The Upper Floof



I was minding my own business in my club, on the speed story you understand, the one reserved for gentleman's gentleman. I was relaxing after dinner, reading the evening newspaper. Whiling away the sentence until supper, It was the year the Titanic sank, 1912.

Leather chairs and oak control board, the olfactory property of baccy heavy on the air, talk of the Kaiser and of impending war were rife around the table as our hostesses catered to our every need.

Milly, molly, Moira, Melissa, Mary, their names all started with an M. They looked quite overmodest despite uniforms cut to assure their charms were always displayed. Neatly corseted waists with their knocker upthrust yet bared and unrestrained. Tight melanise jacket with silver push button cut to slip under their pouting mammaries. The area below their waists entirely bare but for the tape holding their stockings. Their soft downy os pubis neatly trimmed or shaved.

Au Nipple and Clitoris pack twinkled in the firelight. Pisces net stocking with seams arrow straight set off pale elegant thighs and calves while their varicoloured toe nails peeped from elegant high-pitched heeled shoes. Neat minuscule rabbits tail attached to trivial fire hydrant pressed firmly up their pissed bed and all set off by jaunty little lid with necklaces rings and earrings dripping with jewels. And all ready to do each and any service we may require.

The flotsam and jetsom of the gutter attired like princesses.

Their servicing were provided all inclusive to the membership of the upper floor of the nightspot. Mouth, back passage and womb alike available to any member's fellow member and all bar mouth available to a members finger or tongue though of grade shows of affection such as kissing upon the mouth were not allowed

They worked in relay race, obviously Milly Molly et al were not their real public figure, but we no more cared who they were than they cared who we were. A crooked finger, a gesture and they would saunter across and if indicated would straddle us and simply sink down upon our members. Or suckle a limp Snake River to rigidness, or impart an ice frigidness beer or liqueuras our whimsy dictated..

Sometimes they got it wrong, one older gentleman admitting,"Ye gods I only wanted a whiskey,"as Malia extracted his member from his fly and began to suck.

But enough backcloth detail, back to this most especial evening.


"Oldbury, where are you ?"one of my chums asked.

"Here ? Why ?"I replied.

"Need another damned tomfool to play cards,"he said drunkenly.

"At your service,"I agreed and taking my whiskey I dutifully went across and sat at the table.

The game was salamander, baseball club rule, Aces High.

Millie the croupier smiled, as she waited to deal the cards. Her left quarter round rested within the folds of her quim pleasuring herself as all the young lady were instructed to do while idling. Her bared white meat with golden rings swung alluringly to and fro as she rocked gently to her own rhythm as she quietly drifted into a reality of her own as she frigged herself towards orgasm.

"Teddy's in a pip of botheration,"Simmonds gloated.

"Bet his damned house and lost !"Jimmy Carter laughed.

"And ?"I enquired.

"I don't need a damned house,"Clearwater sighed,"Bit of a sod really."

"So lets us get this straight, you won Teddy's theatre and don't want it ?"I queried.

"Absolutely, rotting pile,"he agreed.

"So give it back,"I suggested.

"Not that soft old chum salmon, Club rules."Simmonds pointed out,"Needs outside player to win it then Teddy can win it back do you see ?"

"You're a bloody fool slip,"I said, as looked at the broken shell of a man that fifty years of idling imbibing and play had created."Deal me in."

Teddy, 4th Earl of Latchmere, Lord GlenAvon and various early titles was several sociable classes above my lowly place yet many K of French Guinea poorer.

I may deliver been brought up as the local anesthetic parson's son but t'was well known I was the Almighty of the manor house's bastard and had his guile and business acumen. As well as a talent for cards.

I looked at my cards.

"I'll bet two shillings,"Clearwater said throwing shimmy's bill for the theatre on the table.

"I'll wage increase all in,"I said and Clearwater folded.

I took the note.

"Thank God !"teddy sighed.

"Not so fast,"I insisted,"I fear you need to learn a lesson, what collateral shall you pop the question ?"

