The Upper Floof



I was minding my own business in my order, on the upper floor you understand, the one reserved for gentlemen. I was relaxing after dinner, reading the evening newspaper. Whiling away the time until supper, It was the yr the Titanic sank, 1912.

Leather chairs and oak panels, the spirit of baccy heavy on the air, talk of the Kaiser and of impending war were rife around the table as our hostesses catered to our every need.

Milly, mollie, Moira, genus Melissa, Mary, their names all started with an M. They looked quite overmodest despite uniforms cut to ensure their charms were always displayed. Neatly corseted shank with their breast upthrust yet bared and unrestrained. Tight black jackets with silver buttons cut to slip under their pouting mammaries. The field below their waists entirely bare but for the tapes holding their stockings. Their soft downy Pubes neatly trimmed or shaved.

Gold mamilla and Clitoris hoop twinkled in the firelight. Fish net stocking with seams arrow straight set off pale refined thigh and calves while their multi-colour toe nails peeped from elegant high heeled horseshoe. Neat little rabbits tails attached to little male plug pressed firmly up their tight tooshie and all set off by jaunty picayune lid with necklaces rings and earrings dripping with jewel. And all set up to perform each and any service we may require.

The flotsam and jetsom of the gutters attired like princesses.

Their divine service were provided all inclusive to the rank of the amphetamine trading floor of the ball club. Mouth, back passage and uterus alike uncommitted to any member's member and all bar mouth available to a members finger or glossa though of course of instruction shows of affectionateness such as kissing upon the mouth were not allowed

They worked in relays, obviously Milly Molly et al were not their real name, but we no more cared who they were than they cared who we were. A crooked finger, a gesture and they would saunter across and if indicated would straddle us and simply sink down upon our fellow member. Or suckle a hitch ophidian to inflexibility, or bring an ice frigidity beer or liqueuras our whimsey dictated..

Sometimes they got it wrong, one senior gentleman admitting,"Ye gods I only wanted a whisky,"as Malia extracted his phallus from his fly and began to suck.

But enough setting item, back to this most particular evening.


"Oldbury, where are you ?"one of my Oncorhynchus keta asked.

"Here ? Why ?"I replied.

"Need another damned fool to play poster,"he said drunkenly.

"At your Robert William Service,"I agreed and taking my whiskey I dutifully went across and sat at the table.

The biz was poker, cabaret pattern, Aces High.

Millie the croupier smiled, as she waited to mete out the cards. Her left thumb rested within the folds of her quim pleasuring herself as all the daughter were instructed to do while idling. Her bared chest with fortunate ring swung alluringly to and fro as she rocked gently to her own rhythm as she quietly drifted into a macrocosm of her own as she frigged herself towards orgasm.

"Teddy's in a spot of bother,"Simmonds gloated.

"Bet his damned theater and lost !"Carter laughed.

"And ?"I enquired.

"I don't need a maledict house,"Clearwater sighed,"Bit of a sodomite really."

"So lets us get this straightaway, you won shimmy's sign of the zodiac and don't want it ?"I queried.

"Absolutely, rotting pile,"he agreed.

"So turn over it back,"I suggested.

"Not that leisurely old sidekick, Club rules."Simmonds pointed out,"Needs outside player to win it then teddy can win it back do you see ?"

"You're a blinking fool Teddy,"I said, as looked at the broken shield of a man that fifty dollar bill years of idleness drinking and gaming had created."quite a little me in."

Teddy, 4th Earl of Latchmere, Lord GlenAvon and various other deed of conveyance was several social classes above my lowly station yet many chiliad of guineas poorer.

I may have been brought up as the local anesthetic parson's son but t'was well known I was the Creator of the Manor's illegitimate child and had his guile and line of work acumen. As well as a gift for cards.

I looked at my cards.

"I'll bet two shillings,"Clearwater said throwing Teddy's note for the house on the table.

"I'll raise all in,"I said and Clearwater folded.

I took the note.

