Ancient Rome, about 0 BC

"Oi Nozzer, what you at fellow ?"scar Anthony shouted above the clamour of a busybodied Rome morning.

"Off down the Colloseum whole step,"Nostradamous replied,"They got some new Gaulish Mead and a new passel of Angle slaves."

"speech sound good, I'll tell Julie,"Mark Susan B. Anthony replied.

"Call me Julie again and your head will join those of the Huns on the spikes above the city Bill Gates,"Julius Ceasar chipped in.

"All right retain your crown on,"Mark Anthony replied,"Do you reckon they got any virgins Nozzer ?"

"Six week in a boat with a bunch of randy oarsman, I don't think so,"Nozzer replied,"More like Oars, anyway the came from what the slant call"Es Sex"what ever that is."

"Right,"Mark Marcus Antonius agreed.

"Anyway I thought you had a regular bunk up with Cleo ?"Nozzer continued.

"Oh yeah, great, great compexion, nifty in the sack but she bathes in Equus asinus milk and malodor like a bloody donkey,"patsy Anthony replied.

"Can't have it all,"Nozzer laughed,"See you later right ?"

Nozzer called in on his checkmate Michael Angelo on his way to the Colloseum,"Mikey how you doing mate ?"he called.

highschool above the story of the Sistine chapel service Mikey was lying on a scaffold dining table having a kip and sleping off a leaden dark on the mead and ale.

"Diminu - bloody - endo,"Mikey replied,"keep the racket down. Me heads splitting mate."

"It's the rouge better half, you want to use lead not cow muck,"Nozzer suggested,"Anyway it was only supposed to take a week, two coat of briliant white-hot they said."

"Mate, they are paying by the day and they like my graffiti,"Mikey explained,"Money for old roach like."

"All right for some,"Nozzer replied,"You hear about Pisa Lighthouse ?"

"Every roll in the hay body heard about Pisa lighthouse, started keeling over so they put a twist in it,"Mikey sighed,"Just fuck off and do some Philosopherising or what ever it is you do."

"Charming,"Nozzer agreed,"roll in the hay you too."

The Colloseum was busy, every puss and his first mate was there eyeing up the new slaves.

Some was naked, the Angle and frog was so pale they needed browning up to be fanciable, but the Arabians had to be kept under cover or they blacked up, most was shackled together but some was in individual wooden cages.

"What's the percentage point of that ?"Nozzer asked some random bloke.

"From Greece, fucking Lesbos,"he said.

"From Lesbos or are they Lesbo's ?"Nozzer asked.

"Twat,"the bloke answered,"Anyway what can I do you for ?"

"Oh a courteous hiss, say twenty one, blonde, big melons,"Nozzer replied.

"How much you got ?"the bloke queried.

"Fifty, fifty five at a get-up-and-go,"Nozzer offered.

"Well you can own her,"he pointed to a beautiful angle angel,"From Wessex, beautiful girl, nooky like an holy man,"he taunted,"For one hr for fifty."

"I want's a mansion hard worker,"Nozzer explained.

"For fucking L, you wan na get real checkmate,"the bloke replied,"You can have her mum,"he said pointing to a wrinkled old hag.

"Nah, rather fuck a camel,"Nozzer admitted.

"shuffling up yer nous, tart or scrubber, cleaner."the feller sighed exasperated.

"Bit of both,"Nozzer replied.

"That's a bonk wife, don't go there mate they're trouble,"the bloke advised before he saw some other mug and fucked off to con him instead.

Nozzer wandered off,"Houseboy sir ?"some woman hollered, pointing at half a twelve defenseless blokes tied up in a pen.

Nozzer looked up,"Hung like domestic ass,"she said.

"Looks like you been taking advantage,"Nozzer quipped.

"Every half 60 minutes, come and see the show,"she offered.

"For fucks sake !"Nozzer sighed,"I ent fucking Hellene !"

"No ?"says the womanhood as she grabs the nearest slave's cock and starts wanking it,"You certain ?"

"Absolutely,"Nozzzer says.

"Then why you getting a heavily on ?"she asked,"You want me to she-bop your footling cock instead ?"she asked.

Nozzer looked down at his Toga, it was like a collapsible shelter pole was pushing it out,"Fuck !"he said out loud.

The woman suddenly left her slave and stuck her script up Nozzer's Toga. He wished he had put on fairly gasp but they was in the wash so he had come out without any.

"Ooooh you are a big boy,"she cooed,"Five Sirstes to make you cum or I'll rip it out by the roots for free."

Nozzer liked it rough in,"Rip it out by the roots,"he requested,"Please."

She dropped him like a dead reckoning,"shtup off degenerate !"she said abruptly.

"Me a fucking perv ?"he snapped,"Its you what fucks hard worker in public ten times a day !"

"Twenty on a skillful day,"she smiled.

Nozzer shook his head and went round to see the animals. Andreas the Lion Tamer was looking worried.

"Wazzup Andy,"Nozzer queried.

"Fucking Gaul bit Leo,"he said pointing to one of his Lion foot,"Gone septic, look."

Nozzer was stunned but not stuid enough to get in a Lions cage to look at an septic foot at Lion's lunch time, which was basically any clock time a Lion wasn't actually a kip.

"Looks bad,"Nozzer agreed.

"Poor bugger's off his feed look."Andy qipped pointing at an old Phoenician couple liberally coated with tomato sauce cowering naked at the back of the cage.

"You'll have to get a new one I reckon,"Nozzer said unhelpfully.

"Oh great help,"Andy replied.

"What odds on him winning Fri ?"Nozzer asked.

Andy had a think and then said"If its Christians again it's a dead cert but Gauls, I reckon old Leo will run a bloody leage."

