My name is Katherine. about of you would name me a specter, or perhaps an angel. I am you see, what most somebody call `` dead ''. In fact, today is my funeral. I had n't really planned on dying. I 'm only 21 twelvemonth old. I had just returned from the springiness formal dance. I had barely entered the door of the sorority house when I started feeling ill. My head started throbbing. The room started to swirl as I collapsed and everything went black.

I woke up lying on my back. I was on a mesa in a brightly lit room. respective men and womanhood in hospital uniforms were putting away equipment and collecting expend provision. In spite of the bright Christ Within, the way seemed to be filled with an ethereal mist. The mass all seemed to be moving in a slow up, remains, almost surrealistic fashion. They all seemed to be ignoring me.

I sat up, climbed off the mesa, and followed one of the doctors ( I assumed they were doctors ) out of the room through a set of double doorway. I do n't really know why I did this. It just seemed the thing to do. Somehow I felt that there was an answer waiting for me if I followed.

The doctor lead down a corridor, then through another room access into a small waiting room. My mother and Padre were the merely ones in the room.

I rushed ahead of the physician, `` Mom ! Dad ! `` I rushed ahead to greet them, overjoyed to see familiar faces. `` What are you doing here ? What 's happened ? Where are we ? ``

They looked right through me as if I was n't even there. Instead, they turned to the Doctor of the Church. The flavour on their faces was one of anxiety and fear.

Without waiting for the question that was written on their faces, the Dr. spoke.

'' Mr. and Mrs. Johnson ? Please sit down. Your daughter suffered a major cerebral aneurisim. In secular 's footing, a rickety incision in one of the John R. Major arteries in her mind swelled and burst. There was cipher we could do. Your daughter is dead. ``

At those wrangle my mother went whitened, then collapsed, sobbing, on my Father, who simply stared blankly, disbelievingly, into space.

My first thoughts were `` What variety of bad jape is this ? '' `` Why are you telling my parents I 'm dead when I am obviously standing right in forepart of them plain as the nose on your face ? ``

After a few minutes, my mother composed herself enough to speak. `` I want to see her. I want to see my sister ''

'' Certainly '' said the medico `` If you feel you are up to it, I will take you to her. ``

My parents rose slowly and with a stiff, robot like walk followed the Doctor back through the double doors and down the hall from which I had just minute before emerged. They turned into a elbow room marked `` Emergency ICU - A ''

I recognized the room as the one from which I had emerged into the hall when I had first followed the doc. The room was vacant of medical staff now. The equipment had all been removed or neatly stored against the walls.

In the center of the room, under a shiny overhead light, was a table on which lay a female form, covered with a lose weight E. B. White sheet. I began to have a very spue feeling in the pit of my stomach. For the first time the thought entered my mind that maybe this was no joke.

But it had to be. How could I be lying there covered with a sheet and standing here watching at the Saame prison term ? It must be a mistake. They will displume down the piece of paper and it will be mortal else. It had to be someone else !

My parents followed the doctor, hesitatingly, to the mesa. Gently, the doctor folded down the sheet.

There I was. I was standing here, but I was also lying on the mesa. The me on the table was still dressed in the pinko satin frock I had worn to the dance. I looked to be asleep. My mind raced, grasping for any fragment of hope. I had read about out-of-body experiences. How mortal near dying felt themselves leave their own torso. Usually there was a voice telling them to go back because they had more to do with their spirit. I was only twenty-one. I certainly had more to do. I had almost a whole life ahead. I was just getting started. I do n't get wind any vocalization. But that does n't matter. I just lie back down on the mesa, unify back into my body and wake up. The MD will be dumbfounded. Mom and dad will be overjoyed. I 'll spend a few days in the hospital and go on with my life.

I did n't really think about how one climbs back into unity own eubstance. I just went over to the mesa and lay down. I closed my eyes and placed my implements of war in the same post as the self on the table. I opened my heart expecting to see the storm expressions. But dad just continued to stare disbelievingly. Mom was stroking my hair and sobbing, just as before.

Finally they turned away and the Dr. covered my cheek with the sheet.

'' No '' I screamed, `` I 'm not dead '' I flailed by arms, kicked my legs and screamed again. But all my try went unheeded. What ever I was now, I was unseeable and inaudible to the world I knew. I really was dead.

By the time of my wake I had still not fully accepted the idea of being dead. The funeral home sent a car for mom and dad. I really did n't like the thought of being on video display, but I was curious to see what they had done with me.

A crowd had already gathered when we arrived. I followed my parents into the home, passing through the crowd unnoticed. The room where I lay was filled with flowers. My casket lay on a low table. It was glowing shining White with atomic number 79 handgrip and passementerie. The lid was open.

I hesitated once again. I knew that what I would see would only add to the weight of a realism I did not yet want to accept. I also knew I had to count. Slowly, I stepped up to the casket.

I gazed at the dream-like scene before me. The other me, the me that lay in the jewel casket, was dressed as for her marriage. Mom had promised me her espousal gown for my wedding. Instead, she had given it to me for my burial. A white embryonic membrane covered my facial expression like a fine mist. A large bouquet of genus Calla lilies lay in my arms.

As I stared at the jewel casket, I began to focus on the peaceful face, my face, beneath the veil. My field of vision seemed to narrow, as if, without taking a dance step, I was moving closer and closer to the brass within the casket. Suddenly, I was no longer standing before the casket, but lying inside ; looking up through the hazy veil that covered my face. I felt the cool satin of my wedding clothes turned burial surgical gown. I smelled the fragrance of the lilies.

I sensed the sides of my casket close all around. I remembered seeing a horror film once about a char being locked into a coffin by some madman. The image was of a casket as a prison, locking her inside. But now that did n't seem right at all. I felt as if I was in a safe, lovesome bed ; not a prison, but instead a perfective tense shelter from the world.

I became aware of hoi polloi passing by. Some paused but a moment then went on. Others stood or kneeled before the casket, seemingly lost in their mentation. I could hear whispered prayer. While I could not interpret the words somehow I knew the tidings were unimportant. The love they represented seemed to choose form as a shimmering brightness that grew in intensity with each offered prayer. I felt wave upon waving of the nerveless silver luminosity surrounding me, flowing over me, filling me. I felt as if I was losing myself, willingly, in the overpowering glowing. I felt both a growing elation and a sense of total pacification greater than anything I had known. I felt myself floating, flying, lifted ever higher, deeper into the light.

Then all went black. I felt as if a mountain had crushed down on my somebody. I opened my eyes and the light was gone. I was standing in the visitation room of the funeral house. All my champion and family were gone. The funeral music director was fastening the latches on my now closed casket.

This cockcrow I rode in the hearse as they carried me to church. I watched as they placed my jewel casket on the bier at the front and placed the flowers all around. All the guests have arrived. The church is packed. I never realized how many people cared about me.

The divine service is just beginning but already I see a pecker of the ethereal light surrounding my casket. It is already stronger and brighter than at my wake. I suppose that is because everyone is praying together. I know that all I have to do is step into the brightness and surrender to it and I will be swept away to somewhere fantastic beyond imagining.

I know what will happen here. In a short while the avail will be over. They will carry me, that former me in the coffin, back to the hearse. They will drive me to the necropolis, say a few appropriate dustup, and then they will depress me into the grave that even now is undefended and waiting.

If I stay I fear the pitch blackness will amount crashing down as they shovel the earth over me. I feel the light reaching out. I sense its peace. Its time for me to go .