Back in the 18th century a humble page visits a jeweller's shop.


"So lets get this straight. You say Prince Charming wants a golden dildo, 10 centimeter in cinch and 40 centimeter in length and encrusted with diamonds ?"

Buttoni, Prince Charming's page looked at the jeweler and nodded,"Indeed,"he agreed.

"fountainhead we're right out of stock at present gallant,"the jewelry maker admitted,"We got ivory and glass, bronze even, but Au with diamonds, well sorry squire, but there's no demand."

"His highness says he will consume you killed if you will not supply one,"Buttoni suggested.

"Fair enough, how does Thursday sound ?"

"Why not today ?"Buttoni.

"Got to make a mould squire, can't just pelt molten gold down some pathetic Slovack ‘ s ass fix anymore, health and prophylactic see ?"the jeweler complained

"Are you sure you are a jeweller and not the Village idiot ?"Buttoni asked.

"overlord no sir, end yr I come third in the settlement idiot competition, but I'm education hard for next year."

The jeweller knew a time waster when he saw one and Buttoni was a prime example. Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's love cunt.

Prince Boris or ‘ Prince Charming,'as they called him. Pretty as a Inachis io, bent as a corkscrew. Everyone knew. All the ladies loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass.

"When can I bear your master to come so I can form a mould ?"the jewelry maker asked.

"It's for a adult female you dog !"Buttoni sighed.

"I can do you a good shabu one for XX five Florins,"the jeweller offered,"The skidder we calls it on account of it being so smooth that it slips in easily."The methamphetamine slipper."

"Why so cheap ?"Buttoni asked.

"Second handwriting, was the married woman's female parent, cunt like a bucket, it just needs a bit of a clean."

"Done !"Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the methamphetamine was actually made as an learner piece of music and twice the sizing of any other.

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Buttoni rushed back to the palace. He liked his job as page but he was not too lament on people thinking he was Charming's lover. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with girls with a gift for saying the wrong thing and when the time came either he couldn't get it up or he got too excited and came in his pants. He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a fancy woman was generally considered to be a bad move for the royal stag menage PR wise.

"Your loftiness !"he blustered,"I have just had this smashing idea."

"Not again,"Prince Charming sighed,"What is it this metre ? Invade Russia, Dig a tunnel, build a glider in the loft, slay a Dragon ?"

"A testis !"Buttoni cried,"Hold a ball !"

"Baseball, tennis bollock ?"Charming asked.

"No a dancing, a big saltation, a mask egg, invite all the eligible wenches,"Buttoni suggested.

"mother tried that,"Charming remembered,"I spent the evening hiding in the loo !"

"But this time we say you met your genuine love and she left a honey relic and you have to find her !"Buttoni enthused.

"And what sort of keepsake ?"Charming asked.

"Her glass dildo !"Buttoni chuckled,"Look !"

Charming looked, he thought it was a vauntingly bottle of schnaps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape.

"You have got to be kidding !"he gasped as he saw the behemoth,"Wow, can you imagine those spoilt cosset simpering frigid kick Mother tries to palm me off with with that monstrosity inside them !"

"Exactly !"Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to align his pants as his cock swelled at the cerebration of it."And struggling to get the monster inside their cockeyed pink hairless snatch !"Buttoni suggested.

"And hairy ones Buttoni !"the Prince added.

"Actually it gets even better,"Buttoni chuckled."It's called a"Glass Slipper !"

"Actually,"Charming thought aloud,"With the correct PR we can blank out about having a ball, we'll say it happened at the last masked Lucille Ball !"

"And you'll marry the girl it fits ?"Buttoni suggested.

"If she's pretty !"Charming laughed,"But seriously.

"So shall we ?"Buttoni asked hopefully

"High five !"Charming agreed.


"We will say I met my genuine love at the disguised ball and she lost her field glass Slipper,"Charming explained to his mother and Fatherhood over breakfast,"And whosoever it fits I shall marry."

"Run the costings past my people and we'll get back to you,"King Harald suggested.

"It is pocket money father not working capital account,"Charming lied.

"capital, I mean excellent !"King Harald cried,"I'm sick and tired of people thinking there's something wrong with you."

