MOVING HOUSE

It all started with a dumb-ass prank.

My son had broken up with his long-time partner, her having being playing away behind his back. When he off-loaded their apartment, he bunked down at mine for a few week while he got sorted. I could sympathize his pain, the Same thing having happened to his mother and I four old age earlier. I now lived on my own in a quite wide top floor studio, but with only one bedroom, he had to sleep on the lounge in the front room.

Coincidentally, my lease was coming up for reclamation, so we had a longsighted lecture and decided it would be good for us both to strike into a 2 beddy and split the nib. In another 12 months, we could see how we stood, and then locomote forward as required.

audio like a program, yes ? Except for my son's dumb-ass prank.

My agent arranged an ‘ open-house viewing'of my post for prospective new renter. Fair enough.

He asked if we could wee-wee ourselves scarce for the two hour appointment. near of my ornaments and photo-frames were packed away anyway, so we collected up all our valuables and ‘ light-finger'magnets into a big cardboard box and stowed them in the body of my car, then taunt my son's SUV down the local anesthetic mall. Just as we were parking up, my son slaps his os frontale and announces he's draw a blank his cellular phone.

"You jump out, dada, take hold of yourself a bite and I'll see you in fifteen in the intellectual nourishment court."

So off he burns, and we meet up again 25 mo later, him with a big smirk on his face.

"What's with the big grin, you ass ?"

"Oh, nothin'dad ….. There's cars pulling up everywhere outside when I left. It was funny."

"Don't surprisal me.. Popular spot being so close to the mall and all."

"Yeah, really, really democratic,"he splutters down his nuzzle, trying to suppress his laughter.

"Ass,"I says,"You're an ass."

..…

We wanders around the shopping center for a foresightful spell, my son seeming to hale his heels.

Then my cell rings…..

"All done, Mr. T. I'm just locking up. You can derive back now."

"agent,"I silently mouth at my son as I'm taking the outcry.

"By the way, Mr. T… have you been running a patronage from here ?"

"Scuse me ? Business. What line of work ?"

"You know …. A business."

"Sorry. Dunno what you're talking about."

"Well, just so you know, Mr T., in this county it's illegal to run any form of business from a rental without license from the factor, but seeing as you're departure, I'll let this one slide."

"Oh, OK,"I answers, shrugging my shoulders,"I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

…..

Returning to my place, my son is snorting a chuckle down his nose at almost every lamp-post.

"Ass"

….

When I walks into my bedroom, my jaw driblet to the level as the plate fall away from my middle.

Dangling from my bed head-board are two sets of hand-cuffs. A chrome shiny set on one position, and ping furry-fluffy single on the other. On top of my bedside console, there's an smorgasbord of bottles of vegetable oil and jells, along with a dispersion of unopened condom packet boat and rubber mitt. On the floor there's a couple of canes and wooden spoons, along with a bin, one-half full of scrunched up tissue.

But most damning of all, there's a whiteboard leaning up against the rampart with my jail cell telephone number at the top and a retentive leaning of random female names down one side. Along-side each name there are diverse notational system

A only, no A, both, rough, gentle, hanker tease, no marks, long as poss…… the lean went on.

I turn to my son, who's now standing right behind me in scene of laughter and I says,

"Spoons ? Wooden spoon ? What the hell were you thinking ?"

………..

I took it for the dumb-ass clowning that it was. It seemed pretty cool, thinking I could probably tell this narration a hundred times before I died. But a couple of years later my cell rang….

…..

I was already running late for my regular golf game stint with my best mate, Pete, over at the links about 40 minutes drive away. I knew the traffic would be building with morning time school-run Mom's taxis, so I was in no mood to be stuffed around, so when the female person voice on the other end stuttered and faltered and dithered with a"Errm, I was just calling, I mean, needed to speak. I hope it's not a bad time, but it, I was wondering, if you don't creative thinker ….."

Just around then my frustration boiled over and against my normal nature, I pretty much barked,

"fountainhead, spit it out woman…."

"Oh, yes, sorry sir,"my harsh snap appearing to span away her hesitation. You could almost take heed her make to sit herself upright in her seat."My name is Charmaine, and I'm calling from Pollomina-Watts real land ……"

Now she had my full attention. These were the realtors of my son and I's new billet where I'd signed the letting and paid a substantial alliance and alluviation. I would be handing back the keys to the old space in two twenty-four hour period, and couldn't afford for anything to go amiss.

