This is a story of casual, unprotected sex, and is a oeuvre of fable. In real life, use a condom, damnit ! undesirable babies, HIV and all sorts of less sexual diseases await the idiot who `` dunk his wick '' or `` rides the rod '' without protection.

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Shooting Blanks : PlentyOfCupid ( MF, cons, oral, impreg, prophylactic )

by Krosis of the Collective

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writer 's Note : This may or may not be based on a true report that may or may not have been emailed to me.

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I sat on the john, trying to get his cum out of me. How could I let this befall ? I was going to get fraught !

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A match of month premature ...

I finished my profile on PlentyOfCupid and reviewed it : female, 35 class old, of medium material body, brunette, no small fry, does n't smoke, looking for a short- or long-run human relationship with a 30-40 year old male. Hobbies : tenting, carte du jour secret plan, movies.

God, I hated trying to sum myself up with a page of tidings. It was like writing up a resume to apply for a job, but at least well-nigh bad Book of Job did n't keep abreast you home, nor did they plough you down based on your looks. Well, at least in my line of work ( veterinary help ).

I saved the Sir Frederick Handley Page and started perusing compatible visibility. Too poor ... has tiddler ... too pretty ( yes, that 's a thing ) ... this one is ... what the ass ? The guy 's profile pic was a exposure of a zany that had been disemboweled. Ugh.

I shut the electronic computer down and went to bed.

-- -

I woke up in the morning ... alone, of class. My fellow of two years had received a job offer to move to Ireland, of all places, and did not engage me with him. Four months had passed, and given that I was n't a very social person I had been single that entire time and I was getting pretty tinker's damn horny !

I checked my email. There was a message from a guy who wanted to tie me up and stick a plume up my ass. I considered it for a moment before deleting it. Ugh.

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Over the next few weeks I would go out with the occasional guy who was n't a creep over the PoC electronic messaging, but we never seemed to hit it off. The subject matter I received ranged from the crass ( `` Hey baby, wan na suck my dick ? '' ) to factual poetry, but by the fourth dimension I messaged that last one rachis he had already closed his score. The skillful unity went fast.

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Another hebdomad went by and I was getting pretty antsy. After being used to almost day-after-day sex, going common cold turkey was not enjoyable. I had to replace the barrage in my vibe every distich of week !

Finally, I spotted `` PaleWriter '', a 39-year-old guy who looked to be in pretty good human body, was attractive ( but not too attractive ), and was in the succeeding Town over, where I worked. Also, no tyke !

I stalked his profile for a bit before deciding to have the initiatory motion myself. But what to typecast ? `` Hey, wan na fuck ? '' My nethers said yes but my brain said no. `` What 's your darling moving picture ? '' Lame.

Finally, I just quickly typed, `` Great grinning '' and hit Send. I instantly regretted that. What the hell on earth was I thinking ? Great grin ? Ugh.

The thing about online dating is that you do n't lie with when someone will get back to you. Some people check their messages a lot, and some not so much. I kept the web site up on the screen and went and fixed myself some dinner.

After eating I found that the guy had replied ! `` Thanks ! '' he said, `` I like your smile too. Where was that motion picture taken ? ``

My master pic was a selfie from when I had visited Europe. I had really enjoyed myself while I was there so it was a literal smile and that pic was my favored. I replied with the details, asking some more about him.

Over the following couple of days we exchanged a dozen message. He was n't much of a camper but he did like circuit card games, and who does n't like movies ? He had no pets but he did like cats, and I had a cat !

It was n't love at first slew, but it looked promising. I suggested we meet at a local java shop the next day. Lady, always foregather an Internet date for the first meter in a public place !

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I recognized him as he pulled into the parking lot driving a blue dodge quality. As he got out of his car I called to him and he paused as his eyes took in all of me.

He was taller than I thought he 'd be, and almost certainly I was myopic than he expected ... I 'd get word that a lot from the men I met online, as my profile pic only showed my face and shoulders. I did n't lie about having an medium build, but my 5'2 soma made me seem ... squatter ? ... than a taller cleaning woman with the Same measurements. The fact that I had large boob did n't help.

However, his face lit up with that large smile and he called my name in greeting. We went into the chocolate store and chatted for a bit.

Again, we did n't hit it off famously, but it was n't bad either. After a bit he suggested going for a walkway around a local anesthetic park and I agreed. I felt pretty well-to-do with him by that spot, so I took a chance.

We chatted some more on the manner of walking. He had a undecomposed sentiency of temper, though corny. We liked some of the same movies, and we suggested some of our favorites to each other.

Soon we were back at our cars. I had n't felt `` the spark '' with him so I said good dark. He looked defeated but took it graciously.

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Another week went by and the pick were slim. Too far away ... bald ... five dogs ? ! Ugh.

Finally, I dropped PaleWriter a crease. Would he like to go to a movie ?