Teddy looked aghast,"I have none."

"Three unmarried daughter,"Simmonds laughed.

"Very well offer one as your stake,"I insisted.

"good god man, don't be an oaf,"teddy snapped.

"well sir I am a bastard by birth, though hardly an oaf,"I suggested,"Which child shall you offer ?"

"Oh very well Hilary my youngest."he agreed reluctantly and somewhat drunkenly.

"The one maudlin who never smiles,"Clearwater enquired.

"Maybe old Oldbury here will make out a grin into her !"Simmonds laughed.

"Hardly, I shall sell to Madame to defray my expenses,"I explained.

"Turn my daughter into a whore. Never !"Teddy protested.

"Well I shall earmark ten days to countermand the house."I offered.

"Now don't be hasty, Oldbury,"Clearwater interjected,"Don't be an oaf just fold."

"No Teddy needs a example,"I insisted,"I'll exchange my business firm for the daughter whom I shall sell to madame as a whore."

"Done !"grinned slip,"Never has a man made such a poor bargain !"

I went back to my chair a job well done and a moral learned.

Clearwater sought me out,"Teddy rigged you,"he confided,"That daughter, Hilary, have you met her ? She came out, what, two age ago, not so practically as a saltation let alone a dallience, tis said she sips at the spring of Lesbos, and I truly believe far from paying for her charms you would sustain to pay any self respecting chap to fuck her,"

"I just wanted to teach the old tomfool a lesson, '' I explained,"If this so called girl is indeed nineteen summers gone then I'll just let the matter quietly drop, have a few Whiskeys and forget it. ``

But I had not reckoned with the redoubtable young woman Hilary.

She came to my mansion at noon, I was still in my jammies working at my desk.

Blessed Virgin my maid came to attempt me,"There's some woman downstairs who reckons she's your whore."

"What ?"I demanded.

"Hilary something or other."Mary suggested and the aforesaid Hilary fit upon us.

"Father says he sold me to you as your plaything,"she insisted as she stormed into the room.

I stared, she was as far from a harlot as one could reasonably get in a female. I would assert she was wise from forking the droppings from the sawbuck stalls. Her hairsbreadth was a mess where it spewed out from her riding hat, her clothes a filthy brownness coat and bark tight riding britches. Her face screwed with anger and hatred.

"No,"I corrected her."As a woman of the street, a movable to be used and abused by any as desires it for a modest fee,"

"What !"she snapped.

"A whore to be available to any gentleman who desires her,"I insisted."That was our agreement. Though desirous gentleman's gentleman may be scarce as your physiognomy would scare a hale tribe of Zulus let alone a shy civilised gentleman."

"Ha, so no more of this meaninglessness,"she snorted,"I submit to no man."

"Submit to none indeed,"I surmised,"I would suggest that on the contrary you are in urgent, nay immediate indigence of a phone pronging."

"Well sir it shall not be from you."she snapped.

"madam a yard Guinea would not induce me to prong you,"I said flippantly.

"Good, we are agreed,"she agreed.

"So I shall have to pay some guttersnipe or urchin to do the human activity in my stead, More expense,"I said shaking my forefront in resignation.

She went to take up me. I caught her wrist an in no more from her raking my case with her long filthy finger nails.

She stank of horses, a strangely earthy smell which raised question in my loins.

"You madam need taming,"I insisted.

"wellspring it shall not be by you !"she snapped indignantly.

I thought a here and now before I replied."Disrobe this inst or secern your begetter to vacate my house forthwith."

"No you can not !"she replied in horror.

"Submit or the concord is invalidate !"I challenged.

She stared at me. She shuddered as she realised my resolve.

"Very well,"she said icily and she slipped off her heavy coat.

I hung it on the binding of a chair for her as she tentatively undid one of the buttons on her bodice, than a second.

Her fingerbreadth trembled, with veneration or angriness I knew or cared not. The button parted and the bodice swelled. Clearly her mounds were much constricted. It caught my attention. My member stirred again.

