Hannah.

'' Ah Lord Pinkerton ? '' an emboldened mature lady around my mother 's age accosted me as I lounged amiably enough with my crony at the Misses Fotheringay 's ball at Southam Courtenay, `` Have you met my daughter Molly ? ``

I looked past the matron and there through the fug of intoxication I believed I beheld an angel, a with child vision in gleaming virtuous clean, and at secondly glance an improbably plump one, `` No, I have n't had the pleasure, '' I agreed uncertainly for the confection Mull-berry wine had had its effect on me.

'' I should hope not ! '' Algy declared, `` For she may have two legs, two arms, two bosoms and two oculus, though remarkably dis standardized, but two mentum Johnno, well you must pull out a tune somewhere ! ``

'' Ah, '' I agreed with a contented burping, `` Indeed. ``

Poor mollie turned and fled as fast as her considerable volume would allow.

'' You sir are an abomination ! '' the female parent averred.

'' Fattening her up for Dec 25, '' Bobby Fawkes chipped in, `` I like a plump razzing at Christmas Day ! ``

'' I 'd like to sit down, '' I suggested as I regretted mixing French and English wines so early in the evening.

'' You slight me sir ! '' the matron avowed.

'' Tell me, '' I asked, `` You have but one chin, a melt off weasel like face, a narrow waist, lose weight spindly legs beneath that gown I 'll wager, so how did you have a bun in the oven a baby elephant for a daughter ? '' It was said by way of an dependable search for the truth.

'' I shall not persist to be insulted ! '' the matron replied.

'' Oh, shall you go elsewhere ? '' Bobby enquired.

'' Oh it was no insult Madam, '' Algy insisted, `` No Johnno seeks to bed you. ``

She half smiled, `` Indeed, then I shall inform my husband, Lord Garth. ``

'' That great oaf, '' Samuel Verney added, `` I should quake in my charge if it were me. ``

'' Madam, '' I added, `` I have no great desire to take a crap eff to you, '' I insisted, `` Though I should certainly prefer you in my bed to that great ox of a daughter, for she would surely fall in the bed bod ! '' It seemed funny remark at the time, you understand but the next thing Algy had to step forward to stop the matron striking me.

I can not recall much of the even after that, but in the fullness of metre I awoke in a bed in the Red Lion Inn in Southam Whiston with the sun high in the noon day sky and the pipe and barrel striation of the Caithsby reserves playing inside my skill.

'' Oh my head, '' I croaked.

'' So you are not drained ? '' an unfriendly female person voice boomed around inside my skull.

'' No madam. '' I agreed, `` Though if I spent the night with you I wish I were. ``

'' Indeed, '' she boomed,

'' Can you please hold the noise down. '' I asked, `` My head is bursting ! ``

'' You insulted my girl Molly, '' she insisted.

'' Oh god, Mrs Garth, '' I groaned.

'' Lady Garth, '' she corrected me, `` What do you mean to do about it ? '' she demanded.

'' Absolutely nothing gentlewoman, for she is fat as a pig, '' I explained, `` I own I 'd rather snog a pig than molly, on chronicle of the less turn of Chin they display. ``

'' Very well then, '' she said and began to shout, `` Unhand me you drunken oaf, '' and with theatrical flair she tore at her bodice and through its delicately quaity and exquisite needle body of work she dislodged but one solitary clit where she sought to bring out her titty to kick view.

'' master Pinkerton I am a splice fair sex ! '' she protested and right on cue my doorway opened and there were Molly and the Inn keeper 's maid as witness and Lord Garth himself, a frail creature of apparently octogenarian vintage though in Truth he was but sixty such it was said was the voracity of lady Garth 's night time demands that he had aged twenty years in the first six months of marriage.

'' keep difficult young Pinkerton, why are you dallying with the mem sahib ? '' he asked.

'' No estimation sir, '' I explained, `` Your girl is fat as a pig sir, '' I said inelegantly, `` Lady Garth came to remonstrate.

'' Carry on then, '' he said from the doorway.

