I arrived at Allerton Hall unannounced, dressed in the classical style of a shoot down gentleman while riding in a tolerably smart carriage pulled by a touch pair of Greys, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devonshire who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's pantryman rushed out in agitation cry `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His blessing indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then direct me pray, '' I requested, in as haughty personal manner as I could muster.

'' In the Town sir, Allerton, in the square toes sir, at the whipping sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rights he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the Lady Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the whip and forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to continue self-command of my ridiculously tall hat..

'' I could get a taste for this John ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that minute we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` ripe than mining, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as dependable with your drive, you better let me ride ! ``

We changed stead and also changed coating and chapeau and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a proficient lick and swung into the square, thank god Barrington was alert because a seething mass of humanity confronted us and if he had not thrust the sprag through a steering wheel there should have been massacre for we should never accept stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a suspension in Bodmin in August, for a great wooden stage had been set up against the Red king of beasts alehouse across from St Agnes church the unanimous market square was packed with all classes and upon that leg a serving doll was being whipped, she was naked to the waistline, her night-robe or displacement ripped from her and dangling from the train around her waist and her masked leather clad tormentor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to forfend his coke by turning away he struck her shapely exposed knocker and the teat thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hands were manacled and uselessly chained together and the chain tied to a high beam high above her promontory which served to hold her so she could do zilch but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist irons from which a trail of blood seeped already.

The bunch were transfixed and so fixed in their tending that they paid us no regard but I supposed that a public slaughter was the meridian of their season, and all course were portray, merchants and peasants, workers and nobility indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating set up for the intention, the Creator graham, his son, by his incline and the Lady Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the Lady Catherine.

'' We 'll tether the horses and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the coach through a T turn and tethered the team outside the tartar Inn.

The maid was nothing but a limp and bloodied mess when I returned, and his adoration Mr Justin subsidisation the Judge of the Trentham assizes was mounting the steps to the leg, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled concourse, `` His Grace Earl Leslie Howard Stainer told me to enforce the law in its full violence, and here you see I shirked not my province, and I commend and command that three months hence you shall set up again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for hint, `` bill well that when I exercised indulgence by refraining from having the wench transported to the antipode, I was determined that penalization should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen punishment ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a murmur, `` Have you seen that I Judge Grant am a man of my word and all are compeer in my Margaret Court, that the lowest maid and highest lady can expect equality of treatment ? '' he demanded. There was a murmur vowel of favourable reception. `` That the Lady Catherine received no druthers when she abused her reliance and stole a trinket, as she called it, one that should cost a retainer five twelvemonth toil ? ``

It hit me like a sledge hammer, the serving skirt was the Lady Catherine, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six months has she toiled in the playing area and six more shall she dig, '' he shouted, `` I offered lenience should she profess as you all heard, but she will not take on her guilt, will not confess, will not apologise and without contrition there can be no lenity, no easy liveliness as a house servant so shall she continue as the scummy farm girl until the after one year and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labours for her father to disown, I suggest she may suffer found the antipode preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his voice rising to a crescendo, `` Thou shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine II ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The girl you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my pinna and eyes, `` That 's Catherine. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce consider it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, nasty bloodied and yet to my middle beautiful, though her hair was no longer neatly cut and her brass were now not painted but naturally ruddy and her shoulders firmed and muscled, and then as the ropes were cut and she fell and sprawled in the dirt so her shift fell away revealing an iron virtue belt.

A gravid jape arose and jarred Catherine of Aragon from her stunned immobility and she grabbed her torn smock around her, despairing to preserve the modesty that in Truth was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her tears had run dry until just the tear tracks remained in the crud of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a beauty ! ``

'' Do n't jest, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really squeamish. ``

I realised she had an branding iron collar around her cervix and she was taken down from the stage and chained barefoot behind a droppings handcart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' breakthrough Catherine, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a irksome and painful appendage, but by and by we made progress until at duration the rube riding the cart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine of Aragon aboard so the Ox could move at its expert step which in all honesty was no honest than when Catherine had been staggering behind.