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They put a small ad in the Bayerisch Bugle the topical anaesthetic destitute ads news sheet and opened a belittled workshop on Munchen street with a waiting domain and a cubicle with a bed. Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a peasant's smock, though the second joint length Shirley Temple leather charge with gold buckles kind of gave the biz away.

"Hello, I think I might be the girl he's looking for ?"Helga one of the whores from Madame L'Oiseaux's organisation stated boldly.

"Indeed, come through. I am Buttoni valet de chambre to Prince Charming and this is my adjunct Dumbkoph,"Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in disguise.

"Is this yours my honey ? '' Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 decimeter long dildo menacingly.

"You bloody degenerate !"Helga cried,"I thought you imply a horseshoe !"and she slapped him round the side and stormed out.

"Feisty,"Buttoni observed ruefully.

"Wonderful,"Charming sighed,"Maybe we should accept slayed a dragon."

"Yes,"Buttoni agreed,"Or maybe we are on the wrong tack ?"

Just then a beautiful youth girl stepped into the shop,"Is this where we try the slipper on ? '' she asked,"Only Mummy sent me."

"Actually it's a dildo,"Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.

"Really ?"she gasped,"I did inquire where I lost mine."

"What ?"Charming asked.

"Oh yes my good friend Charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes last winter at the Winterfest, and I lost mine."the girl admitted.

"Your good friend ?"Buttoni asked.

"Oh yes we shared a room at school, and a bed on cold nights."the female child explained,"But since I lost my dildo I have to get my maiden Hetta to fist me when I get PMT."

Charming looked unsteady on his feet, a blood vessel in his forehead pulsed wildly,"Your loftiness, are you all right ?"the young lady asked.

"He has just cum in his pant,"Buttoni explained,"He has this problem."

"It really doesn't subject I'm gay too !"the miss admitted,"Can I try it ?"

"Yes why not."Charming agreed.

"You're Prince Charming aren't you ?"the girl declared."Why are you wearing such a stupid disguise ?"

"He is shy,"Buttoni explained,"But really why would you need to try a dildo when you're gay ?"

"Why not, I don't fancy men, he doesn't envision womanhood, sounds perfect !"the female child explained,"And with a dainty big dildo to play with even better."

"wellspring then,"Butoni produced the glass dildo from a shift and suggested,"What do you think of that ?"

"My god !"the female child agreed,"It's huge !"

Her centre were wide-eyed with greed as Buttoni handed it to her,"It's sooo a good deal nicer than mine !"she said."So lovely and smooth !"

She looked daily round,"You don't expect ; You're not going to watch over are you ? You filthy swine ! Well at least interlock the threshold first."

And with that she sat down on the floor, pulled up her twisty skirts and petticoat and began to gently rub her clit.

"Do you have to look on ?"she asked.

"Absolutely,"Buttoni insisted as the girl tried to get a fingerbreadth up inside herself.

"Oh well do something utilitarian then, can you take up my boob ?"she asked as she undid the lacing on her bodice to let out her impressive boobies.

Buttoni bent to the task,"And you, I do have two of them."she reminded them."One each."

The Prince too leaned over the young lady and began to wet-nurse her nipple.

"Ohhh that's sooo effective !"she cooed as first one then two finger's breadth slipped inside her dampening cunt.

"That's three fingers,"she said,"livelihood on."

She was frigging herself urgently now, four finger slipped inside her, then the whole of her diminutive handwriting as she fisted herself.

The young lady gasped."Hetta usually takes over now, she has a freehanded manus than me, but can we try it ?"

Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl.

She pressed it against her cunt but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her cunt was dilated enough to call for her fist the dildo was much too wide to go more than 3 centimeters inside her.

"I need some lube."she said."Do you have any ?"

"Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would help ?"Buttoni suggested between sucks.

"Er yes."Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his breeches."assistant yourself."

The female child looked at Charming's long pink pole. A small cliff of pre cum glistened on his peter end,"Er sorry,"Charming apologised."False alarm."

The miss smeared pre cum over the dildo."Why don't you shoot your load over the dildo to really lubricate it ?"she suggested.

"Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lube you, stretch your cunt and all that ?"Buttoni suggested.

"Because he's gay darling, everyone knows that !"the girl explained.

