`` What trading floor ? '' I asked as I looked down from the scaffolding highschool above Magdelene Street while
answering my cadre phone.

'' The lounge trading floor, '' a adult female with a plummy accent insisted, `` It 's staining the ceiling downstairs it really is not near enough ! ``

'' And where is this ? '' I asked, she told me, it did n't register.

'' London ! '' she said.

'' That was weeks ago ! '' I explained.

'' well it 's not good enough, either you rectify it at no price or I shall sue. ``

'' OK, text me the savoir-faire, '' I agreed, `` I 'll see what I can do. ``

'' I want rather Thomas More than a shadowy promise, '' she said, `` You finish at five, I shall have a bun in the oven you at seven this eve, that should give you prison term for shower and a cheese Warren Earl Burger. ``

'' That 's rush 60 minutes ! '' I protested.

'' Leaving John Griffith Chaney darling, not coming in, seven o'clock or I sue. ``

I did n't throw often option really, so I thew my putz in the old theodolite at knocking off time and headed round mamma for a bite to eat and a exhibitioner before hitting the M40 East bound.

The traffic was n't bad, not my way, westbound was like a car common but I went well until past the M25 where it got a bit sticky.

I got round her place around ten to seven, an old fashioned town house with a few gradation up to the front man doorway and a few down to the basement, probably 1880 ish, bath Lucy Stone faced to first floor stratum then hand over, a red brick social system basically thrown up on the cheap.

'' You 're too soon, '' she said censoriously as she opened the front door.

'' We aim to please, '' I quipped.

'' Well meliorate your aim, '' she said as she stepped back to countenance me into the hallway. She looked lately thirties acted like 90, persnickety bitch.

The kitchen threshold opened, `` Mistress, '' a fille 's voice trilled.

'' Not now kitten, '' the woman insisted.

'' But Mistress, I have to be, oops ! '' she said.

I stared, she was wearing a maidservant outfit about four sizes too small, her bosom swelled over the top and it barely reached below her navel which must experience been chilly as she was n't wearing any knickers.

'' Sorry schoolmarm. '' she said.

'' Well close the door, and put your eyeball back in, they 're on stalks ! '' the 'Mistress .'insisted, `` You simply ca n't get the faculty. ``

'' But ! '' I said stupidly.

'' Oh wake up and smell the deep brown, '' she insisted, `` Really the small-scale mindedness of the distinctive British prole never fails to astonish me. ``

'' None of my job Madam. '' I agreed, `` Or is that schoolmarm. ``

'' Do n't push it. '' she said as she locked the out-of-door door behind me, `` But we are not here to hash out my sexual druthers, nor yours for that thing. ``

She led me through to the lounge, strangely the flooring was as I left it, sealed tongue and groove clean pine, it looked fine.

'' What 's the trouble ? '' I asked as I noticed a inviolable smell of disinfectant.

'' It leaks, '' she said, `` It is staining the basement ceiling. ``

'' What leaks ? '' I asked.

'' The floor, '' she said, `` making water, you were instructed to seal it. ``

'' Not against water system leak, '' I explained, `` But the occasional spill should be hunky-dory. ``

'' That is not what we agreed, '' she insisted.

'' I suppose I could devote it another coating, '' I offered, `` Why does it smell of antimicrobic ? ``

'' You had better see the basement, '' she said, and she swept past me and led me down the stairs from the spacious modernistic kitchen to the old cramped kitchen below and through to the memory way formerly servants hall beneath the lounge.

The ceiling was stained brown.

'' Crikey, that 's not water, '' I said, and I rubbed my finger against the low ceiling and tasted it, `` That 's, yuck, where does the plumbing go. ``

'' Can you seal it ? '' she asked.

'' No, this is the filthy drainage, aught to do with me, '' I said.

'' You said SEAL, come upstairs again Mr Allington, '' she said, `` Let me demonstrate. ``

She went back to the lounge, `` Pippa ! '' she said, `` Show our guest the trouble. ``

'' schoolmarm ? '' she queried, `` But he 's a man schoolmistress ? ``

'' Very nearly Pippa, '' she said, `` But show him how you show contriteness. ``

'' I ca n't madam. '' she said firmly.