"Yes, how can I serve ?"I queried. It was I who had suddenly become contrite.

"As you know, well obviously, you passed all our reference and police chit, but I had neglected to address your former leasing agent."

"Yes ?"I scooped, in a drawn out acknowledgement of her natural action. I had no idea where this would be going.

"Well, he told me you appeared to have been running some variety of business from the premises."

"Oh, no, no no, he's got it all wrong ….."I began my apologetic explanation about it only being a prank.

"Because it's not classed as a business sector if you don't charge a fee,"she butted in, almost as a blurted-out gush.

I could see this as an easy get-out, and I was conscious of now running late for my golf-date.

"No, I don't charge anything. It's all entirely free."

"Oh, thank goodness,"the relief in her part almost palpable."You see, I can't afford very much, with my hubby keeping a close eye on my spending and all."

"Woah, woah woah"I chattered about seven times in the space of a second.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry,"she responded to my hitch,"If you're not taking on any more bookings…."

"No, it's not that …."

This was getting all too practically and sliding way out of script. I needed time to think.

"Look, the accuracy is, you're making me of late for an appointment and I need to get moving, the traffic's getting busier by the second. You're gon na have to call me back after luncheon. Can you do that ?"

"Oh,"she sounded surprise,"You sometimes do ….. ?"

"After lunch."I cut her off, then in a instant of dastardly inspiration, for my go words before I pressed ‘ end outcry,'I took a trench breath and growled down the line,"From now on you start calling me ‘ master.'”

…………..

Not surprisingly, my golf score was trash. XV over par.

"What the infernal region's gotten into you ?"quiz my long-time Quaker and golf buddy as we sat in the 19th hole breast feeding our cold beers."I know I usually win, but jeez, man, you usually give me a run for my money. Wha'sup ?"

"A very unusual dilemma has reared its head, Pete, and I think you're just the rectify man to give me some fatherly advice."

…

At 48, Pete is actually one year younger than me, but has had a entire and chequered love live, having been divorced twice and currently having two women on the go. And having spent hundreds of bibulous hour sharing our shit down the pub, I don't think there were any secrets between us…. I'd no problem with spilling my guts….

….

"Wow, that's pretty rad, man,"said Pete after a prospicient blow through puffed-out boldness."Even that's a new one on me. I'm not sure what to suggest."

"Do you think I should go for it though ? Would you ?"

"wellspring assuming this Charmaine chick isn't really, really fresh and trying to take out a debauched one, then sure enough, keel her in. At least you'll get one free shot with no backlash. If you can't remember seeing her at the agency and don't know what she's like, then hey, if she's married, she'll be too scared to kick up a fuss if she turns out to be a dud and you tell her to do it off. And let's cheek it, Dez, your sex life hasn't exactly been front-page news this last couple of years."

"Suppose,"I conceded.

"Yeah, go on, go for it, bro. And hey, if she's not your case, you can always give her my number and let me have a crack."

"Easy, tiger,"I said, snorting a laugh down my nose."One step at a time, eh ? One step at a time."

……….

"Hello, yeah, hi. It's Charmaine here. I'm just calling back like you said."

"Yeah, and you're late,"I barked."I said two o'clock on the dot."

"No, you didn't, I …."

"Are you calling me a liar ?"

"No, I, it's … she started to jibber.

"I've already told you once, it's ‘ lord'from now on. So let's try again shall we ? Are you calling me a prevaricator ?"I growled with a smirk on my facial expression. C'mon bitch, dig your own tomb.

"No, master."

I then heard her fleshy inhale of breathing time down the argumentation. I've barely said ten words and she was terrified. Maybe not of me, but of potentially handing her fate to a concluded stranger. A stranger who has manacle dangling from his bed-head. And by virtue of Pete's clash course in his corking char wisdom, her panting revealed she was already juicing up.

Oh boy, was this going to be fun.

…………..

I established when she'd have a dyad of hours costless clock time to add up over to mine, and ordered her to be here on the dot. She already knew the address. In fact, with her being on the rental stave, I reasoned there was an even chance she could've been inside here before.

I'd come in clean and jerk with my son. For lots of reasons really, not to the lowest degree of which being the fact he had the handcuffs, lubricant and condom stashed away in his bed-room. I can't imagine why he hadn't thrown them away.