"Damn you !"Prince Charming exclaimed."I am not gay, take care I'll show you."

He lunged forward, tripped over his breeches and fell over the girlfriend forcing her backwards and almost bashing her head on the floor.

"Ummm, you smell like a lady friend,"she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his cock until he finally found her cunt.

His tool slipped easily into her velvety snatch. He luxuriated in her warmth. It was like fucking a sporting lady without having to watch the clock or pay for it.

"Oi get on with it !"the missy complained,"Shoot your load and let your page have a go !"

"Be quiet I was enjoying that !"Charming exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to revel it,"the girl complained,"Another ten minutes then all right ?"

Charming was not too certainly he could retain on for ten minutes. The mountains of Bavaria swept through his mind. He was an Eagle soaring above the roof tops. He was in promised land with the angels. He was swimming in the J. B. Rhine. He was cumming. A glorious cloudburst of cum burst from his cock and saturated her parts.

"Ohhhhh."he gasped.

"Oooooohhhh,"she responded.

"Will it fit ?"Buttoni asked,"Or shall I have a go ?"

"Of trend it wont fit you moron,"the lady friend explained,"Look I'm gay. I lost my virtuousness to a girl. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in front of looker, I'm home plate free."

"What ? you wanted me to fuck you ?"Prince Charming demanded.

"give the boy an Malus pumila, got it in one.,"the girl replied.

"Do you have no respect for me at all ?"Charming enquired.

"No. None."she replied.

"Buttoni, your knife please,"Charming asked.

"What do you want that for ?"the missy asked.

"Why to expatiate your cunt if you can't subscribe to the dildo."he replied.

"All right, I'll try again."she agreed but no matter what billet she tried it in she could not force it More than 5 centimeters inside her.

It was no near. It was far too large.

"You have twenty four hours."Charming insisted.

"But how ?"she pleaded.

"Its up to you."Charming insisted,"Send the others away. You fetch your nightlong bag. Buttoni you mind the shop."

The girl quickly rearranged her article of clothing and went to the doorway.

"Where does that jeweller work ?"Prince Charming asked.

"Why in Wisebaden Strasse,"Buttoni replied,"But why ?"

"One looking glass dildo, a lot thinner, get the idea ?"the Prince suggested.

"But why, there are still deal of cunts to stretch ?"Buttoni asked in horror.

"I like that one,"Prince Charming declared,"Anyway, let's see if she is stupefied enough to arrive back.

"Errr,"the female child said,"There's quite a queue."

Buttoni went to the door, he let the young lady out and slammed the door quickly."Mine gott, they stretch to the townsfolk square."

"Right,"Prince Charming agreed,"We need a franchise."

"What ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lookalikes who look like me could take turn to use up my piazza !"Prince Charming suggested excitedly.

"And where do you recover these hoi polloi ?"Buttoni asked.

"I don't. You do,"Prince Charming laughed."You have an minute, put the closed for lunch sign up."

Buttoni sneaked out the back door and headed for the Bier-Hause. He had a few dry pint of schnapps for Prussian courage and headed for the Guards Barracks. He went to the mess and quickly recruited not only four stand ins for the prince but a complete royal body guard for only a calendar month pay from each.

Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a nominal administration fee for every girl who tried the dildo and set up a till on the shop sideboard and a list of the scale of tutelage, including try twice get a third try complimentary !

Within the hour Buttoni sneaked back in the second way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it.

Even the excitement of watching young ladies trying to scarf out a 400 millimeter dildo up their cunts pale after a while and within the month to the highest degree of the guardsmen had gone back to the barracks as girl after girl ruined their moral excellence trying to know a lump of glass.

Sweet hairless pink cunts, big hairy slit, neatly trimmed pubes, untidy overgrown bushes, some with nicks from shaving. Shy young girl, raddled old slime eels, the eager, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the devil even half way up.

Finally the waiting line dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop and returned to the palace to count the money.

The magnate was delighted, the queen exasperated and so life returned to rule with Prince Charming sneaking down the brothel every Tues Thursday and Saturday and poking the cook most mornings.

The world-beater despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one Sunday there was a ruckus at the palace gate. The pikesmen on guard duty were barring introduction to an irate young woman."Let me in !"a missy screamed."That Prince Charming motherfucker got me pregnant !"