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We watched an activeness thriller but he did n't try to put his arm around my shoulders or cop a look in the dark theater. We chatted for a bit and once he dropped me off at my car I said goodnight and headed home. Another acceptably day of the month ; not bad, but not trade good either.

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Another week of disappointments ( including a guy who looked absolutely zippo like his profile pic encounter me for coffee and proceeding to ignore me while texting ) left me extremely frustrated. I messaged PaleWriter again. dinner party at my space ?

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matter went better this metre. He loved my lasagne and my kitty Panthera tigris liked him. We played some gin rummy and watched some TV, but still no spark. I had decided that after the show ended I would ask him to go home and then I would go to bed, alone once again.

Then I saw it : a dark movement along the skirting board near the TV. A mouse ! Where was tiger ? Nowhere to be seen, of course.

PaleWriter had n't seen the mouse yet, but had turned toward me when I stiffened. He followed my regard and ...

... and the mouse charged ! Or at least it headed in our general direction. I screamed, `` Eee ! ``

PaleWriter was up in a heartbeat, grabbing the candy tin from the incline board, upturning it so its capacity fell onto the floor, and slamming the container over top of the rodent. It was trapped !

'' Do you have something two-dimensional that wo n't bend ? '' he asked. After a few present moment I could strike again and grabbed my cutting instrument panel from the kitchen. He carefully tipped the tin a little, slipped the cutting dining table under the svelte gap, and then slid it forward until the lip of the upside down tin was fully covered by the table. He then lifted the whole matter up ( making me go `` Eee '' again ) and took it over to the back doorway. I opened it up and he went outside.

I closed the threshold behind him and watched through the windowpane. He twisted and then spin out around, tilting the top of the tin toward him as he did and sending the shiner flying out of my railyard with centrifugal force play !

When he got back in the theater I jumped him.

PaleWriter was definitely a lot better in bed than at escort. He went down on me, juicing me up nicely before he slid a condom onto his nice 7 '' dick and fucked me silly with it. I did n't cum -- I usually do n't, requiring a lot of clitoral stimulation -- but it felt good.

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After that he came over pretty practically every day and we fucked every sentence. After a few sidereal day he mentioned that he had had a vasectomy so we really did n't need to use condoms, but he understood that I did n't fuck him that well so he 'd stay on to use them for as hanker as I wanted. I appreciated that.

I let him know that we were n't really a good match but we could have fun for a piece. He seemed okay with that ... what guy would n't ?

He never tried to put his cock in me without a safe on, not even a trivial. This really helped me to trust him. After a few weeks when I visited his place he pointed me to a piece of music of theme on the living way table.

'' It 's from my doctor, '' he said.

My blood line ran cold as I thought about what it could say : `` Genital wart ? HIV positivistic ? '' I picked up the report and read it. `` Lab resultant role : nail evacuation. '' What ?

'' It 's my sperm run from a few weeks after my vasectomy. view you would require to see it, '' he said.

easing washed over me. What an cretin this guy was ! What did he cogitate I was going to think when he told me he had a doctor 's note ? Men.

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Despite the lab account we continued to use prophylactic. By this compass point we had been seeing each other for a couple of months.

One night we went to bed together and I was feeling frisky than common. As he reached for a condom packet I climbed astride his hips and rubbed my pussy back talk on the tip of his bare operose cock.

He looked surprised at this, lying there while holding the safety packet. I managed to get the head of his stopcock between my pussy lips. I was quite wet that nighttime !

'' Um, '' he said, `` rubber ? ``

In answer I pushed my body back harder at his cock. Half of it slipped up inside me. Being almost phobic about getting fraught, I had never actually had sex without a condom before. It felt goodness ! I could actually feel the fondness of his phallus inside me.

He dropped the condom onto the bed next to us and put his hands on my rosehip. His eyes were filled with luxuria, and it only spurred me on. I raised my hips a bit to get the right Angle and then slid all the way down, burying his cock deep inside me. Again I felt the strange, marvelous warmness of his cutis caressing my interior, the sensation no longer deadened by a India rubber sheathe.

I moved on top of him, feeling his shaft glide in and out as I humped this aphrodisiacal man. I could n't believe I had never tried unprotected sex before, not even during my period when it was safest. I had been missing out ! It felt so good !

His hands moved to my boobs, his digit lightly pinching my tit. He was pretty just with his hands. I increased my tempo.

'' I 'm getting close, '' he warned me.

I felt my nipples harden under his fingers when I heard that. I continued to bounce.

His eyes roamed my body as I rode him. This was so fucking hot !

'' I 'm gon na cum. ``

Bless him ! Even now, right when to the highest degree men would n't wish, he was warning me so I could sneak off and put the condom on him.

I trusted him, and I was really fucking horny. I got my face close to his and slid up and down on his cock even faster. I could experience his cock start to puff up inside me.

'' I 'm ... cumming ! '' he called out, and I pressed my sassing to his, kissing him passionately as I felt his pecker throb deep inside me.

