I sat alone in the nook, now that the vampires are all dead they do n't want me anymore but they said they 'd still use me as a plaything now and then. I should introduce myself before I tell my story I suppose, I 'm Milo, a walking, talking wooden man. I know what you 're thinking, I ca n't be real but tell that to the 3 hag that created me. My Witches were 800 twelvemonth old, they 'd use the sexual Department of Energy from offspring men to keep back themselves young, the more they fucked, the yearner they 'd delay looking Thomas Young and moderately. They never harmed the men of course but when the vampire came to town the collection of a hot Witch wore off and when the men started to go missing it became harder still to seduce them.

***

'' Oooh, these are in there pretty proficient, did you finally get yourself a male ? '' Said Chloe as she pulled the fangs from my neck opening with her pliers.

'' I did Mistress, he got so mad when he tried to jinx me he bit me really voiceless. '' I replied with a smile.

'' fountainhead I 'm gallant of you my pet, did you keep a ampule to fix these gob ? ''

'' Yes schoolmistress. '' I replied, holding up the pocket-size ampoule of short vampire origin I 'd use to repair the fang damage.

I was originally created as a man sized sex doll. They gave me a decent big shaft and coated me in a especial varnish, glass eyes that looked pretty existent, wired limbs so I could be posed and was as real looking as a wood carving could look. When a young lamia came to chat, looking to feed off what he thought was just 3 sis living alone, he got the surprisal of his short vampire life history that it was in fact 3 beldame living there and I think his last words were 'oh fuck'right before he was brutally slaughtered, a long wooden fishgig jammed into his heart and his head lopped off with an antediluvian sword. rip sprayed everywhere of course, a large amount of it covering me from forefront to toe and it actually made my varnished peel look real.

'' Zoe, look, he looks alive ! I 've heard of lamia blood healing humans but I 've never seen it do this ! ``

'' Well how often do people birth pose-able wooden sex skirt just sitting around to spill it on. Oh ! Oh ! I have an idea. '' Said Zoe.

Zoe came back with one of her incantation account book and found the trance she was looking for.

'' Maya, get me some devil 's root, weavel blood and garlic. '' She said.

'' Oh, you 're a genius ! We can send him out, seduce them and stake them all ! We 'll get our young person back, the men will want us again. '' Said Chloe, looking down at the patch open in the book.

'' I 'll pee a new arm for him with a saltation loaded stake but with this coated on him they wo n't roll in the hay he 's not real until it 's too late. '' Said Maya.

They mixed the potion and poured it over me, read the incantation from the leger and I woke to my new lifetime. They taught me the art of vampire seduction, they would try and bite me at some tip and when their fang got stuck in me, my outpouring loaded stake would get along out and I 'd jam it in their cold dead hearts.

I still retrieve my first, she was old but had on a Thomas Young face. She was enamored with my good luck charm, fascinated by my unique smell and had to have me. She took me to her room, stripped naked, tried to hypnotize ( glamor ) me and when my glass eyes repelled it she just went straight for my throat, her fang getting stuck in my dense wooden neck.

'' Whr thr fggg '' She muttered.

I forgot to get my wager out and instead ripped her teeth out pushing her away from me, blood pouring from her mouth she scrambled back to the corner of her bed then just closed her center as I finally remembered and drove the stake into her. I managed to deplumate the teeth from my neck, covered myself in roue from the puddle of ooze that was left of her and left, setting off a ail Mary Jane bomb as I did. I got better as racked up Thomas More killing, my Wiccan taught me how to score men too but they were a bit more cautious and harder to draw.

A few month after I was created, I accidentally attracted a regular homo, she was pretty, very smart and very thin-skinned with long blond hair and a slap-up body.

'' I said, can I buy you a drink. '' She said as I sat alone.

'' I uh, no I 'm fine. '' I replied.

'' Nonsense, I see you in here all the fourth dimension, you always leave with one of the jolly daughter, am I not your type or something ? ''

'' You are a beautiful cleaning lady but you 're not for me. ``

'' Oh, now I 'm intrigued because I swear I seen you leave with a young woman who could have been my counterpart. '' She said as she sat down.

