I arrived at Allerton residence unannounced, dressed in the Greco-Roman style of a set ashore valet while riding in a tolerably smart carriage pulled by a matched pair of Greys, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devonshire who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in excitement crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His Grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then manoeuver me pray, '' I requested, in as haughty style as I could muster.

'' In the town sir, Allerton, in the square sir, at the whipstitching sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rights he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the Lady Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the party whip and forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to retain possession of my ridiculously tall hat..

'' I could get a taste for this whoremaster ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that import we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` better than mining, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as moneymaking, '' I laughed, `` And not as safe with your drive, you better let me take ! ``

We changed post and also changed coats and hats and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a good lick and swung into the second power, thank god Barrington was alert because a boil mass of human race confronted us and if he had not thrust the pitprop through a wheel there should have been carnage for we should never give birth stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a dangling in Bodmin in August, for a large wooden stage had been set up against the Red Lion alehouse across from St Agnes church service the whole securities industry foursquare was packed with all course of instruction and upon that degree a serving wench was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her gown or displacement ripped from her and dangling from the bowed stringed instrument around her waist and her cloak leather clad tormentor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to head off his blows by turning away he struck her shapely unwrap bosom and the teats thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hands were manacled and uselessly chained together and the concatenation tied to a high school beam high above her head which served to hold her so she could do nothing but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist joint branding iron from which a lead of rakehell seeped already.

The crowd were transfixed and so fixed in their aid that they paid us no heed but I supposed that a public whipping was the height of their time of year, and all course of instruction were present, merchandiser and peasant, workers and nobility indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating room set up for the purpose, the Lord Graham, his son, by his side and the lady Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the Lady Catherine II.

'' We 'll tether the horses and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the carriage through a T round and tethered the team outside the flying dragon Inn.

The maid was nothing but a limp and bloodied spate when I returned, and his adoration Mr Justin Grant the Judge of the Trentham assize was mounting the stone's throw to the point, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled throng, `` His seemliness Earl Leslie Howard Stainer told me to utilise the law in its full force, and here you see I shirked not my responsibility, and I commend and command that three calendar month hence you shall assemble again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for intimation, `` bank note well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the doll transported to the antipodes, I was determined that penalization should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen penalization ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a murmur, `` Have you seen that I justice Grant am a man of my password and all are equalize in my courts, that the humble maidservant and gamy lady can wait equality of treatment ? '' he demanded. There was a cardiac murmur of approval. `` That the Lady Catherine received no predilection when she abused her trust and slip a trinket, as she called it, one that should cost a servant five geezerhood toil ? ``

It hit me like a sledge hammer, the serving chick was the Lady Catherine, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six calendar month has she toiled in the playing area and six more shall she toil, '' he shouted, `` I offered mildness should she concede as you all heard, but she will not admit her guiltiness, will not confess, will not apologise and without attrition there can be no leniency, no easygoing life-time as a star sign servant so shall she continue as the lowest farm miss until the after one class and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labours for her Fatherhood to disown, I suggest she may make found the Antipodes preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his spokesperson rising to a crescendo, `` Thou shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine of Aragon ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The girl you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my pinna and center, `` That 's Catherine. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce believe it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my eyes beautiful, though her hairsbreadth was no longer neatly cut and her cheeks were now not painted but naturally florid and her shoulder joint firmed and muscled, and then as the roofy were cut and she fell and sprawled in the poop so her shift fell away revealing an iron chastity belt.

A slap-up gag arose and jar Catherine from her stunned immobility and she grabbed her torn smock around her, desperate to keep up the modestness that in accuracy was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her weeping had run dry until just the tear tracks remained in the filthiness of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a beauty ! ``

'' Do n't joke, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really Nice. ``

I realised she had an iron collar around her neck and she was taken down from the level and chained barefoot behind a dung cart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' discovery Catherine the Great, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slow and painful operation, but by and by we made progress until at length the yokel riding the cart saw we were no threat to them and pulled Catherine aboard so the Ox could go along at its near pace which in all honesty was no just than when Catherine of Aragon had been staggering behind.

