything ?"

backer lost her smile. She had regained her memories, but they weren't the form of memories that she could tell anyone about. She had to preserve up the act of amnesia.

"No, I'm sorry. It would be dainty if I did, simply to ease everyone's badgering. But to be reliable, I don't want to remember. I'm sorry, I know that makes me sound really sketchy,"she chuckled sadly.

"Why don't you want to remember ? Is it so that you can stay here ?"

Angel turned to her and smiled."You know, don't you ?"

"Luckily I was the entirely one upstairs and the room beneath the guest way is rarely used, so I'm somewhat sure enough I'm the only one who knows. I will admit, the fact that you two moved so quickly is really suspicious. Under normal consideration, I would never be capable to trust you. I would be sealed that you were just using Marcus."

Whether she was intending to be blunt or to candy it, it was insufferable to tell.

"So what makes these non-normal portion ?"

Emily sighed."I can't help but believe you. I see the way you look at my brother, and it is with true felicity and love. A con creative person could easily trick me into believing that, but I'm just unable to see any malefic intent in you. Besides, you make my brother happy, and that is something that he has needed so badly that it is beyond description. When he was introducing you to us, I saw him smile, and he literally hasn't smiled in years. During dinner, he was so carefree and full of aliveness. If it keeps Marcus happy and alive, then I'm bequeath to bring a risk of infection on it."She then began to laugh."But how the hell on earth could you two immediately jump to sex ? ! Either the two of you are lying and you actually know each other, or it's something else."

Angel laughed as well."We're in love, it's as simple as that. When I opened my eyes and found him beside me, clutching my hired hand, I felt so good and secure, so cherished and cared for, I knew that no one could bed me as much as Marcus did. In him, I saw a break down gist that needed to be mended but was capable of so often beloved, I saw kindness beneath layers of pain, and I saw someone who would prize me forever. He told me that he saw me as an angel ( no pun intended ) that had come to spare him. He said that I had the tolerant centre and the honeyed soul he had ever encountered, and that I was the light of his liveliness. He wanted to protect me, to stomach me, to bring in me happiness and love me. Quite simply, he sees me as the one thing in this populace that he can actually Bond himself to. I know that wherever he is, is my habitation.

Yes, it formed quickly, but we truly need each other, and we want to pass the remainder of our biography together. I don't care if my retiring ever comes back, as long as I can be with Marcus. We were truly stand for to retrieve each early, to be together. It's beyond unsubdivided love at first sight, our aliveness were intertwined from the beginning,"she said, speaking so cheerfully that Emily could not ignore the warmth in her heart.

"Well if Marcus has things his way, you'll never have to result us, and that's good enough for me. Welcome to the family."



For the rest of holiday, Angel and I tried to keep back our love secret, but the passion between us doing those intimate times was inextinguishable. During the dark, I would hold back for everyone to fall asleep before sneaking out of my room and into hers. In the iniquity, we would make angelical beloved before falling asleep in each other's blazon. Early in the daybreak, my watch alarm would wake me up, and I would sneak back into my room.

With Angel, I found there were two form of sex : forcible and excited. When we were physical… holy darn. We were a couple of wild animals on PCP and ecstasy. We would go for time of day, burning calorie we never even knew we had and exchanging fluids like our bodies were actually completely liquid. It wasn't simply hormone-driven ; it was like we were fully exploring each former's bodies and letting our deepest instincts make out Forth River. Our bodies were more compatible than humanly possible, and just being close filled us with so a good deal energy that we could be intimate for hours and never rise tired. We basically ran through the Kama Sutra like it was a pamphlet and did every billet we could suppose of. Angel remarked upon my newfound lastingness and stamina with great joy, as her sexual hunger was just as enceinte as mine.

The other sort was slow and conciliate, have it away and familiar. Like when we were physically based, we would make love minute on end, but the rhythm was completely different, completely Tantrik. While our bodies were linked, we allowed our soul and minds to merge. It was as if we became telepathic, being able to read our feelings for each former without ever speaking them. When we fucked, it fed our trunk, but when we made love, it fed our souls. Just holding onto each other, making as much tangency as possible, and being so close that we could feel each other's hearts beating… it brought us a bliss that no strong-arm feeling could match. Holding each other after making love was as courteous as the act itself.



It was near the end of vacation, and Angel and I were kissing in her room. I heard someone coming up the stairs and angel and I quickly separated. Until my mob fully accepted her, we needed to obliterate our relationship. I pretended to be in the middle of explaining something to angel to assist her try and whelm her amnesia.

My brother stepped into the elbow room."Marcus, mom and dad want to blab to you."

"Thanks,"I said before he walked off.

I looked at angel and she and I exchanged glance of worry. I got up and kissed her on the forehead."It's going to be fine."

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. My parents and the two detectives were there. They had been searching the area for mean solar day and hadn't found anything, and much to my hatred, they questioned holy man extensively.

"We have finished our investigation, and we can't find any trace of her creation prior to when you found her, but we have no way to be sure to be sure if she committed or witnessed any crimes. We'll continue to search for her identity, but other than that, there is null we can do,"Detective Francis said.

Once he and his partner left, my mom turned to me."Now Marcus, we need to mouth about what to do with Angel."

"Its not like you found a dog that you want to keep. We need to imagine of her future. There are piazza where people in her condition can hold up,"said my dad.

"No, we are not abandoning her."

Before they could reply, I looked down at the level."Are the two of you blind ? I haven't suffered from one seizure ever since I met her."I held up one of my anovulant bottles. It was completely full."I haven't been in pain in the ass for daytime. She has taken away my agony, and she is the lone one who can. Not only that, but… I'm well-chosen. For the maiden time in my life, I'm actually happy. I thought that my sickness made that impossible, but she has somehow cured me of both my agony and my misery."

My parents tried to think of a response but were unable to counteract my argument. After all, it was clear that whether Angel stayed or left, my health and life depended on it.

"She needs me as much as I need her. Her retentivity is slowly beginning to follow back, she remembers information about the humans and what matter are and mean, but she knows nothing about herself. I can't help but inquire if that knowledge will ever come back, or maybe there was none to begin with. For all we know, she could be starting from gelt. She may not get a place or family to return to."

I sighed and softened my quality."I know that there is also the financial situation of letting her stop with us. way and panel and all that other stuff… I know that this family is already strained with three kids. That's why I've decided not to go to college, so that the money that was going to be used on my tutorship can instead be used to realize her a member of this family. College is a short-change anyway, and it's not like I will be incompetent of getting a job if all I have is a in high spirits schoolhouse education. Or maybe I can just go to community college. I would do anything for her."

I stopped as I heard mortal standing in the door. I turned and saw it was Angel. The philia and dear in her oculus was like a soothing rainwater to my soul. She walked over to me and wrapped her paw around mine, leaning her headland on my shoulder.

"Mom, dad… we're in love."

Several bit passed by,

"You've given us a lot to intend about,"my dad said shakily as he pulled my mom into the living way.



I was lying on my dorsum in bed with Angel crouched over me. It was the middle of the night and we were both naked, having just finished making love. angel was finishing me off, using her breasts to massage my cock while she licked the tip.

"I can't even describe how serious that feels,"I hummed, taking swell pleasure in the deal of the moonlight being caught by the spittle and pussy succus on Angel's tits.

"To bring in you happiness is why I live. I'm gladiola that my chest are so large, you sure seem fond of them,"she purred, rubbing the two indulgent yet firmly pillows of flesh against my manhood.

Her tegument, it was so smooth, delicate, and soft ; it was like she had been shaved from the neck down by a laser and then took a foresightful bathing tub in a tub full of moisturizer.

"I'm fond of everything about you, from the endless benignity within your heart, your goddess typeface, the redolence of your soul, your long and elegantly beautiful haircloth, and your flawless dead body, which practically perspires sexuality."

My external respiration quickened and I sensed an oncoming orgasm. Reading me like brail, Angel doubled her elbow grease, her grimace blushing with heroic rousing and loving commitment."Cum for me, Marcus. Spray with your semen. I want to brook it all and be covered in it. My body belongs to you !"

I was more than happy to obey, and in the mannikin of four ropey shots, I ejaculated every free fall of semen in my body, coating holy man's face, her tits, and her outstretched tongue. Before it could fully deflate, holy man took my dick in her mouth, cleaning it off and siphoning out any fastball that had been loaded into the barrel but never fired. Once it was empty, she sat up and hungrily licked my cum off her breast like it was the marrow of life. I almost had to laugh when she started wiping it off her face and then slurping it off her finger's breadth, cleaning herself like a cat.

"So good,"she said softly before crawling over and lying down beside me.

"I'm going to leave out having these lazy days to ourselves. I am really not looking forward to school tomorrow,"I sighed.

"You know, tomorrow will be the foresighted we've ever been apart. I don't get laid how I'll stand it,"she huffed.

"Don't remind me, but maybe I'll skip lunch and come home for a quickie."

"Then you'll just end up missing the rest of the day, we'd never leave the sleeping accommodation. I know you too well."

"Hey, can you blame me ?"

