`` What floor ? '' I asked as I looked down from the scaffolding senior high school above Magdelene Street while
answering my cell phone.

'' The sofa level, '' a woman with a plummy accent insisted, `` It 's staining the ceiling downstairs it really is not good enough ! ``

'' And where is this ? '' I asked, she told me, it did n't register.

'' London ! '' she said.

'' That was calendar week ago ! '' I explained.

'' well it 's not undecomposed enough, either you rectify it at no price or I shall sue. ``

'' OK, text me the name and address, '' I agreed, `` I 'll see what I can do. ``

'' I want rather Thomas More than a dim hope, '' she said, `` You finish at five, I shall have a bun in the oven you at seven this evening, that should founder you time for shower and a cheese burger. ``

'' That 's rush hour ! '' I protested.

'' Leaving Greater London darling, not coming in, seven o'clock or I sue. ``

I did n't have much option really, so I thew my cock in the old passage at knocking off time and headed round of drinks Dendranthema grandifloruom for a sting to eat and a shower before hitting the M40 East bound.

The traffic was n't bad, not my way, westbound was like a car park but I went well until past the M25 where it got a bit sticky.

I got round her place around ten to seven, an old fashioned townsfolk house with a few step up to the front doorway and a few down to the basement, probably 1880 ish, bath Lucy Stone faced to first floor floor then render, a red brick structure basically thrown up on the cheap.

'' You 're other, '' she said censoriously as she opened the straw man door.

'' We aim to please, '' I quipped.

'' well improve your aim, '' she said as she stepped back to provide me into the hallway. She looked late thirties acted like 90, snotty bitch.

The kitchen door opened, `` Mistress, '' a female child 's voice trilled.

'' Not now kitten, '' the woman insisted.

'' But Mistress, I have to be, oops ! '' she said.

I stared, she was wearing a maiden kit about four sizes too small-scale, her breasts swelled over the top and it barely reached below her navel which must take been chilly as she was n't wearing any knickers.

'' Sorry schoolmarm. '' she said.

'' Well close the door, and put your eyeball back in, they 're on stem ! '' the 'Mistress .'insisted, `` You simply ca n't get the faculty. ``

'' But ! '' I said stupidly.

'' Oh wake up and smell out the chocolate, '' she insisted, `` Really the minor mindedness of the typical Brits doer never fails to astonish me. ``

'' None of my business gentlewoman. '' I agreed, `` Or is that Mistress. ``

'' Do n't push it. '' she said as she locked the international doorway behind me, `` But we are not here to discuss my sexual preferences, nor yours for that thing. ``

She led me through to the lounge, strangely the floor was as I left it, sealed tongue and rut foray pine, it looked fine.

'' What 's the problem ? '' I asked as I noticed a stiff odor of disinfectant.

'' It leaks, '' she said, `` It is staining the basement ceiling. ``

'' What leaks ? '' I asked.

'' The floor, '' she said, `` Leaks, you were instructed to seal it. ``

'' Not against water leaks, '' I explained, `` But the occasional spillage should be finely. ``

'' That is not what we agreed, '' she insisted.

'' I suppose I could hold it another coating, '' I offered, `` Why does it smell out of disinfectant ? ``

'' You had bettor see the basement, '' she said, and she swept past me and led me down the stairs from the spacious innovative kitchen to the old cramped kitchen below and through to the computer memory room formerly servants Charles Martin Hall beneath the lounge.

The ceiling was stained brown.

'' Crikey, that 's not water, '' I said, and I rubbed my finger against the low roof and tasted it, `` That 's, yuck, where does the plumbing go. ``

'' Can you seal it ? '' she asked.

'' No, this is the foul drainage, cipher to do with me, '' I said.

'' You said Navy SEAL, fare upstairs again Mr Allington, '' she said, `` Let me demonstrate. ``

She went back to the lounge, `` Pippa ! '' she said, `` Show our invitee the trouble. ``

'' schoolmistress ? '' she queried, `` But he 's a man schoolma'am ? ``

'' Very nearly Pippa, '' she said, `` But show him how you show contrition. ``

'' I ca n't madam. '' she said firmly.