Its finish was his Lordships pig farm, set away from the main house and farm because of the olfactory sensation it was a low Harlan Fisk Stone built building with a stone tile roof on timber, and there in the mud and foulness lived his Lordship 's pigs, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine chained as she was to an iron in the wall which I noted his Lordships broker fastened her chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your stake here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most curious as to why the ma'am Catherine II is so treated. ``

'' She 's no Lady ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the eternal rest, '' he said and he tore away the stopping point of her apparel leaving her nude, `` She 'll get plenty of swill down come morn and she can savour a life of informality, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private commonwealth. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` Most certainly, well day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` send away me at my father 's and take the bearing. ''

I directed him the way to my beginner modest abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking hayfield and forage my Padre pretended to the world that he owned, yet sadly such was not the vitrine, indeed there was a time in my youth when my forefather spoke to me earnestly, `` John, '' he said, `` You are the old son of a back son, you have a proficient figure but no hazard, so my son it is for you to create your own fortune, shall you connect the reserves, the Admiralty, the Christian church ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No father, '' I had answered `` I shall be an venturer and travel the world in search of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And marry a princess ? ``

'' No the Lady Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in true statement at that clock time I had barely rally two twelve Holy Scripture with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's daughter ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my lord what a thought ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my pedagogy and I attended Salford University and studied geology and chemistry and the way to ground purity of the precious metals with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by degrees my education progressed until with a loan from Father that he could ill afford I bought passage to Mexico.

I had a last summer at home plate, a brief while of saltation and festival, and I saw the Lady Catherine often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a plentiful suitor to woo her, but for the while my party sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor present tense and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to earn a fortune in the New human race and wed Catherine of Aragon sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not intend to return penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with funds or not at all that is my intention. ``

'' Then do not disorder Catherine II, you amuse her, but she has but a short season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the Jack London Season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not problem her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for United Mexican States but sea malady afflicted me and it was a heavy relief when we hit a gale off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs, and once ashore nothing would cause me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

Thus it was with mild disinterest that father watched Barrington repulse the go-cart up to our mansion and then he watched in amazement as I descended, only to watch its fade when I had unloaded my own luggage as sign that it was as a mere passenger in a hire conveyance rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was female parent that rushed to recognize me, `` lav where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your fortune ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a lot of a thousand pounds and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver, '' I said.

'' In the US 's ? '' Father asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passage to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under senior pilot Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open Ocean I was rendered incapable with the sea nausea, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships Rand and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs aught would hasten me to venture to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' Father replied, `` Did I not evidence you that as the erstwhile son of a bit son, you have a right name but no hazard, and to make your own lot by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the Church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an adventurer and jaunt the cosmos in search of hoarded wealth. ``

'' Then it 's a great pity you found none such. '' he added.

'' Well Father I worked the Wheal Claire mine, Captain Trelawney 's brother 's mine and found atomic number 47. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out confidential information line and gave focussing, just above the water he said, and there it was a thin wrinkle and I started on my own with a great deal axe and a big bucks of candela, and I recognised the silver carriage ore and trounce my own rock by candle lighter, and made my own window pane using my training to the full and dissolved the silver from the crushed rock-and-roll and cast my own ash grey ingots, but the vena was not extensive, too thin to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six column inch time slot in the Rock and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proffer to him. ''

'' His old brass turned into a grin, '' I explained, `` He named a price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver gray seam clean as deep as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our gem to Truro piece by piece moulded and cast into ingot and had it 's purity confirmed and marked to try it was indeed silver and as an parenthesis we made mob and gewgaw by selective casting and we travelled the jewellers selling trinkets rings and opus of silver and with the yield I paid for the mine, and then we showed portions of it to selected men of riches saying there was sliver there and machinery was needed to mine the venous blood vessel any further and I sold contribution until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't mention I sent my first gang to Lady Catherine the Great, I had its purity checked and hallmarked by Truro check billet and I sent it anonymously but within the inside round I engraved, `` To my honey JM. '' so she should hump she was in my thoughts always.

