For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a comfortably adaptation of myself. A grinder to someone, but every time I see danger or worry, I end up ... freeze. I guess the hero life is just not for me ... I never introduced myself though did I diary ? You 're new, I 'm new to you and here I am already throwing poppycock at you like this, I 'm drab. My epithet is Leon, Leon Carter. I 'm 14 and I 'm a high fledgling. I love games, comics, dancing, cocoa and I 'm a BIG, BIG Superhero fan, namely ... Superman.

I know, I know ... one would say that a guy my age is should be more into Batman, or really should n't be into animated cartoon hero sandwich at all ... but I just hump it. The stories, the super family, and the new Superboy Jonathan ? So adorable ! Not many mass like it, and I get it, but I guess ... to each one their own I guess ...

But this entry tonight is not for me to babble about Superman, but about ... well ... who I am.

Sorry about how I unevenly write, I 'm just not used to it, but here we go !

I ... am adopted, I do n't think when or how I got here but the bomb calorimeter just dropped one day for me. My parents called me down and recite me one day. I 'd say I took it kinda well, I did n't cry or anything, do n't even think I felt anything actually ... I got benumbed and just ... kept on living. Maybe it 's due to the fact that my parents love me so much and that I do n't know anything other than them as my parents, but I did n't feel anything negative towards them ... anyway, I go to schooling, I have a best friend and scores of booster that take care of me because they say I 'm endearing. I guess that 's chill actually, that everyone likes me this much. I just do n't get what I have that 's so impressive.

One thing about me that I find ... well, Weird is ... well ... I do n't even do it why I 'm writing it as if I 'm talking but whatever ...

I do n't sense confortable in relationships.

I love how my friends like me and worry about me, I love my parents, but the mere idea of having person actually have intercourse me to the point of wanting to be WITH me gets me ... anxious. I 've had two girlfriends before, sooo let 's talk about that.

My outset lady friend 's gens was Eva. She was sweet, she was beautiful ... had these brownish-yellow centre and bootleg whisker ... She would always stand by around me, said she 's protect me and my grinning, and I said I 'd do the Same for her ... turns out ... former people feeling the same as you can get scores of trouble. The fact that my friend all like me just as often made her look ... unvalued ... and I ca n't blame her. We broke up in 3 months.

My irregular girlfriend was called Lola, and she was awe-inspiring. roughneck missy, prospicient bleak hair and blue eyes I 'd easily get lost in. She was really, really tough ... near to a tangible life heroine I could meet. One day, we were coming out of the moving-picture show when we were jumped by this guy with a knife ready to rob us. As I said, I froze, I could n't do anything ( And regret it to this day ) but her ? She flipped the guy over herself as if he was made of newspaper, dunno if it was shock or awe but he simply got up and ran away from us. I 'm grateful to her ever since this day. We really hit it off as a couple. Similar tastes, music and games ... but ... well ... she 's an ex for a reason right ?

She told me something, something that scared me a lot ... she said `` I love you ''. And I could n't ... say it back to her. And after 3 years ... we talked it out and broke up ... I just ... could n't ...

Ok, I just gave myself some face slaps and I 'm ready to mouth about the following person ... the one I let relax all the time. Ian Anderson.

I 've known Ian ever since we were small. We always had fun together ... he is so civilized and happy and there 's something about the way he winks that just says `` Do n't worry, I got it ''. He is my age and we are in the Saami classes, we like the Sami stuff and nonsense and he 's really brave ... bravest guy I 've ever known. He is my one true Cuban sandwich, and I ca n't help but notice that ... everytime he winks at me, reassuring me that everything is going to be ok ... my heart skips a beat. I get nervous, I get happy and kinda disappointed that I get to sense this way and have no melodic theme what to do with this feeling ...

Ian is my best admirer, always was. I feel ... weird when I 'm around him. I 'm always happy with him. I 'm laughing writing this because ... there was this time he got here, my parents were out and we played plot all day, danced around like a bunch of kids, American ginseng together and even had pizza for dinner. It was one of the happiest days of my life sentence. So gelidity, so good ... he always reassured me that he was having a lot of fun with me, and I could say the Saame to him. He was the reason I even changed my stylus !

I used to deliver a mussy black hair, one day, he just went `` Hey, ever thought of like ... dyeing your tomentum ? blond or something ''. I remember it vividly ... he ... ran his digit on my haircloth on the area that should be blond and said `` Maybe lower it on the side a bit ? ''. I laughed at that, it was so ... sweet. I would never await as cool as Ian though. His hairsbreadth is spiky brownness, his eyes are the most beautiful nuance of green ... unlike ghost. Yeah, you heard me.. uhh .... read it. He has heterochromia and it 's the cool thing ever !

Which brings me to the ... reason I 'm writing this down ... I 've been feeling different about him ... not the skipping a heartbeat ... more like ... I want to be so a lot closer to him, not seeing him hurts ... and my booster seem to notice that I 'm anxious when he is not around. They poke fun, salutary natured of course, but I was thinking ... maybe ... I 'm not the only when one impression like that ... what if I really am not ? What if he feels the Lapp way ? Oh God what if he does n't ? Why am I so ... crazy about it ? Am I going sick ?

Is it ... just me ?

Maybe I 'll invite him over tomorrow ... try to talk about it ... I 'll be home alone, dandy opportunity. What could go wrong ?