'' dad Lord Pinkerton has shown integral disrespect for myself and our household, '' mollie cried.

'' But you are as fat as a pig dearest, '' God Almighty Garth admitted and nodding towards his married woman he continued, `` And look on that one for she 'll eat you alive sir, '' he added as an after thought.

'' But my honour, challenge him Oswald, '' Lady Garth insisted.

'' Challenge, why he would win manpower down, '' Godhead Garth averred, `` No you challenge him if you see fit, I am taking a walk around the park, expert day. ``

madam Garth stared in disbelief, `` He, '' she started to say.

'' Is a very sassy man, gentlewoman Garth, '' I added, `` May I wish you good day ? ''

'' No indeed you may not ! '' Lady Garth insisted, `` Not until this topic is settled. ``

I groaned, my head was far from cleared yet, `` Then allow me some concealment that I may primp, ''
I asked reasonably enough.

'' No, I shall remain, '' ma'am Garth insisted.

'' Then so be it, '' I suggested and I pulled my night shirt clean over my top dog to fend naked, sadly unaware that my brother had writ `` Pinkertons Prong a shilling an hour, '' across my belly in lamp melanise in the depths of the night.

'' Oh ! '' ma'am Garth cried in surprise, `` Its huge ! ``

'' Oh, its Brobdingnagian ! '' cried molly in alarm,

'' Oohh, its huge, '' the amah said admiringly as sensing the scent of a woman my prong raised himself to his full eight column inch and more of extension.

'' Put it away sir you will scare the horses, '' Lord Garth said as he returned to seek the crusade of the commotion, `` Or else do mortal an injury. ``

'' Ooohh yes what an injury, '' the maid simpered.

'' Damn it where 's me breeches, '' I cursed as my Night shirt descended to cloak itself around the root of my prong leaving him straining still.

'' Marigold, stop staring, '' Lord Garth councelled, `` Wife number away ! '' he repeated.

'' mammy did he do it ? '' a newly voice asked.

I looked an another housemaid had appeared, dressed in a simple flannel sack, her face like the mother perhaps yet XX yr her junior, dreary eyed and blonde of hair, svelte where the sis was porcine, well proportioned where the sister was porcine, fair of face where the baby was distinctly porcine, and she regaled my prong with a steely regard as her tomentum flowed untamed around her shoulders.

'' Look away missy ! '' Creator Garth cried, but to no avail and though I knew it not at once the maid was smitten.

'' Uh, it 's huge ! '' she said, `` poor Mummy ! ``

'' Hannah ! '' Lady Garth cried, `` bet away, normal men are not so well endowed, so fear not. ``

'' Earl Marchington ? '' Hannah asked.

'' How should I jazz, probably not, '' Lady Garth blushed, `` My Hannah is betrothed to Earl Marchington. ``

'' What old Freddie ! '' I asked.

'' No the old duffer, '' Hannah admitted, `` Freddie 's daddy, '' she continued, `` He is rich, we are not. ``

'' Your daughter is most forward sir, '' I suggested as I tried to enshroud my prong even as the multitude pushed into my room as more unite to investigate the commotion.

'' I 'd be wed by now if only Molly would get herself betrothed, '' Hannah argued.

'' Oh I see ! '' the fog cleared, slowly, `` And I have the only prong long enough to penetrate the voluptuous pile of flesh that protect Molly 's ah, honour ? ``

'' Yes in a nut shell. '' Lord Garth suggested.

'' Just get out all of you ! '' I demanded.

'' Then I demand one hundred Guinea of I shall account that you abused me carnally in the Night ! '' dame Garth said triumphantly.

'' Did I ? '' I queried, `` How ? ``

'' Oh what a interrogative sentence ! '' she snorted.

'' Indeed, '' Maker Garth confessed, `` There are an hundred and more that will attest to waking up with my dame Garth. ``

'' Silence you imbecile, '' dame Gath replied, `` You make me sound like a harlot ! ``

I looked around, there were seven crowded into the tiny way, the box bed and ward gown encroached further and there was still no sign of my breeches, nor undergarments.