'' I 'll get the cat in a minute, '' the 'Mistress ,'threatened.

My mind boggled, she had done her best but her mamilla still bulged from her top and at least the ass couple of inch of her pussy were clearly displayed below the hem of her skirt.

'' No please fancy woman, '' she pleaded.

'' So do it you stupid nipper, '' she insisted.

I had no musical theme what was about to pass when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on the shine floor.

'' Bleedin'hell ! '' I swore, `` No damned wonder it making water and mephitis, have n't you ever find out of lavatories, Thomas Crapper, Armitage merchandise and all that ? ''

'' And in your small minded Earth have you no knowledge of water system sports ? '' she asked.

'' Certainly have, '' I said, `` Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, body of water skiing, but not pissing on the living room floor. ``

'' And it had no effect on you at all ? '' she asked.

'' No, '' I lied for my old man had come to life-time quite painfully if I was honest, stuck down my trouser leg when he needed some space,

'' come Mr Allingon, '' she said, `` You have an erection which would n't disgrace a full grown rabbit. ``

'' Hey ? '' I queried, `` What do you entail Rabbit ? ``

'' Precisely, '' she explained, `` I am afraid I much prefer a gracious set forearm to the transitory harshness of the male member, have I shocked you Mr Allington ? ``

She certainly had, `` No, '' I lied, `` Well pissing on the floor is a bit of a gob smack if I 'm honest. ``

'' She 's very, dearest to me, so I keep her on a unretentive rein, '' the 'Mistress'explained, `` She has a delightfully tiny fist. ``

Pippa was smiling coyly at me, `` But she does like cock, '' the kept woman said sadly.

'' What exactly as this to do with sealing floors ? '' I asked.

'' Your erection Loretta Young man, '' she explained, `` I fear you have designs on my fellow. ``

'' Of course I got a hard on ! '' I said, `` Who would n't ? ``

'' XC seven percent of the adult population, '' she replied, `` Watersports is a minority fetish Mr Allington. ``

'' Right, '' I agreed, `` Well given the option I would prefer the old Thomas Crapper urinal to the animation elbow room floor any day. ``

'' But, given the choice of her mouth, my mouth, in my pilus, in her hair, Mr Allington ? '' she asked.

'' I, I never gave it a mentation, '' I admitted.

'' The freedom to go when the humour takes you, '' she queried.

'' They used to preserve chamber pots under the bed when my grand dad was a boy, '' I agreed.

'' Not quite my point Mr Allington, '' she conceded, `` But you did n't answer, does n't the thought of your urine arcing through the air to dowse my attire, my bra, my tit, does that not excite you ? ``

'' I, '' I said.

'' Your brim are silent yet your dick speaks loudness, '' she said delightedly.

'' You do n't like turncock, '' I reminded her.

'' No, but Pippa does, '' she admitted, `` poor girl she is so delicious yet I can not quite reciprocate, I am not heartless Mr Allington, but neither am I stunned, which is why I keep Pippa on a unforesightful leash, from her revealing vesture to. ``

'' She 's a captive ? '' I asked.

'' To all purport and intent, '' she conceded, `` I treat her like a dog. ``

'' Excuse me ? '' I said.

'' I take her for walkway in the park, '' she said, `` Have I shocked you, after dark you understand, with the the skinny soap. ``

'' Right ? '' I said.

'' She is not allowed to use the washstand, ever, she just mops up afterwards, '' she explained, `` Like a dog, a bitch. ``

'' And that turns you on ? '' I asked incredulously.

'' Absolutely, and I see I am not alone ! '' she laughed.

I had my hand down my jeans, my cock was twisted up with my underpants and it was agony.

'' Mr Allington ! '' she said, `` please ! ``

'' Look, it 's not what it looks like, '' I said.

'' Masturbating, '' she said, `` Is a rather laissez-faire activeness not readily misidentify for any other. ''

'' I 'm just uncomfortable that 's all, '' I protested.