Its name and address was his Lordships piggery, set away from the principal house and farm because of the scent it was a low Oliver Stone built building with a stone tile roof on timbers, and there in the mud and filth lived his lordship 's cop, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine of Aragon chained as she was to an iron in the wall which I noted his lordship agentive role fastened her concatenation with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your interest here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most curious as to why the Lady Catherine of Aragon is so treated. ``

'' She 's no Lady ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the rest, '' he said and he tore away the concluding of her clothes leaving her naked, `` She 'll get tidy sum of swill come morning and she can bask a life of ease, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` about certainly, good day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` Drop me at my forefather 's and claim the go-cart. ''

I directed him the way to my fathers modest abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking hayfield and pasturage my Padre pretended to the populace that he owned, yet sadly such was not the case, indeed there was a metre in my youthfulness when my father spoke to me earnestly, `` John, '' he said, `` You are the old son of a secondment son, you have a good name but no fate, so my son it is for you to produce your own fortune, shall you fall in the reserves, the Admiralty, the Church ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No Fatherhood, '' I had answered `` I shall be an adventurer and travel the world in search of hoarded wealth. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And marry a princess ? ``

'' No the peeress Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in truth at that time I had barely exchange two dozen words with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's daughter ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my lord what a sentiment ! '' he laughed but Uncle Patrick Henry lent the money for my education and I attended Salford University and studied geology and alchemy and the way to establish purity of the cute metals with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by point my education progressed until with a loan from don that he could ill open I bought musical passage to Mexico.

I had a last summertime at home, a brief spell of terpsichore and feast, and I saw the Lady Catherine often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a racy suitor to woo her, but for the patch my troupe sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor present and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to earn a fate in the New World and wed Catherine II sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not intend to return penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with investment firm or not at all that is my intention. ``

'' Then do not cark Catherine, you amuse her, but she has but a short season, you do empathise ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London time of year starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not hassle her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea sickness afflicted me and it was a enceinte relief when we hit a gale off the Longships Reef and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs, and once ashore nothing would stimulate me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

Thus it was with meek neutrality that don watched Barrington repulse the carriage up to our planetary house and then he watched in astonishment as I descended, only to view its disappearing when I had unloaded my own baggage as sign that it was as a mere rider in a hire conveyance of title rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was Mother that rushed to greet me, `` whoremaster where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your destiny ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a lot of a thousand pounding and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my purse from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver, '' I said.

'' In the America 's ? '' Father asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passageway to United Mexican States from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under chieftain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open sea I was rendered incapable with the sea illness, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for haunt nothing would rush me to speculation to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' male parent replied, `` Did I not enjoin you that as the oldest son of a second son, you have a ripe gens but no lot, and to create your own chance by joining the reserves, the Admiralty, the church service ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an explorer and move around the cosmos in search of treasure. ``

'' Then it 's a smashing shame you found none such. '' he added.

'' well Father I worked the Wheal Claire mine, chieftain Trelawney 's brother 's mine and found silver. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out lead furrow and gave directions, just above the water he said, and there it was a slight seam and I started on my own with a peck axe and a megabucks of candles, and I recognised the silver grey bearing ore and crushed my own rock by candle luminosity, and made my own acid using my education to the full-of-the-moon and dissolved the atomic number 47 from the crushed John Rock and rove my own silver ingots, but the vein was not extensive, too flimsy to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch time slot in the careen and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old cheek turned into a grinning, '' I explained, `` He named a price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver bed clean as deep as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our treasure to Truro piece by piece moulded and cast into ingot and had it 's purity confirmed and marked to rise it was indeed silver and as an excursus we made rings and gewgaw by selective casting and we travelled the jewelry maker selling bangle gang and opus of silver and with the proceeds I paid for the mine, and then we showed dowery of it to selected men of wealth saying there was sliver there and machinery was needed to mine the vein any foster and I sold shares until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't cite I sent my first doughnut to ma'am Catherine, I had its purity checked and hallmarked by Truro Assay office and I sent it anonymously but within the interior circle I engraved, `` To my love JM. '' so she should recognize she was in my mentation always.

'' A Fairy narrative, '' father averred, `` but come in and have an special lieu set at dinner Mother. ``

'' What happened to Lady Catherine of Aragon ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a hoop, '' Father said, `` A trinket from Lady Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a square silver ring, '' mother said, '' From Lady Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to think you thought to marry her ! '' don joked, `` There was something, dame fowler would have forgotten the whole thing of Catherine would have wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the ring, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a fuss, '' female parent said, `` All Society attended, the judge, justice Ulysses S. Grant, insisted that the law were carry on for her as for the lowest order and when it was all over he found her guilty and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her form of address and whipped four multiplication at equinoxes or the nearest Saturday thereto and should serve as lady Fowler 's servant for a year and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather run hogs in a field of honor ! '' don added, `` So the judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the prison term is to tend hogs, '' Mother squealed.