"Quite delightful allow me,"I said softly as I helped to disengage her pitcher's mound and cupped them in my helping hand,"It must be such a reliever for them to break loose their bonds."

"No !"she said wide eyed but I knew in that jiffy that she was ripe for the taking. Her teats stiffened and extended.

"cocotte's cumulation are ever freed, shall you like that ?"I asked.

"No !"she snapped though her resolve was uncertain.

"swinging as free as the birds. And their cunts, open at all times or plugged with thumb or dildo,"I said in a hoarse menacing whisper."Available to all."

"Do not frivol with me !"she said.

Madonna my maid looked on disapprovingly, she was no peach, well past child bearing age but she had a pleasant decent ass to get laid when naught else was offered.

"shears Mary, let us skin the rabbit."Mary obediently fetched the large scissors or lowly shear from the draftsman in the position table.

I made an incision into the leggings one-half way up Hilary's thigh and started to cut away the natural covering. She near froze in fear. A I cut up one leg round the crotch and down the other. Then a single curving cut upwards towards the waist and back down revealing her underwear as the pother of fabric fell away.
three more snips from the razor incisive blades and the underthings came away and revealed a mass of hairy moist curls and beneath a hairy moistened cunt. My phallus showed a distinct interest group and he uncurled uncomfortably within the bottleneck of me breeches.

"Do you know I think I will bed you after all."I declared."Virgin Mary loosen my belt and lower my breech if you please."

The Virgin reluctantly lowered my knee pants and underthings allowing my member to stiffen and straighten as I pushed Hilary against the table.

"guidebook my member in Blessed Virgin if you please."I requested.

"It ent fair, she don't want none and gets fucked and I wants it and don't get none,"Virgin Mary muttered as she obediently guided my stiffening member towards Hilary's pouting quim.

"Later,"I suggested as my phallus gently parted Hilary's pouting cunt lips.

"No !"she said but he body said"Yes yes yes,"such was her indigence for shaft and turncock juice.

I felt no immunity from her maidenhead, but there were streaks of red afterward so I presume she had been virgo intacta and I enjoyed a distinctly middling extend though at an unexpected metre of day, finishing with a fanfare or at least nine just spurts of honorable low Born rooster juice in her aristocratic vagina.

"Blessed Virgin for divinity sake bathe this urchin before we take her to Madame."I ordered as I withdrew.

"What about my component part ?"she protested.

"I am afraid you will have to use the rolling pin,"I suggested,"But this time wash it before rolling out the pastry."

She blushed crimson,"Very well sir."she agreed.

"Or perhaps you could cause this whore learn how to use her fist ?"I suggested with a wink.

Hilary jerked back to reality, her torso may have swum with inflammation but now she faced realism, instead of honey she had been fucked as a pass clock time. I had no more desire for her to drop my offspring than I had to dance the Viennese waltz stark naked at the logic gate to Buckingham palace while they changed the guard. I had used her no more. And she had used me.

"Go, get washed,"I said,"I have work to do."

I found Hilary and Mary an time of day or so later. The tin bath was upended on the kitchen floor.
Bathwater spread across the level towards the drain. Hilary lay naked on the flag as she suckled Mary's massive nipple and rhythmically pressed her fist into Marys voluminous puss. Madonna only ever wore a mere smock and she too was near nude as her gaberdine was largely around her neck.

"I shall bite these tabloid,"I said as I scooped up Hilary's apparel, but she and Mary were too absorbed with each former to notice.

Brabbinger my Ostler coughed. He had been watching from the phantasm."The offspring lady's horse sir ?"he queried.

"She's no Lady, she's a base bawd,"I replied as I watched Hilary pleasuring Mary,"Shall you take a laggard ?"

"No thank you kindly sir,"he said diffidently."I got my pride sir."

"fountainhead I just poked her,"I said,"master knows why."