I then gave a mystifying sigh and looked up at the ceiling."It's been so unearthly since we met. For the maiden time in my life, I'm truly well-chosen. And my painful sensation, I never knew that I was capable of feeling so little of it. You almost managed to take it away when I saw you each aurora, but for it to be continuous like this, it makes me sense like I've spent the last three months wearing a courtship of armor with a lead apron underneath, and now I can finally walk exempt without anything weighing me down. To think that my animation could become so perfect…"

"Well like I said before, to take in you happy is why I live. I exist solely for you,"she said while kissing my chest.

"Marcus ?"Angel then asked, resting her head on my articulatio humeri. Her eyes seemed to be glowing in the dark.

"Yeah ?"

"What do we do if we can't be together ?"

"Then we leave. We'll farewell and go somewhere where there will be zip standing between us. I love you, Angel. I love you more than you could possibly imagine."

"You're awry about that,"she hummed as she gave a cold-shoulder smile,"I know how much you love me, because I love you just as much."

As she pulled away, a smile crossed her lips and looked down, seeing that I was once again shake hard."wellspring, looks like you're ready for round 2,"she said coyly.

"Are you kidding ? The friction match just started, I'm just getting warmed up !"I said, wrapping my blazon around her and kissing her.



"Ugh, I hate wearing these,"I muttered as I tried to keep the back of my nightgown closed.

I was in the hospital to get my brain scanned and check the stage of my Cancer. Angel was with me and my parents were in the waiting room. She had a affectionate smile completely devoid of reverence or concern.

"What, not even a little worrying ?"I teased as I walked over.

"Of class not, I know you are too unattackable to give into this disease. Besides, as long as I am alive, I won't let you die."

With a quick smile, I grasped her mitt and placed it on my bureau."As long as your heart is beating, mine will quiver as well."

She kissed me and gave me a loving grinning."I'll hold you to that promise."

The threshold of the room opened and a nurse poked her head in."Marcus Clive, we're ready."

I looked at Angel and kissed her on the forehead. The two of us separated and I followed the nurse into the room with the MRI. The nurse handed me a pair of earplugs and I climbed up onto the bench, lying down so that it could load me into the machine. In the cramped tube, I could hear the buzzing of the MRI kicking to life. For several minutes, I listened to the machine whirring as my brain was scanned and sighed with relievo when it finally stopped.


In one of the exam rooms, my parents, Angel, and I were waiting for the results. Dr. Henry Hubert Turner walked in and put up the printed x-ray."This is practically a miracle, the tumors have shrunk to the point where they are barely noticeable and have lost all of their influence on your health."

I grinned and held holy man's hand."So my cancer is gone ?"

"Not completely, but it seems like there is something that is keeping it in check. We certainly didn't see results like these with the chemo or radiation treatment. It could be an anatomic defense mechanism or there is something in your environs causing it. The cancer could return if whatever is helping you disappears, but congratulations, you're winning the battle."

I looked at backer and could see the care and tender love in her eyes."Thank you."





Chapter 3



It was the starting time day after vacation, and everyone was following his or her morning routine. holy man and I were trying to enter out how we would survive the day without each other.

"The tutor will be here at eight, and he'll be home-schooling you for a few months while we figure out where you can go for a real education,"I said as I pulled on my backpack.

"I'll miss you,"she murmured while kissing me.

We tried to push aside everyone watching us.

My siblings, parents, and I went outside, with Phil, Emily, and I being driven to school by our dad. The February weather seemed especially low temperature, and I realized it was because I didn't have my arm around Angel. As we drove down the jolty driveway, I could find my body becoming colder and colder with every inch of distance between us. But I was also in a goodness mood ; I would be going back to schoolhouse pain-free, and with Angel in my life, nil in the world could smart me.



It was gym class and the subject of the day was station exercises. The middle school had been split up into areas, each with a different physical exertion or activity to be performed for a set total of time. Arriving at the chin-up post, I jumped up onto the bar with zestfulness. I normally hated gym class with every fiber of my being, but my good mood and deficiency of hurting was making me restless.

"I thought you couldn't be in gym social class because of your Cancer the Crab ?"one of the other educatee asked, watching me move like a piston on the bar.

"I found the perfect treatment."

After a twelve airlift, I finally jumped off and landed on the floor. My brawn were twitching from the relievo of no pain.

"Tom is coming back to school tomorrow, and I think he is going to complain your ass,"another scholarly person said as he started doing chin-ups.

I chuckled and cracked my brass knucks."That punk has been home-schooled all this time for some minor harm while I barely missed a day while being in dateless full-body suffering. What a coward. Whatever, if he wants to struggle me, he can go ahead. It's not like he can do anything to hurt me."



As the day wore on, I missed Angel Falls more and more. I longed to look into her eyes, to take heed her sweet voice, and to accommodate her in my arms. I would sit in class, looking out the window. Everything around me was drowned out, as she was the exclusively matter on my idea.



I was nervous as the bus got closer and closer to my house. The instant the bus stopped at my driveway and the doors opened, I bolted out, running as fast as I could. I ran up the long unpaved driveway, ignoring the cold. I didn't even notice as my foot broke through the ice over a mysterious puddle and was submerged up past my ankle in icy water system. I kept running until I got to the star sign and wrenched open the door. I took a gradation inside and backer jumped into my arms, kissing me passionately. Funny, the two of us together reminded me of those old John Calvin and Hobbes comics I used to read.

"I missed you,"I said while pulling off my coat and backpack.

"I missed you too,"she whispered.

We made our way upstairs and into the bedroom. Instead of throwing ourselves onto the bed, we crashed into the wall by the window, not even noticing as we ripped our clothes off and licked the inside of each early's mouths. As soon as angel's jean and panties were off, I got down on my knees and buried my rim and knife in her dessert puss. Lathering her insides and drinking her pith, I was on swarm 9 while simultaneously making Angel moan in ecstasy. Her slit tasted so sweet and was so soft, I actually lifted her up and let her rest both her legs on my shoulder joint so that I could delve even bass with my glossa. Having ripped off her shirt and bra, Angel Falls was massaging her breasts with one hand and running her finger through my whisker, stammering how good it felt and how much she had missed my touch. While working diligently, I couldn't aid but search up and admire her full tit, dominating my view as if I was standing at the base of two mountains.

Without the little pause, I performed my much-enjoyed obligation until holy person experienced her first off climax, filling the house with her shrill calls of XTC. While she stepped back down onto the ground with wonky legs, I stood up and fully undressed. She was quickly quick for me, and without wasting fourth dimension, she wrapped her sleeve around my neck opening and her legs around my waist while I entered her. Holding her against the wall, I began thrusting with thick, hefty shoves, slamming the head of my cock against the entrance to her uterus over and over. Each time I forced myself into her, Angel would secrete a beautiful yelp of happiness and her clutches would momentarily slacken from the deep shudder running throughout her consistence

As much as I loved being able-bodied to go deeper than common, the inefficiencies and deficiency of comfort of the position quickly drained our solitaire. As if reading each other's judgement, I pulled out of holy man just as she unwrapped her legs from around my waist. With a coy grinning on her cheek, she turned around and stood by the windowpane, shaking her shapely ass at me. Grinning, I brushed her hair's-breadth aside and ran my spit up her spinal column, brought it up to the back of her ear, and then began kissing her neck to try and nonverbally carry my gratitude and describe to her just how consummate she was.

With my dick rock strong and literally pulsating with each beat of my ticker, I got behind Angel Falls and entered her with simplicity, drawing a blissful hum from the penetration. After a few tentative CVA to get accustomed to the movements and angle, I placed my custody on Angel's rose hip and immediately began hammering her with the speed of a woodpecker. She was pushed up against the window, crying out joyfully as I fucked her. Each and every time, I would slam into her with all of my durability, entering as deeply as possible and as fast as possible. With each powerful thrust, Angel's breasts would slam against the window, and with the coldness of the glass, her nipple quickly became the like gumdrops, while her hidrosis and breath left a beautiful imprint of her workforce and bureau on the window. I don't know which sounded better, the clapping of her taut ass against my lap or her breasts against the window.

"Oh god, Marcus ! It feels so good ! You're driving me crazy !"

Wanting to go the panorama to the bed, I put my blazon under Angel's knees and picked her up. Angel just thought I was changing the position again and began grinding her pussy against my cock as I held her up, moaning and grunting like a state of nature animal. More than happy to spoil her, I began lifting her up and down with my weapon while using my low-down eubstance to thrust up into her. To the wet auditory sensation of her womanhood getting penetrated over and over again by my peter, holy man leaned back and we began to snog, quite gently in dividing line to the wild ass just two animal foot away.

Soon my implements of war began to ache and I decided that it was time to move on. Gently, I set angel down on the bed, momentarily pulling out of her. Knowing what I wanted, she held herself up on the edge on her hands and knee, inviting me back in. I accepted the invite and mounted her like a dog, drawing bracing moans and cries of happiness as I fucked her with everything I had and with renewed speed. The unanimous menage was filled with the clapping sound of soma against flesh as I drove into holy person with all the power I could muster, desperate to live up to and pleasure her.

For an hour and a half, we continued like that, continuously switching posture and screwing like there was no tomorrow. Our bodies had been starved of each other all day and we were desperate to score up for lost time. Eventually, we stopped for a gaolbreak, simply to charm our breather and chip in my manhood a suspension. Now was my favorite component ; Angel and I holding each early as we let our physical structure relax from the sensual act of beloved committed only here and now ago.

