Let me start by saying that I have never been raped nor have I raped anyone.

All my experience is strictly second script, however it is extremely adumbrate.

Back in the mid 90s if you looked at my animation on newspaper publisher you might reasonably ask questions like, " What do you eat ? Where do you sleep ? How do you live ? ! "

Let's just say that you'd be storm how long one can survive on nix more than charm and just looks.

Now if I were to say that back then I was an achieve spit wagger that would most certainly be a stunt man entendre.

Not that I wasn't also a brilliant conversationalist, the thoroughgoing party guest really, but I traced the story of love life in the walls of More than one jade bedchamber if you follow me.

And if you don't follow me then it's pussy, I'm talking about eating pussy.

I wouldn't say that I was known for it, but the women that knew, knew the screwing out of it.n

Once, when I started dating this little girl who happened to be friends with one of my ex she asked her, " Is there anything I need to know about this Eric guy ? "

And my ex says, " I'm not gon na let you nibble my brainpower but I will narrate you this, he eats pussy better than any woman I've ever been with. "

Now I'm not saying this to swash, but rather to let you know who it was that met this lady friend out drunkenness that night.

Back then I was quite the bar fly with strangers buying me drinks all the fourth dimension, and even barman would buy me drinks when they were engaged because I helped entertain their guests and kept'em there drinking.

I even had some buy me crapulence when they were slow just because they themselves enjoyed talking to me.

Anyway, one dark at an subway system watering hole that I frequently visited she came up to me.

I'll call her Lori, since that was her name, and she was a little spitfire.

She was not at all like the woman I had mostly dated before.

Most of my onetime buff had been full bodied adult female with big tits.

Not because of any predilection of mine necessarily but rather those were the lady friend that most often hit on me.

My thinking back then was don't hit on women, but flirt mercilessly, and the girls aggressive enough to hit on you are not only totally down to have intercourse, but probably strong-growing in the bedroom too.

By that I don't mean violent or anything but you know, like the sort of young woman who are more likely to suck cock.

I love eating snatch but sex is about power central so I also love getting my cock sucked by a little girl who at to the lowest degree the like to do it.

See, I don't fuck, I make love.

Even if I barely know you, even if it's a one night stand.

I never do it with anything to a lesser extent than my whole heart because I know that every time could be my last, and I don't want to go out like no halfassed petty bitch.

But back to the bar ;

First of all she was small in stature, which I didn't posting at kickoff sitting next to her at the bar.

However I did notice her curly smutty hair and the freckle across her button nose.

It also didn't take a hell of a long time for me to figure out that she wanted my attention and didn't mind buying me drinks to get it, which was my jam back then.

I only had to suggest once that I might have to go soon because I was out of money and she immediately volunteered, " I'll buy your drinks man, stay here and hang out with me ! "

Now let me make it clear that I am not a double-dyed whore.

If she hadn't been pleasant ship's company I wouldn't have stayed.

I mean I totally would've downed a couple of dislodge swallow but then I would possess split instead of drunkenness with her until last call and going back to her place.

Most women in that situation submit you home and roll in the hay you poor fish, at to the lowest degree in my experience, but not Lori.

I mean we kissed, we cuddled, it was nice, but she wouldn't go past a certain point.

But I didn't think anything of it really.

The way I saw it, and the way I still see it is, I was, ultimately, a strange guy, drunk, twice her sizing and weight, and in her space, whatever she did or didn't want to do, that was a okay with me because I ain't trying to make nobody uncomfortable.

The next dawn after we got cleaned up I said I had to leave to attempt food and she was immediately like, " Oh, are you athirst ? Let me get you something to eat. "



That's pretty much how it went from there.

Whenever I expressed a need she offered to fulfill it, no questions asked.

I never had to ask her to party, and she could go shot for gibe with me, which for a girl her size was goddamned impressive.

Do think of that I was kind of a professional sot at this point.

When I did make it was in the restaurant business sector which in Nashville meant the bar business organisation.

I was a cook and my trick about that is, " My first chef was an souse. In other words, a chef. "

When it's your job to make early citizenry's fun you need to have fun doing it so to facilitate that inebriant and several early drugs were used quite liberally when I worked in the business.

hospitality was our stage business, and being in the south we always strived to be extra hospitable.

Just as a niggling aside, there are many thing about the south that are unearthly, fucked up, and need to commute, but the idea of being a gracious host, and a maintaining a certain level of civility and courtesy, even between enemies ?

We need to hang on to that shit like grim death because that's a cultural norm worth preserving.

If you can deal with your foes with a modicum of respect you may discover a way to earn them your supporter, but if not at the very least you can hate each other in heartsease.

So Lori basically kept me, and since she paid the piper she called the tune.

We met on a Fri, spent the weekend together, and when Monday rolled around she was real number casual about leaving me at her place when she went to work.

