Chapter One

The day started as it usually did. Groggily, Jess leaned over to hit the snooze clit on my warning signal clock. He was so tired because he had been doing thirty hours a calendar week at work lately and he was n't sleeping well because of his home life. Add in schooltime and the homework that came along with it and it was midnight or later by the metre he got to bed."Who invented these things anyway ? ”, he thought as he climbed out of bed.

Showered and dressed, he went downstairs to get some breakfast."Hi Jess ”, his sidekick and sis said to him, almost in unison."Hi ”, he replied back. After eating breakfast, he went back on a higher floor to brush his dentition. Then he came downstairs again and went to see his mother. Jess always went to his female parent 's elbow room and said"serious dawn"to her before leaving for schoolhouse. Why he still did, he was n't sure. He had become so distant, there was no real connector left."Probably just out of habit ”, he told himself. He kissed his female parent goodbye and then left with his blood brother for school.

In the car, he and his Brother did n't peach much. It was n't that they did n't like each other, but Jess and Saint Luke had very little in common these daylight. They had different supporter, St. Luke being more of a mixer butterfly stroke ; unlike predilection in music, Jess listened to more big metal and rock, while Luke was more into the pop euphony scene ; etc ... Once they got to shoal, that was it. The car ride there was the most time they spent with each other in a day and whichever one was n't driving that day just stared at their phone the stallion ride.

Everyday he dreaded going to school day. mellow School had never been"as advertised"to Jess. He was a loner, an outcast. He had not even a smattering of friends, everyone knew everyone, but that was about it. Recently he had been feeling more and more deject, his view sometimes turning to suicide. abode living was ... well it was n't a abode anymore ...

"Good morning Mr. Knight ”, said his homeroom teacher, Mr. Toer."Morning ”, Jess replied back. He took his seat and started on the preparation he did n't fetch up last-place night. mathematics was a particularly heavily subject for Jess. He was just one bad range away from failing the guinea pig for the semester, but at this full stop that was the final matter on his idea. Staring at the lacuna plane of paper in front of him, his mind started to betray."What am I even doing here ? I have no purpose, no desire, no happiness. If I decided to just run away today, will anyone precaution ? testament my parents notice if I 'm not there ?"The chime for the end of homeroom rang, jolting him back into awareness."Damn it ”, he thought, realizing he had n't done a one problem.

When the Melville Bell rang at 3:05, he was already driving away from schoolhouse ( his sidekick was in ROTC and stayed for after-school bodily function ), his foot to the floor and the radio blaring. Music had become Jess'only reprieve from his life and he was retreating into it more and more, barely paying attention to anything else. euphony made him feel powerful, made him palpate like he had a cause to inhabit. It seemed that the lyrics of the song on the receiving set spoke directly to him, lifting him up, making him find happy that somebody, somewhere understood what he felt.

When he got home, Jess went straight to his room. As he was changing into his work uniform, he took a feeling at himself in the mirror. He was 16, had long, non-white Brown University tomentum, electric puritanic eyes, was about six ft grandiloquent, and had slim body. The somebody staring back at him looked so far away, it looked like him, but it was n't him. The eyes of the somebody in the mirror looked so desolate and discharge it was shocking. Sighing to himself, he turned off the light and headed to work.

At body of work that Night, he just floated aimlessly through the evening, barely engaging the customer, just wanting the dark to end so that he could go home and sleep. sleep, the one matter and one time of the day when he did n't feel holler, lifeless. When did n't find anything but serenity. The next day was Saturday and he did n't get to go to work on or schooltime so he could sleep all through the Night and well into the morning.

Opening the room access to his theater after oeuvre, Jess got a halfhearted"Hi"from his parents. The form of"hi"that you say out of niceness, not because you actually meant it. He replied back, asked if anyone had made dinner that night, and then went to his room. Turning on his computer, he checked his e-mail. As usual, it was just a crowd of Spam, but then Jess saw the electronic mail. Charles Wesley had responded to him ! Jess read the electronic mail, then shut off his computer and got into bed. Falling asleep, he smiled to himself, feeling some small good sense of hope.


unfavorable judgment welcome. Like I said, let me get it on if I should keep on .