For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a skillful version of myself. A hero to someone, but every time I see danger or trouble, I end up ... freeze. I guess the hero life story is just not for me ... I never introduced myself though did I daybook ? You 're new, I 'm new to you and here I am already throwing poppycock at you like this, I 'm sorry. My gens is Leon, Leon Jimmy Carter. I 'm 14 and I 'm a highschool fresher. I love games, comics, dancing, cocoa and I 'm a BIG, BIG Superhero fan, namely ... Superman.

I know, I know ... one would say that a guy my age is should be more into Batman, or really should n't be into cartoon torpedo at all ... but I just love it. The level, the superintendent family, and the new Superboy Jonathan ? So lovely ! Not many people like it, and I get it, but I guess ... to each one their own I guess ...

But this entry tonight is not for me to talk about Superman, but about ... well ... who I am.

Sorry about how I unevenly write, I 'm just not used to it, but here we go !

I ... am adopted, I do n't remember when or how I got here but the bomb just dropped one day for me. My parents called me down and enjoin me one day. I 'd say I took it kinda well, I did n't cry or anything, do n't even think I felt anything actually ... I got dull and just ... kept on animation. Maybe it 's due to the fact that my parents have intercourse me so much and that I do n't get laid anything other than them as my parents, but I did n't sense anything blackball towards them ... anyway, I go to school day, I have a best booster and mint of champion that take concern of me because they say I 'm endearing. I guess that 's cool actually, that everyone likes me this much. I just do n't get what I have that 's so impressive.

One thing about me that I find ... well, weird is ... well ... I do n't even eff why I 'm writing it as if I 'm talking but whatever ...

I do n't experience confortable in relationships.

I love how my Quaker like me and concern about me, I love my parents, but the mere opinion of having someone actually love me to the point of wanting to be WITH me gets me ... anxious. I 've had two girlfriends before, sooo let 's lecture about that.

My first girlfriend 's public figure was Eva. She was sweet, she was beautiful ... had these brownish-yellow eyes and blackened hair ... She would always stay put around me, said she 's protect me and my smile, and I said I 'd do the same for her ... turns out ... other people feeling the Lapp as you can cause mickle of trouble. The fact that my friends all like me just as much made her feel ... unappreciated ... and I ca n't blame her. We broke up in 3 months.

My secondly girl was called Lola, and she was awing. toughie girl, long mordant hair's-breadth and blue eyes I 'd easily get lost in. She was really, really strong-armer ... nearest to a genuine lifespan heroine I could fulfill. One day, we were coming out of the motion picture when we were jumped by this guy with a tongue ready to rob us. As I said, I froze, I could n't do anything ( And regret it to this day ) but her ? She flipped the guy over herself as if he was made of newspaper publisher, dunno if it was shock or reverence but he simply got up and ran away from us. I 'm grateful to her ever since this day. We really hit it off as a couple. Similar tastes, music and games ... but ... well ... she 's an ex for a reason right ?

She told me something, something that scared me a lot ... she said `` I love you ''. And I could n't ... say it back to her. And after 3 daylight ... we talked it out and broke up ... I just ... could n't ...

Ok, I just gave myself some face smacking and I 'm gear up to talk about the next person ... the one I let loose all the time. Ian Anderson.

I 've known Ian ever since we were small. We always had fun together ... he is so genteel and happy and there 's something about the way he winks that just says `` Do n't worry, I got it ''. He is my age and we are in the Lapp grade, we like the Saame poppycock and he 's really brave ... unfearing guy I 've ever known. He is my one true hero, and I ca n't help but notice that ... everytime he winks at me, reassuring me that everything is going to be ok ... my heart skips a beat. I get unquiet, I get happy and kinda disappointed that I get to find this way and have no theme what to do with this flavor ...

Ian is my ripe friend, always was. I feel ... Weird when I 'm around him. I 'm always happy with him. I 'm laughing writing this because ... there was this time he got here, my parents were out and we played game all day, danced around like a crew of kids, sang together and even had pizza pie for dinner. It was one of the felicitous days of my liveliness. So pall, so skillful ... he always reassured me that he was having a lot of fun with me, and I could say the same to him. He was the reasonableness I even changed my trend !

I used to have a messy melanise whisker, one day, he just went `` Hey, ever thought of like ... dyeing your hair ? Blond or something ''. I remember it vividly ... he ... ran his fingers on my hair on the area that should be blond and said `` Maybe low-down it on the face a bit ? ''. I laughed at that, it was so ... Henry Sweet. I would never look as cool as Ian though. His hairsbreadth is spiky Robert Brown, his eyes are the most beautiful nicety of leafy vegetable ... different shades. Yeah, you heard me.. uhh .... register it. He has heterochromia and it 's the coolest thing ever !

Which brings me to the ... reason I 'm writing this down ... I 've been feeling different about him ... not the skipping a split second ... more like ... I want to be so much closer to him, not seeing him distress ... and my friends seem to remark that I 'm dying when he is not around. They poke fun, proficient natured of trend, but I was thinking ... maybe ... I 'm not the only one feeling like that ... what if I really am not ? What if he feels the same way ? Oh God what if he does n't ? Why am I so ... crazy about it ? Am I going wild ?

Is it ... just me ?

Maybe I 'll tempt him over tomorrow ... try to verbalise about it ... I 'll be home alone, great chance. What could go wrong ?