"How was your day ?"I asked as I could feel Angel's gentle breathing slow to its usual pace.

"Kind of oil production. The coach gave me a small exam to see what my head remembered. He was fairly surprised by how well I did, saying that it was amazing how I remembered how to do algebra but didn't even acknowledge my finally public figure,"she hummed, pressing herself tightly against me.

With my chin resting on her shoulder, I smiled and gently brushed aside a lock chamber of fuzz over her face, tucking it behind her ear."If only the globe knew who you really were."

"wellspring it is because to you. I may not cause been born with memories of my own, but I do have your retentivity. So thanks for the help. How was your day ?"

"Great. It was so nice to be without pain. I can never even start to show my gratitude for saving me."

"You don't need to thank me, just love me."

"Some hoi polloi didn't believe me when I said that I found the perfect treatment for my pain…"

Angel chuckled.

"So a lot of people are starting to think I never had Cancer the Crab. By tomorrow, probably half of the schooling will guess I had been faking it to get attention."

She looked at me with unbelief.

"Don't concern, I don't give a rat's ass what anyone there thinks. I don't want any champion. the pits, I don't even need to recognize anyone there. I severed all necktie with almost everyone else on the planet long before I met you. You're the alone one I need."

Several silent moments passed by.

"Something else is on your mind."

"How'd you sleep with ?"

Angel pressed her buttock against mine, and just as I was about to call up she was going to whisper something in my ear, she instead gave a gentle hum.

"A school bully that I beat up is coming back tomorrow. He was one of the people that tormented me for the retiring five years."

Angel looked at me and I could see trouble in her heart."Marcus, I am so sorry."

"Its mulct. There is a beneficial chance that he will try to fight me tomorrow, maybe then I can get some revenge. death fourth dimension, I strangled him, shattered his olfactory organ, broke his eye socket, and busted out all of his tooth, but he deserves a much more wicked punishment."

"Well just don't kill him. I don't want the copper to take you away."

"Yes, dear."



The next day, I was shoved in the residence hall and knocked to the ground.

"Get up you son of a bitch !"I heard Tom shout behind me.

citizenry in the manse immediately stopped to watch.

"Showtime,"I said to myself with a smile.

I stood up and faced Tom. His nose was crooked and his brim were covered in scratch from getting cut up by his teeth. Many of his teeth had been put back in, however, most were fake. He would never be able to smile without people laughing at him. I had a devious smiling on my side as I pulled off my coat and backpack. Standing before him, I released a palmy laugh, feeling my furor mix with the sense of invincibility I had gained since meeting Angel.

"You want to fight me ? You think you can even offend me ? ! You're nothing more than an dirt ball !"

"I'll kill you, you bastard !"Tom howled, pulling back his arm and punching me in the face of the face, just below the eye.

My nerve whipped back with his fist never breaking association, but Tom's arrogant grin was lost when he saw that I was still smiling, even with his fist pressed against my cheek.

"You think you can spite me ? You think you can scare me ? Nothing you do will ever strive me ! I've outgrown your puny human world !"

I lashed out and punched Tom in the nose with all the strength in my dead body, literally holding aught back. He staggered back with his hands over his check nozzle, giving a muffled howl of pain in the ass while parentage streamed out from between his fingers. My clenched fist was shaking, not in pain or fearfulness, but happiness. The grinning on my font was a bloodthirsty maniacal one, burning with the haunted fire of the past and the fearless flame of the future. I was finally free.

"I've experienced my own death, witnessed the end of all reason, suffered more agony in the go few months than you will ever experience in your life, and finally discovered happiness through something beyond your inclusion ! There is nothing in the public that can I can reverence or desire, naught you can do to injure me ! I've better free of this universe and outgrown you !"

I lunged forward and punched Tom in the face. The blow grazed his forehead, sparing him most of the impact and allowing him to turn in a biff straight to my gut. While it was strong enough to knock the malarky out of me, after the levels of botheration I had endured, it felt like I had just gotten hit by a beach nut. Laughing like a maniac, I stood unsloped and again punched him, giving an instant blackamoor eye. Roaring in pain sensation and cult, he tackled me and slammed me against the wall, then began punching me in the facial expression wildly. While his puncher decimated my physical body, they were ineffectual to rob me of my smile and assurance. Sporting two dark middle and bruises across my face, I reached up and caught his clenched fist, stopping the barrage.

"What the fuck are you ? !"he screamed, ineffectual to believe I was still conscious.

"Karma. You ruined my life-time with your cruelness, now I will turn that cruelty on you ten fold. I shall show you the lawful meaning of despair, just as you have shown me. You shall study the conflict between our storey of hatred."

I slammed my elbow into his face and fractured his eye socket. Tom staggered back, and without any reluctance, I delivered a punch to the gut that made him crumple, granting me the perfective tense opportunity to slam dance my knee in his face and burst his already broken nose. Nearly frantic from the bother, Tom was essentially helpless as I began pummeling him with my fists, beating him wildly until my knuckles bled. I had to admit, the fact that he stayed on his feet was applaudable, but that only gave me a continuous understanding to hold punching him.

Within seconds, it was Tom set against the wall, completely at the mercy of my punches. His human face was a bloody passel, even worse than mine, but I wouldn't occlusion. As long as I didn't kill him, I had nothing to worry about.

‘ Thank you, Angel. Thank you for setting me complimentary,'I thought to myself before a teacher grabbed me and pulled me away.



Three calendar week dangling, a minor price to pay for my vengeance. I was golden not to suffer been expelled, but once again, Tom throwing the first biff was all the Department of Defense I needed. My parents, who were both infuriated that I had gotten suspended yet again but sympathetic when they saw how bruised up my face was, brought me household early.

"Oh my god, are you all right ? !"Angel fearfully exclaimed, meeting me at the door and examining my face.

"Yeah, I'm mulct, but if I miss anymore days after this, I won't be able-bodied to graduate and will cause to claim summer school."

"Your mother and I are going to discuss your penalisation. You had sound Bob Hope we don't leave you out in the back thou with a tent and a trash bag to sleep in,"my dad said as he and my mom walked into the living room.

"Come on, let's get some ice on those bruise,"Angel murmured, leading me to the kitchen.

"My suspension is actually pretty in force word. Except for when your tutor comes and my kin returns, we'll have the menage to ourselves for three weeks."



Once again, my parents were distraught on whether to be mad at me or be accepting of my actions. backer and I were ecstatic. During the morning, Angel and I would sleep in for an extra hour, wake up and make lovemaking while half-asleep, then go have breakfast, and wait for Angel's tutor to shew up. Once he arrived, I would help her with her piece of work in all the way I could. After the tutor left, Angel and I would make lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon chatting or making love.



One good afternoon, Angel and I were taking a walk through the woodwind. Snow was gently falling from the cloudy sky and there wasn't even the slightest breeze. We were walking hired hand in hand, just enjoying the glass-like picture of flash-frozen nature. We stepped into a vast meadow, transformed into a sea of coke banking company by the ageless winter.

"Ready ?"

"Ready."

We both fell back into a snow bank, letting the shed light on mattress shock absorber our fall as if we were immune to gravity.

"Beautiful,"Angel breathed as we gazed up into the falling snow.

She looked at me and placed her soft finger on my cheek. I pulled off my baseball mitt and did the same. saint didn't shake as my cool down hand brushed against her easygoing porcelain skin. From her handwriting on my cheek and my hand on hers, I could feel warmth seeping into my body.

"Marcus, there is something I have been thinking about for a spell. It was something that you said to me on the day we met. It was when you were telling me why you were about to kill yourself. You said that you hated and were disgusted by the human subspecies. What did you signify ? I have your memories, but I don't have it away your thought processes."

I sighed as I tried to intend of how I was going to explain it."When I was in that schoolhouse for troubled kids, my soul was entire of rage. Not only were my tormenters getting off without penalty, I had been locked away like a criminal. I looked at the system that had screwed me over and the twisted psychological science of the ruffian that had made my life a keep hell. I realized that if I were to understand the forces that had ruined my liveliness, I would need to realize the heart of those forces. I began to await at the man backwash as if I was not human. I looked at history and I studied the citizenry around me. I looked at their flaws, their imperfection, their helplessness, and their predictability. I was disgusted by what I had found.

human race is zippo more than an evolutionary dead end, the result of our root becoming smart enough to exist in the coarse wilderness and thereby losing their evolutionary drive. When former humans overcame the obstruction that get in the way of the lives of species, they found that there were no longer any obstacles that required genius function eminent than what they had. True, we made some technological progression : we invented weapons to defend ourselves, car to help us rule the earth's imagination, and music to exsert our sprightliness, but we lacked the intelligence to use them wisely.

We became smart enough to build community of interests, but remained stupid enough to fight over resourcefulness. We became fresh enough to use flame, but remained stunned enough to use it to demolish nature. We became smart enough to excogitate thousands and languages and organized religion, but remained stunned enough to be unable to find compromise or peace in a bingle one. We're caught in an evolutionary oblivion, where any opposing force that requires encephalon function higher than what we already have would undoubtedly defeat us. The better you become, the harder it is to keep going, and we've reached our elevation. darn, it is one pathetically abruptly peak. Now we're stuck with the ability to take in things that we're too pillock to use properly, and underdevelop mind that aren't prepared for the affair they think they can do.

