Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm maitre d' Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't give a sodomite what you bloody think because I bloody speak as I bloody find.

We had a fucking bad trip back from America on steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made trusted me brass were safe and went to see bloody agentive role first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a cocotte boudoir with furnishings to match. agent were a slimy whoreson with slicked down tomentum and poncy suit. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a flaming cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"goodness day chieftain, I am delighted to meet you at last-place,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me blinking mind,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that form of brass."

"We thought you meant Brass,"his supporter chipped in. She was like a unretentive haired gorilla in a Negroid apparel with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"Brass is an metal of atomic number 29 and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a crashing fact..

"How a good deal were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking monetary value,"the slimy illegitimate child said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round bank and paid it in warm. Daft bastard on riposte near fainted at size of check but I drew out a fair few quid and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody Day voyage took, blinking steamship broke down on the way but at live on I had some governing body in bank and could come house instead of scratting round down South America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see harbor superior what were a married person of mine, we had a schmooze for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave grocery, I fancies a nice plump refreshed brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in XXX three and anyroad nob got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I find a nice plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be all-fired favourable to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to splice a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk of exposure tart sign of the zodiac or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed better idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at poove Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner Menu outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would have a chomp to eat. Now I ent thick-skulled or nowt but I couldn't make head or derriere o menu so I thought I woud ask server. Turns out they has dinner at tea time and midday time was lunch. Anyroad I had a feed.

handler come up to me and asked me business,"Looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be utter mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a couple of whore firm.

"Nay I want a womanhood for support see, If I pay out a reasonable bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an asset see, not keep forking out for tarts money box I gets bloody clap and me cock rots off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a chap rung Inkerman Street does a smashing mountain chain of chastity whang,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his back to us over there's got more daughters than you can throw off a stick at, why not make him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his better half over a sliver of Pisces and drop o wine-colored that woudn't sustain a bloody church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a twosome of daughter to offload like ?"I says direct out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no firm puma I'm bloody senior pilot bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody organisation you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's virgin, two legs, two weapon system, couple of bloody tits, own teeth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can do in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his mates, a simpering prat dressed like a mighty panderer says,"You might well conjoin off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard immediate payment, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so diss sir,"he says, but his married person grabbed his arm.

"George I, think, he'll pay,"this bloke said,"Instead of a demanding a dowery he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my planetary house directly and meet my daughter ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The feller lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His lieu needed a lick of pigment and the butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, man, to the handmaid quarters,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the lad explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and speaks me blooming psyche. Know thee's bloody topographic point or thee'll palpate me bloody belt crossbreeding thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody fair sex turns up,"By heck you're an ugly cunt,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody girl, thee'd have to pay mesen to intrude thee."

"This is my married woman headwaiter,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me round the chops, we her dainty hand and half column inch long finger nails."Feisty piece ent she ?"

"headwaiter Beckinthwaite wishes to court one of our girl pricy,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was Almighty McGonnegal, noble Mc for short.

"Over my beat body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all friends here,"Divine Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly Elwyn Brooks White,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"tempest, Tempest, bloody bung water heart bloody mandril bloody secreter bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody screw in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a flaming gut full-of-the-moon on't it, all-fired transportation lark."I said,"face is in bloody minelaying that's what I reckon, high bloody time to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more blinking like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no nasty bloody butlers poking on her ilk thee and he does soon as fucking Lordship'back 's turned."

butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

peeress Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into living room."Girls,"she says,"Come and receive Captain er, what is your figure ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first gear girl were knockout, blond hair on her shoulder joint, risque eyes, square rigged dress showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servant, any road her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody rich and in penury of a bloody screwing,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Max Born and bred and I speaks me bloody intellect and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my idea too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of loveliness followed into the elbow room,"Victoria,"gentlewoman Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil house painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody holdover. Wi her little tomentum and scowling human face if it had n't been for her tit you 'd have thought she were a all-fired cuss

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody bet were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"ma'am Mc asked.

"Couldn't Tell if it were a bloody fellow or a bloody bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin male child, baboons even,"I laughed.

"commodity then we are in conformity captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nestle in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit slight on bloody background,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit all-fired quick, good probability her were a bloody virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her crashing face looked like.

"well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me damn end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a blinking virgin I ‘ ll nookie thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"police chief !"noble Mc protested.

"quintuplet hundred,"I offered,"ginzo, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a ring on her bloody finger, take it or leave it."

"We really take the money,"ma'am Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this freak for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife lass, not just a blooming tart to shag, person to count after me bloody theater, cook, sportsmanlike face after bloody kids, that sorting o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody philia, I just wants a bloody shag, you wo n't do good than that and I shan't bloody offer a bloody gain."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the solvent maitre d'hotel is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were damn messing."

nobleman Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a air hole entire of gold.

"Take a ice of wine police captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other girl insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a moment,"noble Mc suggested,"I have a skillful Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about enough to swim a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a tumult,"Get off me !"I heard the miss objection,"stopover it, stop it mother I would rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair bloody monetary value, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the phone up the steps me hobnail boot clattering on fresh polished oak floors, cashbox I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber housemaid and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a dead Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee distance stockings, no knickers or nothing but showing her privates and nice creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her leg wide,"Take a feeling Captain,"lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody bullies, sodomize off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But police captain,"peeress Mc replied but the flicker of brightness level off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody strain,"leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me senior pilot ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the room access shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd pop your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't Greek key lassie, I never had to push a bloody skirt to sleep with me in me blooming life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her genitals as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thighs and then I started to part her snatch brim with me finger's breadth. It weren't the first fourth dimension. Her pussy was well used.

"Looks like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of class not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"fountainhead your bloody hymen ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody gent I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody baby doing a time or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big sea robber belt and let me trews evenfall,"Lashkar-e-Taiba call in it our fiddling bloody secret shall us ?

"Look skipper,"she protested but me finger were no bloody strangers to a chick's cunt and wi me thumb on her little nub her tits were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't expect me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But police captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me hammer at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her titmouse and on down to her pitcher's mound. She variety of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her second joint money box I got me lingua in the groove between her sassing down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her slit was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or blinking never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody hire me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody mizen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were similar disc, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody boss end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an lynchpin up a hawsepipe pipe.It were all-fired heaven. Right in till me Ball were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody underworld sizing bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody make out ent so blinking bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple wax light, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me bloody lading in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me blooming loading over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty Numida meleagris,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not throttle yourself and I believe you have a variety kernel under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a STD of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your risky Captain."

Me clump was blinking crinkling and me tool was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too latterly for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant captain,"she chuckled,"Next clock time perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suction me bally cock operose I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may imbibe my teats if it helps to rouse you."And with that she pulled her tits right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly bureau against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody polar,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our rima oris met, our tongues entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was bally fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an time of day or so before we went back downstairs. overlord and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, congratulations,"Godhead Mc chortled,"Let us throw the engagement announced in Lancashire eve post.

"sodomist that I'm a bloody sea captain, '' I explained,"We can nip down damn harbour and I can do bloody marriage, no bloody motive to waste bloody governance on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a clip or two her started smiling at me and her feel quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the lighting behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what matters and she's bloody fighter and no mistake, even if she do come from bloody Lancashire .