varsity letter to a love. We all have had somebody in our life story that we'e truly loved, some of us still have them in our life, others, like me, have lost them.
To my pricey sweetie,

Well, it 's been three years since the last metre I saw you. Three geezerhood since I 've heard your gag. Three days since I 've given you a hug. Three of the longest and most miserable year of my life-time.

There is n't a day that goes by that I do n't think about you, lecture to you, even though you 're not physically there, I still talk to you and hope you can take heed me. Every time I close my heart, I see your smiling font. There are times I 'll be out, and swear I hear your gag across the way.

I 've been camping one, maybe two times since you left. It 's just not the same without you to break up on me around the flaming. We have n't been out on the four wheeler either, I kinda miss my tight fitting little passenger. I have n't been out fourwheeling either, that was supposed to be `` our day '' we had planned, that never happened.

The terminal three years, I 've more or less sort of existed. Sure, I 've tried to move on, find a new human relationship, but, something always falls apart, or gets in the way. aloofness, metre, personallity conflict, all have been factors in why nothing works out. Try as I might, I ca n't get you out of my capitulum, or my inwardness. I 'm reminded of something your mom said, the day we buried you .... `` I hope he lives a prospicient and healthy life, and every meter he closes his eyes, he sees you, to remind him of the Inferno that he 's caused. '' combine me mantrap, I do.

I 'm not surely whom she meant that musical phrase toward, but, I do know deep down, I 'm at to the lowest degree partially, if not wholy, responsible for. Never once did I mean to hurt, or neglect you, apparently, I failed miserably. I pay for my loser on a daily, footing, and for hurting you, I 'm truly sorry.

I 'm sorry that I let you down in so very many ways. Not supporting, and caring enough. There were ground behind it, some of which you knew, others, I 'm just learning myself. One of the with child reasons was the fact that I truly did screw you completely, but, could n't show it to you in the right ways, our circumstances prevented me showing you my love. I know, it 's no excuse, I should experience found the way to do it properly, but, I was honestly scared. Scared that my state of affairs would get worse, but, more scared that you would actually reject my love, which would suppress what little purport I had. There was also a mixer vista sweetheart, the love I had, was n't socially acceptable, well, at least toward you people would glower. I wanted nothing more than to pull in you close, kiss you softly, and keep you as we walked through the mall or somewhere else. Knowing how society works, that could n't happen. I would have been seen as something frightful, nevermind the fact that there was a dependable deep love in my spunk

I 'm learning Thomas More every day, seeing things now, that I missed then. The little things, the smiles at just me, even when you were crying. The way your eyes seemed to dismount up. The times that you 'd want to spend clock time just the two of us. The random hugs, the occasional `` I love you '' when we were home alone. I realize now, you never said it in presence of anyone else, it was always something between you and I. I missed so many of the petty star sign you had given me that I would n't be rejected. But, sadly, it 's too deep to deepen any of that. If I had it to do all over again, I would do so many things differently.
I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to atone for the bother I caused. It 's my incumbrance, and some Day, I truly do struggle with it. The Word are just give-and-take, i can say `` I 'm sorry '' a billion clip a day, and it would n't make any difference. No amount of `` I 'm sad '' can bring you back, or take away the pain that I 've caused. The entirely `` I 'm dismal '' that really affair, is the one recondite inside of my heart, that I hope that you can feel, and hear when I talk to you. That feeling of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I 'm cursed to live the life that your mom had mentioned, alone, and regretting not showing you how I truly felt.

My lifetime will never be whole again. I will go along to exist, probably for a very farseeing clock time, but, I 'll never experience as truly happy as I did. Three long years, is just the for the first time tone into the life that I will guide. That sprightliness started June 17, 2011, the journeying will never end. There may be mo of bliss, and happiness scattered in there, but, forever will I think of what I caused. I truly am so very gloomy my sweet sweeth Kaitlyn, I pray that one day, you can forgive me. I 'm not sure that you can, or will, and, if not, I do understand. If you do, or can, I 'm eternally grateful to you. Either way, I 'm glad, and proud to have shared in your life for as prospicient as I had, I just wish that I could sustain done better.
We ca n't alter our past, only hope that our past does n't put down our hereafter. When I told you that I loved you, you may have thought differently than I did, I love loved you, where you may throw seen it as a unlike case of beloved, I 'm sorry for never telling, or showing you how I loved you. Who knows, if I had, maybe you 'd still be physically here instead of only having to curb on to your storage. I love you, and have loved you for a very prospicient sentence, I just care I had been smart enough to record you.


Lovingly,

Chris