I turned my back on this pitiful species and severed all link with this world."I then softened my tone and pressed my forehead against hers."Screw the world, I don't need it anymore. As long as I have you, I am content. Mankind means nothing to me. You are all that is important."

saint's centre sparkled as she smiled."Can we head back ? Its cold out here."

A flavour of confusion crossed my facial expression as I moved my hand from her cheek to her neck."You don't spirit chilled at all."

"Yeah, but its too cold out here for us to show each former how very much we love each former,"she said as she kissed me.



Our romantic vacation eventually came to an end, and I realized I was basically getting shot with a double-barrel shotgun. Not only were we going to separated during the day again, but also being out for three calendar week meant that I was drowning in missed family and schoolwork. I would have to work on for hours every evening to try and get catch up, meaning that I still couldn't be with Angel as much as I wanted to. If I didn't claw my way back up from the abysm, then it meant summer school and no graduation exercise for me, which meant that the clip I could spend with Angel would be decimated. But after dinner when Angel and I would go up to bed, the supply ship erotic love that had accumulated during the day would be released with alone passion.



With the arrival of April, bound fever was injected into the weather like steroid hormone. All of the snow was blasted away by the sun and the temperature was reaching into the high 50's, basically tropic climate for Mainers. I had almost an ill feeling about the warmth, because I knew that the summer would be unbearably hot. With the fond weather thawing everything out, Angel was getting me to do the one matter that no one else could make me do : exercise. I had fair upper-body strength, but when it came to cardiovascular… I was a wreck. All those year of lounging and staying uninvolved with everything had come back to haunt me. I hated all exercise, but being with Angel made it tolerable… not that going for a daily jog didn't make me feel like my lungs were filled with razor blades.

One afternoon, Angel and I were jogging through the park by my home base. Actually, she was jogging ; I was shortening my lifespan by trying to celebrate up. We stopped when we finally broke out from under the tree, feeling the sunlight on us. I was leaning on my genu, trying to take in my breathing time. I nearly collapsed from relief when I heard her speak those four gilt give-and-take :"Let's subscribe to a break."

In the shadow of the branches and budding leave of absence, we rested beneath the branch of a tree diagram on the bound of the meadow. saint was sitting against the tree trunk, and I was lying down with my head in her lap. The air was filled with the sound of chirping razzing and fauna taking advantage of the warm weather. She was humming a balmy tune and I could find blissful relaxation seeping into my tired consistency like rain on soil. The fresh fountain air was mending my aching lungs, the scent of the warming dry land and the revived plants was making me disappear in bliss, the lovingness of Angel's body was easing my muscles like a aristocratic massage, and the soporific notes of her humming felt like a soothing lullaby.

"You know, back when I was sick, I used to contemplate life and last and what they meant. It wasn't a morbid black letter thing, just a curiosity, a preparation for what I thought was coming."

"Oh really ? What did you come up with ?"she asked as she leaned down and kissed me on the forehead.

"I don't believe there is any meaning in life-time or this universe, no economic value or purpose other than what we create for ourselves. But even going against that and all the neurons in my brain screaming at me to be logical, I am convinced that there is an afterlife. I'm not talking about a paradise or a infernal region, but just some plane of existence where the sentience remains."

"How do you forecast ?"

"Memories, everything we think and experience is merely a reaction to outcome and our environs, a show recoil that takes the form of a memory. Consider the amount of money of prison term it takes for data from your common sense to be received and process by your brain. It takes maybe a few nanoseconds ? But consider everything that can come about and has happened within the couplet of a few nanoseconds, and in increments of time even shorter. Outside of our human perception, a nanosecond could palpate like a century.

Even now, every thinking that passes through my mind and everything I feel, they all occur before prospicient before I am truly aware of them, in which case, my detection of them is really nothing more than a store. I'm always living in the past times, my mind trailing behind the flow of clip, only reacting when info is memorized and played like a flashback. Every second is just a memory for your idea, while your consistency moves on through the future.

So if that's true up, is it possible that my whole life could just be a single memory ? A movie playing in my head that is eighteen years long and on-going, with my mind always wondering what's going to pass next while my body and the world around me create each new scene about to be viewed ? In which case, I could be remembering this from a hundred old age into the hereafter, having lived an incredibly long life. This conversation might not be happening in rattling time, but is actually something that occurred a hundred years ago and I am currently remembering it in really time.

But memories can not exist without the mind. A movie can not exist if the disk or taping it's imprinted on doesn't exist. Therefor, if I am a computer memory, a continuous store being relived from some point in the future, then that memory must go on forever. Maybe the remembering doesn't stop… just because my body stops. The alone way this storage can extend is if there is a mind able to fiddle it back, to retain the data. So when I die, my thinker will be unable to play the memory and I will give up to survive in my current form. But I do exist, meaning that I still exist in the future tense, and as long as I exist in the future, I exist in the present, meaning that I exist for all eternity, but my course is merely unlike from what it once was."

Angel giggled."That's fascinating. I'd making love to get wind more."

"Sorry, but that's all I've got so far. oral presentation of life and death, I have to ask, where did you come from ? I've spent More metre being grateful that you're here than just wondering how you came to be. You told me before that you have my retentiveness, but I don't know how that's possible. You were originally a figment of my imagination, right ?"

"Yes, that is right."

"Then how can you go from being imaginary to tangible ? How can you go from being inside my mind to having a strong-arm body ?"

Angel just smiled and again kissed me on the os frontale."The day is soon coming when I will excuse everything to you, but it is not today. Do not care, do not be afraid, just enjoy the acquaint and smell forwards to the futurity. Always remember that we shall be together until the end of time."

"As long as those Christian Bible remain lawful, I don't maintenance what happens,"I said sleepily before closing my eyes and dozing off, listening to the sound of Angel Falls's Henry Sweet humming.



School was coming to an end and everyone was getting antsy. holy person and I couldn't be felicitous. She would still be homeschooled during the day, but we would have all summer to be with each early, and by the cutis of my teeth, I had managed to puddle up all my missed study. Oh, and graduation was coming. On one of the last few days of schoolhouse, I was in woodshop category. The degree had been closed, so we were allowed to just use the machinery for whatever we wanted. I was using the gear-controlled table practice to work on a special project.

One of the other scholarly person walked over to me."rumour say that you have a girlfriend."

I didn't even acknowledge him and just continued with my work.

"Is it someone here or from another school ?"

By his whole step, I knew that it would be a bad idea to answer. If I gave a name, everyone would instantly try to find out whoever it was. multitude would hassle her for being with me and try to anger me by making salacious suggestions about her. I knew human nature well, and I knew what went on in the mind of eminent shoal jackasses. I just continued my work, not even looking at him. When I moved to a superpower sander and began smoothening my foundation, the guy got the substance that he wouldn't get anything out of me, and left me to my work.



The day had finally come. It was graduation for the year of 2012. It was a blisteringly hot summer day, because for some cause, schoolhouse decide that it's best to let all the student gather together in polyester robe with wide dress pants and shirt ( if you're a guy underneath ) when give turns to summer. And of course, in a school with no AC, all the alum and their families would be herded into the sweaty gymnasium like an Auschwitz oven. In the hour before the ceremonial occasion, the lobby were flooded with student and family appendage, all of them sweating bullets, talking about futurity plans, and reminiscing about the past twelve years.

Then a ripple passed through the building. The graduation observance was not about to protrude, no ; it was something else. At the entranceway to the school day, with my parents and sib on either side, angel had arrived to watch the ceremony. Everyone stared at her, completely hypnotized. She was wearing a skirt that showed off her porcelain legs and a striped top that put her ample breasts on display without showing too a good deal cleavage. No one had ever seen a someone with half the beauty as this stranger. With fervid flushed hair that hung down the length of her book binding, piercing blue air eye that looked like they could see into your very soul, and a smile that was awe-inspiring in its beauty, she was the definition of ne plus ultra. I had arrived at the school earlier, so my family line just had to find me and then their seats.

Drawn to my as if with a sixth sentiency, angel lead my fellowship down the hallway of the school. Every student and even their parents gawked at the goddess passing them by. A few people even tried to record her on their telephone set. The boys stared at her hungrily, wondering what beautiful paradise she had been hiding from all their lives. The girls were all envious, glad that such a perfect animate being hadn't been in school with them, fifty they would all be invisible in comparability.

They arrived at the depository library, where most of the students had gathered, as it was the nerveless lieu in the building. Just like in the Charles Francis Hall, everyone stared at Angel like she was a talent from some divine being, a dish unmatched by any human being. They followed her with their optic, unable to believe such a gem existed, and why, of all people, she was walking over to me. I was sitting by the computers, trying to cipher out how to redo my tie. I had taken it off soon after arriving at the school, desperate for any relief, but I didn't know how to get it right. Sweating like a pot roast and cursing, I fumbled with my tie until holy person arrived, the luminousness of my life.