She was just like, " You can hang out here, eat, watch TV, or whatever. If you leave just lock the room access, and if you want you can address me later and I'll cull you up. "

It was just so cool how she let me be intimate she wanted me there but I could take the air right out and she wouldn't be mad or anything.

At least that's the way it came off to me.

By then I had met her roommate, this redheaded fair sex who was just as wild as Lori, and totally nice.

In fact, yeah, we all three went back to their post that 1st night.

At first I thought maybe it was a tercet situation but as soon as we got there it was more than clear that she'd been there as Lori's faithful wingman.

She seemed really happy to see Lori cuddling up with me, and I didn't think anything of it.

I just figured that she was a proficient friend, and she was, but of course there was more going on.

My make out Roger Huntington Sessions with Lori were getting pretty fucking hot and heavy, and I sort of felt something was up because sometimes when she stopped things from going further she seemed a small ill at ease.

We hadn't fucked yet, or even bewilder oral, but she was paying for me and could do what she liked as far as I was concerned.

I think because of my easy going attitude and her ability to judge character it didn't take long before she trusted me enough to spread out up and tell me what the spate was.

Apparently she had been raped a few old age earlier and it had really fucked with her head in regards to sex.

She hadn't been with anyone since then because of the trauma, and although I didn't think of it in these term at the prison term I'm sure that she had some PTSD.

She asked if I could be patient with her and of course I was more then felicitous to comply.

The scandalize part about this, besides the obvious, was that Lori was a powerful, confident woman, and she had Moxie as they used to say.

I mean she was a real side arm.

Clever, funny story, and strong willed as she was it was hard for me to imagine her being anyone's dupe.

I mean if it could chance to her, darn !

Not to go too ghetto about it, but if she could get got what chance does the modal bitch have ?

She was so sweet and kind that the estimation of anybody hurting her really made me raging and sad, but the idea that they could bollocks up something as wonderful as sex for her was just so damage to me.

Talk about adding vilification to injury.

It was like a shit sandwich and the loot is made of bastard.

At that point it became sort of a holy missionary work for me.

Sex is one of the nice things we humans do with each other so if I could help her to enjoy it again then by God I was gon na do everything I could.

So we carried on and now that I was armed with more knowledge of the state of affairs I was able to see that I had been playing it right, but I refined my technique.

For case, before when she'd put the prisonbreak on thing I'd back off as far as I felt I needed to in guild to make her comfortable without being cold or upstage.

Sometimes continuing to check her, but even if she needed me to back way off, to where I was lying side by side to her, I'd still hold her hand, or allude my human foot to hers, or something to let her know that I was staying with her, and it was all cool.

I still did those things but I was more mindful of how she felt, and responded accordingly.

Like one time I was on top of her.

We had been kissing and variety of dry humping when she suddenly stopped me, and she really seemed kind of frightened.

So I flipped us over so that she was on top of me, and then I laid my implements of war back in a submissive posture, speaking softly, reassuringly.

Saying things like, " It's okay child, I'm not gon na do anything you don't want me to. " and just reinforcing the idea that this was her party, and she was in charge.

There's something that's so gratifying about being able-bodied to fulfill someone's excited needs, and although I may not be a licensed sex therapist I did some work with Lori that I'm really proud of.

Eventually she was able-bodied to relax enough to have my oral acquirement, and we did bear penetrative sex as well.

The first time was on the sofa in the living room.

We were making out, kissing snuggling, fondling, and petting, our common stuff, when she suddenly just said, " I want to do it ? "

" Are you sure ? " I asked.

" Yeah, I'm sure. " she assured me, pushing on my chest for me to get up.

She was wearing a annulus so she just slipped out of her pantie.

I took my bloomers down, and was gon na remove them off entirely, but she pulled me back down on top of her.

With my pants down around my ankles I got into position as she reached in between us, grasping my cock and guiding it into her fiddling beloved hole.

I don't know how to adequately explain the right mix of emotions on my side of the equation, but since I fancy myself as some kind of author I shall strive to build the attempt.

First of all I hadn't been made to look for sex by either circumstances or the girl herself since I was in high gear schooling, and even back then I hadn't waited this long.

I honestly have to say that what intrigued me from the kickoff was that she wouldn't or couldn't consummate, and so I wanted to press the limit of that, or rather see how far that extended, if that makes horse sense.

Don't get it twisted though, I'm not saying that every fair sex wanted to hump me or anything insanely self-loving like that.

I can't even claim a statistically significant per centum, but the cleaning woman that did desire to fuck me didn't slime about is what I'm saying.

They'd nose dive straight the fuck in.

Besides, realistically, what was I doing with my life that was so pressing ?

I just felt that if she really wanted me then I'd continue to make myself available for whatever she did or didn't want to do.

After all she was beneficial company in every single way, up to and including snuggle buddy.