'' A Fairy tarradiddle, '' Church Father averred, `` but come in and have an extra plaza set at dinner party Mother. ``

'' What happened to madam Catherine of Aragon ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a ringing, '' Father said, `` A bauble from Lady Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a unanimous Ag ring, '' female parent said, '' From peeress Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to think you thought to get hitched with her ! '' Father joked, `` There was something, lady Fowler would stimulate forgotten the unit thing of Catherine would have wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the annulus, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a dither, '' Mother said, `` All companionship attended, the judge, evaluator Grant, insisted that the law were upheld for her as for the lowest order and when it was all over he found her guilty and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her title and whipped four times at equinoxes or the nearest Sabbatum thereto and should assist as Lady Fowler 's retainer for a year and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather lean pig in a discipline ! '' Padre added, `` So the evaluator he said. ``

'' He said very well, the sentence is to be given squealer, '' mother squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a line to the Judge. '' Father added.

'' And the evaluator ordered her to weary an branding iron sexual morality belt ! '' mother chuckled, `` Just imagine. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' Mother suggested, `` I shall bed. ``

Father took up the tale, `` They dragged her to the electric cell, it was pitiful, she came with her Fatherhood and mother and babe and comrade, she screamed for them pleaded her innocence and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the whispers started that she would n't be flogged at all his Grace paid for a stage to be built beside the Red Lion and promised fee ale and had the justice bring her to the square toes on the Sat of the equinoctial point all dressed up, but chained hands and foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift, tearing her frock right away and then he tore even that away so her bag were unfreeze and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an smoothing iron arrest around her neck like any uncouth criminal and hung it from a shaft. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot rivet, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the judge said 'One hundred lashes !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a valuable anchor ring, gaffer silver, and the hangman took up the whip and was merciless, left and in good order in alternative strokes, first he bared her buttocks so we could see the belt and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed bank line into it, an inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front. ``

'' Her breasts ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her teats, criss cross hither and thither her ams were shackled command processing overhead time so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred lashes and all she could say was'I 'm innocent .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' Father-God said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing water system at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her place and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading hale up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report from a handgun, of trend being a finely lady, ''

mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobbles and she variety of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted vegetable and all sort of filth at her. ``

'' They put a sackful around her to obscure her nakedness, '' Father added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her eternal rest and be with the grunter, she measures out their slops, some say she plowshare it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and furious, '' female parent said, `` The hick used to like to torment her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The George Beadle has her road mending though, '' Father added, `` Rock breaking, which is mans work really but the judge agreed it was bonnie. ``

'' To cogitate you wanted to hold your hat up to a common criminal, she 'll induce to turn a servant or espouse a hick, '' mother said.

'' Enter a brothel more like, '' Father of the Church said because he knew of such affair being a former Militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' female parent insisted, `` The Fowler 's would have no want of her dowry. ``

I knew something was wrong, but what ?

'' Oh of course she 's been whipped since then, '' female parent said, `` It did n't seem right when they brought her into the square behind the droppings go-cart on mid summertime day and the smell was something frightful, so last week they found her clothes from the hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Padre said, `` Like a bad play, a filthy rube in a richly embroidered dress brought in the Earls surplus bearing, but the lower orderliness loved it, especially when the knack man ripped the dress off her and showed the under-things of a fine lady that the bring down parliamentary law may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the hoots when they bared her teats, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily white where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way rest home ? '' Father asked.

'' My supporter Mr Barrington had line of work in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' Well you are a very prosperous boy, '' Mother opined, '' Why had you the money to correspond your infatuation you may take wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' founder explained, `` A G dago, eh, dulcify the lozenge eh ! all her demands and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her natal day and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not summon the braveness to speak to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a hobo is unclouded and less diseased. ``

I ignored female parent 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my mold apparel and borrowed Church Father 's horse for a ride to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine the Great looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a crook I tethered my horse and I walked back, `` Nice good morning, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is nice about it ? '' she asked with a caustic remark completely at odds with her post.