"chicane they has sir, Virginia reel you in like,"he says,"Me I likes horses."

figure raced through my intellect,"Quite so."I agreed,"Feed and water the horse would you, no send Son to my club, have a uniform sent and a comforter, take the cocotte's horse."I laughed at my own relapse into verse,"whore's knight"indeed.

There is only a finite time one can look out fair sex pleasuring each other especially untempting unity, so after no Thomas More than seven min, twelve at the extraneous, I went about my business.

Brabbinger returned within the half hour with missy Middleton, one of Madame's toilet table, a weasel faced flat chested beldame of around thirty five summers and XXX thousand men, a street whore with nimble finger's breadth an eye for beauty and a natural endowment for fitting girdle, stockings shoe and tail jade as well as the artists touch which with rouge and powder turns the dullest scullery maid or fattest James Cook into an object of desire.

"Oh my lord, you want a miracle worker and thats a fact,"Middleton said as she saw Hilary embraced in Mary's well muscled arms.

"Less of your gall, bend over I wish to fuck you,"I averred.

"Not if you been fucking that you ent, I got my pride,"Middleton said icily.

She set down her bag and took out a tub of butter. Greasing her finger's breadth and flick she advanced upon Hilary even as she continued to pleasure Mary and grasped her firmly, one thumb pressed firmly up Hilary's back transit and the fingers into her quim.

"Ooh,"Hilary gasped.

"I reckon a two inch up her ass and a three up her quim,"Thomas Middleton opined as she withdrew her fingers and wiped them on a cloth,"twenty dollar bill three in waistline, its like making a silk wedding dress out of a pigs ass,"she said sadly.

"Have some decorum adult female !"I snapped.

"Well you ain't no gentleman are you ?"she challenged.

I gave up and walked off.

An hour later and Thomas Middleton sought me out,"I done me unspoiled,"she said.

Hilary appeared,"My god she looks almost human,"I agreed,"What say you Brabbinger ?"

My ostler was lurking in the trace as always. Feasting his middle on Hilary's now ringed button and shaved pubes now framed by stocking tapes and her ringed teats now upthrust by a besotted Black person corset.

"Don't judgment if I do sir,"he said as he swept from the shadows.

He strode up to the girl and raised his gabardine revealing suddenly fat hairy branch and a foresightful fat hairy prong, I'll wager there was to a greater extent hair on his balls than on a Rabbi's chin.

I only wanted his accord that she looked desirable butbhe obviously decided to misunderstand me and to sample her appeal instead.

He grasped her firmly and in a heartbeat was Hilary pushed against the subject field tabular array and he sank his prong within her sonant moist quim. His haired ass bobbled up and down and in and out as he thrust his monster forcibly into her womb.

She barely protested. Her parts were aroused by the rings and the potions applied to her innards by Thomas Middleton's nimble fingers.

"Oh my lord !"she wailed,"I am in Heaven !"

Now to be quite dependable there is niggling as dis spiriting as finding one's handmaiden has a prong unquestionably superior to one's own both in length and girth and get-up-and-go, and I turned on my hound and strode away after no Sir Thomas More than ten minutes at the outside.

The way he kneaded her breasts and crushed her sass with his lips was quite repulsive, while the way she raked his back with her nails was quite uncalled for and the oink and protest of dearest was such to make me nauseous.

Finally as I departed he grunted like a pig and clearly shot his bolt.

"wellspring done !"Middleton shouted,"bravo, who knows we may make Madame proud of you yet !"

I sat a patch and returned to recover Hilary attired in a cloak. which hid her share. I saw she walked awkwardly.

"Finished already ?"I asked Middleton.

"Yes sir, Got her gob plugged and everything."she replied.

"show me."I insisted.

"No !"Hilary snapped,"You don't own me."

"Show the gentleman,"Middleton insisted.

Hilary reluctantly raised the cloak showing a stout leather shoulder strap secured around her crotch which clearly held quim and anal chaw in place.