"Thank God !"Teddy sighed.

"Not so fast,"I insisted,"I fear you need to learn a lesson, what collateral shall you offer ?"

shift looked aghast,"I have none."

"triplet unmarried daughters,"Simmonds laughed.

"Very well offer one as your stake,"I insisted.

"good god man, don't be an oaf,"chemise snapped.

"well sir I am a by-blow by parentage, though hardly an oaf,"I suggested,"Which child shall you offer ?"

"Oh very well Hilary my youngest."he agreed reluctantly and somewhat drunkenly.

"The one maudlin who never smiles,"Clearwater enquired.

"Maybe old Oldbury here will fuck a smile into her !"Simmonds laughed.

"Hardly, I shall sell to Madame to defray my disbursement,"I explained.

"Turn my girl into a lady of pleasure. Never !"Teddy protested.

"Well I shall allow ten days to vacate the house."I offered.

"Now don't be hasty, Oldbury,"Clearwater interjected,"Don't be an oaf just fold."

"No shimmy needs a lesson,"I insisted,"I'll substitution my household for the daughter whom I shall betray to madame as a whore."

"Done !"grinned Teddy,"Never has a man made such a inadequate bargain !"

I went back to my death chair a job well done and a lesson learned.

Clearwater sought me out,"Teddy rigged you,"he confided,"That girl, Hilary, have you met her ? She came out, what, two age ago, not so much as a dance let alone a dallience, tis said she sips at the leap of Lesbos, and I truly believe far from paying for her charm you would have to pay any ego respecting fellow to have intercourse her,"

"I just wanted to teach the old mug a lesson, '' I explained,"If this so called fille is indeed nineteen summer gone then I'll just let the matter quietly drop, have a few Whiskeys and forget it. ``

But I had not reckoned with the redoubtable Miss Hilary.

She came to my house at noon, I was still in my jammies working at my desk.

Mary my maidservant came to seek me,"There's some woman downstairs who reckons she's your whore."

"What ?"I demanded.

"Hilary something or other."Mary suggested and the aforesaid Hilary burst upon us.

"Father says he sold me to you as your plaything,"she insisted as she stormed into the room.

I stared, she was as far from a fancy woman as one could reasonably get in a female person. I would swear she was fresh from forking the dung from the horse carrel. Her hair was a mess where it spewed out from her riding hat, her clothes a filthy brown coating and shin tight riding britches. Her face screwed with anger and hatred.

"No,"I corrected her."As a whore, a chattel to be used and abused by any as desires it for a modest fee,"

"What !"she snapped.

"A fancy woman to be available to any gentleman who desires her,"I insisted."That was our agreement. Though desirous gentleman may be just as your phiz would scare a whole tribe of Zulus let alone a shy cultured gentleman."

"Ha, so no more of this nonsense,"she snorted,"I submit to no man."

"Submit to none indeed,"I surmised,"I would advise that on the contrary you are in pressing, nay immediate need of a auditory sensation pronging."

"well sir it shall not be from you."she snapped.

"Madam a chiliad guineas would not induce me to prong you,"I said flippantly.

"Good, we are agreed,"she agreed.

"So I shall experience to pay some guttersnipe or urchin to do the human activity in my stead, Thomas More expense,"I said shaking my head in resignation.

She went to come across me. I caught her carpus an column inch no more from her raking my boldness with her long smutty finger nails.

She stank of cavalry, a strangely earthy olfaction which raised enquiry in my loins.

"You madam need taming,"I insisted.

"wellspring it shall not be by you !"she snapped indignantly.

I thought a consequence before I replied."Disrobe this exigent or recount your Fatherhood to vacate my house forthwith."

"No you can not !"she replied in horror.

"Submit or the agreement is empty !"I challenged.

She stared at me. She shuddered as she realised my resolve.

"Very well,"she said icily and she slipped off her heavy coat.

I hung it on the back of a chair for her as she tentatively undid one of the clitoris on her bodice, than a second.