'' It 's a retentive story, I 'm here to meet someone. ``

'' Uh huh, and you 'll be back tomorrow to contact someone new. I do n't give care if you 're a man fancy woman, I just like sex and you 're bounteous. ``

'' Is this girl bothering you ? It 's Milo right, you 're wearing the total darkness rose I asked you to so I knew it 'd be you. '' Said the grandiloquent cleaning lady with black hair.

'' I was just leaving, take care. '' Said the blond and walked off.

'' I do n't like it here, I think it 's being frequented by hunting watch, can we maybe go straight to my station ? '' Said my 'date'.

'' I 'd know that. '' I replied.

'' With vampire going missing every hebdomad we have to be so cautious now, you said you want to be turned after you feed me ? ``

'' Yes, I want the power you hold in you. ''

'' Well good, you do smell wonderful. '' She said, smiling at me.

We got back to her place, she handed me a glass of wine and after excusing herself, came back wearing just a sheer silk robe, her defenseless body suave and flawless. She undid a few clit on my shirt, had me comic strip naked then kissed the side of my neck before she sunk her fang into me. She pulled herself away though, a feeling of horror on her human face as the blood from her sass ran down her organic structure, she yelled out something in a language that sounded like ancient German, spraying rip over my chest, I quickly sprung my wager and stabbed her. She did n't irrupt like the others though, the wager came out of her covered in a putting green guck. The kettle of fish it left was getting fatal though. I did n't know what to do, I ducked out of the way in time to avoid the axe that her comrade swung at me but suddenly the doorway salvo spread out and my would be aggressor was shot in the heart with a crossbow deadbolt and exploded blood line all over me. The crossbow gun was none other than the blonde from the bar, she closed and barred the threshold then put her crossbow down after reloading it.

'' Oooh, sound job, I 've been after this one for a while. '' She said, playing with the vampire 's hair.

'' Who are you ? ``

'' I have many names, you can call me Clara though. This, ca n't be killed with a wooden stakes, you need to stab her in the mettle with silver, which is just what I happen to sustain. Are you the one with the garlic turkey ? Those are genius by the way. Put your apparel on and get the bomb ready, we wo n't have a lot of metre after I kill this thing. ``

I quickly covered myself in the crossbowed vampire 's origin then once it had dried in I took a vial for the fang yap, put my collar up and opened the compartment in my stomach for the garlic bomb.

'' Oh they 're going to detest this, finding out days after their tabby is killed to line up her skull with no fang. '' Said Clara who then took a silver obelisk and stabbed the lamia in the heart.

The vampire queen shuddered in agony then just collapsed in a gooey muckle with only her skull left in the puddle. I took a large ampoule of the dark-green goop, set the garlic dud on it 's timekeeper then left with Clara. I dressed in the hall, the ail bomb going off with a muffled pop and noticed Clara grinning at me.

'' I have like, so many questions, lets get out of here though, they 'll have sensed their queen is dead and they 'll probably send out humans, I do n't obliterate human being. ``

We got to a bike that sat outside and sped off into the night, stopping at a pocket-sized motor home just outside of town. There were garlic lightbulb everywhere and little battery Mister spraying nub of garlic into the air too.

'' We 're fairly prophylactic in here, they 've never seen me so have never came looking. '' Said Clara.

'' I should get back, my Mistress will occupy. '' I replied.

'' Well when we tell her what you did she 'll be happy. Let me at least get those from you, may I have one since I helped you ? ``

'' Sure. ``

'' What are you ? '' She said, pulling the teeth out of my neck with her pliers.

I quickly explained how I came to be, what I was made for and what I 'd become.

'' That is fucking hotshot, I love it ! So these Witches, they do n't take away anything from their men, just gain ground energy from the sex endorphins ? ``

'' Right but since the lamia arrived they 've been forgotten. ``

'' Oh, this is so exciting. I have an idea, I 'll ask to lay low for a spell but I 'll detect you. adopt care my wooden man. ``

I made my way house, my witch were all frenzied thinking I 'd been killed but they were glad to see me.