So all the built up sexual tension, along with the true affection and esteem I couldn't help having for her just from getting to know her for this short time was the base for this cocktail.

I also felt immensely lofty of her for so actively taking part.

Not that she'd ever been completely passive in our sessions or anything like that.

At times she could even be pretty aggressive, but since the totally degree of this exercise was to learn how to relax, and trust another person with her body again there were clock time when she would just lay back and let me gently explore her.

When she was done she'd let me sleep with and we'd cuddle or just lie together.

We almost never spoke to get this information, but rather used the hint and sounds that are the lyric of dearest, and all modesty aside, at this point in my life I was fluent in said language.

Bottom assembly line, the fact that she was not just passively accepting me, but was actively inviting me, both verbally and physically, into her nearly internal space was clearly the culmination of a process that started long before she met me.

I was grateful to be there with her, and be a office of her healing process because all we have in this biography is each former, and we so often carelessly cause each other pain that getting the opportunity to consciously do the reverse is a aureate opportunity.

I never even imagined that I would get the probability to use my boozing and womanizing for good so how could I not embrace this ?

I was also slightly apprehensive.

This was a pretty big step after all and despite all the good employment we'd done together I didn't want her to bear on too far too fast before she was ready.

I certainly didn't want her to experience that she needed to fulfill my desires since just being with her was a pleasure for me.

I just had to hope her judgment.

She knew better than me where she was at and what she was fix for.

Besides it wasn't as if I didn't want to have sex with her, in fact it was quite the opponent just in case I haven't made that sparkling clear.

I don't want to sound too cheesy or anything, like those love story novels my grandmother used to read, but when I entered her for the first time, once I was fully ensconced, and we were holding each early, it wasn't just beautiful, it was fucking magic.

Our relationship went on for a while, but at a sure period I was tired of being a cheap working girl, which is basically what I was, no affair how nicely I try to hush up it.

Thing is that during that time I had some hot cleaning woman give me their numbers but I just never called them.

One of them even did it right in social movement of Lori, and when she walked away Lori just grinned at me with that cute, infectious enthusiasm.

Now that I think of it that smile had a lot going on with it, like a multilayered cocktail of New York minute, nods and other signals communicating a lot of complex information simultaneously.

Maybe my experiences with her had just built up my ego respect to where I couldn't live as a kept man anymore, or maybe it was just clock time to do something else, but that was the last time I let a adult female pay my bills.

A twosome of years after I stopped seeing her we ran into each former and it was awesome.

She was glad to see me, she took me out to a glamorous drag show where she knew the coach of the place, and we saw a utter on Cher impersonator.

The coach explained that their featured performer had actually gone on tour with Cher.

Apparently she'd come out doing her act, the crowd would be into it, and then Cher would get into from the other side of the degree, blowing their minds.

Of form she plied me with drink, and we smoked some bud.

I miss her in my liveliness but I know in my heart that she is out there somewhere being awesome, and I know that the citizenry around her have it off how lucky they are to be in her lifespan because she chooses her associates carefully.

I honestly haven't thought about Lori in years, although now I'm not entirely sure why.

I suppose I'm not particularly proud of how I mostly wasted my life during this time period, but as I come to write this story some questions occur to me that I hadn't ever considered before.

I guess the independent one would be did Lori have intercourse who I was before we met ?

It's a fairly question really because as I said I was fairly well known around the hip bars in capital of Tennessee, and having worked at a striptease club and dated a ecdysiast who was also deep into the goth/punk/art conniption I guess I had kind of a rep long before this.

Bartenders knew me, and they knew Lori.

As a operose drinker and a big tipper she was beloved by many a bartender so if she saw me and asked it wouldn't take her tenacious to observe out about me.

It's entirely potential that she just asked the bartender at Multi-Bob when I went to the lavatory or something that first dark, but knowing Lori that seems unlikely.

Either we just met, she took a opportunity and trusted her own opinion, or she researched me pretty thoroughly.

I have seriously never even considered it until this moment but the Sir Thomas More I think about it the more I lean towards the later.

It just makes too much sense based on everything I know about her, especially how lots she loved a bargain.

I went with her once to buy a new futon physical body and she was incredibly shrewd about negotiating price, and trying to get anything extra that she could.

She was like a bargain shark.

After about the third base thing she asked about the theory of getting for free the salesperson said, " No, but you're good. " sounding genuinely impressed.

We did end up getting something extra too.

Now for what she needed a sex therapist, or hell even a jigalo would possess been pretty fucking expensive, but I was a comparative bargain.

Not that I would take care if that is the case.

If anything I would be even more yarn-dye, and quite frankly flattered that she chose me.

It takes a certain talent to see mortal that others regard as useless, who may even see themselves as useless, and employ their talents.

So that's my tale, and if I could consume you remove anything from it, that would be a new respect for the power of empathy, and a desire to practice it.