Her finger's breadth trembled, with fear or anger I knew or cared not. The clitoris parted and the bodice swelled. Clearly her mounds were much constricted. It caught my attention. My member stirred again.

"Quite delightful allow me,"I said softly as I helped to relieve her mounds and cupped them in my work force,"It must be such a ease for them to escape their bonds."

"No !"she said wide eyed but I knew in that wink that she was ripe for the taking. Her teats stiffened and extended.

"sporting lady's pitcher's mound are ever freed, shall you like that ?"I asked.

"No !"she snapped though her resolve was uncertain.

"vacillation as free as the shuttlecock. And their snatch, open at all times or plugged with thumb or dildo,"I said in a hoarse menacing whisper."Available to all."

"Do not frivol with me !"she said.

Virgin Mary my maidservant looked on disapprovingly, she was no beauty, well past tike charge age but she had a pleasant plenty ass to love when naught else was offered.

"shears Mary, let us skin the rabbit."Mary obediently fetched the heavy scissors or small shears from the drawer in the side table.

I made an incision into the legging one-half way up Hilary's thigh and started to cut away the coverings. She near froze in fear. A unmarried cut up one leg round the private parts and down the other. Then a single curving cut upwards towards the waist and back down revealing her underwear as the flap of fabric fell away.
Three Sir Thomas More snips from the razor sharp blades and the underthings came away and revealed a mass of hirsute moist curls and beneath a hairy moistened pussy. My member showed a distinct interest and he uncurled uncomfortably within the tightness of me breeches.

"Do you know I think I will fuck you after all."I declared."Mary loosen my knock and crushed my breech if you please."

Mary reluctantly lowered my breeches and underthings allowing my member to constrain and neaten as I pushed Hilary against the table.

"guidebook my fellow member in Madonna if you please."I requested.

"It ent fair, she don't want none and gets fucked and I wants it and don't get none,"Madonna muttered as she obediently guided my rigidifying appendage towards Hilary's pouting quim.

"Later,"I suggested as my phallus gently parted Hilary's pouting cunt lips.

"No !"she said but he body said"Yes yes yes,"such was her want for cock and cock juice.

I felt no ohmic resistance from her virginal membrane, but there were streak of red afterward so I presume she had been virgo intacta and I enjoyed a distinctly average out gallop though at an unexpected metre of day, finishing with a fanfare or at least nine honest squirt of honorable low born cock juice in her aristocratic vagina.

"Madonna for idol sake bathe this urchin before we take her to Madame."I ordered as I withdrew.

"What about my percentage ?"she protested.

"I am afraid you will have to use the rolling pin,"I suggested,"But this fourth dimension wash it before rolling out the pastry."

She blushed crimson,"Very well sir."she agreed.

"Or perhaps you could give this whore learn how to use her fist ?"I suggested with a wink.

Hilary jerked back to reality, her body may have swum with exhilaration but now she faced reality, instead of lovemaking she had been fucked as a flip time. I had no more desire for her to drop my offspring than I had to dance the Viennese valse stark naked at the gates to Buckingham Palace while they changed the sentry duty. I had used her no more. And she had used me.

"Go, get washed,"I said,"I have work to do."

I found Hilary and Virgin Mary an hour or so later. The tin bath was upended on the kitchen floor.
Bathwater feast across the story towards the drainage. Hilary lay naked on the flagstone as she suckled Madonna's monumental teats and rhythmically pressed her clenched fist into Marys winding cunt. Madonna only ever wore a simple dust coat and she too was nearly naked as her smock was largely around her neck.

"I shall burn these ragtime,"I said as I scooped up Hilary's clothes, but she and Mary were too absorbed with each other to notice.

Brabbinger my stableboy coughed. He had been watching from the shadows."The Edward Young lady's Equus caballus sir ?"he queried.

"She's no Lady, she's a foot whore,"I replied as I watched Hilary pleasuring Mary,"Shall you take a jab ?"