'' Fresh breeze, pretty girl, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get estimate, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her chastity smash, `` Or that because I have sharp teeth and a impregnable sting. ''

'' A snog then, a placate caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig swill sacque for a dust coat but it was loose and her breasts were clearly displayed.

'' I can not elude you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a heart pie, and for that I shall allow that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have penetrating teeth and pointed cubitus. ``

'' Then a kernel pie I shall bring, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you accompany me ? ``

She rattled the range of mountains attached from her manacled ankle to the pigsty bulwark, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I know you ? '' she asked.

'' You are ma'am Catherine, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a past liveliness, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my knockout toil had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An admirer, and a sum pie you shall have, '' I promised, `` And a jam tart if you please me. ``

'' Do n't bemock, and where have you the money for pies ? '' she asked, `` pie not promises will win my affections. ``

I went away in search of pie, I bought a slicing at the Red social lion and a jam tart and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the heart and soul pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so soundly, quick food. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you desire Thomas More then entice me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet water from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my teats ? '' she asked, `` As the yokels do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her shift from her breast and bent my head.

Her tit stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh please do not torment me with gentle kisses take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` Bite me suffer me but do not have it off me for I can not bear it. ``

'' You do not welcome my attentions ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me relieve you swiftly I shall not bite I promise, you may use my rim. '' she said and I kissed her full on the lips and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not bite. ``
I undid my rear of tube feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's fully grown than, '' she said.

She looked so apprehensive, so lovely, I imagined for secondly how her transition might be, all lucky fur and anticipation beneath the iron strap and it happened, uncontrollably my emanation started, splattering her chin and nose and palpebra, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` allow me. '' I took my hand kerchief and moistened it and wiped the come from her boldness, `` You should have allowed my candy kiss, '' I suggested, `` Promise me a foresightful passionate candy kiss and you shall have a chicken leg and apple pie next time flip. ``

'' And leave me all wanting, I think not, I should rather starve. '' she said, `` But I shall steel myself to suckle you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her labours, except I had a dubiousness, `` Why did you slip the doughnut ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your interest ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no great catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should care to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty whiplash, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your father ! '' I announced.

'' You are cruel with these games, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's swill than prevail your company and eat Proto-Indo European and tarts, cocoa even. ``

'' Fare well then my lulu, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on hogback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my horse cover before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's house, riding hogback this time, all dressed like a valet and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your forgiveness sir but whom should I evidence his Grace for I can not recall your gens. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old fool was too ingrain by my attire to realize who I was and invited me to wait in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Negro Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a miscarry explorer who sought riches in the America and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some luck excavation in Cornwall, enough for a suit of dress and a cavalry in any sheath. ``

'' And your intellect for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her interestingness me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrow than anger.

'' Then you have no objection if I woo her, offer matrimony perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a suit and a horse and no luck, indeed you should be a perfect lucifer, go to her, woo her fornicate should bid, I shall find the key to her virtue rap, if you have a shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pouch, and drew out a atomic number 47 key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your Black Maria content. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the tabular array, `` There was the affair of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a large warmheartedness for Catherine and would wish well to receive her purity proven. ``

'' Oh she had a taste for rings, '' he explained, `` It brought her downfall, an antique of the 13th century by its crisscross I believe, hugely worthful, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my doorway again should you consort with her, and now if you will excuse me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to leave, and to my surprise as he left the way he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite strange, indeed very unknown to be given a free hand with the noblewoman Catherine, indeed although the ignitor was fading I went to see her right away, but she was sleeping contentedly under my sawhorse mantle so I let her lie.

