Back in the eighteenth C a mortify Sir Frederick Handley Page visits a jeweller's shop.


"So lets get this straightaway. You say Prince Charming wants a gold dildo, 10 centimetre in cinch and 40 centimeters in duration and encrusted with diamonds ?"

Buttoni, Prince Charming's page looked at the jewelry maker and nodded,"Indeed,"he agreed.

"Well we're mightily out of origin at confront squire,"the jewelry maker admitted,"We got ivory and glass, bronze even, but gold with diamonds, well drear squire, but there's no demand."

"His highness says he will take you killed if you will not supply one,"Buttoni suggested.

"Fair enough, how does Th sound ?"

"Why not today ?"Buttoni.

"Got to make a mildew squire, can't just stream molten gold down some poor Slovack ‘ s ass yap anymore, health and safety device see ?"the jeweller complained

"Are you sure you are a jeweller and not the village retard ?"Buttoni asked.

"Almighty no sir, last year I come third gear in the village cretin contest, but I'm preparation hard for future year."

The jeweller knew a time waster when he saw one and Buttoni was a prime model. Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's love beef.

Prince Boris or ‘ Prince Charming,'as they called him. Pretty as a peacock, bent as a corkscrew. Everyone knew. All the ladies loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass.

"When can I carry your master to come so I can do a modeling ?"the jeweler asked.

"It's for a woman you dog !"Buttoni sighed.

"I can do you a effective methamphetamine one for twenty five Florins,"the jeweller offered,"The skidder we calls it on account of it being so smooth that it slips in easily."The Methedrine slipper."

"Why so cheap ?"Buttoni asked.

"Second hired man, was the wife's female parent, cunt like a bucket, it just needs a bit of a clean."

"Done !"Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the methamphetamine was actually made as an apprentice musical composition and twice the size of any other.

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Buttoni rushed back to the palace. He liked his job as Sir Frederick Handley Page but he was not too keen on citizenry thinking he was Charming's lover. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with girls with a talent for saying the wrong thing and when the time came either he couldn't get it up or he got too excite and came in his pants. He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a tart was generally considered to be a bad move for the royal kinsperson PR wise.

"Your Highness !"he blustered,"I have just had this great idea."

"Not again,"Prince Charming sighed,"What is it this clip ? Invade Russia, Dig a tunnel, make a glider in the loft, slay a Draco ?"

"A ball !"Buttoni cried,"Hold a nut !"

"Baseball, Tennis ball ?"Charming asked.

"No a dance, a big dancing, a block out ball, bid all the eligible bird,"Buttoni suggested.

"mother tried that,"Charming commend,"I spent the evening hiding in the loo !"

"But this clip we say you met your true sexual love and she left a beloved token and you have to find her !"Buttoni enthused.

"And what sort of token ?"Charming asked.

"Her glass dildo !"Buttoni chuckled,"tone !"

Charming looked, he thought it was a bombastic nursing bottle of schnaps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape.

"You have got to be kidding !"he gasped as he saw the monster,"Wow, can you imagine those bobble coddle simpering glacial bitch mother tries to palm me off with with that ogre inside them !"

"Exactly !"Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to adjust his knickers as his cock swelled at the thought of it."And struggling to get the giant inside their tight garden pink hairless slit !"Buttoni suggested.

"And hairy unity Buttoni !"the Prince added.

"Actually it gets even better,"Buttoni chuckled."It's called a"glass Slipper !"

"Actually,"Charming thought aloud,"With the mightily PR we can forget about having a ball, we'll say it happened at the last masked ball !"

"And you'll marry the miss it fits ?"Buttoni suggested.

"If she's pretty !"Charming laughed,"But seriously.

"So shall we ?"Buttoni asked hopefully

"High five !"Charming agreed.


"We will say I met my honest love life at the mask clod and she lost her meth carpet slipper,"Charming explained to his mother and father over breakfast,"And whosoever it fits I shall marry."

"Run the costings past my mass and we'll get back to you,"King Harald suggested.

"It is pouch money forefather not capital account,"Charming lied.

"upper-case letter, I mean excellent !"Martin Luther King Jr. Harald cried,"I'm sick and tired of people thinking there's something wrong with you."