Just kidding…

Anyway, my son thought I was nuts, but being as it was his prank which had kick-started this completely fiasco in the first lieu, decided there was no damage in being supportive, although there was no need for his ‘ finis hurrah'comments.

…………

At the allotted time two afternoon later, there is a faint roast at my door….

………….

I was quite taken aback when I opened up to see her for the first of all time, and as we looked at each former uncoiled eye to eye. I'd certainly never seen the woman before in my life story, because I sure as shit would've remembered.

She was about five invertebrate foot two with short brown hair and looked to be in her mid-forties, with big chubby, high-boned, waxy-skin impudence under sparkly drab eyes. Although her smile was weak, almost apologetic and embarrass, her mouth were full and red. Her neck was very blanket and she had a unaffixed, almost dangly turkey double mentum. Her berm were broad like that of a manual laborer, and the blazon protruding from her let loose flowing kaftan seemed short, being flabby and bloated with fat. Her titty where quite large but looked very droopy, like two big charge card pocketbook full of water. Her light blue vertical-striped kaftan did it's just to camouflage the big blob of a woman it concealed, with an belly which could well induce contained overdue ternary. Two chunky, thick elephantine legs stretching down to a pair of fat chubby ankle joint completed the prospect. She must've easy been north of two fifty pounds.

….

"Charmaine, I presume."

She gave a exclusive nod ‘ yes'of her head, causing her flabby double-chin to tilt like jelly and then squash out at the sides as her gaze fell down to the floor.

"Well, Charmaine, there is no pauperism to talk, not even one Book. You don't even have to say the word ‘ skipper ’. But there's only me here in this flat, and if you walk in through this threshold and close it behind you, I'm gon na pass the next hour and a half fucking your nous out."

With that, I turned on my heel away from the wide open door and went and sat on my recliner in the lounge room.

I waited with baited breath. If I heard the door close and then her footsteps clumping up the hall I decided I'd better pop both the vitalagras I had ready and waiting in my pocket.

Although I was surprised by her sizing, I wasn't surprised this get hitched with charwoman wasn't getting her needs met by her husband. He was probably screwing the ass off a nubile houri somewhere, a pixie a quarter the size of his married woman. Maybe some randy Pres Young tart from his workplace, perhaps, a slim bint cipher like what he now had at home. But I cursed him under my breath for being the cause of this big dollop of lard landing on my doorsill. And with both vitalagras now poised in my script, it was a dollop on the verge of getting an good afternoon of decently royal fucking.

………

I heard the Elihu Yale's loud snap as its auto-lock clicked the door fully closed. I held my breath so I could see any sounds, and exhaled with a mixture of emotions when I heard her shuffling her groundwork on the boss ‘ welcome home'infantry wipe in the hall-way.… I swallowed both the vitalagras.

"In here,"I yelled, giving her purpose and direction, and looked back over my shoulder as I felt her front fill the lounge doorway.

"Come on in, don't be shy. I won't morsel, well not on your low visit,"I taunted as I waved my hand indicating she should fully enter the way and stand in front of my relaxed, seated position.

"Now then,"I took restraint as she stood nervously twitching and fidgeting a mere six feet in front of my bent knee."Look at me and listen up …. in here, you are no longer Charmaine, yes ? You left that prim and proper peeress at the threshold. You will now be referred to as ‘ slut ’. You will be my adulteress XX three, but just a simple-minded ‘ slut'will answer from now on, got that ?"

She gave a single nod yes of her school principal, accompanied by a gulp, as her gaze sank down to the floor.

"Look at me,"I barked, causing her top dog to re-lift and her eyes to lock back onto mine."That non-answer has just earned you a lowly but abominable punishment. You know what you should've said, don't you ?"

"Yes, captain,"It was a mumble, but perfectly hearable.

"What was that ?"my printing press making her visibly squirm.

"Yes, sea captain,"her voice now more sweetie and sure.

"I still didn't hear it."I menaced with a growling in my interpreter. I wanted an acknowledged capitulation.

"Yes, superior,"she said, house and committed, but then she took me totally by surprise.

"I just can't do this,"a quaver in her vocalism,"I really shouldn't have come …. I can't,"as she takes a footfall towards the door, obviously about to flee.

I must accept, I panicked. That was completely out of left-field, and I wasn't surely what I should do. I had visual sense of me standing in the dock being sworn in as the charge of abduction and attempted rape were read out to the jury. On the former handwriting, she had come because she needed something, and I'm a sensible guy. Certainly not the heartless dom-master she probably thinks I am. I took the line of credit of least resistance.

