Chapter One

The day started as it usually did. Groggily, Jess leaned over to hit the snooze button on my dismay clock. He was so tired because he had been doing thirty hours a week at work lately and he was n't sleeping well because of his home living. Add in schooling and the homework that came along with it and it was midnight or later by the clock time he got to bed."Who invented these things anyway ? ”, he thought as he climbed out of bed.

Showered and dressed, he went downstairs to get some breakfast."Hi Jess ”, his Brother and sister said to him, almost in unison."Hi ”, he replied back. After eating breakfast, he went back upstairs to sweep his dentition. Then he came downstairs again and went to see his mother. Jess always went to his mother 's way and said"good morning"to her before leaving for school. Why he still did, he was n't sure enough. He had become so distant, there was no real connection left."Probably just out of habit ”, he told himself. He kissed his mother goodbye and then left with his chum for school.

In the car, he and his buddy did n't talk much. It was n't that they did n't like each other, but Jess and Luke had very picayune in common these days. They had different friends, Luke being more of a social butterfly ; different preference in music, Jess listened to more backbreaking metal and rock, while Luke was more into the pop music scene ; etc ... Once they got to school, that was it. The car ride there was the most time they spent with each other in a day and whichever one was n't driving that day just stared at their phone the entire ride.

Everyday he dreaded going to school. High School had never been"as publicize"to Jess. He was a loner, an Ishmael. He had not even a handful of friends, everyone knew everyone, but that was about it. Recently he had been feeling more and more depressed, his mentation sometimes turning to suicide. Home life was ... well it was n't a domicile anymore ...

"good break of day Mr. Knight ”, said his home room instructor, Mr. Toer."daybreak ”, Jess replied back. He took his place and started on the homework he did n't finish last Night. math was a particularly hard subject for Jess. He was just one bad grade away from failing the subject for the semester, but at this full stop that was the last thing on his brain. Staring at the blank shell sheet of paper in forepart of him, his creative thinker started to wander."What am I even doing here ? I have no purpose, no desire, no happiness. If I decided to just run away today, will anyone forethought ? testament my parents notice if I 'm not there ?"The bell for the end of home room rang, jolting him back into consciousness."Damn it ”, he thought, realizing he had n't done a single problem.

When the bell rang at 3:05, he was already driving away from school ( his brother was in ROTC and stayed for after-school activeness ), his foot to the floor and the radio blaring. Music had become Jess'only reprieve from his life-time and he was retreating into it more and more, barely paying attention to anything else. Music made him palpate powerful, made him feel like he had a reasonableness to live. It seemed that the lyrics of the song on the radio spoke directly to him, lifting him up, making him finger happy that someone, somewhere understood what he felt.

When he got home, Jess went straight to his room. As he was changing into his work uniform, he took a look at himself in the mirror. He was 16, had long, dark-skinned dark-brown hair, electric automobile blue eyes, was about six feet marvelous, and had slim trunk. The person staring back at him looked so far away, it looked like him, but it was n't him. The eye of the person in the mirror looked so desolate and empty it was shocking. Sighing to himself, he turned off the light and headed to work.

At study that night, he just floated aimlessly through the evening, barely engaging the customers, just wanting the night to end so that he could go dwelling and nap. eternal rest, the one thing and one meter of the day when he did n't feel hollow, lifeless. When did n't finger anything but peace. The next day was Sabbatum and he did n't have to go to operate or shoal so he could log Z's all through the dark and well into the morning.

Opening the room access to his mansion after work, Jess got a halfhearted"Hi"from his parents. The kind of"hi"that you say out of politeness, not because you actually meant it. He replied back, asked if anyone had made dinner that night, and then went to his elbow room. Turning on his figurer, he checked his e-mail. As usual, it was just a bunch of spam, but then Jess saw the e-mail. Charles Wesley had responded to him ! Jess read the e-mail, then shut off his information processing system and got into bed. Falling asleep, he smiled to himself, feeling some lowly sensation of hope.


Criticism welcome. Like I said, let me get laid if I should continue .