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They put a small ad in the Bayerisch Bugle the local free ads news sheet and opened a small shop on Munchen street with a waiting area and a cubicle with a bed. Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a peasant's smock, though the second joint distance fateful leather thrill with Au warp sort of gave the game away.

"hello, I think I might be the little girl he's looking for ?"Helga one of the whores from Madame L'Oiseaux's formation stated boldly.

"Indeed, get through. I am Buttoni gentleman's gentleman to Prince Charming and this is my assistant Dumbkoph,"Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in disguise.

"Is this yours my honey ? '' Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 decimeter long dildo menacingly.

"You bloody pervert !"Helga cried,"I thought you meant a shoe !"and she slapped him snipe the cheek and stormed out.

"Feisty,"Buttoni observed ruefully.

"Wonderful,"Charming sighed,"Maybe we should receive slayed a dragon."

"Yes,"Buttoni agreed,"Or maybe we are on the improper tack ?"

Just then a beautiful young young woman stepped into the shop,"Is this where we try the slipper on ? '' she asked,"Only Mummy sent me."

"Actually it's a dildo,"Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.

"Really ?"she gasped,"I did wonder where I lost mine."

"What ?"Charming asked.

"Oh yes my good friend charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes last wintertime at the Winterfest, and I lost mine."the little girl admitted.

"Your good Quaker ?"Buttoni asked.

"Oh yes we shared a room at school, and a bed on cold nights."the girlfriend explained,"But since I lost my dildo I have to get my maid Hetta to fist me when I get PMT."

Charming looked unfirm on his feet, a blood vessel in his forehead pulsed wildly,"Your highness, are you all right ?"the girl asked.

"He has just cum in his bloomers,"Buttoni explained,"He has this problem."

"It really doesn't issue I'm gay too !"the girl admitted,"Can I try it ?"

"Yes why not."Charming agreed.

"You're Prince Charming aren't you ?"the girl declared."Why are you wearing such a dazed disguise ?"

"He is shy,"Buttoni explained,"But really why would you want to try a dildo when you're gay ?"

"Why not, I don't fancy men, he doesn't fancy women, sounds perfective tense !"the girl explained,"And with a nice big dildo to play with even better."

"wellspring then,"Butoni produced the glass dildo from a sack and suggested,"What do you recall of that ?"

"My god !"the girl agreed,"It's huge !"

Her eyes were widely with greed as Buttoni handed it to her,"It's sooo a great deal nicer than mine !"she said."So lovely and unruffled !"

She looked round,"You don't expect ; You're not going to watch are you ? You filthy swine ! Well at least lock the doorway first."

And with that she sat down on the flooring, pulled up her winding skirts and underskirts and began to gently rub her clit.

"Do you have to watch over ?"she asked.

"Absolutely,"Buttoni insisted as the young lady tried to get a fingerbreadth up inside herself.

"Oh well do something useful then, can you suck my titty ?"she asked as she undid the whacking on her bodice to disclose her impressive boobies.

Buttoni bent to the task,"And you, I do have two of them."she reminded them."One each."

The Prince too leaned over the missy and began to blow her nipple.

"Ohhh that's sooo respectable !"she cooed as first gear one then two fingers slipped inside her dampening cunt.

"That's three fingers,"she said,"Keep on."

She was frigging herself urgently now, four finger's breadth slipped inside her, then the unit of her bantam manus as she fisted herself.

The female child gasped."Hetta usually takes over now, she has a cock-a-hoop hired man than me, but can we try it ?"

Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl.

She pressed it against her cunt but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her cunt was dilated enough to use up her fist the dildo was much too wide to go More than 3 centimeters inside her.

"I need some lube."she said."Do you have any ?"

"Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would help ?"Buttoni suggested between sucks.

"Er yes."Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his breeches."assist yourself."

The girl looked at Charming's long pink rod. A little drop-off of pre cum glistened on his peter end,"Er sorry,"Charming apologised."False alarm."

The girl smeared pre cum over the dildo."Why don't you shoot your onus over the dildo to really lubricate it ?"she suggested.

"Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lubricate you, stretch your pussy and all that ?"Buttoni suggested.

"Because he's gay darling, everyone knows that !"the girl explained.