"No thank you kindly sir,"he said diffidently."I got my pride sir."

"Well I just poked her,"I said,"nobleman knows why."

"Wiles they has sir, spool you in like,"he says,"Me I likes horses."

Images raced through my psyche,"Quite so."I agreed,"Feed and urine the Equus caballus would you, no send word to my guild, have a consistent sent and a teething ring, take the cyprian's horse."I laughed at my own reversion into poetry,"whore's horse"indeed.

There is only a finite prison term one can watch women pleasuring each former especially untempting ace, so after no more than seven second, twelve at the outside, I went about my business.

Brabbinger returned within the one-half 60 minutes with miss Thomas Middleton, one of Madame's vanity, a weasel faced insipid chested crone of around xxx five summer and XXX thousand men, a street whore with spry finger an eye for beauty and a natural endowment for fitting corsets, stockings shoes and tail stopple as well as the creative person touch which with rouge and powder turns the softened scullery maid or fattest James Cook into an objective of desire.

"Oh my lord, you want a miracle worker and thats a fact,"Middleton said as she saw Hilary embraced in Mary's well muscled arms.

"LE of your insolence, bend over I wish to sleep with you,"I averred.

"Not if you been fucking that you ent, I got my pride,"Middleton said icily.

She set down her bag and took out a tub of butter. Greasing her finger and riffle she advanced upon Hilary even as she continued to pleasure Mary and grasped her firmly, one thumb pressed firmly up Hilary's back passageway and the fingers into her quim.

"Ooh,"Hilary gasped.

"I reckon a two inch up her ass and a three up her quim,"Thomas Middleton opined as she withdrew her finger's breadth and wiped them on a cloth,"Twenty three column inch waist, its like making a silk wedding dress out of a pigs ass,"she said sadly.

"Have some decorum woman !"I snapped.

"Well you ain't no valet are you ?"she challenged.

I gave up and walked off.

An hour later and Middleton sought me out,"I done me best,"she said.

Hilary appeared,"My god she looks almost human,"I agreed,"What say you Brabbinger ?"

My Ostler was lurking in the trace as always. Feasting his centre on Hilary's now ringed button and shaved loins now framed by stocking tape and her ringed mammilla now upthrust by a plastered black-market corset.

"Don't mind if I do sir,"he said as he swept from the shadows.

He strode up to the fille and raised his smock revealing short fat hairy pegleg and a long fat hairy prong, I'll bet there was more whisker on his formal than on a Rabbi's chin.

I only wanted his accord that she looked suitable butbhe obviously decided to misunderstand me and to sample her charms instead.

He grasped her firmly and in a jiffy was Hilary pushed against the bailiwick table and he sank his prong within her soft moist quim. His haired ass bobbled up and down and in and out as he thrust his monster forcibly into her womb.

She barely protested. Her contribution were aroused by the rings and the potions applied to her innards by Middleton's nimble fingers.

"Oh my master !"she wailed,"I am in heaven !"

Now to be quite honest there is petty as dis spiriting as finding one's retainer has a prong unquestionably Superior to one's own both in length and girth and energy, and I turned on my heel and strode away after no more than ten minute of arc at the outside.

The way he kneaded her bosom and crushed her sass with his sass was quite obscene, while the way she raked his back with her nails was quite uncalled for and the grunt and protestations of dear was such to wee me nauseous.

Finally as I departed he grunted like a pig and clearly shot his bolt.

"well done !"Middleton shouted,"assassinator, who knows we may defecate Madame proud of you yet !"

I sat a piece and returned to feel Hilary attired in a cloak. which hid her persona. I saw she walked awkwardly.

"Finished already ?"I asked Middleton.

"Yes sir, Got her hollow plugged and everything."she replied.

"Show me."I insisted.

"No !"Hilary snapped,"You don't own me."

"show the gentleman,"Middleton insisted.

Hilary reluctantly raised the cloak showing a stout leather shoulder strap secured around her genital organ which clearly held quim and anal retentive plugs in place.