I shot to my feet and took two stride to front her and flung my sleeve around as much of her implements of war and shoulder as I could gird, drawing her to my pectus and giving a soothing,"Hey, hey, hey,"as simultaneously she broke down in sobbing wet tears.

"I understand,"I soothed. There was no way I was going to let her walk out in a disillusioned and disturbed state. It would be my word against hers in court.

"Come on, now,"I oozed."fare and sit. If you aren't comfortable with this I'm not going to squeeze you, not if it's not what you really want. That isn't the way this thing works."

I guided her back to my big old mild lounger, and watched as she slowly eased herself down and light unsteadily on its balmy, spongy edge.

"I'm sorry,"she wet sniffed as her tear-wet puffy cheeks glistened it the light."I didn't, can't ……"

"S'ok."I reassured. As least she wasn't going to run out on me."Take a second. You're upset."

"No, I … it's just that when Mal told me what he thought you did …."

She saw me quizzically crease my forehead as I pitched my head to one side.

"Sorry, when Mal, Malcomb from Red roof said you were some sort of male …. Well, he wasn't sure what you were, it sounded like something I might demand. I had to come and see …."

"And what do you need ?"I asked with genuine interest and business concern. She didn't know it, but this was all new territory to me.

"Oh, I don't know. Something different, some inflammation maybe. You've certainly given me that,"she said with a single snort wet laugh down her fluid wet nose.

"Here, let me get you a tissue."

…..

The curtly interlude whilst I went and grabbed a box of tissue paper from my sleeping accommodation gave her enough meter to writhe back into a more normal and comfortable placement in my lounger. I held out the box and she swooshed out several lilliputian white-hot squares.

"So, what do you want to do now ?"I asked."Technically you've booked me for the afternoon…… a complimentary booking,"I added with haste.

"Oh, I don't care if you charge any others or not. It's just that I haven't got any supernumerary money."

Several cruelly cutting and heartless responds sprang immediately to beware, but I thought I'd best keep back my sarcastic mouth shut.

"wellspring, we have the good afternoon,"I repeated my watching as I pulled up a extra chairman and sat opposite this blob queen who had made herself at place in my very own lounger,"So, assure me a bit about yourself."

I honestly didn't want to hear it, because I pretty much guessed what was coming, and I'd only entertained her presence because of the chance of a mindless, guilt-free, prospicient shtup, which apparently seemed now wiped off the computer menu. But I was relieved she was very unconvincing to go to the self-confidence accusing me of being some sort of predatory sexual monster.

I sat for several long minute and listened. Her rambling lifespan report was about as predictable as snowstorms in winter. At a couple of level I couldn't suppress an involuntary late yawn. Then I realised I was growing an erection. Not just any old prowler. This was a full on throbbing steel girder of vitalagra induced weaponry.

sanctum crap …. I'd forgotten about that.

……

I shifted uncomfortably on my uncomfortable wooden chair. I leaned forward almost like I had a cramp in my breadbasket, and with my wooden leg squashed together I pressed my interlace digit clench at the closed gap of my thighs near my knees.

"Are you OK ?"she asked with business,"You look, well, in pain."

In painful sensation ? My boner was threatening to explode.

"It's just that….."I hesitated. It was me who was embarrassed now. I spilled the truth.

"When I entertain, if I were to put it like that, I take an enhancer, you know, a oral contraceptive, to maximize my performance and celebrate me on the go for, well, time of day if needs be. Solely for the benefit of my entertainees, you understand ? I like to intend I send away satisfy clients."

"And you took one when I arrived ?"

"When I knew you'd come in and closed the doorway behind you, yes."

"And you're erm…."as she nods her foreland at my bent over posture,"you're enhanced now ?"

"Like a flagpole."I blurted my confession. It seemed pointless to try stay fresh hiding the uncomfortable truth.

"Oh …"was her traumatise and connive reaction to this unforeseen Revelation of Saint John the Divine."And you took this enhancer ‘ after'you'd met me ?"the signification of the ‘ after'now slowly sinking in.

"fountainhead, obviously,"I said with a dash of annoyance at her slow uptake of the situation.

"So you intended to….."

"Very much so ….."

"wellspring, I suppose we shouldn't let your enhancer go to waste ………."

……..

The end…. of portion one ? You tell me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX