I arrived at Allerton manor hall unannounced, dressed in the classic way of a shoot down Gentleman while riding in a tolerably ache posture pulled by a matched pair of Lady Jane Grey, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devonshire who had become my acquaintance masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's Samuel Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His Grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then direct me pray, '' I requested, in as supercilious personal manner as I could muster.

'' In the Ithiel Town sir, Allerton, in the square sir, at the whipping sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rights he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the Lady Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the lash and Forth River we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to retain ownership of my ridiculously tall hat..

'' I could get a taste for this Saint John the Apostle ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that moment we shaved a gatepost by a hair, `` better than minelaying, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as moneymaking, '' I laughed, `` And not as safe with your driving, you better let me drive ! ``

We changed places and also changed coats and hats and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a good lap and swung into the lame, thank god Barrington was alert because a hum mass of humanity confronted us and if he had not thrust the sprag through a steering wheel there should have been carnage for we should never have stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a hanging in Bodmin in August, for a great wooden level had been set up against the Red lion alehouse across from St Agnes church service the whole market square was packed with all classes and upon that stage a serving wench was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her gown or slip ripped from her and dangling from the string around her shank and her masked leather clad tormentor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to avoid his blows by turning away he struck her shapely let out breasts and the nipple thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her mitt were manacled and uselessly chained together and the range of mountains tied to a senior high beam high above her oral sex which served to hold her so she could do zero but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist atomic number 26 from which a trail of blood seeped already.

The gang were transfixed and so fixed in their tending that they paid us no heed but I supposed that a public whipping was the tallness of their season, and all classes were exhibit, merchandiser and peasant, prole and magnanimousness indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating set up for the purpose, the Lord Billy Graham, his son, by his position and the Lady Phillipa his younger girl with them, but I looked in vain for the peeress Catherine.

'' We 'll tether the sawhorse and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the carriage through a T turn and tethered the team outside the Dragon Inn.

The maid was nada but a limp and bloodied hole when I returned, and his adoration Mr Justin Duncan James Corrow Grant the jurist of the Trentham court of assize was mounting the steps to the level, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled concourse, `` His grace Earl Howard told me to use the law in its broad personnel, and here you see I shirked not my responsibleness, and I commend and command that three months hence you shall tack together again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for breath, `` Note well that when I exercised lenity by refraining from having the wench transported to the antipodes, I was determined that punishment should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen punishment ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a murmur, `` Have you seen that I justice Duncan James Corrow Grant am a man of my countersign and all are equal in my court, that the downhearted maid and highest Lady can ask equality of treatment ? '' he demanded. There was a murmur of approval. `` That the peeress Catherine II received no preference when she abused her trust and stole a trinket, as she called it, one that should cost a handmaid five years toil ? ``

It hit me like a sleigh hammer, the serving wench was the Lady Catherine, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six months has she toiled in the athletic field and six more shall she travail, '' he shouted, `` I offered lenity should she confess as you all heard, but she will not admit her guilt feelings, will not confess, will not apologise and without contrition there can be no mildness, no easy life as a theater handmaid so shall she continue as the lowest farm young woman until the after one twelvemonth and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labours for her father to renounce, I suggest she may birth found the antipode preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his part rising to a crescendo, `` Thou shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The girl you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my ears and eyes, `` That 's Catherine. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine the Great was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a stealer, I could scarce conceive it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my eyes beautiful, though her whisker was no longer neatly cut and her cheek were now not painted but naturally cherry-red and her shoulders firmed and muscled, and then as the ropes were cut and she fell and sprawled in the grunge so her chemise fell away revealing an iron chastity belt.

A bully laugh arose and clash Catherine from her stunned immobility and she grabbed her torn smock around her, despairing to preserve the modesty that in verity was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her tears had run dry until just the tear caterpillar track remained in the filth of her face.

'' That 's your miss ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a knockout ! ``

'' Do n't jest, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really skillful. ``

I realised she had an iron collar around her neck and she was taken down from the stagecoach and chained barefoot behind a droppings cart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' Find Catherine, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slow up and terrible process, but by and by we made progress until at distance the hick riding the cart saw we were no threat to them and pulled Catherine II aboard so the Ox could go along at its best gait which in all satinpod was no better than when Catherine had been staggering behind.

Its finish was his Lordship piggery, set away from the main house and farm because of the olfactory perception it was a low stone built building with a stone tile roof on woodland, and there in the mud and filth lived his lordship 's pigs, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine chained as she was to an iron in the rampart which I noted his Lordships agentive role fastened her chemical chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your interest here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most queer as to why the Lady Catherine is so toughened. ``

'' She 's no Lady ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the rest, '' he said and he tore away the last of her wearing apparel leaving her naked, `` She 'll get passel of pigwash come morn and she can enjoy a lifespan of ease, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` Most certainly, respectable day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` Drop me at my founding father 's and take the pram. ''

I directed him the way to my fathers small abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking meadows and pastureland my Father-God pretended to the world that he owned, yet sadly such was not the case, indeed there was a metre in my youth when my begetter spoke to me earnestly, `` John, '' he said, `` You are the sometime son of a mo son, you have a trade good public figure but no fortune, so my son it is for you to create your own fortune, shall you bring together the Militia, the Admiralty, the church building ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No Fatherhood, '' I had answered `` I shall be an venturer and travel the world in search of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And wed a princess ? ``

'' No the Lady Catherine of Aragon. '' I said proudly, though in verity at that time I had barely rally two dozen words with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's daughter ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my lord what a thought ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my Education Department and I attended Salford University and studied geology and chemistry and the way to base purity of the precious metals with an eye to seeking atomic number 79 prospecting and so by degree my breeding progressed until with a loanword from father that he could ill afford I bought transit to Mexico.

I had a final summer at rest home, a abbreviated go of saltation and fiesta, and I saw the Lady Catherine of Aragon often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not entertainment but a rich suitor to woo her, but for the while my troupe sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor nowadays and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to clear a chance in the New humans and wed Catherine the Great sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not intend to recall penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with investment firm or not at all that is my intention. ``

'' Then do not deflect Catherine, you amuse her, but she has but a short-change season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the Greater London time of year starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not trouble her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea sickness afflicted me and it was a with child relief when we hit a gale off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for haunt, and once ashore cypher would rush me to speculation to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

thus it was with mild neutrality that begetter watched Barrington repulse the posture up to our house and then he watched in astonishment as I descended, only to view its disappearance when I had unloaded my own baggage as house that it was as a mere rider in a hire transfer rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was mother that rushed to greet me, `` John where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your fortune ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fortune of a thousand punt and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver grey, '' I said.

'' In the United States of America 's ? '' Father asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passage to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under Captain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open Ocean I was rendered incapable with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships reef and had to gimp into Newlyn for stamping ground cipher would induce me to speculation to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' Father replied, `` Did I not tell you that as the previous son of a second son, you have a good gens but no fortune, and to create your own fortune by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an adventurer and travel the world in search of gem. ``

'' Then it 's a with child pity you found none such. '' he added.

'' Well Church Father I worked the wheal Claire mine, Captain Trelawney 's Brother 's mine and found silver. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out lead seams and gave directions, just above the water he said, and there it was a thin crease and I started on my own with a peck axe and a big money of candela, and I recognised the silver medal bearing ore and mash my own rock and roll by cd light source, and made my own back breaker using my education to the full phase of the moon and dissolved the silver from the crushed rock and cast my own flatware block of metal, but the nervure was not extensive, too lean to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch slot in the rock'n'roll and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the suggestion to him. ''

'' His old aspect turned into a grin, '' I explained, `` He named a price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver wrinkle clean as late as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our hoarded wealth to Truro piece by man moulded and cast into ingots and had it 's purity confirmed and marked to prove it was indeed silver and as an divagation we made halo and trinkets by selective casting and we travelled the jewellers selling fallal rings and pieces of atomic number 47 and with the proceeds I paid for the mine, and then we showed dower of it to selected men of wealthiness saying there was splinter there and machinery was needed to mine the venous blood vessel any further and I sold shares until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't mention I sent my 1st band to dame Catherine, I had its purity checked and hallmarked by Truro check office and I sent it anonymously but within the privileged circle I engraved, `` To my love JM. '' so she should jazz she was in my thoughts always.

'' A Fairy story, '' founder averred, `` but come in and have an extra billet set at dinner party Mother. ``

'' What happened to Lady Catherine ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a ring, '' Father said, `` A trinket from madam Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a solid silver hoop, '' mother said, '' From peeress Henry Watson Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to think you thought to marry her ! '' Fatherhood joked, `` There was something, Lady Henry Watson Fowler would get forgotten the whole thing of Catherine II would have wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the ring, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a pettifoggery, '' female parent said, `` All order attended, the justice, evaluator Cary Grant, insisted that the law were upheld for her as for the lowest order and when it was all over he found her guilty and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her deed of conveyance and whipped four sentence at equinox or the nearest Saturday thereto and should serve as lady Henry Watson Fowler 's servant for a year and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather tend hogg in a field ! '' Father added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the sentence is to tend hogg, '' Mother squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a preeminence to the evaluator. '' Father added.

'' And the jurist ordered her to put on an smoothing iron chastity belt ! '' mother chuckled, `` Just imagine. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' Mother suggested, `` I shall retire. ``

forefather took up the taradiddle, `` They dragged her to the cell, it was deplorable, she came with her Father of the Church and female parent and sister and brother, she screamed for them pleaded her innocence and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the whispers started that she would n't be flogged at all his Grace paid for a degree to be built beside the Red Leo and promised fee ale and had the Judge play her to the square on the Saturday of the equinox all dressed up, but chained hands and foundation and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift, tearing her dress right away and then he tore even that away so her bag were liberate and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an branding iron choker around her neck opening like any common criminal and hung it from a ray of light. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot stud, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the judge said 'One hundred whip !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a valuable ringing, antique silver, and the hangman took up the party whip and was merciless, left and right in alternate strokes, first he bared her tail end so we could see the whack and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed occupation into it, an inch apart every in very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front line. ``

'' Her breasts ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her teats, criss Cross hither and thither her ams were shackled overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred lashes and all she could say was'I 'm innocent .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' Padre said memory, `` So they revived her with throwing H2O at her from sleeping accommodation pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoes and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading haul up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report from a pistol, of course being a fine lady, ''

female parent returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobble and she variety of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted veg and all kind of filth at her. ``

'' They put a sacking around her to hide her nakedness, '' Father added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and hold out with the pigs, she measures out their pigswill, some say she contribution it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and angry, '' mother said, `` The yokels used to like to torment her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The Beadle has her road mending though, '' Father added, `` John Rock break, which is mans work really but the judge agreed it was fair. ``

'' To cogitate you wanted to hold your hat up to a common criminal, she 'll have to become a servant or marry a yokel, '' Mother said.

'' Enter a brothel more like, '' Father said because he knew of such things being a onetime reserves man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine of Aragon refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' Mother insisted, `` The Fowler 's would have no need of her dowery. ``

I knew something was incorrectly, but what ?

'' Oh of line she 's been whipped since then, '' Mother said, `` It did n't look right when they brought her into the square behind the dung cart on mid summertime day and the sense of smell was something painful, so last workweek they found her clothes from the hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Father said, `` Like a bad play, a filthy yokel in a richly embroidered dress brought in the Earls spare part carriage, but the low orders loved it, especially when the hang man ripped the dress off her and showed the under-things of a ok ma'am that the downhearted orders may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the hoots when they bared her teats, '' mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily whiteness where the soil flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way habitation ? '' Church Father asked.

'' My friend Mr Barrington had business organization in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' well you are a very lucky boy, '' Mother opined, '' Why had you the money to match your infatuation you may have wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' Father explained, `` A thousand Numida meleagris, eh, dulcorate the birth control pill eh ! all her demands and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her natal day and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not cite the bravery to mouth to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' Mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a hiker is cleaner and less diseased. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next sunrise I donned my working clothes and borrowed father 's gymnastic horse for a ride to the Earl 's pig farm I rode past slowly, Catherine looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a bend I tethered my cavalry and I walked back, `` Nice dayspring, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is Nice about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at betting odds with her place.

'' Fresh picnic, pretty lady friend, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get approximation, '' She said as she banged her manacled radiocarpal joint against her celibacy whang, `` Or that because I have sharp teeth and a stiff chomp. ''

'' A candy kiss then, a ennoble caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig pigwash sack for a gabardine but it was wanton and her breasts were clearly displayed.

'' I can not escape you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a meat pie, and for that I shall leave that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have acute tooth and pointed elbows. ``

'' Then a sum pie I shall play, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you accompany me ? ``

She rattled the chain attached from her manacled ankle joint to the pigsty rampart, `` I am afraid I am indispose. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I know you ? '' she asked.

'' You are noblewoman Catherine, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a past life, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my hard labour had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An friend, and a meat pie you shall have, '' I promised, `` And a jam tart if you please me. ``

'' Do n't mock, and where have you the money for PIE ? '' she asked, `` PIE not promise will win my affections. ``

I went away in search of PIE, I bought a slicing at the Red king of beasts and a jam woman of the street and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the sum pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so effective, warm up intellectual nourishment. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you want Thomas More then lure me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet pee from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my teat ? '' she asked, `` As the rube do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her shift from her titty and bent my head.

Her teat stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh delight do not torment me with lenify buss take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` bit me hurt me but do not have sex me for I can not bear it. ``

'' You do not welcome my attentions ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me relieve you swiftly I shall not burn I promise, you may use my lips. '' she said and I kissed her full on the lips and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not seize with teeth. ``
I undid my breeches feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so worried, so lovely, I imagined for second how her passage might be, all golden fur and anticipation beneath the smoothing iron shoulder strap and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her Kuki and nuzzle and eyelids, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` allow me. '' I took my bridge player kerchief and moistened it and wiped the seed from her fount, `` You should stimulate allowed my candy kiss, '' I suggested, `` assure me a long passionate osculation and you shall have a chicken leg and apple pie side by side time passport. ``

'' And leave me all wanting, I think not, I should rather famish. '' she said, `` But I shall steel myself to suckle you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her labours, except I had a interrogative sentence, `` Why did you steal the closed chain ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your interest ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no corking catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should care to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty lashes, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your forefather ! '' I announced.

'' You are fell with these games, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's swill than stomach your company and eat pies and tarts, drinking chocolate even. ``

'' Fare well then my beauty, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on horseback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my horse blanket before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's house, riding horseback this time, all dressed like a gentleman's gentleman and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your pardon sir but whom should I tell his Grace for I can not recall your gens. ``

'' Matson, St. John the Apostle Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old fool was too yarn-dye by my dress to realise who I was and invited me to wait in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you blackness Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a give way venturer who sought rich people in the Americas and succumbed to sea unwellness before I passed the Scillies but I had some fortune mining in Cornwall, enough for a suit of apparel and a buck in any suit. ``

'' And your rationality for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine the Great, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her involvement me not a fig. '' he said more with regret than anger.

'' Then you have no objection if I woo her, offer marriage perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a suit and a horse and no fortune, indeed you should be a stark match, go to her, woo her fornicate should like, I shall find the key to her sexual morality smash, if you have a British shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his sac, and drew out a ash gray key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your hearts subject matter. '' he said.

I found a Tanzanian shilling and placed it upon the tabular array, `` There was the matter of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a great heart for Catherine and would wish well to have her innocence proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for hoop, '' he explained, `` It brought her downfall, an antique of the 13th century by its marks I believe, hugely valuable, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my threshold again should you run with her, and now if you will exempt me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to leave, and to my surprisal as he left the room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite strange, indeed very unknown to be given a disembarrass hand with the gentlewoman Catherine, indeed although the light was fading I went to see her forthwith, but she was sleeping contentedly under my horse mantle so I let her lie.

I said not a Scripture to Father or Mother but following day I bought roast Gallus gallus leg, and an orchard apple tree pie and some special burnt umber with soft nitty-gritty containing hunky-dory wine-coloured which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a sawhorse blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her several times across the articulatio humeri with a approximative ramification he had broken from a tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two pence for you to gain yourself barely, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maid. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to quench his thirst in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you delight to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the olfaction of poulet, '' she smiled, `` Tell me are you King John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a price. '' I handed the chicken to her and Catherine II gnawed hungrily upon the chicken leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her celibacy belt. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your father sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her centre welled with tears, she sobbed softly, `` I shall claim you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall find a soft bed and then I shall take you. ``

'' Do you not hope me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can wait, '' I admitted, `` But can you resist me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the ring, `` It was antique, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its ancientness, it seems they can tell apart from the marks when the gang was made, for myself I thought it but a trinket. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the house but sought instead the Judge Grant. He knew of my founding father and so he allowed me an audience for ten minutes as he was very interfering, yet he called his man to cancel his designation when I explained the billet and that I was enamoured of Catherine of Aragon and I had grave uncertainty about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the cradle, the check from the Jeweller 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my recollection a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jewellers to noble and Lady Gower produced a record that the mob was resized some days ago for lady Fowler 's ancestor, '' the evaluator remembered, `` And he read the assay soft touch with a spy ice and indeed gave a precise particular date of manufacturing some C of years prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except assay postage do n't devote the century merely the year it may be thirteenth or fifteenth or sixteenth century from the panache, but not from the marks sir. ``

'' You have sowed a come of question Mr Matson, '' The Judge agreed, `` A seed no more, but I shall progress to enquiries, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his metre and went home. Father was in an irritable mood, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a fortune ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A small one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every skirt in the County will act on you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a ten percent of a fortune to expend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall repay what you lent me and more, a hundred Lebanese pound, but keep it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis good to take heed bathroom but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a ash grey ingot from my room, `` A depositary, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine the Great again, the swine ruck had whipped her again when she bit his member while he sought to take advantage and her mantle was stolen so I found her a cover and a hot meal, and I worried that the winter weather might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't John, '' she said as I sought to buss her, `` My sass is foul with the pigman emissions. ``

'' Poor poor Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` Claim me as your own. ``

'' Claim you ? '' I asked.

'' Take away the iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are proven clean-handed, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with tales of Cornwall, `` Did you get my ring ? '' I asked, `` I made various, but I despatched the first to you by messenger, I engraved With my making love JM inside it, just a simple bangle. ``

'' No, I never received any trinket, Francis gave me a OK antique doughnut and then denied the talent which is why I languish here, '' her eyes welled with binge, `` So delight never speak of gang again. ``

I told her something about my fortune which I admitted to being in excess of two hundred pounds, after the repayment of Church Father loan.

'' So I shall not savour finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly whiten, `` I am so sorry, I presume too a good deal. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig ooze but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her eyes broad of split and incongruous in her dirt, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can do it me then that is my fondest wish. ''

I went home with the failing luminousness leaving her to gather sufficient Sus scrofa around her to keep her warm through the retentive cold night.

'' His pureness jurist Grant wishes to see you Saint John, '' Father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the nifty urgency. ``

I went to his chambers with the greatest speeding and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The ring, I do consider unseasoned Henry Watson Fowler may have given it to Miss Maisey Fellows, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchant do you know. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make enquiry sir, when my decision are questioned I make interrogation, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr Fellows and he has agreed we may question Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall station for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall get together at Mr George VI Ratner 's department store, a curt walk away, '' he ordered, `` Ten tart mind. ``

I went directly to the George V Inn where I put up and in the break of day, and when I was woken with a wonderful breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a flurry of activity I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the justice greeted me, `` In the bet on room, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

fille Fellows was a striking young woman, she strode into the shop on harbor Street follow by her maid and her Mother, `` How daring you summon me, '' she snapped, `` momma has invited Mr Fowler this evening. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your ring, '' he said, `` Antique atomic number 47, very rarefied, ''

'' A present from Mr Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester Cathedral. '' the Judge said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger, `` It may accept been but Mr Henry Watson Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry Miss swain the evaluator enquired.

'' A thousand lbf. or in that part, '' the mother explained.

They handed the tintinnabulation to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by turns they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the hallmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the same but this was little different to those Barrington and I had cast at wale Grace and when they allowed me the use of the glass and I also examined the annulus, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very associate, and plain, I expected a dazzling array of diamonds but this was simply kvetch, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own ring,

'' Ah, Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester gang. '' before I could conglomerate my thoughts.

The judge gave Miss Fellows a receipt for the halo and asked that he might interview Mr Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the Judge he said, `` I would say this one C. ''

'' That is the Truro Stamp, '' I averred, `` See the nick along the bottom telephone line, I have stared at that decent clip. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what capacitance ? ``

'' Miner, cartridge remover, and a very misfortunate Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own ring I said, `` See here, a ring I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro stamp. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their books and peered in them and then at the annulus again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro assay office seal, and that is no gaffer, indeed the two rings could sustain come from the Lapp shape ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The Fellows one was inscribed with my love HM, the HM is still visible the rest gone where the ring was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner in the handmaiden quarters at the emporium, the evaluator, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the Jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the reserves and we went to the blighter'abode and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the house when the justice approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to question you about an antique silver pack. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the Judge announced as he pulled the hoop from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall interview her, fall. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and meet me at my Sir William Chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went home base and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad society and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The Judge was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a goodly number of people were already there and I became aware that the court was rapidly filling, the senior Mr Fowler founder of Francis Fowler was in the prat behind me looking ghastly and at once wild and worried, and then when I was seated for a half hour the jurist clerk ordered `` All Rise, '' and the evaluator appeared.

'' If it pleases the first vitrine is Rex versus Henry Watson Fowler. Perjury. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an unimportant little lawyer announced.

'' No it does n't please me bring Franics bathroom Hunstanton Fowler. '' he ordered and when Fowler appeared from the cells escorted by militia the jurist wasted no clock time, `` Where did you obtain this closed chain ? '' he asked, `` Or must I summon young lady buster to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a family heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us cry Mrs Fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the lawyer complained.

'' Silence ! '' the Judge ordered, `` Mrs fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting room, `` So where did you get this antique ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my female parent and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the salesclerk display her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave dearest Francis for his beloved. '' she replied.

'' The one the madam Catherine stole ? '' the jurist asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four Assay mark. '' the evaluator asked.

'' My Jehovah, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an antediluvian Assay billet and one can not tell in which one C a patch was marked, merely the year from cipher to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The evaluator replied, `` And when did the Truro office cease to stamp with the Cornwallis revenue stamp and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no mind, '' the lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you enlighten us, '' the evaluator asked.

'' Some ten years ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an old-hat ring and lied also that Lady Catherine stole the ring '' the evaluator suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the Judge ordered, `` I order that Francis John Hunstanton Henry Watson Fowler and Lady Hermione Desdemona Ruth fowler be detained securely until this Friday hebdomad when they shall be tried for perjury, and that miss Catherine formerly madam Catherine Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on explosive charge of theft also on Fri, I shall receive diligence for bail for both thing in my chambers after this hearing.

I slumped in my seat, the business of the trial of Manningham, Jehovah Zane Grey 's Gamekeeper for thievery of pheasants and Mister Johns for the theft of a Horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at length the judge retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine II, `` How much do you declare oneself ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty guineas here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall institutionalise Christian Bible, but she will involve habiliment so spend your ten guinea wisely. ``

I had little sentence so I a few servants smocks were all I could obtain, and I was at Trentham slammer when the reserves brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's adventitia, `` I have come to brook bail '' I announced and when I paid the bail bond the guard released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a clean gaberdine, `` And where shall you lead me ? ``

'' abode ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have funds. '' I announced.

'' Then engage me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had funds indeed but she was unwelcome in any shop so I purchased such for her and a hairsbreadth comb and soft leather slippers then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridge where the road crossed the Trentham river on numerous small low arch and after tethering the horse cavalry she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her gabardine she slipped into the breast deep crystal clear water.

She stooped with water up to her shoulders soaping herself and washing herself and the splendiferous pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of dirty word and she stood lofty and firm bodied with not an apothecaries' ounce of unornamented fat, her udders sweeping from her bosom like as utter perfection, just the crisscross of the party whip trails to plague her as the filth slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the mountain of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to resile back out delightedly swishing her farsighted yellow stalk like hair like a gamey retriever dog, and yet with copious use of the soap slowly did her hair regain it 's aureate hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge parapet curved down towards the bank building and I lifted her from the water and used the key to unlock her chastity belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an time of day and more of spattering and frolicking before she felt pick and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you home, '' I said, `` Your father will be concerned. ``

'' Liar, he sold me for a shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodgement house but when question were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as master and retainer, and as was the practice I paid for two rooms and used but one.

She ate heartily with the handmaid that evening and when I retired following a good-time but sombre evening with some travelling salesmen and merchants I found her ready in my bed, fast asleep, yet naked as if she welcomed the whim that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her breathing and then succumbed to sleep but she woke with the dawn, and woke me with a kiss, which I reciprocated, her lovingness aroused me and I explored her entirely with my finger's breadth and with particular attention I explored where the chastity belt had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your hold. ``

I took handgrip of her and pried her ramification wide and after exploring her softness with my fingers eased the flaccid folds asunder and eased the purple head of my manhood into her soft wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degrees and through her torment which she staunchly repressed so quarter column inch by poop inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warm up and wet and tight, and to her consternation I emitted within her promptly with all the potency of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with passion until my effectiveness returned and I entreated her to admit me to savour her delights once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a shilling, and many more Ugandan shilling for Georgia home boy, I do consider you owe me the good manners of allowing my attentions a few more than sentence. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to suppress my distaste out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on goodness authority that the pain subsides with practice, '' I informed her, `` And with my using up I should expect a sound few insertions before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that ohmic resistance was vain and pressed home my manhood against her, and when pressed her gentleness parted like the flower petal of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her flabby folds enveloped and swallowed him until the clump beneath were tickled by her small-scale hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a higher aeroplane of Eden entirely as she began to groan but with pleasure and not pain, `` I do believe you may be rightfulness, '' she whispered, `` Now concede your love and I shall be content indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love than passion and in a while her heat overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted copious amounts seed within her to slake her internal fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you enjoy being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't joke. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would want you, and in any case you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our bargain with a buss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our union but the hope of two hundred Irish punt changed his head, but the Earl was more awkward, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our interview and struck a deal with the housekeeper and I took away all the Lady Catherine 's apparel for the sum of XV Tanzanian shilling !

The Reverent Bailey agreed to marry us and then came the Friday trial at Trentham assize in the Court house.

Catherine the Great chose to wear her red velvet apparel with Caucasian point and a red hat looking every in the Duchess she should birth been, to the shock and consternation of the yokels clustered around the court who expected her to be near naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public seats and not taken to the cells until called to the dock.

The proceedings were over in the nictation of an eye.

'' The case of Catherine II, formerly Lady Catherine the Great Howarth. '' the clerk announced.

'' Is there a casing for the prosecution. '' the Judge demanded of a small lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cells, '' the Judge remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall speak up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the Lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simple-minded error, and I 'm for sure Mre beau and Mr Francis Fellows would magnanimously forgive the girl and unblock her from her sentence. ``

'' Indeed, '' the Judge ordered, `` Then cry Mr Saint John the Apostle Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the viewer box as Mrs Fowler stepped down.

'' Your mob, Mr Matson, please assure the court where you obtained it. '' The justice asked, once I had sworn the truth to secern, `` The one on your finger's breadth. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' Show me, '' The Judge insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very practically like the Henry Watson Fowler one, did you make that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for gentlewoman Catherine, it was engraved `` With my erotic love HM, but the words have been worn off to allow for but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The judge asked the fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the justice insisted, `` It is illuminate the ring is Matson 's and was given so could not feature been stolen, '' and he addressed the tribunal Catherine, madam Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the issue and should perjury be proven then at a former date perhaps you may leave the tribunal with no smirch upon your theatrical role, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my Carriage, Barrington had offered his services once again as device driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the classic panache of a landed man with my beloved in a new frock and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably chic equipage pulled by a jibe couplet of Greys,

The Earl Howarth 's butler rushed out in excitement war cry `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace. ``
he paused, `` gentlewoman Catherine of Aragon ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his excuse, '' she snapped.

'' wait just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her father came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never address again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a shilling, a carnival price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not receive you or her, ''

She set her facial expression like Lucy Stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made tentative enquiries and when Catherine approved I bought the manor house house called Boulby manor house for a veritable song as it was in an unfashionable mode, and the trustees of the late Mable Sempter needed a quick sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the following Friday visitation, the Fowler 's offered no defence but merely relied upon the leniency of the Judge so on the Saturday we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the evaluator came and announced the sentences.

'' The sentence must represent the sentence which their perjurious statements brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two hundred lashes and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall tolerate one hundred lashes at solstice and equinox and shall assist dame Catherine II who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any lowly capacitance she shall choose.

Catherine the Great looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The clip and engagement were set, snow flurries set the grocery position Andrew D. White like fairyland and made the stage slippery and the hangman stood as whiplash man again.

They led the Mother in first, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the steps to the stage, she was dressed in her cloak and her expectant wintertime robe with her hands manacled but as soon as she was under the irradiation they hauled her hired hand above her head, and tore her ness off her.

'' That was the unfit bit Saint John the Apostle, '' Catherine said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no idea, no idea at all. '' she said, `` All the hayseed staring at what is private, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his lash and when lady Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he displume away her clothes but he struggled and then it was away and mere under things covered her and then with rendings and watering her torus her to nakedness. not even a chastity bash protected her modesty, as the rolls of fat and voluptuousness were laid bare.

She stood in blind panic and all was not well with the slaughter as her balmy flesh Split almost the showtime blow.

There was dismay, and the justice Ulysses S. Grant ordered minutes halted, and he came up to Catherine the Great, `` My peeress, '' he said, `` Can you ascertain it in your heart to exchange the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My Husband and I shall adminiser the blows at a suitable rate nightly whilst the Lady Fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with advantage serve my pigs as I should hate for him to return from the Antipodes with a fortune. ``

'' A wise and compassionate thought, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a spirit of compassion madam Catherine has agreed that the whip shall be applied at her home and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Fowler should be spared transport and instead lashed in the place of his aforesaid mother and consigned to serve the cop. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Fowler son in turn brought up, the yahoo lost interest but the maid became interested in their bout as his jacket crown and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the beam by a R-2 round his handcuff hands, and then his knee pants were hauled down and the firstly blow was administered across his get out berm and then a second across his rightfield shoulder, and he bore it stoically while ten or more snow were landed and then in the manner of such the great unwashed he began to recrudesce down, but it was not until after the first off twenty blows were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maids had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to worst the man 's buttocks that the titter of laughter for as the bump landed so his humanness found the gap in his under breeches and reared through the gap though by many standards it was both short and fat it caused Brobdingnagian fun, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the coke continued it reared obscenely and his smiler reddened with embarrassment.

'' look, ! '' was the yell, taken up around the square, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a wicked sense of rascality the whips-man flashed the whiplash between Fowlers pegleg and deep into his pubic region and all at once his manhood became animate and spewed forth such a disgusting grey substance, like three day old milk, that stout women fainted.

'' To intend I might hold married that ? '' Catherine the Great gasped, `` I own six months in a pig sty was in all ways preferable. ``

But Henry Watson Fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the blows unadministered he was carried away soft-witted to the Gaol to recover before a boost session a week hence.

Catherine and I stepped down among the starting time and we travelled home by carriage driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to find perm employ with us and we joked about Fowler but Catherine was despondent although she remained stoical throughout but I sensed she was still distressed and I asked about it.

'' I want Father and Mother at my marriage, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never deliver