"out-of-doors her up I wish to sample her,"I ordered.

"Not now after I perfumed and plugged her and everything,"Thomas Middleton argued."You had every chance sir and if you desire you can fuck her to your hearts message this eve but for now I must deliver her to Madame before my special valet arrives."

"Special gentleman ?"I queried.

"Has me piss on him,"she said proudly, and seeing my disconcertion she added"Well you did ask."

"Oh be gone,"I sighed.

I followed along to the Club later, after fending off Cooks'suggestions that her ass was as tight as anyone's cunt, something demonstrably untrue, and by dinner party time I was gorging myself on saltiness pork and Allium cepa washed down by some of the finest wines from the Antipodes.

Hilary was nowhere to be seen when I arrived. It seemed she had become something of a celebrity and every gentleman seemingly had designs on poking her quim.

I decided they could get on with it and settled down to eat my fill.

However seeing Lord Glenavon, Hilary's father arrive rather the worse for drink gave me an evil notion which I proceeded to put in train.

"teddy bear won't you join me ?"I asked as he staggered by,"Need a third for a triad, new woman of the street motive breaking in don't cha know."


"What ho, yes rather, three way eh, top hole."he stammered out his usual string of cliches and sat down at my table. Milly Molly or some such brought slip a platter of pork barrel and he began to guzzle on it greedily.

Hilary had seemingly metamorphosed into Melissa, a bright red lump gag now flilled her mouthpiece, a clear sign of what we called a screamer. A whore who could not prevent herself vocalising her enjoyment.

I sought out Madame. I swiftly arranged to use Hilary/Melissa as soon as she became available.

Teddy was about to set out on his apple pie when Madame brought Hilary over.

He barely showed any interest but ordered."majuscule, just straddle me wench and let me relieve your quim while I eat my pud there's a dear."He unbuttoned his breeches and extracted his rather woebegone tired and uninterested putz from therein.

It sprawled almost lifeless along his belly but it reared soon enough as Hilary straddled him and sank down until her soft pink quim rested gently upon his length.

It reared like an Indian Snake charmer's snake, a veritable python. Spearing up towards her innards. It seemed quite bizarre. Teddy about to fuck his own daughter unknowingly.

He reached down and aimed his cock between the sass of her quim. She raised herself then sank down with a content sigh and a slight trickle from her nut gag. Then she began to hump greedily.

Teddy laughed,"Bally gamekeeper, spitting mental image of the sod, cuckolded d'ya see ?"He explained,"Never was me girl, should have fucked her years ago."

I shook my head, I had been bamboozled again."Going to climb on ?"Teddy asked,"return the shopkeeper's, three way and all that ?"

"Ah no, I just remembered I have to see old Graithwaite about some business,"I said as Hilary bounced up and down far too energetically on her supposed father's rooster and I left them to their joyous union.

I cursed, far from teaching Teddy a lesson I had learned one myself. I rued my discomfiture and made my way homeward.

Cook hounded me once more seeking a pronging which I was not in any humour to provide so I retired to my bed somewhat cross and slept only fitfully.

The good morning brought further tribulations.

Hilary's sometime baby. A weasel faced, wasp waisted spinster completely devoid of female appendage or so it seemed she arrived at some ungodly hour when no gentleman or gentlewoman should be abroad and demanded to see me.

Cook relayed the information that she was downstairs. I looked at my watch."Ye gods its only ten of the clock !"I protested.

"Shall I send her up sir ?"cook asked,"Or shall you fuck my ass first ?"

"No, I think I can oversee without,"I answered,"I shall come down straightway."

"bettor put thee britches on starting time,"she laughed.

"No, damn it, I shall descend as I am,"I insisted and down I went in my nightshirt to greet the woman.

"girl Latchmere ?"I queried.

"Rip van winkle I presume ?"she replied as she saw I wore only my nightshirt and Nox hat.

"And what brings you here ?"I asked.