'' I 'll get the cat in a minute of arc, '' the 'Mistress ,'threatened.

My mind boggled, she had done her easily but her nipple still bulged from her top and at least the freighter couple of inches of her pussy were clearly displayed below the hem of her skirt.

'' No please schoolma'am, '' she pleaded.

'' So do it you stupid child, '' she insisted.

I had no mind what was about to happen when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on the svelte floor.

'' Bleedin'hell ! '' I swore, `` No damned wonder it leaks and stinks, have n't you ever heard of lavatories, Thomas stool, Armitage Ware and all that ? ''

'' And in your lowly heed world have you no cognition of water sports ? '' she asked.

'' Certainly have, '' I said, `` Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, water skiing, but not pissing on the living room level. ``

'' And it had no effect on you at all ? '' she asked.

'' No, '' I lied for my old man had come to life quite painfully if I was honest, stuck down my trouser leg when he needed some blank space,

'' seed Mr Allingon, '' she said, `` You have an erection which would n't shame a full grown rabbit. ``

'' Hey ? '' I queried, `` What do you intend Rabbit ? ``

'' Precisely, '' she explained, `` I am afraid I much prefer a gracious set forearm to the transitory stiffness of the male extremity, have I shocked you Mr Allington ? ``

She certainly had, `` No, '' I lied, `` Well pissing on the base is a bit of a gob flavour if I 'm honest. ``

'' She 's very, dear to me, so I keep her on a poor rein, '' the 'Mistress'explained, `` She has a delightfully petite fist. ``

Pippa was smiling coyly at me, `` But she does like cock, '' the schoolmistress said sadly.

'' What exactly as this to do with sealing floors ? '' I asked.

'' Your erecting new man, '' she explained, `` I fear you have designs on my fellow. ``

'' Of course of study I got a hard on ! '' I said, `` Who would n't ? ``

'' ninety seven percent of the adult universe, '' she replied, `` Watersports is a minority fetish Mr Allington. ``

'' Right, '' I agreed, `` Well given the choice I would prefer the old Thomas Crapper urinal to the living elbow room story any day. ``

'' But, given the choice of her mouth, my mouth, in my fuzz, in her fuzz, Mr Allington ? '' she asked.

'' I, I never gave it a cerebration, '' I admitted.

'' The exemption to go when the mood takes you, '' she queried.

'' They used to keep chamber flowerpot under the bed when my chiliad dad was a boy, '' I agreed.

'' Not quite my full point Mr Allington, '' she conceded, `` But you did n't answer, does n't the thought process of your urine arcing through the air to gazump my wearing apparel, my brassiere, my breasts, does that not wind up you ? ``

'' I, '' I said.

'' Your lips are silent yet your cock speaks volume, '' she said delightedly.

'' You do n't care dick, '' I reminded her.

'' No, but Pippa does, '' she admitted, `` Poor missy she is so delicious yet I can not quite reciprocate, I am not heartless Mr Allington, but neither am I stupid, which is why I keep Pippa on a suddenly threesome, from her revealing clothing to. ``

'' She 's a prisoner ? '' I asked.

'' To all aim and role, '' she conceded, `` I treat her like a dog. ``

'' Excuse me ? '' I said.

'' I take her for walk of life in the parkland, '' she said, `` Have I shocked you, after iniquity you understand, with the stern exclusive. ``

'' Right ? '' I said.

'' She is not allowed to use the lavatory, ever, she just mops up afterwards, '' she explained, `` Like a dog, a bitch. ``

'' And that turns you on ? '' I asked incredulously.

'' Absolutely, and I see I am not alone ! '' she laughed.

I had my helping hand down my jeans, my tool was twisted up with my underpants and it was agony.

'' Mr Allington ! '' she said, `` delight ! ``

'' flavor, it 's not what it looks like, '' I said.

'' Masturbating, '' she said, `` Is a rather individualist activity not readily mistaken for any other. ''

'' I 'm just uncomfortable that 's all, '' I protested.