'' Which is clearly why you are masturbating, '' she declared.

'' Look, '' I said, `` You need coats and coats of seal, yacht varnish or something seriously rainproof, '' I explained, `` Not just sealing, you should suffer explained what you had in thinker when you had the place done, I just subbed on the base. ``

'' Subbed ? '' she said, `` You are hardly a sub Mr Allington. ``

'' Sub declaration, strictly Harrisons are liable, '' I explained.

'' No, I paid you directly Mr Allington, '' she explained.

'' That was just a trifle, '' I explained.

'' Which never the less makes you liable. '' she pointed out.

'' So. I 'll do the sealing again, '' I said.

'' Which you admit will not bring around the problem ? '' she said.

'' No it needs proper sealing, '' I told her.

'' How much ? '' she asked.

'' Maybe ten pelage, '' I said, `` twenty four hours to dry between, its ridiculous ! ``

'' I 'll pay for materials, '' she said.

'' Great, '' I said, `` There 's travel and. ''

'' I 'll pay for petrol, '' she said.

'' No way, '' I insisted.

'' Think about pissing in Pippa 's rima oris, '' she said, `` Or mine. ``

'' What ? '' I demanded.

'' I think you understand exactly what I am offering. ``

I stared, you know, a stuck up, upper middle class bitch, who would n't require to piss in her boldness ? but Pippa, well, to be honest I just wanted to ram my straining cock deep in her sweetly pink pussy.

'' I do n't know, '' I said, `` It will be a lot of study. ``

'' And a lot of fun, '' she added, `` And Pippa has n't had any stopcock for ages have you sweetie ? ``

'' No Mistress, '' Pippa agreed.

'' And you do like dick do n't you ? '' the 'Mistress'asked.

'' I like you fingerbreadth and my toys Mistress, '' Pippa replied.

'' But she prefers cock, '' the 'Mistress'confirmed, `` I too have a balmy spot for it but as I mentioned a rigid forearm beats a flexible cock on every single level.

'' If we do this, like we need the whole room bare, no furniture, it will be about a week after the final stage coating before you can run a risk using it again, twelve hours before you dare even walk on it. ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` I see. ``

'' But why do n't you have a wet room in the basement, tile the flooring like a shower bath, tile the walls a bit too, not Patrick Victor Martindale White but maybe ticket grey or something, then you can take on there, '' I suggested.

'' Yes, why not indeed, as a temporary measure and for those tremendous wet night, '' she enthused, `` How much ? ``

I did a bit of mental, `` Well to make a job we really call for to take out the existing, stick in a membrane. ``

'' How a great deal ? '' she demanded. I gave her a lump park, `` Really ? and how long ? ``

'' Two Clarence Shepard Day Jr., then you 'll need a plumber to do the rain shower heads or sprinklers, '' I suggested.

'' When can you start. '' she asked.

'' Monday hebdomad if I can get the roofing tile, if you 're not fussed colour wise it should be easy enough. ''

'' Excellent, '' she agreed, `` email me the final quotation and I am for sure we have a deal. Can I get you a glassful of something before you go ? '' she asked.

I looked longingly at Pippa as she gently fingered her exposed bitch while she looked longingly at the bulge in my denim.

'' No, thanks, breathaliser and all that, '' I said apologetically.

'' goodness, then I 'll see you out, thank you. '' she said.

'' commodity, yes, '' I said as I stood up, `` Goodbye Pippa, nice to see you, '' I said and she blushed crimson, it was n't what I meant so I expect I blushed as well.

I went through the hallway and the 'Mistress'showed me out through the forepart threshold, `` The shopkeeper 's entering is down the pace to the rightfield, '' she explained, `` Goodbye Mr Allington. '' the 'Mistress'said as I went outside.

'' serious nighttime, '' I said, I nearly said 'Mistress ,'but I did n't and I went back to the Transit with a big smile on my look, I just turned a complaint into two days paid work.

Now that 's a answer,

Oh you wanted to listen about the other stuff, now hang on, I 'm a constructor not a damn degenerate !

To be continued