An old account reprised.

Note All characters are entirely ficticious and my apologies of any family or company public figure have inadvertently been used


My Lady 's Descent, the Butlers Tale.


I was idly cleaning some silverware. The sun was shining through the draught way windows. The lawns stretched away towards the lake with its island and folly while a gardener snipped ineffectually away at the lawn edges. It was an ordinary summertime day.

Mr Harrison my Divine 's parentage broker and adviser arrived just after luncheon, he asked no involve to see my noblewoman with the utmost urgency.

'' But sir, my noblewoman is resting, '' I explained, knowing she was most likely with one lieutenant Carruthers her belated dalliance.

I went to seek her, I went upstairs to her room and knocked decorously, and then as one does I listened intently.

'' Oh yes, '' she was gasping, `` Oh that 's sooo practiced, do n't stop. ``

'' There 's person knocking, '' a man 's voice hissed.

'' Mr Harrison wishes an hearing my lady, '' I explained through the fold door.

'' Then have him don a amusing wig and look at the Adelphi ! '' the man joked.

'' Johnny, '' my lady whispered, `` Look its Gerald 's banker, I had better go, '' and she shouted `` Just a moment ! ''

Amazingly quickly my lady appeared at the doorway, a sight of golden whorl and vermillion chiffon, spoiled only by smeared lipstick.

'' My noblewoman, '' I explained, `` Your lip peg ? ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` Do n't be so damned impertinent ! '' but she still looked in the mirror and repaired the damage with a napkin.

'' Good chap, mums the Word of God ? '' Carruthers said as he followed her from the room while smoothing his cricket jersey down and taking his wallet from his T. H. White cricket trousers he tucked a ten bob note in my top pocket, `` See myself out, vertebral column way. '' and he slipped away, the very prototype of a couch lizard, or should that be footle snake.

I left him to his deceit and deception, no doubt the regiment thought he was elsewhere, perhaps he was at cricket and had himself bowled out to give up half an 60 minutes for cuckolding but perhaps his enormous ego would not allow him to appear less than a back breaker at the creese but he was certainly most worthless of my peeress 's affections.

My dame swept downstairs, `` Mister Harrison, what a pleasant surprisal ! '' she simpered.

'' I fear not Lady Saltcoats, '' he said, `` Can we speak privately ? ``

'' The bailiwick is usable my lady, '' I suggested.

'' He means bugger off Holdford ! '' my dame hissed.

'' Alford my lady, '' I corrected, `` Certainly my lady. ``

'' Go on then ! '' she hissed and she ushered me away.

I went to the kitchen, I sat on my pot, Mrs bridgework the Captain Cook stood at the swallow hole, `` put out Mr Alford ? '' she asked.

I looked at her, heavy breasted, round shouldered and old before her clip, `` None of our business Mrs Bridges, '' I said using the good manners title of Mrs despite the fact she had never married and was likely a virgin, with little prospect of losing that distinction.

'' If you say so sir ! '' she said sarcastically.

I let it go and then suddenly my lady shouted `` No ! ``

I stood and rushed to the study and flung the door wide. My lady was aghast, but stood railway yard from Harrison, `` No, it can not be so ! '' she cried.

'' What have you done sir ? '' I demanded, `` My noblewoman is distraught ! ``

'' Not I, '' he said, `` I accept no incrimination. ``

'' For what ? '' I asked.

'' nobleman Saltcoats has been declared bankrupt, '' Harrison explained, `` Receivers have been appointed, my Almighty has seven calendar days to countermand these assumption, meanwhile all bank account statement are freeze out. ``

'' What do you imply ? '' I demanded.

'' family accounts, all that sort of thing, '' he explained, `` It 's the store market, and reinsurance, high finance, you would n't translate. ``

I should experience hit him for his insult, but how was he to know my dependable fictitious character ? Instead I congratulated myself on blending so subtly into the fabric of the land house.

'' There will be some residue surely, the London residence ? '' I asked.

'' Mortgaged, '' he said, `` And remortgaged, liabilities vastly exceed the assets. ``

'' Then why let this happen ! '' I queried.

