chieftain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from all-fired Yorkshire and I do n't give a sod what you bloody call up because I bloody speak as I bloody find.

We had a fucking bad trip back from America on steamer and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure as shooting me brass were safe and went to see crashing agentive role first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a Tarts boudoir with furnishing to match. Agent were a unworthy bastard with slicked down tomentum and poncy case. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of it of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"commodity day Captain, I am delighted to run across you at cobbler's last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me organization,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody intellect,"I explained to the nescient Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the establishment,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you meant Brass,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a poor haired gorilla in a black dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody dewy-eyed enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"Brass is an admixture of bull and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever squawk eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bally fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the request price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped labialize bank and paid it in nimble. Daft mother fucker on sideboard near fainted at size of cheque but I drew out a evenhandedly few British pound and went about me business.

fifteen bloody days voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at live on I had some governance in depository financial institution and could make out home instead of scratting rung down south America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour skipper what were a Ilex paraguariensis of mine, we had a chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a nice plump novel brownish one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slave in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in XXX three and anyroad nob got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody Hades do I get hold a gracious plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody lucky to recover one in Salford at all, thee'll have to espouse a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk of exposure whore theater or conjoin a nob. Marrying a nob seemed beneficial idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at queen mole rat Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner Menu outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would have a pungency to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make straits or arse o card so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea time and high noon time was lunch. Anyroad I had a feed.

director come up to me and asked me business,"looking for for a nob to splice,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got damage end of stick and suggested a couple of whore sign of the zodiac.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a bonny bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an asset see, not maintain forking out for tarts cashbox I gets blinking clap and me cock bunkum off."

"You can't proceed hard worker anymore, but there's a fella stave Inkerman Street does a smashing range of sexual abstention rap,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his spine to us over there's got more girl than you can shake a stick at, why not make him an offering ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a shaving of fish and cliff o wine-colored that woudn't sustain a blinking church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a dyad of daughters to offload like ?"I says heterosexual person out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no menage painter I'm bloody maitre d'hotel bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me fucking mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"looking if its bloody establishment you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's Virgo the Virgin, two legs, two arms, twain of bloody nipple, own dentition, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can execute in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his Ilex paraguariensis, a simpering prat dressed like a right procurer says,"You might well get married off your Emily if you play your wag right."

"I ent playing no bloody notice,"I said,"Hard John Cash, I knows too many bloody lineup sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his teammate grabbed his arm.

"Saint George, think, he'll pay,"this bloke said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my daughters ?"

His poncy partner warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His topographic point needed a poke of rouge and the Butler's crownwork had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, Gentleman, to the servant quarters,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a invitee, Mr '' the blighter explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and verbalise me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody berth or thee'll sense me damn belt Cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your amnesty,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody fair sex turns up,"By heck you're an ugly bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to poke thee."

"This is my wife police captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me round the chop, we her niminy-piminy hand and half in long finger nails."Feisty objet d'art ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite wishes to tribunal one of our daughters pricey,"the cuss says, I sort of guessed he was Lord McGonnegal, Jehovah Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"come now we are all Friend here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his face went a mortal Patrick White,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe risky venture in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, tempest, bloody fertilise water pump bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a all-fired shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, bloody Shipping lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, high up bloody time to bloody resolve down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"madam Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her like thee and he does soon as bloody Lordship'spinal column 's turned."

butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit crashing nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Godhead Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into parlour."female child,"she says,"Come and come across Captain er, what is your gens ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first female child were knockout, blonde hair's-breadth on her shoulder joint, blue eyes, square rigged garb showcasing her knocker, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, any route her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my irregular eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody racy and in need of a crashing fuck,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me crashing creative thinker and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of comeliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil picture, well if her was it were by a damn kid wi a bloody katzenjammer. Wi her short hair and scowling expression if it had n't been for her knocker you 'd suffer thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody stakes were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"dame Mc asked.

"Couldn't Tell if it were a bloody bloke or a blooming bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an millstone nest in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody wooer are a bit cut on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit crashing quick, good chance her were a bloody virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't affair what her bloody look looked like.

"fountainhead I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a fucking virgin I ‘ ll shtup thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"headwaiter !"nobleman Mc protested.

"Five hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to use up her off thi bloody hands and put a doughnut on her bloody finger, deal it or result it."

"We really need the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this demon for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a blinking wife lass, not just a bloody fancy woman to shag, someone to take care after me bloody mansion, Captain James Cook, plum looking at after blooming small fry, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of passion or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bally affection, I just wants a bally screw, you wo n't do better than that and I shan't bloody offer a bloody gain."I said.

"commodity,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer police chief is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the hard currency,"I said,"If thee thought I were bally messing."

Lord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pocket full of gold.

"Take a glassful of wine Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughter insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a moment,"Maker Mc suggested,"I have a gracious Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about enough to drown a bloody black eye, tight fisted sod.

He had his missis go and sorting Francis out.

I heard a din,"Get off me !"I heard the girl objection,"Stop it, stop over it mother I would rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair bloody Mary Leontyne Price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the phone up the stairs me hobnail thrill clattering on fresh polish up oak floors, money box I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maids and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a absolutely Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corset and knee length stockings, no breeches or nothing but showing her private and nice creamy thigh.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her legs wide,"Take a look master,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody yobo, sodomize off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"gentlewoman Mc replied but the glint of light off me obelisk blade soon changed her bloody melodic line,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me skipper ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the threshold shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd kill your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lass, I never had to force a damn dame to fuck me in me bloody life."

She sat on the border of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her paw away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me digit gently up her thighs and then I started to contribution her bitch lips with me finger's breadth. It weren't the for the first time time. Her cunt was well used.

"Looks like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody baby doing a sentence or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews capitulation,"Lets hollo it our little bloody hugger-mugger shall us ?

"Look master,"she protested but me finger's breadth were no bloody strangers to a bird's cunt and wi me hitch on her petty nub her tits were getting squeamish and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't await me to contain now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But senior pilot,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her mammilla and on down to her cumulation. She variety of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me spit in the groove between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her bitch was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee flaming take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were like dish aerial, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody snatch like an Anchor up a hawse pipe.It were fucking heaven. rightfield in trough me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell size of it bloody candela youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh police chief,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek organisation for the blinking fucking. Once I shot me crashing load in thee its for fucking life like, if thee can't tummy it say now and I'll shoot me bloody incumbrance over thee belly and say no More about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty Republic of Guinea,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody shipment over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly headwaiter, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a variety core under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to fool a Zen of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me balls was fucking crinkling and me cock was all-fired throbbing and suddenly it were too belatedly for bally pullin'out and she was well fucked with me succus pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bath first so it is less like being ravished by a raving mad boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suction me blooming putz difficult I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may blow my teats if it helps to rouse you."And with that she pulled her tits right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to finger your manly pectus against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody diametric,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our sassing met, our tongues entwined. It do n't weigh much what they bloody look like wi your spit in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was blooming shag again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hr or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're concordant like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, congratulations,"Maker Mc chortled,"Let us throw the engagement announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a flaming sea captain, '' I explained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do crashing marriage, no bloody need to waste bloody memorial tablet on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a clock time or two her started smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the visible radiation behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what issue and she's bloody champion and no error, even if she do come from bloody Lancashire .