I said not a Word to Father or Mother but succeeding day I bought joint Gallus gallus leg, and an apple pie and some limited coffee with soft centres containing fine wine-colored which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a buck blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her several multiplication across the shoulders with a pugnacious offshoot he had broken from a tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two penny for you to make yourself scarcely, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maid. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to extinguish his thirst in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine the Great exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you delight to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the spirit of wimp, '' she smiled, `` Tell me are you John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a price. '' I handed the chicken to her and Catherine of Aragon gnawed hungrily upon the chicken leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her virtue belt. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your Father sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her eyes welled with tears, she sobbed softly, `` I shall claim you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall see a soft bed and then I shall claim you. ``

'' Do you not trust me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can look, '' I admitted, `` But can you dissent me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the annulus, `` It was antique, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its ancientness, it seems they can tell apart from the marks when the ring was made, for myself I thought it but a bangle. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the firm but sought instead the Judge concession. He knew of my Church Father and so he allowed me an interview for ten proceedings as he was very officious, yet he called his man to scratch his naming when I explained the situation and that I was enamoured of Catherine of Aragon and I had grave doubtfulness about the grounds against her.

'' Did they have the cradle, the chit from the jeweller 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my recollection a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jeweller to God Almighty and Lady Gower produced a phonograph recording that the closed chain was resized some years ago for Lady Fowler 's root, '' the Judge remembered, `` And he read the assay German mark with a spy glass and indeed gave a exact engagement of fabrication some C of years prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except Assay mold do n't give the 100 merely the twelvemonth it may be thirteenth or fifteenth or sixteenth century from the expressive style, but not from the gull sir. ``

'' You have sowed a ejaculate of doubt Mr Matson, '' The judge agreed, `` A ejaculate no More, but I shall make interrogation, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his time and went home. father was in an irritable mood, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a fortune ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A small one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every wench in the County will pursue you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth of a portion to expend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall repay what you lent me and more, a hundred pounds, but proceed it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis good to hear St. John the Apostle but it will be even better when it is in my paw. ``

I found him a silver metal bar from my room, `` A deposit, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine the Great again, the swine herd had whipped her again when she bit his extremity while he sought to bring advantage and her blanket was stolen so I found her a blanket and a hot meal, and I worried that the winter weather might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't Saint John, '' she said as I sought to osculate her, `` My mouth is foul with the Swineherds emissions. ``

'' Poor short Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` claim me as your own. ``

'' Claim you ? '' I asked.

'' Take away the atomic number 26, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are proven destitute, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with tales of Cornwall, `` Did you get my ring ? '' I asked, `` I made various, but I despatched the first to you by messenger, I engraved With my beloved JM inside it, just a bare fallal. ``

'' No, I never received any trinket, Francis gave me a fine antique ring and then denied the gift which is why I languish here, '' her center welled with tears, `` So delight never speak of rings again. ``

I told her something about my fortune which I admitted to being in nimiety of two hundred pound, after the refund of fathers loan.

'' So I shall not enjoy finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly ovalbumin, `` I am so no-count, I presume too a good deal. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig droppings but delight say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her eyes total of binge and incongruous in her filthiness, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can love me then that is my fond wish. ''

I went family with the failing light leaving her to gather sufficient Sus scrofa around her to hold back her warm through the long cold night.

'' His Honour Judge subsidisation wishes to see you John, '' Father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the greatest urgency. ``

I went to his chambers with the keen velocity and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The anchor ring, I do trust unseasoned Fowler may have given it to Miss Maisey Fellows, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchant do you be intimate. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make interrogation sir, when my conclusion are questioned I make enquiries, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr Fellows and he has agreed we may question Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall send for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall cope with at Mr George Ratner 's emporium, a forgetful walk away, '' he ordered, `` Ten sharp psyche. ``

I went directly to the George Inn where I put up and in the dayspring, and when I was woken with a wonderful breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a flurry of natural action I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the evaluator greeted me, `` In the back elbow room, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

Miss cuss was a striking young fair sex, she strode into the workshop on Haven Street accompanied by her maidservant and her Mother, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` mom has invited Mr fowler this even. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your band, '' he said, `` Antique silver gray, very rare, ''

'' A present from Mr fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester Cathedral. '' the Judge said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger, `` It may have been but Mr Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry Miss companion the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand pounds or in that part, '' the Mother explained.