'' None of your commercial enterprise, '' he said, `` But I had no idea, none at all, I merely manage his Lordship 's investment funds portfolio, of trend we made heavy losses, but no to a greater extent than anyone else, LE than many, it 's not my fault he started meddling in insurance, none at all ! ``

'' What does it have in mind, where will we go ! '' my lady demanded.

The telephone set rang, in an automatic reflex I went to the incoming hall to answer it.

'' Rainsford House, Lord Saltcoats mansion house, '' I answered automatically.

'' Alford, is that Alford ? '' individual demanded.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed.

'' right wing look its Ted Griggs here, '' he said, `` His lordship 's Greater London chauffeur, I got some bad news. ''

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' spirit tell Mrs Bridges that Lord Saltcoats, has disappeared, '' he said.

'' Disappeared, no he 's gone bankrupt. '' I said.

'' Well I dropped him off at Victoria around ten o'clock this first light and they said to go domicile when I got back, I reckon he legged it to French Republic on the shape de working girl, '' he meant the Golden Arrow geartrain, `` What do you entail bankrupt ? '' he demanded, `` Oh damn, I ai n't got no more penny tell Mrs Bridges, '' he said after the telephone pinged and suddenly it went dead Brrrrrrr.

'' It seems his lordship has left left us, '' I said as I returned.

'' Only seemly matter, '' Harrison agreed, `` Gun or noose ? ``

'' The train ferry to France ! '' I corrected.

'' Oh the total shit ! '' my madam cried.

'' Indeed my noblewoman, '' I agreed and I slipped away.

Generally private use of his lordship 's telephone was dry land for inst judgment of dismissal but I no longer cared, and throwing caution to the wind I booked a birdcall to my bank in Liverpool where they were keeping my `` crime syndicate silver grey, '' in their condom deposit.

'' Alford ! '' my lady protested when she saw me at the telephone when I should deliver shown Mr George Harrison out, but I ignored her.

She flew at me afterwards, `` How daring you ! '' she said, `` compile your thing you are dismissed forthwith ! ``

'' And how shall you pay me what you owe ? '' I demanded, `` You can not. ``

'' I can send packing you with cipher ! '' she said, `` No payment, no reference, no case ! ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried, `` Well perhaps you can pay me. ``

'' No ! take your things and go ! '' she said.

'' Perhaps you could pay me the way you pay lieutenant Carruthers and a few more than I might observe ! '' I suggested.

'' No, Rape ! '' she wailed and she rushed towards her room.

I followed, I caught her at the threshold and pushed her inside pausing only to bolt the door.

'' No ! '' she said, `` Well at least let me loosen the maulers, this price an absolute luck. ``
'' Of course, '' I said, `` leave me. ``

She sat on the bed as I unfastened her dress, `` Be careful, '' she pleaded and then she stood and it fell around her feet.

Her well rounded breasts bulged over her red corset, her red knickers enclosed by the suspender straps, and she stood up and laid the dress carefully on the dresser.

'' That 's better, '' she said and she screamed, `` Rape, '' again respective times.

'' Ot would appear the US cavalry is otherwise engaged my gentlewoman, '' I observed as I removed my highly polished black horseshoe to divulge well wear upon black socks with protruding big toes, which I hurriedly removed, `` Does police lieutenant Carruthers remove his shirt and under shirt brothel keeper ? '' I asked.

'' No, though it is none of your occupation, '' she declared, `` Brassica napus ! '' she shouted again.

I removed my crown and shirt straw man, slipped the cardboard collar off and removed my undershirt.

'' dear lord, '' she gulped, `` Alford, '' and then I unbuttoned my tent flap and removed trousers and underpants in a single motion.

'' God, you are pleased to see me are n't you ! '' she exclaimed as she gazed at my humanness as it strained, `` Right, '' she said as she snapped her suspenders away from her stockings and pushed her knee pants down before kicking them off her feet.

'' rapine, '' she shouted again and then, `` Oh well, you wo n't hurt me will you, and there are some johnny 's in the dressing table.