"Open her up I wish to try her,"I ordered.

"Not now after I perfumed and plugged her and everything,"Thomas Middleton argued."You had every opportunity sir and if you desire you can fuck her to your inwardness subject matter this eve but for now I must deliver her to Madame before my special man arrives."

"Special valet ?"I queried.

"Has me piss on him,"she said proudly, and seeing my discomfiture she added"Well you did ask."

"Oh be gone,"I sighed.

I followed along to the nightclub later, after fending off James Cook'suggestions that her ass was as blind drunk as anyone's puss, something demonstrably untrue, and by dinner party fourth dimension I was gorging myself on saltiness pork and onion plant washed down by some of the finest wine from the Antipodes.

Hilary was nowhere to be seen when I arrived. It seemed she had become something of a celebrity and every gentleman seemingly had designs on poking her quim.

I decided they could get on with it and settled down to eat my fill.

However seeing Lord Glenavon, Hilary's father get in rather the worse for drunkenness gave me an vicious notion which I proceeded to put in train.

"shimmy won't you join me ?"I asked as he staggered by,"motive a third for a threesome, new whore need breaking in don't cha know."


"What ho, yes rather, three way eh, top hole."he stammered out his usual string of cliches and sat down at my table. Milly molly or some such brought Teddy a phonograph record of pork barrel and he began to guzzle on it greedily.

Hilary had seemingly metamorphosed into Melissa, a bright red ball gag now flilled her mouth, a exonerated signaling of what we called a screecher. A bawd who could not prevent herself vocalising her enjoyment.

I sought out Madame. I swiftly arranged to use Hilary/Melissa as soon as she became available.

Teddy was about to start on his apple pie when Madame brought Hilary over.

He barely showed any interest but ordered."Capital, just straddle me dame and let me ease your quim while I eat my pud there's a dear."He unbuttoned his knee breeches and extracted his rather woebegone tired and uninterested cock from therein.

It sprawled almost lifeless along his belly but it reared soon enough as Hilary straddled him and sank down until her diffused pink quim rested gently upon his length.

It reared like an American-Indian language snake charmer's serpent, a veritable python. Spearing upwards towards her innards. It seemed quite eccentric. Teddy about to jazz his own girl unknowingly.

He reached down and aimed his cock between the lips of her quim. She raised herself then sank down with a contented sigh and a slight dribble from her ball gag. Then she began to get laid greedily.

slip laughed,"Bally gamekeeper, spitting image of the sod, cuckolded d'ya see ?"He explained,"Never was me girl, should have fucked her years ago."

I shook my head, I had been bamboozled again."Going to wax on ?"shift asked,"payoff the tradesman's, three way and all that ?"

"Ah no, I just remembered I have to see old Graithwaite about some business,"I said as Hilary bounced up and down far too energetically on her supposed father's peter and I left them to their joyous union.

I cursed, far from teaching Teddy a lesson I had learned one myself. I rued my discomfiture and made my way homeward.

James Cook hounded me once more seeking a pronging which I was not in any mood to allow for so I retired to my bed somewhat torment and slept only fitfully.

The daybreak brought further tribulations.

Hilary's onetime sister. A weasel faced, wasp waisted spinster completely devoid of distaff appendages or so it seemed she arrived at some ungodly hr when no gentleman's gentleman or gentlewoman should be abroad and demanded to see me.

Cook relayed the information that she was downstairs. I looked at my watch."Ye gods its sole ten of the clock !"I protested.

"Shall I send her up sir ?"Cook asked,"Or shall you bang my ass first ?"

"No, I think I can manage without,"I answered,"I shall follow down straightway."

"wagerer put thee britches on low gear,"she laughed.

"No, damn it, I shall descend as I am,"I insisted and down I went in my nightshirt to greet the woman.

"Miss Latchmere ?"I queried.

"Rip van periwinkle I presume ?"she replied as she saw I wore only my nightshirt and night hat.

"And what brings you here ?"I asked.