'' Is this what I think it is ? '' Said Zoe, looking at the queen mole rat 's fang I gave her.

'' It is, I gave the early one to the woman that helped me. '' I replied.

'' What woman, did you tell her what you are ? '' Said Chloe.

'' I did but she only hunts vampires, I told her you never take anything from the men and hatred lamia too. I think she 's a slayer. ``

'' Oooh, we used to train those back in the day but we have n't needed to for 200 class If I was n't so wear and old I 'd start out again. '' Said Mara.

'' I have something else for you Mistress. '' I said with a smile.

I took off my shirt, took the vial of king goop out and held it out to them.

'' Is that what I think it is ? '' Said Chloe.

'' I was capable to replenish with the lamia 's line that Clara had killed, this is the stuff that 's left over from the faggot. '' I replied.

'' She had a silver sticker ? I 'm meritless, it 's been so recollective and I did n't think you 'd find a queen. '' Said Chloe.

She took the ampoule from me and gave me a hug.

'' babe, do you roll in the hay what this can leave us ? A drop of this mix with our application will give use our youthful appearance, we can get down seducing men again ! '' Said Chloe.

'' It takes workweek to get down working but we have enough to end a long time, good piece of work Milo ! ``

The beldam all jumped when the doorbell rang.

'' Who can that be, did n't you have a repellent go up ? '' Said Mara.

'' I do. post Milo in case it 's a lamia. '' Said Zoe.

I came back to the lounge with Clara beside me.

'' I 'm really distressing to intrude but I come with great respect and a way that we can help each other. '' Said Clara.

'' How did you get through our spell ? '' Said Zoe.

'' I was trained by Master Zortan, he gave me this to help in the conflict. '' Said Clara, showing them a small tattoo on her wrist.

'' He 's still alive ? '' Said Mara.

'' No, the lamia could n't get to him so they sent humans and they ambushed him, I could n't save him. Before though, he told me of fabled hag, when milo maize here told me how you get your vigor I knew it was you. I used to give him the Same energy, he 'd make me cum so laborious and kept the body of a 30 year old from my climaxes. I humbly have a marriage proposal for you. I can fetch you a few men who would happily have it away all 3 of you then when they 're done I 'll set up a steady supply of hot young he-man to hail and sleep together you. In return I 'd care to proceed milo maize to hunt with me, he 's managed to obliterate off all but 5 from a pretty nasty nestle and now that the queen is gone they 'll get severe. When we 're done here I 'm needed in Arizona, I 've been tracking a poof there and with my walking stake here they wo n't know what hit them. ``

'' Your plan has but one flaw my pricey, we all look like we 're 80, we still work down there but who would fuck us ? '' Said Chloe.

'' Let me interest about that, I promise I can deliver. As for the supplying of men when you 're unseasoned, there 's this app and it makes it so well-to-do. I 'll set up your visibility and if you 're as beautiful as I believe you are from Master Zortan 's account then they 'll be lining up to get you. '' Said Clara.

'' Well, if you can deliver that, Milo is all yours. '' Said Zoe, shaking Clara 's hand.

'' I 'll be back in an time of day. '' Said Clara.

True to her word of honor, Clara arrived an hour later with 3 men, they were all in their 40 's but they were blind.

'' And you said they know we 're blind and do n't care ? '' Said one.

'' Yes, Stephen, they 're a little shy and self conscious but they 're just interested in your dicks. '' Replied Clara as she led them in.

'' These are my friends, they were in an chance event and lost their pot but from walking in on each of them jerking off at some point in the inn I can tell apart you they all have functioning cocks. '' Said Clara.

'' Well, lets get you 3 well-off and out of them clothes. '' Said Zoe.

I did n't determine the Witches taking their men but when they brought them back to the lounge they looked like fair sex in their 30 's. All 3 men were grinning ear to ear.

'' Oh, that was easily the best sex I 've had in years m'lady, thank you so often. '' Said Steve. The other men agreed.

'' well, let me get these 3 back and I 'll be back to set up your profiles. '' Said Clara with a smile.