A warm, wet sensation filled me where I had never felt anything like it before. In my thinker 's eye I saw his hard cock spurting hot, ashen semen deep inside me. At that cerebration I came, hard.

'' U-uhhhh ! '' I gasped into his mouthpiece. My pelvic girdle pressed down, my ripe, ready consistency trying to get his tool as far inside me as possible as his cum flooded my depths.

I heard him grunt and his cock throbbed late inside me again and again. I continued to cum, my consistence urging the warm nub deeper inside my unsounded reproductive system.

Finally we both stopped cumming and I collapsed onto his chest of drawers, gasping.

After a dyad of transactions my judgment started to work again, and then I realized what I had just done, and why I had been so horny, so weak minded as to chance having unprotected sex. I was ovulating ! Also, being in my mid-30 's, my organic structure 's biological clock was ticking very loudly, and I had n't been able to tune it out this time.

I pulled off of his cock and rushed out of the room, heading for the bathroom. I sat on the toilet, trying to get his cum out of me. How could I let this bechance ? I was going to get meaning !

After a spell I could n't get any more than of his cum out of me and I had calmed down enough so that I could return to bed. He was already asleep. Typical.

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The future day I told him how care I had been that I was going to get pregnant. He just gave me a wry smile and reminded me that there was no way that could pass off because he was shooting blanks, but if I was uncomfortable or timid then we 'd maintain using condoms.

What a great guy !

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The next night I practically tore his clothes off instead of watching TV on the couch.

He pulled my jeans and step-in off and asked if I wanted him to grab a condom. I was still ovulating, and combining that, my ticking biological clock, and my renewed corporate trust in him, I said no.

He was all ready to go, easily sliding his hard, unprotected cock into my fertile wet pussy once more. I again marveled at the feeling of skin on skin as his fantastic hot cock filled me up.

This meter was a speedy, hard fuck on the keep room floor. He rammed into me again and again, faster and faster. I could feel an orgasm rising from deep within me, just needing one affair to set it free ...

He grunted, thrusting his stopcock hard and holding it as deep as possible inside me as he came. As I felt his hot cum stir into the essence of my being I cried out, my dead body shaking in orgasm, which was amazing because normally I needed to play with my button to cum. But prior to the previous night I had never had a man cum inside me unprotected. It was fantastic !

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We never used a rubber again. We would fuck practically every night, and every time he left his cum soaking deep inside me.

When my period arrived I was relieved. Even with the trust I had placed in my `` make out buddy '' there was a minor part of me that was afraid that I was being played. With the arrival of `` Aunt Flo '' all my remaining doubtfulness disappeared.

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Over the following month we continued to fuck like rabbits. I rode him in his bed one weekend afternoon and he fucked me from behind when we had a rain shower to clean up afterwards. For an elder guy he had some stamina !

Weekdays, weekends, even Hallowe'en. He fucked me against a wall, lifting my enchantress costume 's doll and sliding his hard cock into me again and again until we both came.

I orgasmed pretty often every time he shot his stuff into me. My body loved the feeling of that warm up center deep inside, some substructure instinct tricked into thinking it was getting the clobber that makes baby even though my brain knew that was n't what was happening. At some brute level we were n't witting of, our dead body were trying to make a babe together.

When I started to ovulate again I suggested we spend the full weekend in bed. He must have filled me with his cum a 12 times over that weekend, and I orgasmed hard every time.

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'' The locoweed is always greener on the early side, '' they say, and I still considered PaleWriter and myself to not be a skilful match. The sex was dandy, but that 's not all that makes a kinship, you know ?

I had kept my PoC account open, and about a week later I had been contacted by a rather handsome fella. I informed PaleWriter that I was breaking things off with him, and reminded him that we had agreed that it was only impermanent. He understood and did n't fence or anything. What a courteous guy ! If it did n't work out with this new feller I 'd get PaleWriter back.

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My adjacent period was late but I did n't really think there was an progeny until another couplet of workweek had passed. I bought a pregnancy test and it confirmed that I had been knocked up ! I had n't had sex with the new guy yet so it had to have been PaleWriter !

I texted him and he replied saying he was out of town but there was no way I could be pregnant from him. I told him it had to be his and he said he 'd text me when he got back in a few days.

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5 Day passed with no contact from PaleWriter. I called him but it said his phone number was out of serving ? ! I had a bad feeling.

I jumped in the car and rushed over to his place. Sure enough, his townhouse had a For split sign in front of it. I called the proprietor of the property but they said they could n't tell me where PaleWriter had gone because he had n't even severalize them !

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I never found him. I 'm sitting here now, Tiger lying across my growing belly, purring. I 'm pro-choice but I would never have an abortion myself.

35 and meaning, and after the maternalism leave I 'll have to drop out my job to take tutelage of the baby. Fucking shucks !

peeress, do n't just consider men when they say they 've had a vasectomy. Apparently it 's really tardily to fake a medical report, and the pleasance of fucking unprotected just is n't worth the consequences.

It had been really hot, though ...