'' And where exactly do you guess we conjoined ? '' I asked. `` On the base ? '' I spread my weapons system all-embracing indicating there was an insufficiency of blank space, `` Or in the box bed ? '' I enquired.

'' On the bed of course ! '' the mother insisted.

'' And where should your spread legs go ? '' I asked.

'' Oh, indeed, '' Godhead Garth agreed, `` The English of the box bed would impinge most painfully. ``

'' With mummy on top then, '' Hannah declared.

'' Really, '' I enquired and I lay back on the bed and showed just how tightly the sides fitted me, `` And where would her knee joint go. ? ``

There was a rustling of linen, a snowy Angel appeared and leapt upon the bed like a playful gun dog, `` Like so ! '' Hannah insisted, and she planted a knee each side of my hip bones.

'' Your mother is neither lithe nor nimble as you ! '' I declared.

'' But it is potential, '' Hannah insisted.

'' Hannah get down this flash ! '' Lady Garth cried, `` You are betrothed ! ``

But it was all too late for she began to sink down, as as she did she pulled her transformation and mine so that no one saw my prong coast up the front of her belly and all believed I had pronged her.

'' Hannah ! '' gentlewoman Garth cried, `` Get off him this split second

'' stupid person fille ! '' Jehovah Garth added.

'' She must own a nihility like a cow if she could make that without a whimper, '' the maid observed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Had I impaled her the whole humankind would feature heard. ``

'' I stifled my scream, '' Hannah suggested as she bounced ineffectually upon my loins.

'' You could n't possibly, '' I said, `` I won best prong three terms running at school ! ``

'' Yes I could ! '' she insisted.

'' Liar ! '' I replied.

'' Yes I could ! '' she challenged again, and in one ill advised movement I raised her up and as she fell I guided my prong towards her hymen, it parted with a scream that sent crows scattering a mile hence, `` Aggghhhhhh ! '' she cried, `` Desist I beg of you or I shall never walk again ! ``

'' The pain in the neck will pass soon enough, '' I suggested.

'' I can not stomach it, '' she said and the weeping flowed.

'' Just stay still, '' I suggested as I sobered very quickly, `` Perhaps your honour is integral ? '' I asked hopefully.

'' With half your prong inside her I think not ! '' lady Garth insisted.

'' Half ! '' Hannah cried and as she stilled she found herself sinking agonisingly ever further onto my prong, providing me with such dainty joy that I could contain myself no further and I lay back eyes closed to enjoy the moment of expulsion.

'' Oh no, do n't you defy ! '' peeress Garth exclaimed but suddenly my loins were pumping and a quart and more of my stickiness surged Forth within misfortunate Hannah.

'' Ohhhh, '' she gasped, `` Mummy ! ``

'' He 's claimed you you idiot ! '' noblewoman Garth cried, `` Come away, quickly, you saw nix nix do you hear ! '' she insisted.

'' Oh, '' Hannah exclaimed when the room access finally shut.

'' Oh indeed, '' I agreed.

'' I am, '' Hannah said quietly, `` Undone, ''

'' No matter, '' I suggested, `` Get old Marchington drunk and he 'll never be any the wiser. ``

'' Was that only three function in ? '' she asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` But climb off before I stiffen again. ``

'' Perhaps, '' she said, `` I do n't want to, for when shall I ever have a plunder winning prong again ? ``

'' You Minx ! '' I cried, `` You Jezebel, '' but my prong was renascent and spear upward into her well lubricated innards with the great of ease.

'' Ohhh, '' she gasped at the renewed usurpation, `` It 's huge ! ``

'' Is it too practically ? '' I asked.

'' Perhaps ? '' she said, `` Perhaps not. ``

'' It 's not all the way in, '' I explained

'' Really ! '' she queried, `` It feels like it is, and more than ! ``

'' No, it 's, the family curse, '' I explained, `` Few women can take the whole of a Pinkerton prong, those that can are cocotte, '' I added, `` I am cursed never to find the perfective woman who can take my entire length. ``

'' Then I am greatly relieved, '' she said and went to conjure herself up but in doing so she slipped and slid down my prong even more, `` Nooooo, '' she wailed but to no consequence for she was so moist she slid right down to the very origin of my prong, `` Like that ? '' she asked.