"My sawbuck,"she replied sarcastically,"But to be fair I wanted to see exactly what sort of a fool my Padre has been conniving with."

"And have you seen ?"I asked.

"Oh yes,"she replied,"You surpass my worst expectations by some considerable margin."

"Have you merely come to insult me or had you some other purpose in mind ?"I asked.

"Actually,"she said,"I have, you humiliate my sire, prostitute my sister and deflower my chance of making a full marriage."

"You certainly have a bluntness of actor's line about you,"I admitted.

"And now having tricked me into your lair you ravish me,"she suggested.

"Madam I should sooner fornicate with a farmyard sow,"I insisted.

"So I understand,"she said,"But I do believe the constable will trust my narrative when I scream and say how you tore my clothes and sought to ravish me."

"Really ?"I queried as she tried in vain to snap her dress."Allow me."

I grasped the shoulder of her clothes and it ripped right down the front man, I ripped aside the bindings of her mound freeing them,"Remind me, did I ravish you or merely attempt to ?"

"I care not, make me an whirl or I go to the magistrate !"she snapped

"Twenty shillings for your honor !"I offered.

"I meant marriage,"she said,"Dear god are you really this stupid ?"

"stupe yes do-or-die no,"I confirmed,"Though your nipple are most alluring and are roused if I am not mistaken."

"You are mistaken,"she insisted.

"Your parts are not moistened then ?"I queried.

"No More than yours,"she quipped.

I looked down. My penis was pressing my nightshirt out like a tent pole.

"I have not had my morning, ah."I said awkwardly.

"He fucks me ass mostly,"Cook interjected.

"James Cook, '' I snapped"Go away !"

"Hilary said it was tiny,"young woman Latchmere observed,"But it looks monstrous !"

I sighed,"Shut your rattle and lay for me, then you can show the magistrate your torn clothes and a good creaming within your parts."

"Very well, where is the bedchamber ?"she asked.

"Here on the story !"I insisted.

"No, bed me, if you want me bed me properly !"she insisted.

"Oh very well,"I sighed in aggravation and I swept her off her feet and carried her upstairs.

How was I to know it was the most romantic gesture she had ever known ? The poor lady friend's quim was soaking with anticipation and in a moment as soon as had bared it my prong had found a new home.

Her tight virgin cunt gripped my penis."Make lovemaking to me !"she pleaded.

"This madam is merely a unsubdivided fuck,"I explained as I started to make out her,"Though I own a very concordant one."

"Oh that makes me feel so gracious,"she said and she smiled.

"Really ?"I queried,"Usually char ask if I have finished yet, or make some sarcastic remark."

"No, its really skillful, oh my god, its really nice."she said as the bulwark of her Virgo puss instinctively began to milk my cock.

It was all too a good deal and suddenly a great torrent of semen shot from my pubic region and flooded her entirely.

I lay until I was spent and my appendage shrank and them rolled onto my back."Do your uncollectible,"I said and drifted into a content sleep.
"deal it in your hand like thus,"I heard Captain James Cook saying as someone gripped my rooster in their manus,"He ent much of a cocksman, one squirt wonder,"Cook opined,"Still a bit of a suction will probably awaken him."

"What's up ?"I said.

"Damned constable thinks I'm my Sister and that I'm a tart,"miss Latchmere explained.

"So you are trying seduction ?"I queried.

"In a Bible, yes."she agreed.

"You are an ageing weasel faced flat chested spinster, why should I deal note of you ?"I asked.

She thought a moment"Because my eldest boy child shall inherit forefather's title, should you not like your son to be the Earl Latchmere, the 5th Baron Latchmere ?"

"And ?"I queried.

She thought a moment."My sister is a lady of pleasure and she can top on all manner of whorish tricks to restrain you satisfied in the bed chamber."

"Good point,"I agreed,"On your back I wish to fuck you again."


To be continued.

Or would you like Sir Thomas More tales from the upper floor ?