Prince Charming wandered down to the gate."That's him !"the girl howled.

"You're the little girl from the shop !"he exclaimed.

"Six damned times I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once !"she snarled.

"Did it fit ?"he asked.

"No !"she snapped,"Of coures it didn't and I got pregnant !"

"Is it mine ?"he asked.

"Either that or it's impeccable conception, of course it is !"she snapped.

"funfair enough,"Prince Charming agreed,"Let her in, you had better meet mother."

"What just like that ?"she exclaimed.

"You haven't met mother,"he explained

He took the little girl to his female parent's sitting room,"Ah mother I am afraid I have made this miss pregnant,"he announced.

"Really, and what is her name ?"the fag asked.

"No thought,"Prince Charming admitted.

"Typical,"the girl sighed,"It's Ella, my Friend telephone me Cinders because I'm red hot !"

"Oh god you're a lesbian !"the queen gasped.

"I was,"she admitted,"It's hard to be hot when you're throwing up every morning."

"And this is your intended ?"the queen asked.

"fountainhead lets face it,"Prince Charming declared,"When the minor comes out there is little doubt the dildo will go back in."

"Dildo, what dildo ?"the pouf asked.

"Its this big round,"the girl said as she described the size with her hands,"And this long."

"And what pray do you see in this, this loose woman !"the queen asked.

"She is disrespectful, headstrong, like women so she's unlikely to get off with a footman, she's ideal world-beater textile,"he declared.

"So you think I'm headstrong, disrespectful and improbable to chamfer footmen do you ?"the world-beater enquired.

"fountainhead two out of three isn't bad,"he laughed rather inappropriately.

"Oh well, if you must !"the female monarch admitted,"So, ah Cinders, what do you like about my son ?"

"He's loaded,"she admitted."mummy said I should give it a go. Actually he smells like a young lady and I really liked it when he fucked me."

"Oh, that's good."Prince Charming agreed.

"We don't say ‘ fucking'in the palace dear,"the queen explained,"We say ‘ Make love life'much LE messy don't you think ? So, Cinders, when did you think of getting married ?"

"Married ? no way !"the girlfriend insisted,"I just want child support."

"Well I'm sorry but we don't do that,"the queen insisted,"We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the dungeon and musical rhythm you and starve you until you're not pregnant any Thomas More. ``

"Oh well in that character,"she said resignedly,"I suppose I will have to break it some serious thought."

"Actually it's my night for the brothel, how about we get a take away knackwurst and stay in and find out the servants fornicating instead."Prince Charming suggested.

"Yes lamb first-class estimation !"the faggot agreed.

"Not you mother, cinder !"Prince Charming suggested.

"And if I don't ?"Cinders asked.

The faggot looked askance at the female child,"We will get the take away and find out the servant fornicating you, two, maybe three at a prison term ?"

"Men or young lady ?"she asked.

"Men, missy, horses, dogs, the penguin from the zoo,"the queen explained,"trade good god girl half the female child in the kingdom want to bed my Charming."

"All right, but no laughable business concern,"the girl agreed.

"Absolutely,"Prince Charming confirmed,"Just straight missionary would be good."

"You are not fucking me again !"the girl insisted.

"Not fucking dear, making beloved, it sounds so practically nicer,"the queen insisted.

"You liked it last time,"Prince Charming reminded her.

"Only because you smell like a young lady,"she explained.

"Very exacting my Charming, a bathroom every Friday and clean underpants every week,"the queen confirmed,"Anyway where is this famous dildo, it does sound rather fun ?"

Prince Charming and the young woman looked at each other and burst out laughing.

And they all lived happily ever after.

fountainhead the little girl wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some backers to put up 1000 guilders for the first unmarried girlfriend to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent job out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to watch. The jeweller never did get paid and the small dildo he made is probably still in blood line. Buttoni married cinder's friend Charlotte after he had a tub, doused himself in Eau de Cologne and basically jumped her one Nox. The queen had a replication glass dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the king spends his time talking to his works in the garden and meddling in political relation like kings do.

And therein lies the lesson of this narrative, if you want to displume, have a bath and fag out blank underpants