A tender grinning on her sweet mouth, she leaned down and kissed me. To everyone watching, it was alike reality had shattered. For a fille, as arresting and perfect as Angel, to be kissing me of all people, it had to be some fell trick. She then redid my tie, and after she and my family congratulated me and wished me luck, they departed to find their rear in the gym. As soon as they were gone, everyone rushed in, desperate to acknowledge who she was and asking every question they could think of. I just sat silently, smiling with the mentation that I had her in my life.



The ceremony was even worse than I thought, with the gym turning into a sweaty, stuffy sweat room, and my wearing apparel feeling like wool blankets. The passion was so intense that I honestly thought I blacked out a couple times. I was pretty much buried cryptic in Satan's fervent rectum. Trying to ignore the high temperature, I focused my view on the graduation itself. Before I met Angel, I pretty much hated everyone around me, and after I met her, I was simply apathetic. But sitting there, surrounded by people I spent my childhood with and saw five mean solar day a week for twelve years, I was suddenly overwhelmed with nostalgia. I may not have had very many happy memories, but so practically of my life was spent around these people. I had always hated variety and bask act, and this was one of the corking change of my life, in which I was going to fall back so many people that I had grown up with.

Then there were all the memories of schooling itself. All of the deterrent example, the labor, sempiternal twenty-four hours that I thought would never end. Those were really over. well-nigh of it had been a pull, but there were still memories that would always stay on, and some metre that were almost even enjoyable. And now, that's all they were : memories. I'm not gallant of the fact that I almost began to deplumate up, thinking about this over and over again. But maybe it's in force that I was still human enough to finger this way.

I looked around the gym, trying to find Angel. As beautiful as she was, I couldn't spot her in the sea of faces, but I knew she was watching me, or at least trying to. I may have been losing the faithful citizenry I had to friends, but now I had her. Finally, it was time to receive diplomas, and with our names being called, everyone moved in an unscramble line. My name being called, I stepped forward and received the lowly leather playscript with my diploma inside. To think, I was finally done, and now, my new life could begin.



Later that night, after thoroughly showering and hydrating, I stepped outdoors to see what the consideration were. There wasn't a single mosquito around, but millions of promising fireflies. The even was cloudless with a gentle but warm breeze that seemed to acquit the perfume-like odor of the changing of time of year. It was absolutely perfect for what I had in mind.

"Angel, do you want to take a walkway through the woods with me ?"

Sitting on the couch and watching TV, she looked at me and cocked her head to one face. The diminished of grin crossed her lips as she looked into my centre."I would love to."

We grabbed our horseshoe and headed out into the Wood. There were so many fireflies that we did not need a flashlight ; the worm perfectly illuminated the forest. Their lightheaded be sick a mystical aura on everything in the woods and altered their coloration, the leaves gained a obscure blue-green shadowiness and the tree tree trunk seemed to stimulate a purplish tinge. The illumination was almost haunting. I could see what everything was, but my sense of space and perception was warped. I could achieve out to refer a foliage and my hand would only drop dead through its shadow. I could take a step towards something several meter away and realize that it was right hand in presence of me the wholly time. The timberland was filled with endless dark from the luminousness, shadows that seemed to contain secrets of nature itself.

I watched Angel as she moved through the afforest like a ghost. Her heart were filled with wonder as the fireflies hovered around her like poove. In the light of the louse, her crimson hair shined like rubies and her spicy eyes glowed like the moon. I remembered the day that I had met her, when I she had truly been born into my world, having materialized out of sparse air. The way she was wrapped in the light… was supernatural.

I closed my hand around hers."There is a stead I want to show you. Judging by what we have seen so far, I'm guesswork that this place will be a workplace of art."



A babbling creek carved its way through the soft wood territory. The brook was about a infantry in diameter and not even an inch deep. respective smaller rivers connected to it like venous blood vessel and created islands, dotted with ferns and bush. The creek led to a pool, about the size of it of a deep brown table and a foot trench. Surrounding the pond was a dam of rocks to assert its form. following to the pool was a Boulder, bathed in Moon and wrapped in moss. There was a symphony orchestra echoing through the clearing. It was a mix of the babble brook, the croaking of frogs, the chirping of crickets, and the whistle of razzing, all forming a melody that no orchestra could match.

"Gorgeous,"Angel gasped.

"When I was a kid, I always used to come out here to play. Nature was the only friend I needed. All these little rivers and islands were a sort of irrigation project. These days, I come here just to think and have some peace."

"Marcus, this is so beautiful."

"holy person, there is something I want to ask you."

She turned to me.

"I know that we are too Whitney Moore Young Jr. to get married, but I was thinking that this could be like a temp IOU until we are old enough and I can give you a diamond ring."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a humble velvet jewelry box I had borrowed from my sister. I opened it up, revealing a ring.

I had crafted it in woodshop and made it as smooth as marble, using graceful rosewood to congratulate her hair's-breadth. Golden conducting wire had been stamped into the wood with just the right amount of force, allowing it to stay in without adhesives and without crushing or fracturing the wood. It had been arranged into a iteration design, almost like a Celtic figure. There was no ball field on the ring ; instead, there was a bead-sized glass pebble. In the methamphetamine hydrochloride was a mathematical group of four wires : gold, red, disconsolate, and green, all intertwined in a Calidris canutus. I had used magnifying chalk and tweezers to shape the conducting wire. Had my hands trembled like they used to, it would have been out of the question. I had learned to seal things in methamphetamine hydrochloride on the net and had done it all myself.

She was breathless.

"saint, will you be my future fiancée ?"

"Yes, of course, Marcus,"she whispered as she put on the ring, the wooden band fitting flawlessly.

I placed my hands on her cheek and looked into her beautiful eyes.

"I love you, Angel. I love you so much that I can't exist without you. You are what keeps me alive."

"I know, I was just about to say the Lapplander matter,"she cooed as she kissed me.



saint and I were in bed, making erotic love in the missionary office as a way to celebrate her new ring and the hope we had made. We had been like this for half an hr, moving as slowly and gently as swarm. As I slid back and Forth, Angel's tongue danced and rolled in my mouth, filling it with her gratifying gustatory perception. Fulfilling the inevitable transition period, I could feel all the muscles in my pelvic region tightening and instinctively increased my pep pill, trying to coax my building orgasm. As my feat increased, holy man began panting heavily in anticipation. My ejaculation was signaled with a deep grunt, following the jettison of various blasts of cum. Angel groaned as my seeded player filled her, but she wasn't having an sexual climax ; it was more like she was aroused by the intuitive feeling of me cumming inside her.

"I think it's time we got a little more energetic,"I whispered in her ear.

"Hold on, just let me take off my halo. I don't want it to break."

While she placed the mob on her bedside table, I sat up and stretched, sore from maintaining one position for so long. Looking back down, I smiled as I gazed upon angel's flawless body, almost glowing in the darkness from her arousal.

"I'm ready, put it wherever you want."

The way she had said it, it was more than just an invitation, it was a suggestion.

"backer, you really stand for wherever ?"

She looked up at me and smiled, her eyes full-of-the-moon of love."I don't know why you never made the move yourself. I thought I had made it clear : I exist solely for you, every inch of by trunk belongs to you to be used to bring you happiness. Use me however you want, and I shall happily and gratefully carry through any desire you may have and welcome whatever you want to do to me."

I was left completely speechless, ineffective to process the emotions rushing through me. I slowly leaned down and kissed her."You are the definition of perfection."

As I sat back up, Angel spread her legs and raised them, granting me admittance to her plump for door. Hard as steel, I pressed the head of my cock against her prick, hoping the semen from my orgasm and juice from her pussy would act as sufficient lubricant.

"If it hurts, secern me and I'll stop."

"Don't worry, nothing you do could ever anguish me."

proclivity forward with one hand on her articulatio humeri and the other against the mattress for documentation, I took a deep breathing spell and slowly entered her. Feeling my manhood penetrating her anus, holy man gave a gentle whine of stimulation while I tried to keep my breathing calm. As if welcoming me to go in deeper, her SOB seemed to suddenly loosen with each centimeter I delved. Her interior was so soft that I honestly couldn't resolve whether or not it was better than normal sex. While it was certainly taut, it was only tight enough to make me feel good and it did not bound my movement or create unwanted friction. It certainly felt different from her pussy. It was a much debauchee pattern, more than form-fitting for my manhood.

Before I knew it, my whole peter was buried late in her motherfucker, and Angel's breathing had quickened as she tried to become accustomed to the mass. But nowhere in her facial expression and eyes did I see pain or discomfort. Reassured, I slowly pulled out, causing Angel to fall in an equivocal pant and for me to once again hope that there was enough lubrication. Deciding to stop thinking about it, I pushed back into her in a 1 confident shove, drawing a whine of felicity from Angel and a grunt of atonement from me. Damn that felt good.

With our bodies perpendicular, I gently pulled out and immediately forced myself back in. Like before, Angel yelped in pleasure and showed nothing but joy at the superstar. The trend was a lot easier the third gear clip around ; I felt like I could move in and out with minimum soreness. Now familiar, I began building up to my favorite speed, quickly causing the bed to shake and shake. As I slammed into her arsehole over and over and forced myself deep inside her, angel gave a delicate but continuous cry of happiness. From the expression on her face, she appeared to be in pain, but from the spirit in her eyes, the tone of her rosiness, and the sound of her voice, I knew she was in a State of euphoria.

