Chapter One

The day started as it usually did. Groggily, Jess leaned over to hit the snooze release on my alarm clock. He was so sap because he had been doing 30 hour a week at work lately and he was n't sleeping well because of his domicile liveliness. Add in schoolhouse and the homework that came along with it and it was midnight or later by the fourth dimension he got to bed."Who invented these things anyway ? ”, he thought as he climbed out of bed.

Showered and dressed, he went downstairs to get some breakfast."Hi Jess ”, his pal and sis said to him, almost in unison."Hi ”, he replied back. After eating breakfast, he went back on a higher floor to brush his teeth. Then he came downstairs again and went to see his mother. Jess always went to his mother 's room and said"goodness forenoon"to her before leaving for school. Why he still did, he was n't sure as shooting. He had become so distant, there was no really link left."Probably just out of riding habit ”, he told himself. He kissed his mother goodbye and then left with his brother for school.

In the car, he and his brother did n't sing much. It was n't that they did n't like each other, but Jess and Gospel According to Luke had very petty in common these day. They had different friends, Luke being more of a societal butterfly ; different gustatory modality in medicine, Jess listened to more heavy alloy and rock, while Luke was more into the pop euphony scene ; etc ... Once they got to schoolhouse, that was it. The car ride there was the most time they spent with each early in a day and whichever one was n't driving that day just stared at their phone the total ride.

Everyday he dreaded going to school. in high spirits schooltime had never been"as publicize"to Jess. He was a loner, an outcast. He had not even a fistful of friend, everyone knew everyone, but that was about it. Recently he had been feeling more and more depressed, his thoughts sometimes turning to suicide. Home life was ... well it was n't a abode anymore ...

"Good morning Mr. Knight ”, said his homeroom instructor, Mr. Toer."Morning ”, Jess replied back. He took his seat and started on the homework he did n't finish last Night. math was a particularly hard subject for Jess. He was just one bad grade away from failing the subject for the semester, but at this tip that was the endure thing on his mind. Staring at the space sheet of theme in front of him, his intellect started to wander."What am I even doing here ? I have no purpose, no desire, no felicity. If I decided to just run away today, will anyone caution ? testament my parents notice if I 'm not there ?"The bell for the end of homeroom rang, jolting him back into awareness."tinker's damn it ”, he thought, realizing he had n't done a 1 problem.

When the bell rang at 3:05, he was already driving away from shoal ( his brother was in ROTC and stayed for after-school activities ), his foot to the flooring and the radio blaring. Music had become Jess'only reprieve from his biography and he was retreating into it Sir Thomas More and more, barely paying attention to anything else. music made him feel powerful, made him feel like he had a cause to live. It seemed that the lyrics of the Song dynasty on the tuner spoke directly to him, lifting him up, making him feel happy that someone, somewhere understood what he felt.

When he got home, Jess went straight to his room. As he was changing into his oeuvre uniform, he took a look at himself in the mirror. He was 16, had long, morose brown hair, electric dreary eyes, was about six feet grandiloquent, and had slim body. The person staring back at him looked so far away, it looked like him, but it was n't him. The eyes of the person in the mirror looked so desolate and void it was shocking. Sighing to himself, he turned off the light and headed to work.

At work that Night, he just floated aimlessly through the evening, barely engaging the client, just wanting the nighttime to end so that he could go home and nap. eternal sleep, the one matter and one time of the day when he did n't feel hollow, lifeless. When did n't feel anything but peace. The next day was Saturday and he did n't stimulate to go to cultivate or school so he could sleep all through the Nox and well into the morning.

Opening the door to his sign of the zodiac after work, Jess got a half-hearted"Hi"from his parents. The form of"hi"that you say out of civility, not because you actually meant it. He replied back, asked if anyone had made dinner that Nox, and then went to his room. Turning on his computing device, he checked his e-mail. As usual, it was just a lot of Spam, but then Jess saw the email. Wesley had responded to him ! Jess read the email, then shut off his computer and got into bed. Falling asleep, he smiled to himself, feeling some small sense of hope.


unfavorable judgment welcome. Like I said, let me acknowledge if I should continue .