'' Oh gosh yes, oh Miss Garth, I am enraptured.

'' I am impaled, I fear the pain will never subside, '' she protested.

'' Bear it stoically for indeed it will pass and for myself, '' I admitted, `` I am in complete ecstasy and in a moment I shall soothe your inner most function. ``

'' No you must not, '' she protested, but my emollient was already boiling forth from my pubic region, `` Please I pray, '' she continued, `` No, oh Jehovah no, '' and a great deluge gushed from me and I saw angels and the altogether heavenly horde clapping and cheering and Hannah 's look had not the appearance of someone in painfulness, oh no far from it, she was as enraptured as I.

'' I fear I shall never walk properly again, '' she observed, `` You have ruined me utterly, '' she protested, `` No man shall want me now. ``

'' And you have shown even a slender woman might train my length and cinch and bring me to the tiptop of ecstasy, '' I explained, `` Will you be my whore ? ``

'' Yes ! '' she agreed, as finally she climbed free of me, `` When I marry the duke I shall visit you regularly. ``

'' Every night ? '' I asked.

'' Oh no, I must expend the night with my hubby, '' she declared, as she tried to stem the flood of my source busily escaping her.

'' In that suit wed me ! '' I challenged.

'' I thank you for the sort offer but, '' she paused, `` I can not think of a single reason to refuse, except we do not know one another or like one another or. ``

'' But we do fornicate amiably enough, '' I interjected.

'' And you will endure a life-time of sobriety ? '' she asked.

'' No, absolutely not ! '' I protested.

'' And blockade chasing fancy woman ? '' she suggested.

'' Only when you are indisposed, '' I agreed.

'' And will know me ? '' she asked.

'' I can try, '' I agreed.

'' And you will lie and say I am beautiful, '' she asked.

I looked at her, `` There is no need for me to lie, you are beautiful, '' I told her.

'' Then so be it ! '' she agreed, `` I do n't require to marry a duke anyway, he smells. '' she confided and after a desirable period she slipped from my room.

I found my clothes at length and dressed as smartly as yesterdays attire would allow for and ventured Forth River, my champion had already been apprised of my betrothal by my intended Miss Hannah and I sat down to my repast to answer their taunts.

'' Pinkerton, what meal is this, a tardily break-fast or an former lunch ? '' some wag asked,

'' I call it Brunch, '' I said, `` And later I shall take on High Teadinner. ``

'' Do n't be an idiot ! '' Bobby Fawkes chided, `` Brunch, what a ridiculous belief, but why Pinkers ? '' he asked.

'' She took me globe cryptical, '' I said, `` Imagine, such a waife like countenance yet within there is a fissure of eight column inch and more ! ``

'' Oh ? '' Algy enquired, `` And your means of discovery ? ``

'' I pronged her of track ! '' I declared.

'' Oh ? '' Bobby declared, `` Dash it that 's a tad unsporting what with the duke having his heart set. ``

'' Ah well, '' I said, `` When it comes to land they will always be trumped by the prong. ``

'' Easy for you to say Pinkers, '' Sam Verney chipped in, `` But what about those of us with human size prongs not the nut of a prize bull's eye. ''

'' well that 's hardly my job is it ? '' I informed them and I tucked into my brunch while wondering if shepherds pie, fried eggs, bacon and love apple was an entirely wise alternative for my meal.

The noon came and with it my difference from the Southam Courtenay and its environs and for my yield dwelling, the more enobled having stayed with the Misses Fotheringay at Sutton Courtenay homage or the lodging house in the grounds and it was from there that a very angry Earl Marchington descended to reprimand me.

'' Pinkerton, where is Pinkerton, '' he demanded his piggy slight eyes bulging through immensely thickly eyeglass framed in the thickest skeleton I ever regaled as he bent his head up to comensate for his arched back and squat thick wooden leg and a belly informant to seventy geezerhood and More of boozing and eating to excess.