'' And his saving grace passed a banknote to the jurist. '' founder added.

'' And the Judge ordered her to wear an iron chastity bash ! '' Mother chuckled, `` Just imagine. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' mother suggested, `` I shall retire. ``

Church Father took up the tale, `` They dragged her to the cell, it was wretched, she came with her father and mother and sister and brother, she screamed for them pleaded her whiteness and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the whispers started that she would n't be flogged at all his goodwill paid for a stage to be built beside the Red Lion and promised fee ale and had the judge bring her to the square on the Saturday of the equinox all dressed up, but chained hands and animal foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift key, tearing her attire right away and then he tore even that away so her udders were relieve and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an branding iron neckband around her neck like any common outlaw and hung it from a balance beam. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot rivet, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the justice said 'One hundred whip !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a stealer but you see it was a valuable ring, antique silver, and the hangman took up the whip and was merciless, left and right in flip throw, first he bared her buttock so we could see the belt and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed lines into it, an inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her battlefront. ``

'' Her breasts ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her teat, criss cross hither and thither her ams were shackled command processing overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred whiplash and all she could say was'I 'm innocent .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' Father said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing water at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoes and stockings and they drew the Earl 's droppings spreading cart up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report from a pistol, of course being a amercement lady, ''

Mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobbles and she form of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted vegetables and all sorts of filth at her. ``

'' They put a sack around her to hide her nakedness, '' beginner added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and live with the slob, she measures out their swill, some say she plowshare it because they do n't fertilize her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and raging, '' Mother said, `` The yahoo used to like to torment her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The George Wells Beadle has her road fixing though, '' Father added, `` rock'n'roll break, which is mans work really but the judge agreed it was bazaar. ``

'' To cerebrate you wanted to moderate your hat up to a park crook, she 'll have to turn a retainer or conjoin a rube, '' female parent said.

'' Enter a brothel more like, '' Father said because he knew of such thing being a onetime Militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine of Aragon refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' Mother insisted, `` The fowler 's would take in no need of her dowry. ``

I knew something was legal injury, but what ?

'' Oh of course she 's been whipped since then, '' mother said, `` It did n't look right when they brought her into the lame behind the droppings cart on mid summers day and the flavor was something frightening, so concluding week they found her clothes from the dorm and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Father said, `` Like a bad free rein, a filthy yokel in a richly embroidered dress brought in the Earls spare carriage, but the lower rules of order loved it, especially when the hang man ripped the wearing apparel off her and showed the under-things of a fine lady that the lower orders may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the hoots when they bared her pap, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily white where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way home ? '' Father asked.

'' My friend Mr Barrington had patronage in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' well you are a very lucky boy, '' Mother opined, '' Why had you the money to match your infatuation you may give birth wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' Father explained, `` A thousand greaseball, eh, sweeten the pill eh ! all her demand and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her birthday and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not summon the courage to mouth to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' Mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a bum is light and less diseased. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next morn I donned my make for clothes and borrowed founder 's horse for a ride to the Earl 's piggery I rode by slowly, Catherine the Great looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a turn I tethered my knight and I walked back, `` Nice cockcrow, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is skillful about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at odds with her station.

'' Fresh picnic, pretty girl, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get mind, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her virtue belt, `` Or that because I have sharp tooth and a strong bite. ''

'' A kiss then, a gentle caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig pigwash sack for a smock but it was loose and her breasts were clearly displayed.

'' I can not escape you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a kernel pie, and for that I shall allow that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have keen teeth and pointed elbow joint. ``

'' Then a meat pie I shall bring, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you play along me ? ``

She rattled the chain attached from her cuff ankle to the pigsty rampart, `` I am afraid I am seedy. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I have it away you ? '' she asked.

