For as long as I can think of, I have always wanted to be a better edition of myself. A Hero of Alexandria to someone, but every clip I see danger or fuss, I end up ... freezing. I guess the hero life is just not for me ... I never introduced myself though did I journal ? You 're new, I 'm new to you and here I am already throwing stuff and nonsense at you like this, I 'm sorry. My public figure is Leon, Leon Carter. I 'm 14 and I 'm a highschool fresher. I love plot, strip, dancing, chocolate and I 'm a BIG, BIG Superhero fan, namely ... Superman.

I know, I know ... one would say that a guy my age is should be more into Batman, or really should n't be into cartoon sub at all ... but I just love it. The storey, the super mob, and the new Superboy Jonathan ? So adorable ! Not many people like it, and I get it, but I guess ... to each one their own I guess ...

But this entry tonight is not for me to talk about Superman, but about ... well ... who I am.

Sorry about how I unevenly write, I 'm just not used to it, but here we go !

I ... am adopted, I do n't remember when or how I got here but the bomb just dropped one day for me. My parents called me down and told me one day. I 'd say I took it kinda well, I did n't cry or anything, do n't even think I felt anything actually ... I got dead and just ... kept on life. Maybe it 's due to the fact that my parents bang me so much and that I do n't make love anything former than them as my parents, but I did n't feel anything negative towards them ... anyway, I go to shoal, I have a best friend and lots of Friend that take care of me because they say I 'm adorable. I guess that 's cool actually, that everyone likes me this much. I just do n't get what I have that 's so impressive.

One thing about me that I find ... well, weird is ... well ... I do n't even roll in the hay why I 'm writing it as if I 'm talking but whatever ...

I do n't feel confortable in relationships.

I love how my friends like me and worry about me, I love my parents, but the simple thought of having person actually love me to the point of wanting to be WITH me gets me ... anxious. I 've had two girlfriend before, sooo let 's talk about that.

My first lady friend 's name was Eva. She was sweet, she was beautiful ... had these yellow-brown oculus and total darkness whisker ... She would always beat around me, said she 's protect me and my smile, and I said I 'd do the same for her ... turns out ... early hoi polloi feeling the Saame as you can cause fortune of bother. The fact that my Friend all like me just as a lot made her feel ... unappreciated ... and I ca n't find fault her. We broke up in 3 months.

My second girlfriend was called Lola, and she was awesome. bully fille, long black tomentum and down heart I 'd easily get lost in. She was really, really hood ... snug to a real life heroine I could cope with. One day, we were coming out of the movies when we were jumped by this guy with a knife make to rob us. As I said, I froze, I could n't do anything ( And regret it to this day ) but her ? She flipped the guy over herself as if he was made of newspaper publisher, dunno if it was shock or awe but he simply got up and ran away from us. I 'm grateful to her ever since this day. We really hit it off as a match. Similar perceptiveness, euphony and games ... but ... well ... she 's an ex for a reasonableness right ?

She told me something, something that scared me a lot ... she said `` I love you ''. And I could n't ... say it back to her. And after 3 days ... we talked it out and broke up ... I just ... could n't ...

Ok, I just gave myself some face slaps and I 'm gear up to let the cat out of the bag about the succeeding soul ... the one I let loose all the time. Ian Anderson.

I 've known Ian ever since we were small. We always had fun together ... he is so civilised and well-chosen and there 's something about the way he winks that just says `` Do n't worry, I got it ''. He is my age and we are in the like family, we like the same stuff and he 's really weather ... intrepid guy I 've ever known. He is my one truthful hero, and I ca n't help but note that ... everytime he winks at me, reassuring me that everything is going to be ok ... my heart skips a beat. I get skittish, I get well-chosen and kinda disappointed that I get to feel this way and have no musical theme what to do with this feeling ...

Ian is my best acquaintance, always was. I feel ... weird when I 'm around him. I 'm always happy with him. I 'm laughing writing this because ... there was this prison term he got here, my parents were out and we played biz all day, danced around like a bunch of shaver, sang together and even had pizza for dinner. It was one of the happiest solar day of my life. So gelidity, so secure ... he always reassured me that he was having a lot of fun with me, and I could say the Sami to him. He was the reasonableness I even changed my dash !

I used to have a messy smuggled whisker, one day, he just went `` Hey, ever thought of like ... dyeing your hair ? blonde or something ''. I remember it vividly ... he ... ran his fingers on my hair on the sphere that should be blond and said `` Maybe frown it on the side of meat a bit ? ''. I laughed at that, it was so ... sweet. I would never bet as coolheaded as Ian though. His hair is spiky brownness, his eyes are the most beautiful tint of Green ... different tincture. Yeah, you heard me.. uhh .... read it. He has heterochromia and it 's the coolheaded thing ever !

Which brings me to the ... cause I 'm writing this down ... I 've been feeling unlike about him ... not the skipping a heartbeat ... more like ... I want to be so a great deal closer to him, not seeing him hurts ... and my ally seem to detect that I 'm anxious when he is not around. They poke fun, good natured of course of action, but I was thinking ... maybe ... I 'm not the lonesome one feeling like that ... what if I really am not ? What if he feels the same way ? Oh God what if he does n't ? Why am I so ... crazy about it ? Am I going weirdo ?

Is it ... just me ?

Maybe I 'll ask for him over tomorrow ... try to talk about it ... I 'll be home alone, great opportunity. What could go haywire ?