Nozzer nodded and went to check out the Chariots for Saturdays backwash. His married person Benner was working on his two horse chariot carefully adjusting the trailing by walloping the wooden axle as hard as he could with a vast mallet.

"piece of tail sake Benner you'll bust it mate,"Nozzer cautioned

"I don't fucking precaution if I do,"Benner cursed,"Fucking understeers on the incoming to Lesmo 1 then oversteers on way out."

"Too much fucking information,"Nozzer suggested,"See yah."

Nozzer was bored, he worked Nox working out the futurity from the sensation, it wasn't a bad job, lie on the ceiling for a few minutes a brace of prison term a calendar month and dream up some loading of bolloks to narrate the twats down the US Senate. Writing it up was the regretful, three curlicue all the same for different departments. Anyroad it gravel Lion Taming and being a Gladiator.

He wandered up the Temple of Vesta to have a bit of banter with the"Vestal Virgins."

There was a bit of a kerfuffle. Some fowl was getting chucked out of a a side of meat door. Nozzer recognised her, she used to live near his gaff, her dad was summat in the Senate.

Nozzer wandered up to stick his beak in,"Analise ?"he queried.

"Fuck off pervert,"she replied sharply, before she recognised him."Oh sorry, you're Michel de Notredame ain't you ?"

"Yes, call me Nozzer,"he replied helpfully.

"Bloody bitches have chucked me out, me dad will have a fit,"she stormed.

"But why ?"Nozzer asked.

"Do I have to draw a painting ?"she snapped,"They want Virgins."

"Oh,"Nozzer said awkwardly.

"I was having a tricky wank and got carried away,"she said.

"You are Analise ?"he enquired.

"Yes, sorry, they call me Swan Vesta in the tabernacle, I thought you were after anal,"she replied.

"I shouldn't mind as it happens,"Nozzer replied.

"Well leave it,"she snapped,"Oh fuck now what do I do, Dad'll go mad."

"Lie low for a bit ?"Nozzer suggested,"You can kip round my gaff if you like."

"In your bed ?"she asked.

"If you like,"he smiled.

"And if I don't ?"she asked

"You can kip on the floor after I fucked you ?"he ventured.

"Oh well beggars can't be chooser,"she said happily as she gathered up her meagre property,"Lead on."

Nozzer was gob smacked, usually he paid a few Sirstes for a bunk up with a striver and got tod to fuck off by liberal women but suddenly here was a bird what was up for it. He should throw sensed a cakehole but his mentality was definitely switched off and his bollocks firmly in control.

"Failed monthly inspection, said me virginal membrane was bust,"Analise explained,"Anyway what were you doing here ?"

"Bored, I was looking for planetary house slave to keep the sign of the zodiac clean and jerk and that."he explained.

"And that ?"she asked.

"That,"he agreed.

"Sounds like you need a wife,"she suggested.

"right hand, so where do I find a married woman ?"he asked.

"Are you blind or just stupid ?"Analise asked.

"Oh, look I didn't mean value,"Nozzer said.

"Yes of row I will !"Analise gasped and kissed Nozzer on the cheek.

Nozzer was shocked,"Look"he said.

"Oh, lets get round your space and consumate it !"Analise taunted.

Nozzer warmed to the idea. Analise offered up a silent prayer, Nozzer wasn't the best catch but his bed beat sleeping on the cobblestones of the Autostrada.

In just a few minute they were in Nozzer's gaff. Analise gritted her teeth and slipped off her toga.

"Do you like what you see ?"she simpered.

"Uh ?"Hozzer replied but his peter spoke for him.

"Oh you are a big boy,"Analise exclaimed as she saw the movement of his toga salary increase propelled by his knob end, she had serious doubts that something that big would actually fit inside her.

She sat on the border of the mesa, spread her pegleg, closed her center and dreamed some beautiful gladiator was about to spear her.

"Oh Annie you're so beautiful,"he husked and kissed her forehead.

Her twat began to palpate moist. She kept her eyes tightly closed so she didn't have to front at Nozzer's ugly mug,"Do it !"she husked.

A searing annoyance wracked her mind as Nozzer brutally shoved his meat into her soft conceding pussy,"Awww, that fucking injury !"she railed.

"Tis done now my making love,"Nozzer explained,"No more pain just pleasure."

"In your know woolgather fellow you're tearing me in half !"she replied but the pain was subsiding.

Actually it was starting to feel quite nice, Annie warmed to the idea, she opened her center, to be true Nozzer didn't looking quite as ugly, she could get used to this she decided.

"Oh that feels so nice,"she cooed.

"Not bad is it ?"Nozzer agreed and he promptly shot his load.

Annalise wasn't expecting it, what with never having it before and that. All that love succus shot up inside her,"What the fuck's going on."she asked.

"Just frivol away me lode deary,"Nozzer explained,"Oh fuck I'm kn ackered."

"Is that it ?"Analise enquired.

"Till I'e had a kip and a feed,"Nozzer agreed,"Then biz on turn two."

"In your dreams,"she replied,"Anyway we have to tell dad we're engaged."

Too late Nozzer sensed the ambush,"Engaged ? I'm just letting you kip here ?"

"Oh you heartless fucking beast,"she wailed putting on a decent video display of Nile River Crocodile rip,"Professing that you love me only to cast me aside as soon as you've slimed me."

"Nice one,"I suppose following off you'll be telling Daddy I fucking forced you ?"

"Err,"Analise stalled realising she'd been rumbled.

"well rustle up a half enough dowry and I'll piece of ass marry you,"Nozzer offered.

"gumshoe head, that's why I was a VV, Dad's too skint to pay a comme il faut dowry,"Annie replied.

"Oh well let's see what he's offering,"Nozzer offered,"On the other hand lets not, I got another stiffy. On your spine wench, it's your golden day ! ”