'' You are noblewoman Catherine, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a retiring life, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my hard confinement had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An protagonist, and a meat pie you shall ingest, '' I promised, `` And a jam cocotte if you please me. ``

'' Do n't mock, and where have you the money for pies ? '' she asked, `` Pies not hope will win my affections. ``

I went away in search of pies, I bought a slicing at the Red Lion and a jam tart and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the meat pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so skillful, warm food. '' she said and when I gave her the woman of the street she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you desire more then tempt me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet weewee from my flaskful as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my teats ? '' she asked, `` As the chawbacon do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her transformation from her tit and bent my head.

Her mamilla stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh please do not frustrate me with mollify kisses take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` bite me hurt me but do not love me for I can not bear it. ``

'' You do not welcome my attentions ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me relieve you swiftly I shall not bite I promise, you may use my brim. '' she said and I kissed her full on the sass and she recoiled, `` No your fellow member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not bite. ``
I undid my breeches feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so discerning, so lovely, I imagined for second how her passage might be, all golden fur and anticipation beneath the iron straps and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her Chin and nose and lid, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` allow me. '' I took my hand kerchief and moistened it and wiped the seed from her fount, `` You should have allowed my osculation, '' I suggested, `` Promise me a long passionate candy kiss and you shall have a volaille leg and apple pie side by side time pass. ``

'' And leave me all wanting, I think not, I should rather crave. '' she said, `` But I shall blade myself to suckle you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her labours, except I had a doubtfulness, `` Why did you steal the ring ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his Mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your stake ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no great catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should like to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is XX whiplash, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your forefather ! '' I announced.

'' You are cruel with these biz, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's pigswill than stomach your caller and eat Proto-Indo European and woman of the street, chocolate even. ``

'' menu well then my beauty, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on horseback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my horse blanket before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's house, riding hogback this time, all dressed like a Gentleman and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your pardon sir but whom should I narrate his Grace for I can not recall your public figure. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old fool was too impressed by my attire to see who I was and invited me to hold off in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Black Ned the hijacker ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a go adventurer who sought wealth in the Americas and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some lot excavation in Cornwall, enough for a suit of clothes and a horse in any case. ``

'' And your intellect for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her interests me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrowfulness than anger.

'' Then you have no objection if I woo her, offer wedlock perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a suit and a gymnastic horse and no fate, indeed you should be a perfect equal, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish, I shall find the key to her chastity belted ammunition, if you have a British shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his scoop, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your center subject matter. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the mesa, `` There was the thing of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a neat fondness for Catherine and would wish well to consume her whiteness proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for rings, '' he explained, `` It brought her precipitation, an antique of the 13th century by its marks I believe, hugely worthful, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my doorway again should you consort with her, and now if you will excuse me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to bequeath, and to my surprise as he left the room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite foreign, indeed very strange to be given a free script with the Lady Catherine, indeed although the light was fading I went to see her now, but she was sleeping contentedly under my horse blanket so I let her lie.

I said not a Bible to Father or female parent but side by side day I bought roast wimp leg, and an apple pie and some special chocolate with soft centres containing fine wine-colored which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a horse blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her several times across the shoulders with a jolty subdivision he had broken from a shoetree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two cent for you to construct yourself scarce, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maidservant. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but tuppence was sufficient for him to squelch his thirstiness in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine II exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you pleased to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the sense of smell of poulet, '' she smiled, `` recount me are you John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a price. '' I handed the chicken to her and Catherine gnawed hungrily upon the chicken leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her sexual morality belted ammunition. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your father sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her middle welled with tears, she sobbed softly, `` I shall claim you when you are released, first you shall bath and then we shall notice a soft bed and then I shall claim you. ``

'' Do you not desire me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can wait, '' I admitted, `` But can you stand firm me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the band, `` It was antique, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its antiquity, it seems they can tell apart from the fool when the ring was made, for myself I thought it but a gaud. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the planetary house but sought instead the justice President Grant. He knew of my father and so he allowed me an consultation for ten minutes as he was very busy, yet he called his man to strike down his appointments when I explained the place and that I was enamoured of Catherine and I had grave doubts about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the provenance, the tab from the jeweller 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my remembrance a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jeweler to Divine and Lady Gower produced a disc that the ring was resized some age ago for Lady Henry Watson Fowler 's ascendant, '' the Judge remembered, `` And he read the assay marks with a spy meth and indeed gave a exact appointment of manufacture some C of years prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except check postage stamp do n't give the century merely the year it may be thirteenth or fifteenth or sixteenth C from the style, but not from the marks sir. ``

