For as tenacious as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a better version of myself. A torpedo to someone, but every clock time I see danger or difficulty, I end up ... freezing. I guess the champion sprightliness is just not for me ... I never introduced myself though did I daybook ? You 're new, I 'm new to you and here I am already throwing stuff at you like this, I 'm sorry. My figure is Leon, Leon Carter. I 'm 14 and I 'm a highschool freshman. I love games, comic strip, dancing, chocolate and I 'm a BIG, BIG Superhero fan, namely ... Superman.

I know, I know ... one would say that a guy my age is should be more into Batman, or really should n't be into cartoon heroes at all ... but I just love it. The stories, the Super family, and the new Superboy Jonathan ? So adorable ! Not many mass like it, and I get it, but I guess ... to each one their own I guess ...

But this entree tonight is not for me to spill about Elvis, but about ... well ... who I am.

Sorry about how I unevenly write, I 'm just not used to it, but here we go !

I ... am adopted, I do n't remember when or how I got here but the dud just dropped one day for me. My parents called me down and told me one day. I 'd say I took it kinda well, I did n't cry or anything, do n't even cogitate I felt anything actually ... I got dead and just ... kept on living. Maybe it 's due to the fact that my parents enjoy me so practically and that I do n't know anything other than them as my parents, but I did n't feel anything negatively charged towards them ... anyway, I go to school, I have a best friend and lots of friends that take guardianship of me because they say I 'm adorable. I guess that 's poise actually, that everyone likes me this much. I just do n't get what I have that 's so impressive.

One affair about me that I find ... well, weird is ... well ... I do n't even make love why I 'm writing it as if I 'm talking but whatever ...

I do n't experience confortable in relationships.

I love how my friends like me and concern about me, I love my parents, but the mere thought of having someone actually eff me to the full point of wanting to be WITH me gets me ... unquiet. I 've had two girlfriends before, sooo let 's talking about that.

My for the first time girlfriend 's epithet was Eva. She was sweetness, she was beautiful ... had these amber eyes and black whisker ... She would always stick around me, said she 's protect me and my grin, and I said I 'd do the Same for her ... turns out ... other the great unwashed feeling the same as you can induce heaps of trouble. The fact that my friends all like me just as often made her tactile property ... ungratifying ... and I ca n't blame her. We broke up in 3 months.

My second gear girlfriend was called Lola, and she was awesome. Tough young lady, long Negro hair and blue eyes I 'd easily get lost in. She was really, really tough ... airless to a real life heroine I could meet. One day, we were coming out of the moving-picture show when we were jumped by this guy with a knife ready to rob us. As I said, I froze, I could n't do anything ( And regret it to this day ) but her ? She flipped the guy over herself as if he was made of paper, dunno if it was jounce or fear but he simply got up and ran away from us. I 'm thankful to her ever since this day. We really hit it off as a couple. interchangeable taste sensation, music and biz ... but ... well ... she 's an ex for a reason right ?

She told me something, something that scared me a lot ... she said `` I love you ''. And I could n't ... say it back to her. And after 3 days ... we talked it out and broke up ... I just ... could n't ...

Ok, I just gave myself some face smack and I 'm set up to babble out about the next person ... the one I let unloosen all the time. Ian Anderson.

I 've known Ian ever since we were pocket-size. We always had fun together ... he is so polite and happy and there 's something about the way he winks that just says `` Do n't concern, I got it ''. He is my age and we are in the same course of study, we like the same stuff and he 's really endure ... gay guy I 've ever known. He is my one honest hoagy, and I ca n't help but observe that ... everytime he winks at me, reassuring me that everything is going to be ok ... my heart skips a beat. I get queasy, I get happy and kinda disappointed that I get to palpate this way and have no idea what to do with this impression ...

Ian is my best booster, always was. I feel ... Weird when I 'm around him. I 'm always happy with him. I 'm laughing writing this because ... there was this meter he got here, my parents were out and we played games all day, danced around like a bunch of nestling, sang together and even had pizza for dinner party. It was one of the glad days of my life. So chill, so good ... he always reassured me that he was having a lot of fun with me, and I could say the same to him. He was the ground I even changed my style !

I used to bear a messy melanise tomentum, one day, he just went `` Hey, ever thought of like ... dyeing your fuzz ? blond or something ''. I remember it vividly ... he ... ran his fingers on my hair on the area that should be blond and said `` Maybe lower it on the position a bit ? ''. I laughed at that, it was so ... sweet. I would never take care as poise as Ian though. His hair's-breadth is spiky brown, his eyes are the most beautiful shades of greenness ... different tincture. Yeah, you heard me.. uhh .... translate it. He has heterochromia and it 's the coolest matter ever !

Which brings me to the ... understanding I 'm writing this down ... I 've been feeling unlike about him ... not the skipping a split second ... more like ... I want to be so much closer to him, not seeing him hurts ... and my friends seem to notice that I 'm nervous when he is not around. They poke fun, proficient natured of course, but I was thinking ... maybe ... I 'm not the only one flavor like that ... what if I really am not ? What if he feels the Saame way ? Oh God what if he does n't ? Why am I so ... weirdo about it ? Am I going softheaded ?

Is it ... just me ?

Maybe I 'll invite him over tomorrow ... try to talk about it ... I 'll be household alone, cracking opportunity. What could go wrong ?