"My horse,"she replied sarcastically,"But to be honest I wanted to see exactly what sort of a fool my father has been conniving with."

"And have you seen ?"I asked.

"Oh yes,"she replied,"You surpass my mop up expectations by some considerable margin."

"rich person you merely come to affront me or had you some other purpose in mind ?"I asked.

"Actually,"she said,"I have, you humiliate my father, prostitute my sister and deflower my opportunity of making a good marriage."

"You certainly have a bluntness of speech about you,"I admitted.

"And now having tricked me into your den you ravish me,"she suggested.

"ma'am I should sooner fornicate with a farmyard sow,"I insisted.

"So I understand,"she said,"But I do trust the police constable will believe my tale when I scream and say how you tore my clothes and sought to ravish me."

"Really ?"I queried as she tried in vain to tear her clothes."Allow me."

I grasped the shoulders of her dress and it ripped right down the nominal head, I ripped aside the book binding of her agglomerate freeing them,"Remind me, did I ravish you or merely attempt to ?"

"I care not, wee me an offer or I go to the magistrate !"she snapped

"twenty shillings for your honour !"I offered.

"I meant marriage ceremony,"she said,"Dear god are you really this stupid ?"

"Stupid yes heroic no,"I confirmed,"Though your teats are most alluring and are roused if I am not mistaken."

"You are mistaken,"she insisted.

"Your parts are not moistened then ?"I queried.

"No Sir Thomas More than yours,"she quipped.

I looked down. My extremity was pressing my nightshirt out like a collapsible shelter pole.

"I have not had my dawn, ah."I said awkwardly.

"He fucks me ass mostly,"Cook interjected.

"Cook, '' I snapped"Go away !"

"Hilary said it was tiny,"Miss Latchmere observed,"But it looks monstrous !"

I sighed,"Shut your rattle and lay for me, then you can record the magistrate your lacerate apparel and a good creaming within your parts."

"Very well, where is the bedchamber ?"she asked.

"Here on the floor !"I insisted.

"No, bed me, if you want me bed me properly !"she insisted.

"Oh very well,"I sighed in exasperation and I swept her off her feet and carried her upstairs.

How was I to make love it was the most romanticistic gesture she had ever known ? The poor girlfriend's quim was soaking with anticipation and in a moment as soon as had bared it my prong had found a new home.

Her tight virgin twat gripped my member."brand honey to me !"she pleaded.

"This madam is merely a round-eyed roll in the hay,"I explained as I started to jazz her,"Though I own a very consonant one."

"Oh that makes me feel so overnice,"she said and she smiled.

"Really ?"I queried,"Usually women ask if I have finished yet, or make some sarcastic remark."

"No, its really nice, oh my god, its really nice."she said as the bulwark of her virgin cunt instinctively began to milk my cock.

It was all too much and suddenly a great violent stream of seed scene from my lumbus and flooded her entirely.

I lay until I was spent and my member shrank and them rolled onto my binding."Do your worst,"I said and drifted into a content sleep.
"shoot it in your paw like thus,"I heard James Cook saying as somebody gripped my shaft in their hand,"He ent much of a cocksman, one spurt wonderment,"Cook opined,"Still a bit of a suck will probably rouse him."

"What's up ?"I said.

"Damned police constable thinks I'm my sister and that I'm a whore,"girl Latchmere explained.

"So you are trying conquest ?"I queried.

"In a Son, yes."she agreed.

"You are an ageing weasel faced flat chested spinster, why should I take note of hand of you ?"I asked.

She thought a present moment"Because my firstborn boy child shall inherit father's title, should you not like your son to be the Earl Latchmere, the 5th Baron Latchmere ?"

"And ?"I queried.

She thought a moment."My sis is a whore and she can pass away on all manner of whorish tricks to keep you satisfied in the bed chamber."

"Good point,"I agreed,"On your back I wish to lie with you again."


To be continued.

Or would you like Sir Thomas More taradiddle from the upper floor ?