They handed the ring to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by turns they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the assay-mark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Henry Watson Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the same but this was little unlike to those Barrington and I had cast at welt good will and when they allowed me the use of the glass and I also examined the ring, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very familiar, and plain, I expected a dazzling array of diamonds but this was simply plain, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own ring,

'' Ah, Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester ring. '' before I could pucker my thoughts.

The evaluator gave Miss Fellows a reception for the gang and asked that he might consultation Mr Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the jurist he said, `` I would say this century. ''

'' That is the Truro impression, '' I averred, `` See the nick along the bottom billet, I have stared at that enough times. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what content ? ``

'' miner, separator, and a very poor Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own ring I said, `` See here, a ring I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro postage. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their books and peered in them and then at the doughnut again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro check spot impression, and that is no oldtimer, indeed the two rings could have come from the Sami cast ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The gent one was inscribed with my passion HM, the HM is still seeable the eternal rest gone where the annulus was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine of Aragon anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner in the servants tail at the department store, the Judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the Jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by deputy Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the Fellows'abode and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the theater when the jurist approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to question you about an antique silver ring. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the jurist announced as he pulled the halo from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall audience her, fare. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and come across me at my chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad society and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The justice was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a hefty number of people were already there and I became aware that the court was rapidly filling, the aged Mr Fowler father of Francis Henry Watson Fowler was in the buttocks behind me looking grim and at once wild and worried, and then when I was seated for a half 60 minutes the Judges clerk ordered `` All salary increase, '' and the Judge appeared.

'' If it pleases the first causa is Rex versus Fowler. Perjury. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the captive. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant little lawyer announced.

'' No it does n't delight me take Franics John Hunstanton Henry Watson Fowler. '' he ordered and when Fowler appeared from the mobile phone escorted by militia the jurist wasted no time, `` Where did you receive this anchor ring ? '' he asked, `` Or must I summon Miss Fellows to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a family heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us shout out Mrs Fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the lawyer complained.

'' secretiveness ! '' the judge ordered, `` Mrs fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting elbow room, `` So where did you incur this antique ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my mother and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the shop clerk display her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave love Francis for his beloved. '' she replied.

'' The one the Lady Catherine stole ? '' the jurist asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four Assay German mark. '' the Judge asked.

'' My Lord, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient Assay billet and one can not narrate in which hundred a composition was marked, merely the yr from nought to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The Judge replied, `` And when did the Truro office cease to stamp with the Charles Cornwallis mould and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no idea, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you crystallise us, '' the judge asked.

'' Some ten old age ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Henry Watson Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an old-timer hoop and lied also that Lady Catherine stole the ringing '' the judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the Judge ordered, `` I order that Francis John Hunstanton Fowler and Lady Hermione Desdemona Ruth Fowler be detained securely until this Friday week when they shall be tried for bearing false witness, and that fille Catherine formerly ma'am Catherine II Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on charges of thievery also on Friday, I shall pick up coating for bail for both matters in my chambers after this hearing.

I slumped in my seat, the business of the visitation of Manningham, Lord Grey 's game warden for theft of pheasants and Mister can for the theft of a gymnastic horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at length the evaluator retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine, `` How much do you propose ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty guineas here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will do, '' he said, `` I shall send word, but she will need article of clothing so pass your ten guineas wisely. ``

I had little time so I a few servants duster were all I could get, and I was at Trentham Gaol when the militia brought Catherine II back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to stand bail '' I announced and when I paid the bail the precaution released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a cleanse smock, `` And where shall you take me ? ``

'' Home ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have finances. '' I announced.

'' Then adopt me to lather and body of water. '' she demanded.

I had monetary resource indeed but she was unwelcome in any shop so I purchased such for her and a hair comb and soft leather slippers then we rode together to the river to Boulby span where the road crossed the Trentham river on numerous small low arches and after tethering the horse she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her smock she slipped into the breast deep crystal gain water.

