In the CAW 24 screw thread, Pars001 asked :

'' also can it deliver a sci fi mystery or alien romance theme ? after all I am strange ''

My reply was :

'' How about treaty negotiations between the < insert name here > alien airstream and the humans. The final treaty has to be consummated by sex between an alien and a homo. For extra points, tell it from both man and alien tip of view.

BTW : This is not an entirely original idea. ``

I had to try this one.

—

The president stared at the webpage, its oversaturated disconsolate vividness hurt his eyes, but it was the picture which was just confusing and made his vexation. How did they do that ? He looked at his briefing papers for reference, the diagram of the extraterrestrial being female. If he squinted, you might mistake them for normal people, in a dark alley, during a office outage. Everything was just in the damage stead, and he really did n't want to think of the function of that orifice, just next to their reproductive orifice.

He turned to his chief skill advisor. `` Are you totally sure as shooting this is how they do it ? ``

'' The linguists are overconfident mr President. They studied the body nomenclature in minute of arc particular, it was said as if it were the most pattern activity. They 'll be mightily offended if we do n't do it their way. ``

'' He really said, 'its consummated with a fuck on hold out TV, your president and our chairwoman'? ``

'' That 's exactly what he said mr President. ``

'' And we 've confirmed that that 's what he meant ? ``

'' We asked about politely for elucidation, and that is what he meant. He seemed perturbed by the question. We do n't want to countermine the dialogue, so we just moved politely onto the logistics of the act. ``

'' This is n't going to kill me or maybe worse, vote out her ? ``

'' All the data point shows we are extremely compatible. We evolved from he same basic amino acids as they did, our foods are compatible. We would even classify them as mammals if we did n't eff they 're noncitizen. They give parentage to be young, and they suckle them, they even have vestigial body hair's-breadth. Our measurements indicate that our sex organ are of compatible sizing. ``

The prexy flinched at the acknowledgment of sex organs, it was his balls on the note here. Rather too literally for his liking.

'' So how is this going to go down ? ``

'' Page five of the briefing paper has the outline of the event. You will accede from opposite sides of the stage, you will be naked to start with. You will meet on the bed at center stage, and there you will perform the copulation. ``

'' How the hell am I supposed to fuck an foreigner, her places are not in the rectify home. ``

'' The briefing document pages 20 through 30 covers suggestion on how to go on. Our anthropologists have been studying their rite and customs. There is a large amount of source material for that, their pornography diligence is surprisingly advanced. We can see respective ways in which you might be able to mate with their president. We have suggestions for arousal, the anthropologists are suggesting it is still customary for their males to rent the lead in coitus. However, do n't be surprised if she gives you direction instead. I 'm sure you can care it, sir. ``

The president was now questioning why he got into political relation in the first post. He could have been a simple Fannie Farmer just like his beginner. He carried on studying the briefing paper.

—

Down on the planet, President Rowena Powell was having similar thoughts. She looked at the orange tinted top of her most care for possession. `` Playboy and the Slime God '' it proclaimed, even above the public figure, `` Amazing '', of the magazine. Her uncle Isaac had bought it for her when she was ten, it was already an old-timer then. It had sparked a young missy interest in science and it had put her on the path which after a couple of strange spell brought here here. To be fucked by an alien.

She wanted to know there was no misunderstanding, like the hapless Botax ( the alien protagonist in the title narrative ) had had. She called that being the slime god.

'' We 're totally 100 % positive that this is their usage, they 're not the slime god here ? ``

'' They told us about it in the sixth form. They were very definite about how this was to come about, madam President of the United States '' The alien language had multiple forms, each pattern was used in a different way to pass along shades of meaning. The sixth form was ultra polite, it also conveyed the substance, 'if you do n't agree, we 'll nuke you', so no mistaking their intent.

The language forms the outlander used also made it almost unsufferable to put a gens to them, they themselves called themselves several matter including `` Baorn '', `` Oeblae '' and `` Rohazee ''. Baorn was 6th form, Rohazee was third base, much lupus erythematosus formal. If you used the legal injury one in the wrong circumstances you could originate a war, or regretful. Most of the clock time they were referred to `` our friends from space '', or just `` friends ''. There were a lot of less cultured password for them in common currency as well.

