Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Dylan Marlais Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from fucking Yorkshire and I do n't apply a bugger what you bloody think because I bloody address as I bloody feel.

We had a bloody bad trip back from America on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made for certain me brass were secure and went to see bloody factor first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a sporting lady boudoir with furnishings to match. agentive role were a Slimy bastard with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood fucking desk about the size of a all-fired cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day Captain, I am delighted to match you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass instrument,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody intellect,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, art object of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you meant governing body,"his supporter chipped in. She was like a unforesightful hirsute gorilla in a black frock with a gob like a English bulldog chewing a wasp.

"organisation, Money,"I said,"Bloody mere enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky bugger ent it ?"

"Brass is an metal of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How a good deal were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round bank and paid it in quick. Daft bastard on counter near fainted at sizing of cheque but I drew out a fair few quid and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody days voyage took, bally steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass in camber and could come plate instead of scratting round down South America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour master what were a mate of mine, we had a chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a decent plump fresh browned one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have hard worker in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad nobs got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody infernal region do I obtain a courteous plump Virgo the Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be blinking lucky to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to conjoin a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, hazard whore house or hook up with a nob. Marrying a nob seemed right idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at poove Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner party bill of fare outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would consume a snack to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make head or rump o menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner party at tea time and noon time was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

Manager come up to me and asked me business,"looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be sodding mind."

He got improper end of stick and suggested a twain of whore sign.

"Nay I want a woman for living see, If I pay out a reasonable bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep forking out for tarts cashbox I gets bloody clap and me cock bunk off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a chap bout Inkerman Street does a smashing range of chastity whack,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his cover to us over there's got more daughters than you can sway a control stick at, why not wee-wee him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his checkmate over a sliver of fish and cliff o wine that woudn't sustain a bloody church building mouse.

"That's William Christopher Handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of daughter to offload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the hellhole are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face up me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no family Felis concolor I'm bloody police captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bally mind."

His poncy nob first mate was pissing they selves laughing at me,"smell if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's Virgo, two pegleg, two arms, duet of bloody mamilla, her own dentition, listening and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George I,"one of his married person, a simpering prat dressed like a ripe ponce says,"You might well tie off your Emily if you play your bill right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody circuit card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his first mate grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this crevice said,"Instead of a demanding a dower he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my home directly and meet my girl ?"

His poncy first mate warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His place needed a slug of paint and the Samuel Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, man, to the servants poop,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the gent explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and speak me bloody nous. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll feel me bloody belt mark thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody charwoman turns up,"By heck you're an ugly bitch,"I says,"Bob Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to poke thee."

"This is my wife headwaiter,"bloke says,"lady McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me assault the chop shot, we her dainty bridge player and one-half in long finger nails."Feisty patch ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite wishes to court of justice one of our daughter heartfelt,"the feller says, I sort of guessed he was Godhead McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my drained body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all friends here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his cheek went a deathlike ovalbumin,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, Tempest, bloody eat water heart bloody spindle bloody secretor bloody blew and I haven't had a damn nookie in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a crashing gut full on't it, bloody Shipping lark."I said,"boldness is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, high bloody clock time to bloody get back down."

"And you seek to motor lodge my daughter ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody Butler poking on her like thee and he does soon as bloody lordship'backrest 's turned."

pantryman blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep open stum so she showed us into parlour."girl,"she says,"Come and fulfill sea captain er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first girl were knockout, light-haired tomentum on her shoulders, blue eyes, square rigged clothes showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second firstborn,"ma'am Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the lady friend asked.

"Bloody ample and in need of a bloody nookie,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"ma'am Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody Scheol, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody katzenjammer. Wi her short-circuit hair and scowling case if it had n't been for her tit you 'd have thought she were a blooming bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your fucking bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't William Tell if it were a bally bloke or a bloody girl eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin son, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in agreement police chief,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an albatross nuzzle in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit slight on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody quick, right fortune her were a bloody virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't thing what her fucking face looked like.

"well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me damn end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a damn virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairish than that."

"master !"Lord Mc protested.

"Little Phoebe hundred,"I offered,"ginzo, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a hoop on her bloody finger, withdraw it or will it."

"We really need the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a fucking wife lass, not just a bloody bawd to shag, someone to look after me bloody house, Captain Cook, clean look after bloody kids, that form o thing."I ventured.

"No pretending of honey or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, fucking affection, I just wants a flaming piece of ass, you wo n't do better than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty objet d'art ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee mentation I were bloody messing."

Lord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pocket full of gold.

"Take a methamphetamine of wine-colored police chief,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the early daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her tranquillise down a moment,"master Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about enough to submerge a bloody shiner, tight fisted sod.

He had his missis go and form Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"Stop it, stop it mother I woukd rather die than marry that terrible man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair flaming price, what's faulty wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail boots clattering on fresh polish oak floors, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber housemaid and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across typeface with a absolutely Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee duration stockings, no pants or naught but showing her privates and skillful creamy thigh.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her legs wide,"Take a facial expression chieftain,"peeress Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody bullies, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the ilk of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"dame Mc replied but the spark of light off me obelisk blade soon changed her bloody tune,"leave-taking them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to dispatch me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd bolt down your bloody female parent if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't key pattern lass, I never had to force a bloody wench to love me in me bloody life."

She sat on the boundary of the bed and covered her private as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hired man away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingerbreadth gently up her thighs and then I started to share her twat lips with me finger's breadth. It weren't the offset time. Her cunt was well used.

"flavour like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody cd then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody baby doing a time or two ?"

"How did you love ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big sea rover belt and let me trews twilight,"Lashkar-e-Toiba foretell it our little bloody secret shall us ?

"Look master,"she protested but me finger's breadth were no bloody alien to a dame's cunt and wi me hitch on her little nub her tits were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't await me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But maitre d'hotel,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no ripe ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh trough I got me natural language in the groove between her rim down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her pussy was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody guide me ?"I asked me knob straining like a all-fired Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were like dish, she said nowt but grasped me boss and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody boss end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an Anchor up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. rightfield in till me balls were banging on her genital organ,"What the bloody hell size bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being flaming make out ent so crashing bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple standard candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the damn fuck. Once I shot me bloody load in thee its for bally liveliness like, if thee can't venter it say now and I'll shoot me bloody load over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"fifty dollar bill guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody onus over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly sea captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not throttle yourself and I believe you have a kind heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to dart a Cupid's disease of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me balls was bloody crinkling and me hammer was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant sea captain,"she chuckled,"Next meter perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody cock hard I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may absorb my teat if it help force out youl."And with that she pylled her bosom right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody diametrical,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her conclusion. Our mouths met, our natural language entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me hammer reared and before I knew it we was crashing screwing again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an 60 minutes or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, praise,"Lord Mc chorted,"Let us have the booking announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a blooming sea captain, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do bloody marriage ceremony, no bloody need to ware bally organization on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a time or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the visible light behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what matter and she's flaming protagonist and no damn slip even if she is from flaming Lancashire .