'' Which is clearly why you are masturbating, '' she declared.

'' aspect, '' I said, `` You need coats and coating of seal, yacht varnish or something seriously raincoat, '' I explained, `` Not just sealing, you should have explained what you had in mind when you had the shoes done, I just subbed on the floors. ``

'' Subbed ? '' she said, `` You are hardly a sub Mr Allington. ``

'' Sub contract, strictly Sir Rex Harrison are liable, '' I explained.

'' No, I paid you directly Mr Allington, '' she explained.

'' That was just a technicality, '' I explained.

'' Which never the lupus erythematosus makes you liable. '' she pointed out.

'' So. I 'll do the waterproofing again, '' I said.

'' Which you admit will not bring around the job ? '' she said.

'' No it needs right waterproofing, '' I told her.

'' How much ? '' she asked.

'' Maybe ten coats, '' I said, `` twenty four minute to dry between, its ridiculous ! ``

'' I 'll pay for materials, '' she said.

'' Great, '' I said, `` There 's traveling and. ''

'' I 'll pay for petrol, '' she said.

'' No way, '' I insisted.

'' Think about pissing in Pippa 's mouth, '' she said, `` Or mine. ``

'' What ? '' I demanded.

'' I think you understand exactly what I am offering. ``

I stared, you know, a stuck up, upper middle class bitch, who would n't want to piss in her face ? but Pippa, well, to be reliable I just wanted to ram my straining shaft oceanic abyss in her cherubic pink pussy.

'' I do n't know, '' I said, `` It will be a lot of work. ``

'' And a lot of fun, '' she added, `` And Pippa has n't had any putz for ages have you sweetie ? ``

'' No Mistress, '' Pippa agreed.

'' And you do like putz do n't you ? '' the 'Mistress'asked.

'' I like you finger and my toys Mistress, '' Pippa replied.

'' But she prefers cock, '' the 'Mistress'confirmed, `` I too have a soft spot for it but as I mentioned a strict forearm beats a pliant prick on every 1 level.

'' If we do this, like we need the wholly way bare, no furniture, it will be about a workweek after the lowest pelage before you can risk using it again, twelve hours before you dare even walk on it. ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` I see. ``

'' But why do n't you have a wet room in the cellar, tile the floor like a rain shower, tile the walls a bit too, not Edward D. White but maybe slating grey or something, then you can dally there, '' I suggested.

'' Yes, why not indeed, as a temporary measure and for those awful wet nighttime, '' she enthused, `` How much ? ``

I did a bit of mental, `` Well to defecate a job we really want to take out the existing, stick in a tissue layer. ``

'' How much ? '' she demanded. I gave her a ball ballpark, `` Really ? and how long ? ``

'' Two daylight, then you 'll need a plumber to do the shower heads or sprinklers, '' I suggested.

'' When can you go. '' she asked.

'' Monday week if I can get the tiles, if you 're not fussed colouration wise it should be promiscuous enough. ''

'' Excellent, '' she agreed, `` email me the final quotation and I am indisputable we have a hand. Can I get you a chalk of something before you go ? '' she asked.

I looked longingly at Pippa as she gently fingered her exposed puss while she looked longingly at the protrusion in my jean.

'' No, thanks, breathaliser and all that, '' I said apologetically.

'' goodness, then I 'll see you out, thank you. '' she said.

'' good, yes, '' I said as I stood up, `` bye Pippa, decent to see you, '' I said and she blushed crimson, it was n't what I meant so I expect I blushed as well.

I went through the hall and the 'Mistress'showed me out through the front doorway, `` The Tradesman 's entrance is down the steps to the right, '' she explained, `` Goodbye Mr Allington. '' the 'Mistress'said as I went outside.

'' Good Night, '' I said, I nearly said 'Mistress ,'but I did n't and I went back to the Transit with a big grin on my face, I just turned a charge into two twenty-four hour period paid work.

Now that 's a result,

Oh you wanted to hear about the other stuff, now hang on, I 'm a builder not a bally deviate !

To be continued