'' They spoil the moment my lady, '' I explained, `` I shall ride you as the good noble intended. ``

It was nearly a week since my last night off, spent with two buxom sporting lady in the townsfolk a wearisome ten foresighted air mile away by bicycle, and my motivation was swell, and her protests were short but tokens.

'' Do n't hurt me, '' she asked again as I gripped her waist as I planted my knee firmly between hers and blindly aimed my manhood at her.

'' Hey, '' she said, `` Not there, let me, '' and she guided my straining manhood between her spiritual world cunt lips and took me to heaven.

'' Do something then, '' she insisted.

'' What ? '' I asked as I luxuriated in the feel of her moist cunt gripping me.

'' I do n't know, but it 's not very exciting for me. '' she declared.

I thrust against her, `` good ? '' I asked.

'' much ! '' she said, `` And again, that 's near, '' she said, `` Oh you 're so big, '' she said, `` nooky me, you 're going to prison for this so enjoy yourself ! ``

I started to think of her as a cocotte, a beautiful golden haired high class whore, and then I remembered the smear lip rouge and I determined to try her lips as well and I dipped my lips to fondle hers.

Her tongue emerged instantly, running around my teeth, my mind exploded and so did my cock jerking and pumping and flooding her piece, and as our lip parted she was gasping and grumbling, `` Oh my god, '' she said and then we stilled.

'' Alford, '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``,

'' What ? '' I asked.

'' If we 're bankrupt '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``

'' What is this `` We'suddenly ? '' I asked.

'' Well, what is it to be Alford, rapine or 'we', '' she asked quite reasonably.

'' We, '' I said, `` My lady. ``

`` I expect Gerald has, '' she said quietly, `` He wo n't front downfall, he knows I only want his money, I never loved him. ``

'' And the dashing police lieutenant ? '' I enquired.

'' He makes me find good, '' she said, `` But then to be reliable, so do you. ''

She stretched, `` So what is it to be, a gracious low temperature cell or me ? ``

'' What a choice, may I have a moment to reckon my lady ? '' I asked.

'' Get dressed, we have appearances to maintain, '' she insisted and she went to coiffe again.

I too dressed and made my way downstairs, there was a katzenjammer of voices in the kitchen, I went in, `` Mr Alford, or is it My Jehovah. '' Binks the head gardener challenged.

'' Mr Binks, '' I replied, `` What troubles you ? ``

'' You and her ladyship, '' he said.

'' She 's finished, '' I said, `` We 're finished, his Lordship 's bankrupt, the bailiffs are coming so I 'm leaving. ``

'' And ladyship, '' Mrs Bridges asked.

'' Do n't ask me, '' I insisted.

'' She 's leaving with Mr Alford, '' her ladyship said as she came to stand behind me, `` Tonight. ``

I had no intention of leaving so soon yet there was niggling point in remaining, `` We need to talk, '' I explained.

'' We 'll get a hotel room, '' she suggested, `` Do you aim ? ``

'' Yes, '' I agreed.

'' Then we 'll use up the curlicue, '' she insisted, `` The shooting brake ! ``

We left that same eve, her luggage stowed in every unornamented blank space it that huge crudely overbodied burlesque of a lavishness car so wide-cut that she had to sit beside me, and we made our way north.

'' What will you do ? '' I asked.

'' What do you evoke ? '' she replied.

'' Well I doubt cooking or cleaning is to your taste, '' I suggested, `` Whore, prostitute, courtesan ? ``

'' Yes, '' she agreed, `` I have some money, perhaps we could get a elbow room ? ``

'' Perhaps, but for now, '' I suggested, `` Lady Alford and her Chauffeur ? ``

'' reprint layer ? '' she asked, `` I 'll call you Alan ! ``

'' One for sleeping and one for work ! '' I joked.

I could n't commit her, I never really intended for her to get a whore but could not risk telling her the truth, maybe I should accept, but I didn't.

You see three years before my forefather had made organisation for me to do work in the United States of America, to determine about the American English system of banking which seemed so greatly superordinate to ours, and while there the enceinte crash of 1929 erupted through the whole economic system.
I was working at a metier size city cant as a sort of assistant manager, and I was right there when the run came, and when it came it all seemed to materialize all at once.