'' So how does their anatomy work again ? ``

'' They 're in transition from quadrupedal to bipedal, not unlike a gorilla. The head parallel is not fully articulated, to a greater extent of a hump. There are several eyes and a mouth. The mouth is only used for feeding, not for respiration. Respiration and address uses the posterior opening. ``

'' You mean they talk through their but ? ``

'' Exactly. ``

'' They must be in force politicians. ``

The science adviser suppressed a chuckle, but continued. `` The mouth also doubles as the sex organs though. The clapper is also a penis. ``

'' The male fucks by going down on the female person ? Sounds well to me. '' Said the president with a giggle.

'' Actually madam chairwoman, the female 's intimate organs are also in her oral cavity. relation is more like french hugging. There is some reference to oral sex, that might be more what you were referring to madam prexy. Though given the divergence in the situation of their mouth and the man vagina, it might look different. ``

'' Like he 's kissing her butt ? ``

'' Precisely gentlewoman President of the United States. ``

—

Rowena walked hesitantly onto the stage, she felt bare. She was naked, but it felt worse than that. Across the leg was the unknown president, he did look like a headless hunchback Gorilla gorilla from this angle. Getting closer she could see that he was hairless, his skin was dark and looked more like a grain leather jacket crown. That was more or less as expected, their sun flooded their planet with much more UV luminosity than earth, a tougher skin was essential for survival.

Even closer she could see the heart around the sensory hump. On their major planet, they were much more heavily shielded against sunshine, with multiple lid. To the alien, even a fountainhead lit TV studio was dark, so all the eyes were fully exposed, respective of them were staring at her.

Finally they were within touching distance, the alien spoke, to Rowena, it sounded like a flatus. The transformation was relayed to her ear bug, `` I 'm very proud of to fit you madam president. ``

Rowena started her prepared manner of speaking, `` I 'm pleased, … '' but did n't get to finish. The alien reached around and hugged her, and kissed her. The hug felt like the extraterrestrial was wearing an exquisitely soft leather jacket, leather was n't Rowena 's fetish, but at this rate she thought she might change her creative thinker. The hug was very sultry. She reached around and hugged back, she could palpate the promiscuous finishing of hair she expected to find.

The kiss was also quite a number on, the extraterrestrial 's tongue slipped into her mouth. Of trend, it was also his phallus and it was erect, she tried to french him, but she found herself giving him a cock sucking. Meanwhile the alien 's other tongues, there were three diminished natural language arrayed around the principal clapper, they also joined in. It was really erotic for Rowena.

The alien reached for her bosom, she found herself getting the most sultry massage. It felt like script clad in the softest calfskin gloves. The alien maneuvered her to sit on the bed, then moved his mouthpiece down to her boob. The prehensile tongue/penis again performed a most sultry massage of her breasts. She lay back on the bed and moaned softly.

Rowena was barely capable of rational thought at that moment, but one thought she had was that these aliens had a time to come tending to earth women like this. She 'd be tempted to sign up for this again. The unknown kissed down her tum, arriving at her pussy. The outlander 's tongue probed, he was in force at this, a natural Rowena though. She sighed and moaned some more, louder this time.

She felt the alien 's tongue/penis pushing at her entering. Simultaneously, the three smaller tongues licked at her clit and pussy lips. The result was too much for Rowena, she came, her moans became thigh-slapper and she trashed around on the bed. The alien raised his buttocks senior high school, and trumpeted a triumphant bellow, it still sounding like a very gaudy fart. Then he came inside her.

—

At the very recently and rapidly constituted authority of outlander social occasion, gull Thomas Augustus Watson was a computational linguist. He was contribution of the team which had built the translator the negotiations had relied on. He was troubled.

As he was discussing his care with is honcho, the TV was playing the coupling of the chairwoman in the backcloth. It was being broadcast around the world. `` So you know about the assorted sort of our friends'language. ``

'' Uh huh. ``

'' I was looking over the translation map, I noticed the tierce and fifth forms cluster very closely in the production quad. That would think of watchword in the tertiary and fifth part human body can be easily confused. This is a phenomena our admirer have noticed themselves. They call them 'third contour jokes'. Something like our punning, but more subtle. The thirdly configuration tends to verbalize cruder concepts, so if you change a fifth form word to a third material body intelligence in a sentence you can end up with a contaminating joke pun. ``

'' That could make life-time hard, can we alter the topology of the map to increase the separation of the forms ? ``

'' That was what I was thinking we want to do, but I was examining the output and I think we 've been translating 'handshake'as 'fuck'by mistake. '' They both looked over to the activity on the screen .