'' Here sir ! '' Algy announced even as I tried to slip one's mind away the endorse way.

'' Pinkerton you cad ! '' he cried, `` semen Forth that I might let satisfaction ! ``

'' Sir ? '' I said as I had to return to the dining room to face him.

'' You abused my engage ! '' he accused, `` I demand atonement ! ``

'' Bessie the landlords daughter is very lodge, '' Bobby Fawkes suggested.

'' Satisfaction sir ! '' he said, `` A duel ! ``

'' Indeed ? '' I enquired, `` Why ? ``

'' You ravished my wench ! '' he insisted, `` opt your weapon ! ``

'' Prongs at dawn ! '' Algy suggested.

'' You insult me sir, '' the Earl railed. `` I did not come here to be treated with contumely ! ``

'' Oh, so precisely where do you go ? '' Algy enquired.

'' Prongs it is then sir, '' I said, `` We shall select two whores as like as alike as we may and the one that cries out loudest is the succeeder. ``

'' I meant the prospicient, '' Algy muttered.

'' You sir are depraved, '' the Earl muttered, `` Is the Landlord 's daughter abroad ? '' he asked, `` For do you sleep together I feel stirrings. ``

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Though she is as ugly as a pig with a fragrance to match, ''

'' Ah, then this is she ! '' he agreed as he espied a well padded Lester Willis Young cleaning lady waddling towards us, `` power I worry you for a dalliance ? '' he asked his muddled brain mistaking the char for the Landlord 's daughter.

'' A dalliance ? '' she demanded, `` A dalliance ! '' for far from the Landlord 's girl it was indeed molly Garth, Hannah 's sister that had come to see me.

'' You mock me ! '' the Earl demanded, `` You think I am incapable ! ''
I nearly burst my sides with the elbow grease of stifling my laugh

'' No sir, no but a dalliance ? '' she said.

'' flirtation, pronging, fornication, call it what you will, '' he demanded, `` I have stirrings and I demand gratification ! ``

'' Damn it girl, my Lord Earl Marchington has needs, '' I insisted, as I almost shook with laughter, `` Disrobe now I say ! ``
'' Earl ? '' she queried, `` Earl Marchington ! ``

'' Indeed, quickly fille, '' he declared, `` I have stirrings ! ``

Fat ugly and slow moving as she was Molly was not entirely stunned, `` Oh then let me console you, '' she lisped, and looked to me for assistance.

'' Disrobe, use my room, no the dining table might suffice. '' I suggested.

'' No ! '' Molly protested, `` I can not ! ``

'' Lend a mitt Pinkerton, before the desire fades ! '' the Earl cried, and before I could oppose both Algy and Bobby had stepped forward and after a seconds thought so Sam came forward and they gently eased molly towards the dining mesa, `` Disrobe her man ! '' the Earl cried.

'' For pities sake ! '' Molly cried as I watched, `` Unhand me ! '' she cried again but to my pity I just stood aside and watched as Molly was pulled towards the tabular array and then reversed against it and rolled on her back and it was the workplace of a moment to pull her skirts and underskirts up and so reveal her bloated belly and the mass of fur hiding her slot.

The Earl was now scrabbling at his boot laces, his breeches around his articulatio talocruralis and his prong revealed, some four or five inch in distance yet improbably fat like his belly.

I looked at his prong and her paunch and back again, it would never do, `` On the edge of the table ! '' I ordered, seeing that the Earl 's prong and table stood at the Saami height or thereabouts and at my bidding so the sexual union began, a complicated affair, with Algy holding mollie 's shoulders and Sam and Bobby holding her leg asplayed as the Earl approached with his prong rampant and slid it neatly within the furs of her slot.

'' Oh ! '' Molly gasped as the Earl claimed her.

'' Like it do you wench ? '' The Earl asked.

Poor mollie, she knew not what to reply so she held her glossa while the Earl amused himself for a few moments until his eyes rolled signifying his import of release and at that very here and now Molly 's mother stepped into the room.