Ordinary people, even folks waited in a line right down the street and you did n't need to be a whiz to work out out we had not even a one-tenth of the money those masses thought they had in their accounts to pay them. We started paying out in the morning and by midday the vault was abandon, except that is an innocuous cardboard box of big note value bills which somehow found their way in my storage locker, for condom keeping you understand.

Ted Adams chief cashier and Jim McFadden the handler came down the bank anteroom all glum faced, `` Shut the doors Jim, '' McFadden said to the guard, `` We 're gone broke. ``

That triggered a almost wow, I slipped out the backwards way with my box and in all the confusion I swapped my twenty dollar bill seven Buick for the janitor 's bicycle and coat and I rode off down the street on that bicycle with about a half million dollars in that cardboard box balanced on the cross bar.

I went to the apartment I rented, told Mrs Rafferty the concierge I was leaving and I headed north Benjamin West towards New York City on the evening train.

So what do you do when you have half a million buck of person else 's immediate payment ? Why get a job of course.

Except the world and his chum was looking for a job, so I bought some furniture, put my box in a buffet, had it crated and arranged shipment to England on the RMS Mauretania and I sailed home 2nd class.
I had my crate put in storage and looked for a job, told dad I was still in the states, changed my name to Alford and forged some reference point and worked in Liverpool until I fancied some country air and her ladyship took me on as Butler.

She knew my denotation were forged, she thought she could can me any clock time and that would keep me in telephone line and terminate me telling her husband about her lovers.

But now I had half a million buck to spend, without being noticed.

We found a nice little apartment, it was over a betting workshop in the Harrow Road, the landed estate agent had century of vacate property, we could exact our pick.

She had savings, we pawned some of her jewellery, we painted the apartment, bought beds furniture, I had my stuff and nonsense from Liverpool sent over and we worked like a real team.

Then when we were all ready to unfold I told her my plan, `` Look, '' I said one evening after a particularly farsighted and gruelling school term in bed.

'' I know, Mister flopsy is tired, he needs a kiss, '' she said as she bent to kiss my softened penis.

'' My lady, you do n't need to catch some Z's with anyone, except me, '' I explained, '' I have about half a million dollars to launder, you just say an eccentric American paid you in dollars. ``

'' But Alan, '' she said, `` We agreed, we did all the piece of work, we were going to get a maid, start small, construct up, two or three man a night to start out with. ``

'' We can just use it as a cover, '' I explained.

'' But you promised two or three men a day, '' she said angrily, `` You promised ! ``

'' But surely you do n't want ? '' I asked.

'' And you do n't seriously think you fulfill me do you ? '' she asked, `` With Mr Floppy always needing a sucking to recoil starting signal him, for heavens sake ! ``

'' You want to be a working girl ? '' I said incredulously.

'' Yes with you there to protect me, '' she said, `` I expect I could do a valet de chambre in forty minutes and a handmaiden in ten. ``

'' At the same time ? '' I queried, `` One up the back passage ? ``

'' Possibly, '' she said, `` But you did the sums, even with a few days a month when we need a stand in we will cook a killing ! ``

'' But what about us ? '' I asked.

'' Oh, you still get your turn, '' she said, `` But really, seriously, '' she said, `` I need More. ``

We heard cipher of Lord Saltcoats and so it was that we opened `` The dame 's Boudoir '' one eve in September 1932.

The public figure was stencilled on the door beside the betting shop an inside the door we had a booth where the receptionist Lillia sat guarding the bottom of the stair and then I would recognize the gentlemen, take their hats and gloves and stand in attendance in case they needed assistance with stuffing and always maintain delicacy and moderation.

It sickened me, every day she lay in bed from mid morning till after midnight while a succession of men used her, `` Good day sir may I fill your hat ? '' I would ask and get a contemptuous glare in paying back as gloves were thrown in the hat and the hat handed to me.