I increased my speed even further, fucking her with all the military capability in my consistence. From the power of my poke, saint was forced to deem onto the bed for pricy life and seize with teeth down on a pillow to inhibit her vociferation while her breasts bounced wildly. I kept my eyes focused on her, admiring her ravisher, her kindness, her intimate openness, and her soul. For ten minutes I kept up that yard, burning through my stamina like there was no limit. At last, Angel released an orgasmic moan and came, causing a miscellanea of her juice and my semen from earlier to splash out of her pussy.

I slowly pulled out of her, completely raise but feeling like I would reel over if I didn't catch my breathing spell.

Angel looked up at me with a attendant loving smile."Here, you relax and enjoy yourself. It's my turn to take care of you."

I gladly lied down with my cock hard and waiting like a drop tree, and with her heart filled with athirst lust, holy person leaned over and ran her lingua along the lance, sending a shiver up my vertebral column. She repeated the legal action, licking it another two times before pointing it upwards and taking it in her sass. tactual sensation so serious that I could barely go, I just rested with a big stupid grin on my face and a shifting groan passing from my lips. For three glorious minutes, holy man's foreland bobbed up and down as she gobbled on my cock like it was made of ice and frosty interior was the antidote to a poison.

Once she felt like I was make to continue, she raised her point and left a large glob of saliva on the head of my stopcock for lubrication, and then brought her body up to my lap. Gasping from the impression of penetration, she guided my rooster into her bunghole and pushed herself down onto it, taking in the solid thing. Just like the number 1 meter we had sex, Angel leaned forward on her men and knees and began bouncing her ass on my tool, moving her lower consistency in a whiplash motion. While she moved, I sat up and licked her chest, savoring the penchant and sensation of her soft build against my tongue.

After a few mo, she shifted her military position and leaned back, now riding me with her whole body bouncing. While I could no longer knead her mammilla with my tongue, I could now watch them resile like before, and that was just as good. Riding my cock like it was a pogo stick, saint was no longer able to conquer her cries and groan of pleasure, but I was too hornlike to worry. Before prospicient, I felt my stamina return and decided that I wanted to retake the lead.

Without me having to verbalize or even seduce eye middleman, holy man knew what I wanted and acted. Without dismounting, she turned around and leaned back, resting her feet on my knees. Curling my torso with my manpower on her hips, I began thrusting deep into her with all my enduringness, wishing that I could see her from the other side. While I fucked her bastard, Angel rubbed and fingered her pussy, wiping up every glob of seminal fluid from my to begin with climax and slurping it up with relish. With nothing but her finger, she completely cleaned out her pussy, all while moaning in joy from the sodomy. Being behind her with her on top of me, I was blessed with the fragrance of her hair as it was scattered across me like a swarm of steam, making me finger like I was wiping my face with the softest silk.

We were able to maintain that emplacement for quite a while, at to the lowest degree until my stomach muscles began to burn and pine. Once again, Angel acted without any messaging from me. She dismounted me and then crouched down, hungrily sucking my cock while I licked her slit and worked my fingers in her bunghole. Once we had both had our fill, she turned back around and we exchanged a long passionate kiss. Angel then lied down beside me and I lifted her leg, but after having my hammer cleaned off with Angel's mouth, I decided not to go anal retentive. Instead, I forced my putz into her pussy, and while Angel was surprised, she was more than happy.

Shaking the bed with each jolt, I resumed fucking her with the Saame speed and enthusiasm as before, all the while fondling her tit and kissing her cervix. Being pleasured by three combined stimulations, it wasn't long before holy man came, but at no full stop did I quit. Throughout her moan, I continued fucking her like a machine, only causing her to moan even louder. After maybe five minutes, I felt my second orgasm welling, but that only doubled my push. I increased my speed even further, thrusting into her as hard as possible until at to the lowest degree unleashing a gooey Edward White burst into her slit.

Panting heavily, I pulled out with a string of ejaculate connecting her pussycat to the oral sex of a good deal cock, which was still fully erect. I could cum one Thomas More time, and I knew exactly where to do it. Without disinclination, forced my dick into saint's asshole, making her moan in felicity. By now I was running on smoke, but I did not allow my weariness to slow up me down. I put all of my remaining strength into twenty dollar bill more thrusts, focusing everything I had into pleasuring angel. From the look and sound of it, I was doing my job perfectly, meaning there was zilch left for me to do but finish.

Feeling like the floor was yanked out from under me and my effectiveness was ripped away, I finally ejaculated, pouring every live on little spermatozoon into holy man and giving a deep groan of satisfaction. Trying to stay awake, I pulled out of backer and put her leg down. Both her front and back door were overflowing with cum, and my dick was aching from all the employment it had done.

"I love you, Angel. I don't have intercourse how many clock time I have to say that before I feel like I've gotten the point across, but I love you,"I whispered tiredly as I held her closing.

Giggling, Angel reached out and retrieved her pack, staring at in the swarthiness."Don't worry, Marcus, I know, and I love you just as much."



It was a sweltering Sat good afternoon and my baby, Angel, and I were headed to the mall. I wanted Angel to experience life around people, but that thought always made me chuckle when I realized the lip service : my parents had always nagged at me to do the exact same thing. I was also job-searching, trying to find any places that would so much as gift me an application program bod. Since I hadn't given any thinking to college, I needed to get into the work man as soon as potential and get some experience and security measures, as well as money.

angel was in the vertebral column seat, looking at her ring with a lovesome grinning on her face. The air conditioner was busted so the windows of the car were rolled down.

"I got to stop off at the bank, I left my money at home,"my sister cursed.

"All right, but let's not do the ATM. I need some real AC. Just an oasis of frigidity air would be nice."

I stuck my bridge player out the windowpane, wishing that the relieving chill would reach the rest of my consistency, and Angel leaned forward and wrapped her arms around my neck opening."You can say that again. It's a sweat room back here."



We reached the cant parking lot and braced ourselves once the car stopped. We stepped out onto the sidewalk, all of us gasping as the frying rays of the sun ripped the air from our lungs.

"tinker's dam world-wide warning ! We didn't listen, Al Gore ! We didn't listen !"I joked as we rushed to the bank, making my baby and Angel laugh.

We stepped into the coin bank and all sighed with stand-in as we were hit with that first undulation of cold air.

"I'll just be a minute."

"aim your time,"I said as Angel and I relaxed in two cushioned chairs in the corner.

"So, what variety of job are you looking to get ?"she asked.

"Well I'm hoping for something that is fold to rest home and that will hire me back succeeding summertime. Normally I would look for the third-shift business since I'm a really night owl, but I want to keep our schedule compatible. I don't want one of us to always be asleep when we're together at home."

"So do you have anything that you're saving up for ?"

I smiled."An apartment. As soon as I have a stable job and can make a livelihood wage, I want us to move out and get a station of our own, just the two of us."

"And hopefully when we're both ready, it could be for the three of us,"holy man said sweetly as she kissed me.

Emily came back, stuffing some cash into her wallet."All right field, let's get going."

Just as Angel and I stood up out of our chairs, the door slammed open and three guy wire stormed in artillery in their hand and cheap plastic masks.

"Everybody down !"

"Oh turd, looks like my old circumstances has returned,"I muttered.

I had heard that crime rate rise during heat waves, but I thought that was only in the big cities. This may be the first banking concern looting in Pine Tree State in my lifespan. But all the days for it to chance, why now ? holy man had a look of fright in her optic, but I put my hired hand on hers and could instantly feel her soundbox relax.

"Its all right field, Angel. Let's just do what they say."

Everyone got down on the trading floor and the torpedo gave the order for the burial vault to be emptied. As one of the men began to rob each person in the bank, I could try police siren in the screen background, summoned by the silent alarm.

‘ Oh my fucking god, they didn't bother to cut the alarm or the magnate ? What is their lam vehicle, a unforesightful bus ?'

The man came to the girlfriend and I, holding a plastic bag with the other hostage's wallets and jewelry. We gave him everything we had, but his eye fell to holy man's hand.

"The ring, hand it over !"he demanded, mistaking the glass bead for a gem.

Her eyes widened in revulsion at the prospect of parting with it, her most prise possession."No, please ! Anything but that !"

He grasped her wrist and pulled her up, trying to wrench the ring off her finger.

"Let go of her !"I howled, shoving the man to get him off Angel.

Staggering back, he flinched and his digit pulled the trigger of his gun. My eyes could not suffer caught the ken, but my mind swore that they had, filling me with repulsion beyond verbal description. The lick left the side arm, wrapped in smoke with a empennage of ardour as it spun through the air. Moving right by me, it struck Angel's shoulder and imbedding itself in her flesh. The air was ripped from my lungs as I watched her collapse in a pool of blood line. I felt adrenaline course of study through my veins and my marrow beating with such king that I thought my ribs would shatter. That bullet had struck my very soul, risking me the loss of everything I was and loved. In a majuscule mind-ripping waterspout, all of the ire and infliction in my life surged through my trunk, making me experience like my cadre themselves were being incinerated. Roaring in fierceness, I charged towards the man who had hurt her. He aimed his gun at me and fired, and like her, the bullet slammed into my shoulder and was lodged in the muscle, having narrowly missed breaking bone. adrenaline and rage were keeping me from feeling pain in the ass and allowed my arm to maintain its strength.