'' Molly ! '' the mother cried.

'' I say ! '' the Earl cried, `` You might pink ! ``

'' Un hand my daughter ! '' she cried.

'' This is not your daughter this is the Landlord 's maid, '' the Earl cried, `` Can you not see she is fat as an ox and ugly as a rampantly boar ? ``

'' That sir is molly my one-time daughter, '' ma'am Garth insisted, `` Now pull your breeches up sir lest the goose gibbosity on your rear end frightens the horses. ``

'' Are you sure ? '' he asked, `` Your daughter you say ? '' he asked.

'' Yes ! '' noblewoman Garth insisted, `` And you barbarians holding poor mollie down ! ''

'' My eye she would be a great solace of a rimy night, '' the Earl confessed, `` Nice and plump and willing. ``

'' You said she was ugly as a pig, my lord, '' I reminded him.

'' It matters not when the candle are blown out. '' he agreed, `` Look youthful Pinkerton, lets forget our duelling, you have the slim down one and I 'll take the plump one, are we agreed. ``

'' Indeed sir a cap trace, '' I agreed.

'' Do I have no say in this ? '' Molly asked.

'' No, not if you are to be a Countess ! '' Lady Garth intoned, `` We shall get the name changed on the man and wife licence forthwith, is three weeks the succeeding Saturday convenient for the wedding my lord. ``

'' I believe so, '' the Earl agreed, `` Damn it I shall make it so. ``

'' But what about me ! '' Hannah protested.

'' I shall marry you ! '' I reminded her.

'' But you are a rummy and a fornicator ! '' Hannah 's mother protested.

'' Agreed, but I do have my faulting, '' I admitted.

'' And when shall you tie me ? '' Hannah asked.

'' This very mo if you wish, '' I suggested

'' Before the lord ! '' she insisted.

'' Ah, '' Lord Garth suddenly announced, `` Have a double celebration, spare me a fortune do n't you know.

'' Yes ! '' Lady Garth agreed, wistfully, `` You always were a inexpensive skate why not tell the world ! ``

'' And where shall we hold out ? '' Hannah asked.

'' Oh lord knows, '' I replied, `` London, or Barsetshire or Scotland, follow the season, '' I explained.

'' But we must reconcile down, buy a planetary house ! '' Hannah insisted, `` An acres perhaps ! ``

'' Buy another theatre ! '' I protested, `` Damn it I have four already, Id'rather sell one than buy another ! ``

'' four-spot home ? '' she said in amazement.

'' Big single, 100 of boor hovels of track. '' I admitted, `` I leave all that to my man ! ``

'' Yes well, '' Lady Garth interjected, `` We well know how prone to exaggeration lord Pinkerton is. ``

'' Me, exaggerate, '' I protested, `` On the contrary Madam, I habitually down play my talent so as not to affright the fillies. ``

'' I do n't intend your prong ! '' Lady Garth explained, `` I mean your wealth. ``

'' If Hannah loves me then material things will not weigh. '' I insisted, `` For where else will she find such a fulfilling prong ? ``

'' Is that right wing Mother ? '' Hannah queried.

'' How should I know ? '' the mother asked in embarrassment.

'' Why there is hardly a retainer that you have not at some clip serviced, '' Lord Grath reminded her, `` Indeed Hannah has the look of Colonel Templeman about her do you not think ? ``

'' No ! '' ma'am Garth protested, `` She does not ! ``

'' fountainhead she looks very fine in any case, '' I explained, `` So if you will justify us I shall remind my dear of the advantages of marrying me ! '' and I snatched her up and whisked her away to my room and pronged her anew, though it must be admitted that when faced with that awkward box bed and cramped room it proved most efficatious when she sat on the very edge of the bed and then as I stood and pronged her so I lifted her clear from the trading floor forcing my manhood so deep into her that she squealed and wailed in exaltation even as she wrapped her legs around me and I walked around the bedroom supporting her solely with my prong and there I found heaven .