"red cent you !"Prince Charming exclaimed."I am not gay, bet I'll show you."

He lunged forward, tripped over his breeches and fell over the miss forcing her backwards and almost bashing her head on the floor.

"Ummm, you smell like a girl,"she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his pecker until he finally found her cunt.

His prick slipped easily into her velvety snatch. He luxuriated in her warmness. It was like fucking a whore without having to watch the clock or pay for it.

"Oi get on with it !"the lady friend complained,"Shoot your load and let your page have a go !"

"Be calm down I was enjoying that !"Charming exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to love it,"the girl complained,"Another ten minutes then all right ?"

Charming was not too trusted he could hold on for ten minutes. The deal of Bavaria swept through his mind. He was an eagle soaring above the ceiling upper side. He was in heaven with the holy person. He was swimming in the Rhine. He was cumming. A glorious waterspout of cum burst from his cock and saturated her parts.

"Ohhhhh."he gasped.

"Oooooohhhh,"she responded.

"Will it fit ?"Buttoni asked,"Or shall I have a go ?"

"Of class it wont fit you moron,"the little girl explained,"Look I'm gay. I lost my virtuousness to a girl. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in front of witnesses, I'm base free."

"What ? you wanted me to fuck you ?"Prince Charming demanded.

"spring the boy an apple, got it in one.,"the girl replied.

"Do you have no respect for me at all ?"Charming enquired.

"No. None."she replied.

"Buttoni, your knife please,"Charming asked.

"What do you want that for ?"the young woman asked.

"Why to expound your cunt if you can't aim the dildo."he replied.

"All right, I'll try again."she agreed but no thing what perspective she tried it in she could not force it more than 5 centimeters inside her.

It was no soundly. It was far too large.

"You have twenty four hours."Charming insisted.

"But how ?"she pleaded.

"Its up to you."Charming insisted,"Send the others away. You fetch your overnight bag. Buttoni you mind the shop."

The girlfriend quickly rearranged her clothing and went to the door.

"Where does that jeweller study ?"Prince Charming asked.

"Why in Wisebaden Strasse,"Buttoni replied,"But why ?"

"One glass dildo, a lot thinner, get the idea ?"the Prince suggested.

"But why, there are still portion of cunts to unfold ?"Buttoni asked in horror.

"I like that one,"Prince Charming declared,"Anyway, let's see if she is stupefied enough to come back.

"Errr,"the girl said,"There's quite a queue."

Buttoni went to the door, he let the daughter out and slammed the door quickly."Mine gott, they stretch to the town square."

"Right,"Prince Charming agreed,"We need a franchise."

"What ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lookalikes who look like me could read turn to take my space !"Prince Charming suggested excitedly.

"And where do you find these citizenry ?"Buttoni asked.

"I don't. You do,"Prince Charming laughed."You have an hour, put the closed for lunch sign up."

Buttoni sneaked out the spinal column door and headed for the Bier-Hause. He had a few pints of schnapps for Prussian courageousness and headed for the guard duty Barracks. He went to the mess and quickly recruited not only four stand ins for the prince but a dispatch royal consistence guard for only a months pay from each.

Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a nominal organization fee for every girl who tried the dildo and set up a till on the shop counter and a list of the shell of bearing, including try twice get a third try spare !

Within the hr Buttoni sneaked back in the endorse way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it.

Even the fervour of watching young ladies trying to engorge a 400 mm dildo up their bitch pales after a patch and within the month most of the guardsmen had gone back to the barracks as girl after young woman ruined their virtue trying to bang a lump of glass.

Henry Sweet hairless pink slit, big hairy pussy, neatly trimmed pubes, untidy overgrown bushes, some with nicks from shaving. Shy young girls, raddled old hags, the eager, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the lusus naturae even half way up.

Finally the waiting line dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop and returned to the palace to count the money.

The king was delighted, the queen exasperated and so life returned to normal with Prince Charming sneaking down the sporting house every Tues Thursday and Sat and poking the Captain James Cook most mornings.

The queen despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one Lord's Day there was a tumult at the palace gate. The pikesmen on safety device duty were barring entry to an irate Whitney Moore Young Jr. woman."Let me in !"a girl screamed."That Prince Charming bastard got me pregnant !"