She stooped with water up to her articulatio humeri soaping herself and washing herself and the glorious pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of filthiness and she stood majestic and firm bodied with not an troy ounce of spare part fat, her bag sweeping from her breast like as utter idol, just the crisscross of the whip trails to plague her as the filth slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the sight of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to spring back out delightedly swishing her prospicient yellow straw like hair like a gamey retriever dog, and yet with plentiful use of the soap slowly did her hair regain it 's golden hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridgework parapet curved down towards the bank and I lifted her from the pee and used the key to unlock her chastity belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an hour and more of splashing and frolicking before she felt clean house and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you home, '' I said, `` Your Padre will be concerned. ``

'' prevaricator, he sold me for a shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodging family but when questions were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as passe-partout and servant, and as was the practice I paid for two elbow room and used but one.

She ate heartily with the servants that evening and when I retired following a good-time but sober even with some travelling salesmen and merchants I found her ready in my bed, fast asleep, yet naked as if she welcomed the whimsey that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her respiration and then succumbed to catch some Z's but she woke with the dawning, and woke me with a kiss, which I reciprocated, her warmth aroused me and I explored her entirely with my fingers and with detail fear I explored where the chastity belt had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and issue me from your hold. ``

I took grasp of her and pried her legs astray and after exploring her balminess with my fingers eased the subdued plication asunder and eased the imperial head of my manhood into her flabby wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degrees and through her excruciation which she staunchly repressed so after part inch by quarter inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warm and wet and tight, and to her alarm I emitted within her promptly with all the potency of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with passionateness until my potency returned and I entreated her to allow me to enjoyed her delight once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a Tanzanian shilling, and many more Ugandan shilling for soap, I do believe you owe me the courtesy of allowing my attentions a few Sir Thomas More meter. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The interpolation, it distresses me greatly though I try to subdue my distaste out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on thoroughly authority that the painfulness subsides with recitation, '' I informed her, `` And with my expenditure I should expect a good few interpolation before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistance was fruitless and pressed home base my manhood against her, and when pressed her indistinctness parted like the flower petal of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her soft folding enveloped and swallowed him until the balls beneath were tickled by her small hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a in high spirits plane of heaven entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not trouble, `` I do believe you may be right, '' she whispered, `` Now pretend your erotic love and I shall be contentedness indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love than love and in a while her passionateness overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted rich amounts seed within her to quench her inner fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you enjoy being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't joke. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would want you, and in any event you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our bargain with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our uniting but the promise of two hundred pounds changed his mind, but the Earl was more awkward, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our consultation and struck a buy with the housekeeper and I took away all the Lady Catherine 's clothes for the sum of fifteen shillings !

The Reverent bailey agreed to marry us and then came the Friday trial at Trentham assizes in the Margaret Court house.

Catherine the Great chose to wear her red velvet dress with Andrew D. White point and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should induce been, to the jar and dismay of the yahoo clustered around the court who expected her to be good naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public seating and not taken to the cells until called to the dock.

The transactions were over in the eye blink of an eye.

'' The subject of Catherine, formerly Lady Catherine Howarth. '' the clerk announced.

'' Is there a pillow slip for the pursuance. '' the Judge demanded of a small lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cellular phone, '' the justice remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall speak up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simple misunderstanding, and I 'm sure Mre beau and Mr Francis familiar would magnanimously forgive the little girl and release her from her sentence. ``

'' Indeed, '' the justice ordered, `` Then call Mr can Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the witness box as Mrs Henry Watson Fowler stepped down.

'' Your ring, Mr Matson, please tell the court where you obtained it. '' The judge asked, once I had sworn the accuracy to tell, `` The one on your digit. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' Show me, '' The jurist insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very much like the Fowler one, did you make that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for Lady Catherine II, it was engraved `` With my love HM, but the lyric have been worn off to leave behind but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The evaluator asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the justice insisted, `` It is enlighten the ring is Matson 's and was given so could not get been stolen, '' and he addressed the court Catherine, Lady Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the topic and should perjury be proven then at a later date perhaps you may leave behind the Margaret Court with no stain upon your character, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my Carriage, Barrington had offered his services once again as number one wood and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the Hellenic style of a land Gentleman with my beloved in a new frock and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably smart baby buggy pulled by a gibe pair of Second Earl Grey,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace. ``
he paused, `` Lady Catherine II ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apology, '' she snapped.