I tackled the man and tried to take his weapon. The gun was aimed upwards and a third one shot was fired, striking the command processing overhead sprinkler organisation and triggering a entire rain shower. With the man distracted by the pouring weewee, I ripped the artillery from his hand and fired the survive six jibe at his cohort, but not to pop them. The bullet train pierced their arms and ball up muddle in their moxie, causing them to put down their weapons in pain in the neck and crash. Pulling my victim's face away from his shoulder, I raised my head with my backtalk open up and fall off my teeth into his neck. Everyone in the money box was shocked and terrified, as with rakehell spraying Forth River, I rode the gunmen down to the story. The taste of Albert Gore Jr., the feel and texture of raw flesh, and the sidesplitter of excruciation from my dupe strengthened my rage and pulverized any remaining prohibition and fragment of reason and system of logic. Snarling like an animal, I yanked my psyche back, ripping away his jugular vein venous blood vessel with a cut up strip of flesh and muscle held between my teeth. I spat it out and assault again, this metre closing my jaws around his windpipe and tearing it disembarrass like wrapping it paper.

With my face coated in ancestry and my victim on death's door, I turned and pounced on the indorsement gunman. I was drunk with rage and the urge to kill was all that filled me. Having seen me cannibalize his admirer, the crippled man was desperately reaching for his throw gun, which sat just out of stretch of his halting arm. Grabbing the pistol, I kneeled over the man and began beating him savagely in the head with it as if it were a John Rock. Each impact ripped his peel and blood began to splatter of the end of the gun, landing on the walls and cap. I beat him over and over again, until at utmost, his skull caved in like a Citrullus vulgaris. Getting up, I slowly walked over to the 3rd gunman, who was pleading for mercy and desperately trying to pull himself to the exit. With the water from the sprinklers pouring down on me, the blood of my first victim was washed off my face and out of my mouth. Paying no paying attention to his battle cry, I stomped on the back of hit man with adequate forcefulness to knock the air out of him, then flipped him over and crouched down with my hands outstretched. He screamed in agony as I grabbed the sides of his typeface and gouged his heart out with my pollex. After several seconds, he became silent, bushed with blood and brain matter oozing from his eye sockets.

"Marcus."

I turned around and stared at Angel like a deer in the headlamp. Emily was holding her and tears were streaming from her eyes. The fire of fad in my heart was extinguished, replaced by a deep shiver. I rushed over and Emily moved aside so that I could keep Angel Falls in my arms.

"saint,"I said softly as I wiped away her teardrop, all the while my own snag splashed her grimace.

The heap of her wounding was ripping the warmth from my physical structure, but she had a look of peace on her face as I held her.

"You're going to be all rightfulness. It didn't hit your lungs."

"I know, my love. I'm not going to leave you."

"The bullet is still inside. I need to get it out."

As gently as humanly possible, I placed my fingers on the wound, causing her to whimper in pain. Everyone in the bank watched as I slowly reached into her shoulder joint, moving aside torn bod and splintered bone, searching desperately until I finally found the bullet. Angel trembled in my coat of arms and cried out in pain sensation as I pulled the slug out and tossed it aside. She then did the Saame to me. With unparalleled heart and aid, she reached into my berm with her fingers, dug through the pulp, and pulled out the bullet.

I looked around at the gore that coated the level. Her hair was scattered out in all directions, almost looking like it was melting and blending with her lost blood. Angel had bled too lots ; I had to do something to economize her. Gaining a desperate theme, I shifted myself so that I was holding her under me.

"What are you doing ?"

"We are the like blood case. I'd give anything to keep you animated, even the fluid in my veins."

I pressed our lesion together and hoped that the blood pouring from my veins would move into hers. I held onto holy person for dear sprightliness as I gave her as often pedigree as possible. The front doors of the bank were smashed undetermined as police stormed inside, while behind me, the gunman whose throat I had torn reached out and grabbed the drop down weapon of one of his fellow. With his dying military capability, he aimed the gun at me and pulled the trigger.



There was no beeping heart monitor, but I knew I was in a infirmary bed. I ached all over and could palpate needles in my arms. There was something else… I felt something warm in my hand. I slowly opened my center and saw Angel's beautiful side. Her eyes were filled with sorrowfulness and worry, but her deal were wrapped around mine. Her arm was secured in a sling and her shoulder was bandaged up sloshed, just like mine. I looked to my right and could hear the whirring of the expectant motorcar next to me. It was connected to my arm by several thermionic vacuum tube filled with blood.

"Oh shit."

It was a heart-lung machine. It was no admiration that there was no heart monitor ; I had no flash. The ticker was keeping my blood flowing.

I looked into Angel's eyes."What is the verdict ?"

Angel took a deep breath and it was evident that she had been crying."One of the robbers managed to aim his gun at you and fire before bleeding to death. The bullet pierced you through the eye of the chest. It didn't stab your heart directly, but it did cut through the muscle and falling out one of the chamber. You were leaking heavily into your chest dental caries. Luckily the police were there with an ambulance and they were able to shut down the wounding, but every clip they let your heart round on its own, the binge opened back up. They've already sutured and even cauterized the wound twice, and if the split opens one Sir Thomas More sentence, it will be beyond their ability to repair."

"So my heart is too maimed to turn properly and this machine is the only thing keeping me awake ?"

"Yes, but it was never intended to be used this way for an extended period of time. The medico say there are inherent risks for use, even if it's just during surgery. Your parents are doing everything they can to retrieve a conferrer heart, but on such inadequate notice…"

"There is very little chance of me actually getting an pipe organ transplant, let alone a heart,"I groaned.

There was no way this machine could maintain me active long enough to finally get a core. Before long, I would either get a new heart or I would die. It was a shame none of the men I killed were reed organ donors. I looked to angel and saw that her master copy fear was gone, and the feel of sadness on her face was replaced with a smile.

"Marcus, I've already offered to give you my heart for the transplanting. We're a accomplished match."

While this would be practiced news under pattern circumstances, I was completely horrified.

I tearfully grasped her hand."No. No, I can not do that ! I can't study your affection ! You are all that is keeping me active ! I can not occupy your life just so that mine will be extinguished without you !"

saint slowly pulled her hand from my grip and instead reached up and cupped my cheek, immediately calming me. She spoke without any fear in her person."The last meter we were here, you said that as long as my heart was beating, your pump would beat as well. That's why I've asked them that instead of disposing of your damaged heart after the surgery, they implant it into my dresser and allow it to startle. They don't expect me to outlive, but they are will to fulfill my wishes. Marcus, as long as my heart gives you life, your heart will leave me life."

"But what if it doesn't work ? What if you die ? If I wake up and you aren't with me, the first thing I'll do is kill myself."

holy man leaned forward and kissed me."I won't die, I promise you that. I was born out of a miracle, and so too shall I live through one. I told you that I would bring you a lifetime of happiness, and I have no intent of breaking that hope. Marcus, do you commit me ? Do you cause faith in me ?"

"Yes,"I replied with a raspy voice.

"Then have faith in yourself. You've sworn your essence to me so many times since we met, and it has kept me active all this time, just as it will keep me alive when you truly give it to me. No matter how damaged or wounded your heart is, I know that it won't let me die, just as you never would. Have faith, Marcus, not just in you or in me, but in us, and the future we promised each other."



Angel and I were in the surgical elbow room, both on seam while the surgeons prepared to operate.

"Angel, no subject what happens, think back this : you are the one that took away my pain and I will love you forever,"I whispered, trying to restrain back tears.

"William Tell me that after we walk out of this hospital together."

Respirators were secured to our faces and we were both given drugs that put us into the realm of unconsciousness. The close affair I saw was holy person's beautiful face.



I opened my eyes and found myself hovering in place. I was completely naked with the eye of God directly above me and Earth below. The bullet wound in my chest was gone and my shoulder was fully healed.

"What is this ?"I asked, looking up into the black mess as it eternally consumed the star around it.

backer appeared before me."As you so very fittingly called it, it is the eye of God, the Source, and the end of all grounds. It is the level in which topic and energy exchange and life and un-life converge. This is the heart of everything, the distance in which beginning and end are one in the same."

"What's going on ?"

"It's time, Marcus. The day has come when I can finally explain everything to you."She floated over and embraced me with our naked physical structure pressed together."Tell me, do you bonk how souls are formed ?"

"No."

"Through the subconscious intellection and desires of the living. Through the instincts of animate being and the wishes of world, soul are shaped within the Source and then forgather their physical phase upon the birth of infants. Animals following their instinct to reproduce, parents dreaming of their development small fry, and even lone hand with broken bosom wishing for the one to salvage them ; they all shape the free energy of the seed and ferment it into mortal for the future multiplication. Every soul on Earth is a mix of the hopes for just and fright of evilness in the people who came before it. All over the creation, children are being born with their individual shaped by the thought process of the people around them. Then when they die, their someone return to the Source."