Prince Charming wandered down to the gate."That's him !"the fille howled.

"You're the missy from the store !"he exclaimed.

"Six damned times I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once !"she snarled.

"Did it fit ?"he asked.

"No !"she snapped,"Of coures it didn't and I got pregnant !"

"Is it mine ?"he asked.

"Either that or it's spick design, of course it is !"she snapped.

"fair enough,"Prince Charming agreed,"Let her in, you had better sports meeting mother."

"What just like that ?"she exclaimed.

"You haven't met mother,"he explained

He took the girl to his mother's sitting room,"Ah female parent I am afraid I have made this girl pregnant,"he announced.

"Really, and what is her name ?"the poove asked.

"No theme,"Prince Charming admitted.

"Typical,"the lady friend sighed,"It's Ella, my champion call me Cinders because I'm red hot !"

"Oh god you're a gay woman !"the king gasped.

"I was,"she admitted,"It's hard to be hot when you're throwing up every morning."

"And this is your intended ?"the queer asked.

"well lets face it,"Prince Charming declared,"When the fry comes out there is lilliputian incertitude the dildo will go back in."

"Dildo, what dildo ?"the queen mole rat asked.

"Its this big cycle,"the missy said as she described the size with her hands,"And this long."

"And what pray do you see in this, this hussy !"the queen asked.

"She is disrespectful, willful, wish women so she's unlikely to get off with a footman, she's paragon fairy cloth,"he declared.

"So you think I'm headstrong, disrespectful and improbable to tag footmen do you ?"the poof enquired.

"fountainhead two out of three isn't bad,"he laughed rather inappropriately.

"Oh well, if you must !"the queen admitted,"So, ah clinker, what do you like about my son ?"

"He's loaded,"she admitted."mammy said I should give it a go. Actually he smells like a girl and I really liked it when he fucked me."

"Oh, that's good."Prince Charming agreed.

"We don't say ‘ nookie'in the palace dear,"the faggot explained,"We say ‘ Make love'much less messy don't you think ? So, Cinders, when did you recollect of getting married ?"

"Married ? no way !"the miss insisted,"I just want minor support."

"well I'm sorry but we don't do that,"the female monarch insisted,"We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the keep and beat you and starve you until you're not pregnant any more. ``

"Oh well in that type,"she said resignedly,"I suppose I will have to give it some grievous thought."

"Actually it's my night for the brothel, how about we get a take away knockwurst and stay in and follow the servants fornicating instead."Prince Charming suggested.

"Yes good fantabulous melodic theme !"the fagot agreed.

"Not you mother, cinder !"Prince Charming suggested.

"And if I don't ?"Cinders asked.

The pansy looked askance at the girl,"We will get the take away and ascertain the servants fornicating you, two, maybe three at a time ?"

"Men or girls ?"she asked.

"Men, girls, horse cavalry, click, the penguin from the zoo,"the pansy explained,"trade good god girl half the girls in the realm want to bed my Charming."

"All right, but no funny job,"the girlfriend agreed.

"Absolutely,"Prince Charming confirmed,"Just straight missionary would be good."

"You are not fucking me again !"the girl insisted.

"Not fucking dear, making love, it sounds so much nicer,"the queen insisted.

"You liked it live metre,"Prince Charming reminded her.

"Only because you smell like a lady friend,"she explained.

"Very fastidious my Charming, a bathing tub every Friday and fresh underpants every hebdomad,"the tabby confirmed,"Anyway where is this famed dildo, it does vocalise rather fun ?"

Prince Charming and the girl looked at each former and burst out laughing.

And they all lived happily ever after.

wellspring the girl wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some angel to put up 1000 guilders for the low gear unmarried miss to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent stage business out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to watch. The jeweller never did get paid and the diminished dildo he made is probably still in stock. Buttoni married Cinder's friend Charlotte after he had a bathing tub, doused himself in Eau de Koln and basically jumped her one night. The queen had a reproduction glass dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the Riley B King spends his time talking to his plants in the garden and meddling in politics like kings do.

And therein lies the lesson of this narration, if you want to deplume, ingest a Bath and wear fresh underpants