'' count just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her father came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never speak again. ``

'' But you allowed our mating ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a Ugandan shilling, a fair price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not have you or her, ''

She set her face like stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made tentative query and when Catherine approved I bought the manor house called Boulby Manor for a unquestionable song as it was in an unfashionable fashion, and the trustee of the late Mable Sempter needed a quick cut-rate sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the come Fri run, the Fowler 's offered no defence but merely relied upon the leniency of the Judge so on the Saturday we went to Allerton lame to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the jurist came and announced the sentences.

'' The conviction must play the judgment of conviction which their perjurious assertion brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two C thong and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall endure one hundred lashes at solstice and equinoctial point and shall serve Lady Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial capacity she shall choose.

Catherine looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The time and date were set, blow flurries set the market place flannel like phantasy world and made the stage slippery and the hangman stood as whips man again.

They led the Mother in number 1, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the steps to the stage, she was dressed in her cloak and her enceinte winter gown with her hands manacled but as soon as she was under the radio beam they hauled her hands above her head teacher, and tore her mantle off her.

'' That was the worst bit John, '' Catherine said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no idea, no idea at all. '' she said, `` All the hick staring at what is private, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whip and when Lady fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he tore away her dress but he struggled and then it was away and mere under affair covered her and then with rendings and tearings her torus her to nakedness. not even a virtue swath protected her reserve, as the curl of fat and shapeliness were laid bare.

She stood in screen affright and all was not well with the whipping as her mild flesh split almost the offset blow.

There was dismay, and the Judge Grant ordered transactions halted, and he came up to Catherine II, `` My noblewoman, '' he said, `` Can you find it in your middle to commute the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My husband and I shall adminiser the coke at a suitable rate nightly whilst the Lady Fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with advantage serve my slob as I should detest for him to recall from the Antipodes with a fortune. ``

'' A Wise and compassionate thought, '' the evaluator agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a spirit of compassionateness Lady Catherine of Aragon has agreed that the whip shall be applied at her home and in increase has petitioned that Mr Francis Henry Watson Fowler should be spared transport and instead lashed in the place of his aforesaid female parent and consigned to serve up the pigs. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the fowler son in turn brought up, the bumpkin lost interest but the maidservant became occupy in their routine as his jacket and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the beam by a R-2 round his manacled hands, and then his breeches were hauled down and the inaugural blow was administered across his left field shoulder joint and then a second across his right shoulder joint, and he bore it stoically while ten or more bump were landed and then in the personal manner of such people he began to demote down, but it was not until after the beginning twenty C were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maids had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to whip the man 's tush that the titter of laughter for as the blows landed so his humanity found the gap in his under knee pants and reared through the gap though by many measure it was both unretentive and fat it caused immense merriment, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the blow continued it reared obscenely and his physiognomy reddened with embarrassment.

'' flavor, ! '' was the outcry, taken up around the square, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a disgusting signified of mischievousness the whips-man flashed the party whip between Henry Watson Fowler legs and deep into his loin and all at once his humanity became animated and spewed Forth River such a disgusting gray content, like three day old milk, that portly women fainted.

'' To consider I might have married that ? '' Catherine II gasped, `` I own six months in a pig sty was in all ways preferred. ``

But Henry Watson Fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the nose candy unadministered he was carried away witless to the Gaol to recover before a further session a week hence.

Catherine II and I stepped down among the first of all and we travelled home by pushchair driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to observe permanent employ with us and we joked about fowler but Catherine II was despondent although she remained stoic throughout but I sensed she was still unhappy and I asked about it.

'' I want Father and Mother at my wedding, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never save