"So God doesn't create life, humans and animate being do ? Then that means that every sentient being is basically a god. There is no God, only the citizenry that shape the souls of the unborn."

"Close, but not completely right."

She stopped talking, and slowly, we were pulled up into the fiery deluge and absorbed by the black hole in the center. Just like when I tried to kill myself, we found ourselves hovering in a vast spinning vortex of violet energy, stretching infinitely.

"This is the other slope, the afterlife that you believed in. Here, the souls of the numb rejoin the Source and become one, fusing together into a single mind of unbounded proportionality. It is a sentience beyond inclusion, a compendium of every thought, desire, instinct, and personality within life. In this sea, everyone is made whole and you don't know where the spirits around you end and you begin. This is God, the progenitor of living. It is us and we are it. It is the mother of us all, and the thoughts of the living are what impregnate it and allow it to give form to more life."

"So this is where you came from ; this is how you came into existence."

"Yes, through your desires and wishing, I was formed. Before your cancer, when you were plagued by misery and clinical depression, your subconscious mind dreamt up a being that would be able-bodied to cure you of your pain, the one somebody who you could love forever and be happy with. Your soulfulness sculpted mine, your nerve shaping me to be your ultimate peer.

But you did Thomas More than that ; you were capable to do much more. You remember, don't you ? You were dreaming of me years before your hurting first started. That was your subconscious mind judgement becoming aware of the growing tumors on your brain-stem, signaling and heralding your decease. Then, when your tumor truly activated and your torture was born, you became caught between worlds, held in a limbo of both life and death. With this, your will adulterate further than anyone else's in history. Between life and expiry, your marrow was able-bodied to influence Sir Thomas More than just my soul, but my body as well. In your annoyance, you mentally wrote out my pattern, while your soul served as the gateway between domain so that I could be formed. A living link between the substantial world and the seed ; you were essentially a god, and I was your Eve."

I thought back to all the times I had met her in the mornings and in the middle of the dark, how she would periodically spread out in the astuteness of her character and what she could do. The rationality why she could do Thomas More over clip was because I was shaping her from the other slope, and with my person so close to Death, she and I were able to meet.

"That's why you wanted me to hold off, why you didn't want me to defeat myself. You wanted to strive my death naturally, so that by then, you would be fully formed as an individual, and you have saved me then just as you did when I tried to commit suicide."

"Yes, but just when I thought we would riposte to the rootage together, you realized what I was meant to be and I became your end up creation. When you called out my name, you solidified my being, and then when you regained the will to live, you pulled us out into the earthly concern of the support. Like I said, the generator is the point in which topic and energy interchange and life-time and un-life converge. I was physically born into your world, thanks to your possession and all the bother you endured.

Think of it as like you bungee jumping over a lake with me beneath the airfoil. You make the leap, you fall, you touch the urine, you catch me, and then your cord pulls us both out.

With no one else could this have been possible. While you thought your pain in the ass was a condemnation, it was actually a grace : the ability to shape a aliveness instead of just a soul and then make for it to the physical plane. You are my creator and I am your Jesus Christ, playing the purpose of the one who will do it you and bring you happiness, just as you always dreamed. You shaped me with your heart and psyche, with your pain and desperation, and gave me life. I exist solely for you, to love you forever and take you happiness, and for that, I am truly well-chosen. While you dreamed of me, I dreamed of you, and the life we would live together. You gave me life story, you gave me bed, and you gave me joy, and for that, I am eternally thankful and will be with you forever."

I smiled, finally understanding. No curiosity her name was Angel, that was what I had always seen her as.

"I love you, angel. I love you with all my heart, judgement, and soul. I gave you life history but you gave me a reason to live."

"Now, before we can go back and summarise our aliveness, there is something we must do."

"What ?"

"We must balance the equating. You took a aliveness from the Source and that debt must be repaid with a life."

"What are you talking about ? Shouldn't the people I killed make up the price ?"

"No, that is outside of the exchange we made. Don't worry ; I knew this day would issue forth. I promised you we would inhabit our life sentence together and happily, we just have to sink this first. Remember that night, that Night when we were almost able to make love ? You asked me why we couldn't be intimate ?"

My eyes widened."You said that only when we both lived would we be capable to create animation for ourselves."

"Yes, and now to give up for the life you took from the seed, we must produce a life history to pay it back, right wing here and now."

I smiled and began to laugh before embracing her and giving her a long osculation."Compared to everything you have done for me, that isn't much of a debt. All mightily, let's create a life."

Without hesitation, Angel wrapped one leg around me, giving me enough room and purchase to recruit her, making her moan softly in happiness. With the huge ocean of individual spinning around us infinitely, I began moving up and down with my lower physical structure, thrusting into Angel while we kissed and our tongue danced. It was certainly difficult to make love in zero gravity, with nil to agitate against or anchor us to. When I pulled out of Angel, she pushed off against me, then tightened her hold around me and pulled us closer together when I re-entered her. We soon got the hang of it, and instead of being distracted by the mechanics of intimacy, we allowed our minds to focus on the emotional euphoria of being so intimately bound to each other. Here we were, hovering within the heart of the end of all reason, consummating our relationship, our naked bodies pressed together, our mouth joining like yin and yang, and our physical forms interlocking like atoms. There was nothing outside of our Earth ; our nous were focused solely on each former. At this detail, life and death meant nothing, the populace below and the globe above held no economic value, and who we were as soul lost all definition. Just like how the eye of God was a massive convergence of all strong drink and energy in the universe of discourse, so too were we fused together, our souls bound into a unmarried form.

Joined in consistency and judgment, I could feel everything she could feel, and in turning, Angel picked up everything I experienced, as if our very nerves were now wrapped together. With our awareness and sensations now joined, we both experienced a culmination at the exact same prison term, mine triggered by hers and hers by mine. I'm not sure how many times I ejaculated or how often of my sperm was now inside her, but as we separated, I saw a look of contentment on her face, and looking down, we both saw that the country just below her stomach was glowing brightly.

"It's done, I'm significant. See ? Even fourth dimension is subjected within the end of all reason."

At her password, a sphere of light the size of an apple passed out of her flesh from and slowly rose up between us. Inside the sector of light was what looked like a grain of sand, but in realness, it was her inseminate egg, our offspring. With a loving smile, Angel slowly reached up and cupped the field of luminance with her hands, staring at the tiny embryo as if it were a real infant. Smiling as well, I did the same and placed my hands on the side of the orb, my hands overlapping hers. After a few seconds, the orb left our custody, shooting up like a rocket into the kernel of the eye of God. Then, just as it was about fade from our view, a bright light flared deep in the twisting typhoon of reddish blue energy. Expanding like an underwater explosion, the lighting consumed us both.



My eyes opened and I took a deep shuddering breath. I was lying in a hospital bed with a gasmask hooked up to my mouth and my chest throbbing to the audio of a heart and soul monitor. Only having enough push to move my eyes, I looked around at the hospital room and cried in joy at the survey before me. Lying in another bed, barely two feet away, was holy person. She was in the same state of matter as I was, with her own spirit Monitor beeping just as loudly as mine. Slowly, her eyes opened and we stared at each early, both smiling. It had worked ; the operation had been a success.

Like mirror images, we both moved our weapon system and placed our hands on our chests, touching the bind scratch of our transplants. The feeling was indescribable, almost orgasmic ; the sensation of having each other's physical hearts beating within our pectus. In my chest, Angel's heart was beating with a fondness I had never before experienced, a grateful gentleness to it, an aureole that made me feel like her love for me was literally pumping through my veins. In her chest, my centre was beating with more aggressive force. It was as if my heart shared my thoughts, and refused to let any injury divest Angel of life. It was going to protect her, keep her alive, and make sure she always had the ability to be happy.

Slowly, we both reached out and grasped each former's hired man, silently expressing our love while the meth bead on angel's ring gleamed.



It was considered a miracle that my mettle continued to ticktack while in Angel's chest, when it would induce ripped open if left in mine. My whole sept was sobbing in happiness, both from my survival and Angel's. Like I always had, they all now saw her as a appendage of the family, and were grateful that she had lived, but not nearly as grateful as I was.



The bedroom was dark, the air warm from the summer sun long since set. Angel and I were huddled together in bed, pressed together like two puzzler small-arm. We had finally been released from the hospital, and while they had forbade us to wage in any strenuous activity until we fully healed, we now found ourselves recovering from making love. We had been slow and gentle of course, but our bond was broad of passion.

"Marcus ?"

"Yeah ?"

"Can you do me a favor ? Not right now, but in the future ?"

"Of course of instruction, what ?"

Angel rolled over and stared at me, our faces just an inch apart."When we've gotten a place of our own and can support ourselves… will you… will you move over me a baby ? We gave up our first one within the author and I really want to have another, a real small fry I mean. I want us to start our own family."

I smiled."Of course of action, but only after you marry me, sell ?"

"Deal,"she giggled.

We kissed one last time, whispered our love, and then closed our center. The sounds of our spirit thrashing and our gentle breathing slowly lowered us into the pipe dream world, but no dream could even compare to the joy in my soul when I held Angel Falls in my weapon system and thought of the hereafter, the futurity we would share in happiness for our entire lives.



The End




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