'' Oh, Clara. leave them this in their tea tonight, when they wake they 'll make their visual modality again, do n't tell them, let it be a surprise for what they 've given us. '' Said Mara quietly, handing a small sac to her.

'' Thank you so a lot ! '' Replied Clara, hugging her.

'' For what ? '' Said Steve.

'' Never you mind, lets go you old horndog. '' Said Clara.

Clara came back a little later and set up the promised profiles with pictures, a fake bio and showed them how to use it. They were getting subject matter before we even left.

'' Clara, you 've given us our lives back, are you certain Milo is all you want in return ? '' Said Chloe.

'' My parents were killed by vampire when I was 12, Master Zortan gave me a path and my life exists to pass over them from this globe. Milo will be a better weapon than my crossbow and sticker and will be more than thank you and I 'll be honored to use a creative activity from you. '' She replied.

'' Well you honor us Clara, thank you again. ``

It took a few weeks to cover them down, we had the close one of the remaining vampires cornered in a run down storage warehouse in an abandoned industrial share of the city.

'' This does n't finger mightily Milo, split up, retain your radio on. '' Said Clara as we made our way inside.

Ten bit later I heard an electronic squelch from the tuner, a noise they usually made when they were smashed. I followed the voices I heard to find Clara suspension by her leg on the end of a R-2. The vampire we were after was toying with her, spinning her around.

'' The keen killer, the pansy killer, caught by a lowly initiate. I 've only been a vampire for twenty years but taking in your chief will take a leak me a master and I 'll be given a nest of my own. I 'm going to fertilise from you for days of course. '' It said.

'' Not with this in you. '' I said, driving the stake through his back into his heart.

I looked down at the metallic button after I cut Clara down.

'' Oh fuck, all in man 's substitution, he has the place rigged to blow ! ``

Clara winced in botheration as she picked me up, I was n't very heavy so she was able-bodied to throw me through the window with simplicity. No sooner had I gone through, smashing the glass as I flew through the air, when the building exploded, throwing me further and into the river. Being made of Wood I floated just fine, I got home a few time of day later, Chloe answered the door, the sounds of sex coming from the waiting room telling me they had been making swell use of their app already.

'' fountainhead you do n't bear any damage, sorry about Clara, she was wonderful. We 'll obtain another use for you, go sit in the niche for now, I have twins coming over. '' She said when I told her what happened.

A few days later the women all sat eating breakfast at the mesa, all three were naked, enjoying their new youthful bodies from all the sex they 'd been getting.

'' Oh, do you feel that ? '' Said Chloe as she got to her feet.

'' Has been so long but yes I do. '' Said Zoe.

rightfield as Mara stood up a bright flash lit up the room and a raw Clara appeared on the board, a man was between her legs and they were clearly fucking.

'' You are cleaning up this mess Zoltar and you right not get cum on my tiles. '' Said Chloe, wiping spilled coffee from her breasts.

'' Oh you know I always hated you calling me that, it 's Zortan, not the arcade machine from that Big movie. '' He said, pulling out of Clara and gently climbing off the table.

Clara gingerly got to her feet.

'' original Zortan had banished himself with a portal when they tried to get him the same way, with my energy he was able-bodied to come back. Milo ! You are dependable ! '' Said Clara, kissing me on the forehead.

'' How long has it been my friend, 300, 400 years ? '' He said, hugging Zoe.

'' 500, we thought you 'd died days ago. '' She replied.

'' I kept a low visibility for a while, these vamps were tough business. This one is one of the estimable I 've trained though, well than Van Helsing in many shipway. '' Said Zortan.

'' Well, I 'm not allowed to be here with all 3 of you so I will involve my leave, may she deal Milo ? I 'm going back into transportation in Alaska, those stoner chicks up there fuck this old whizz, get all the pussy I need. '' He said.

'' He belongs to her, she gave us our sprightliness back. ``

Arizona took us a year to cleanse, we got them all though and are headed to Texas to unite a squad hunting a large nestle there. I might be made of woodwind instrument but I think I love my slayer, I 'm sure when she rides my wooden cock she feels that too. I just involve to find out the flop sandpaper this time, she 's still mad about the lowest splinter I gave her ...