We reached agreement for the betting shop to be our waiting room, every day there was my lady, answering to any name under the sun, frolic acting the sweet heart, legs astride, cunt glistening. teats distended, bathed in sweat like as not and then dragging some half naked valet minus trousers and underpants but like as not retaining sock and sock brace to her as she grasped his rearing member to aim it within her or draw it to life or mop up.

Hairy asses bobbling as they pounded her, sentence after time, workweek after week, calendar month after month until every oz. of compassion I had for her was ground to cypher by the friction of crotch upon crotch.

I rented a house for us in Middlesborough terrace so we could get away from her study, but she was always too weary so I had the other chamber converted to another study way, bare base and a simple mattress.

They paid duplicate for the simple mattress, the more soiled it got the better they liked it because it stopped being gentlemen and instead it was anyone who won a bet on the horses.

They all wanted to fuck a alright lady on a dirty mattress.

'' Maybe you would choose standing against a wall in the ginnel ? '' I asked in a moment of reckless sarcasm.

'' And how a good deal extra would that be ? '' the blighter asked quite seriously.

'' two-bagger, '' I said flippantly.

'' Then I 'll have that ! '' he agreed.

She used the courtyard, the ginnel was too populace and she wore a pair of cogs and a servants smock, sometimes we had three men waiting while a fourth fucked her standing against the wall.

Sometimes Lillia pretended to be the dame, if she remembered to celebrate her lip shut, when not clamped around a customer 's fellow member that is, she was all right, except it made too much work for me keeping an eye on two working girl, taking money and everything.

One Nox a Irishman asked me to jazz him up the ass while he fucked Lillia. I declined, but it gave me an melodic theme, `` So where do you get you 're ass fucked ? '' I asked.

He told me, I out an advertizement in the window and got ten inquiries in two hours.

I gave Harry the job, he liked nothing better than wearing a skirt with nil under it, usually he wore a kilt but his geordie accent betrayed him and he relished the idea of ramming his meat up valet 's tooshie while they shafted our whores.

He seemed entirely capable so I left him to it, and gradually did less and to a lesser extent time at the Boudoir and he became more or less the coach while I planned my future move.

I went to Jack London and became delayed with my personal matters and came north again to check on my lady.

She was not there, `` Gentlemen want diverseness sir, I got some new girls in, '' Harry explained.

'' But she was the whole reason ! '' I pleaded, `` Where is she ? ``

'' Blowed if I know sir, '' he said, `` I just thought she were a whore, sir. I never thought she was your particular fancy woman. ``

I went out to assay her, I asked around until I heard of individual living in a hut by the railway and earning a crust from home stratum and the like.

I had to find her and bought a plug hat hat and gabardine coat like a railway line official and marched down to the rail yards.

There was no mansion of her, but then a lucky stroke, `` You going for a jar Tam ? '' someone asked a device driver as his teddy ended.

'' Och so I will, after I poke the dame, '' was his reply.

I followed, he went to the engineman 's barracks, where the long space men lodged before returning home, and there I found her nude but for a coat open at the front sitting on an engine man 's cabinet listening to the tales of engines.

'' Enginemen only sir, '' the assistant said politely but firmly.

'' I came to see her, '' I said and pointed, `` How are you ? ``

'' Well, '' she said and she smiled, `` Were you worried ? '' she asked.

'' Yes, you were not at the house, '' I explained.

'' That Harry was beastly, '' she said, `` He wanted to charge more, but I just want sex. ``

'' And now ? '' I asked.

'' They are lovely, all these lonely men to comfort, '' she said, `` They make me find wanted. ''

I looked at her, her blonde hair seemed to be silvering, her skin once like alabaster now weatherbeaten, `` I 'll continue an account for your money, you know where to find me, '' I explained, `` Oh Geoffrey turned up, '' I added, `` He 's working as a Gigolo in three-card monte Carlo, maybe you two were made for each early after all. ``

'' Maybe, '' she admitted but the Scotsman had her in his coal dusted arms and his pitch blackness hands ran through her hair and his disgraceful sass brushed her deep red lips and it was more than I could behave to see.

I hid my snag and left her even as she gasped in approval as her scots lover took her to heaven once more .