'' You have sowed a seeded player of doubtfulness Mr Matson, '' The Judge agreed, `` A seed no more, but I shall make enquiries, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his time and went home. Father was in an irritable modality, and after dinner party he tackled me, `` You say you have a fortune ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A small one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every chick in the County will quest after you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth of a fortune to spend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall repay what you lent me and More, a hundred dog pound, but keep it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis unspoilt to pick up John but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver metal bar from my way, `` A alluviation, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine of Aragon again, the swine herd had whipped her again when she bit his appendage while he sought to rent reward and her blanket was stolen so I found her a blanket and a hot meal, and I worried that the winter weather might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't John, '' she said as I sought to buss her, `` My backtalk is foul with the swineherd emission. ``

'' poor people poor people Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` lay claim me as your own. ``

'' title you ? '' I asked.

'' make away the Fe, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are proven innocent, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with tales of Cornwall, `` Did you get my mob ? '' I asked, `` I made several, but I despatched the first to you by courier, I engraved With my Love JM inside it, just a simple trinket. ``

'' No, I never received any bauble, Francis gave me a delicately gaffer ring and then denied the gift which is why I languish here, '' her centre welled with weeping, `` So please never speak of anchor ring again. ``

I told her something about my fortune which I admitted to being in excessiveness of two hundred British pound, after the repayment of fathers loan.

'' So I shall not enjoy finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly Patrick White, `` I am so regretful, I presume too very much. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig muck but delight say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her heart full of weeping and incongruous in her nastiness, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can eff me then that is my fondest indirect request. ''

I went home with the failing ignitor leaving her to accumulate sufficient Sus scrofa around her to keep her warm through the long cold night.

'' His honor Judge Grant wishes to see you John Lackland, '' Father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the greatest urgency. ``

I went to his chambers with the greatest pep pill and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The pack, I do consider vernal Fowler may have given it to Miss Maisey Fellows, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchant do you know. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make enquiries sir, when my decisions are questioned I make enquiries, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr blighter and he has agreed we may oppugn Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall institutionalize for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall conform to at Mr George Ratner 's emporium, a short walk away, '' he ordered, `` Ten sharp mind. ``

I went directly to the George III Inn where I put up and in the dayspring, and when I was woken with a wonderful breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a ado of activity I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the Judge greeted me, `` In the game room, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

young lady cuss was a prominent young woman, she strode into the shop on harbor Street accompanied by her maiden and her female parent, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` Mama has invited Mr Fowler this eventide. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your ring, '' he said, `` old geezer silver, very rare, ''

'' A present tense from Mr Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester cathedral. '' the jurist said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger, `` It may have been but Mr Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dower Miss Fellows the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand Ezra Pound or in that realm, '' the mother explained.

They handed the ring to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by spell they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the trademark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the same but this was fiddling different to those Barrington and I had cast at welt Grace and when they allowed me the use of the methamphetamine and I also examined the tintinnabulation, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very familiar, and plain stitch, I expected a glaring raiment of diamond but this was simply plain, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own ring,

'' Ah, First Marquess Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester ring. '' before I could gather my thoughts.

The evaluator gave Miss Fellows a receipt for the band and asked that he might interview Mr Fowler later, and so it was that with the fowler gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the jurist he said, `` I would say this 100. ''

'' That is the Truro tender, '' I averred, `` See the nick along the bottom line, I have stared at that enough times. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what mental ability ? ``

'' Miner, separator, and a very poor Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own hoop I said, `` See here, a doughnut I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro stamp. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their books and peered in them and then at the ring again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro Assay office postage, and that is no antique, indeed the two anchor ring could consume come from the like mold ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The bloke one was inscribed with my dear HM, the HM is still seeable the rest gone where the ring was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner in the servants one-fourth at the department store, the Judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the Jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by police lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the Fellows'habitation and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the house when the justice approached him, `` Mr fowler, I have to oppugn you about an antique silver ringing. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the Judge announced as he pulled the ringing from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall interview her, fare. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and meet me at my Chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad company and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The Judge was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a hefty bit of people were already there and I became cognizant that the court was rapidly fill, the elder Mr Henry Watson Fowler Padre of Francis Fowler was in the hind end behind me looking dark and at once furious and upset, and then when I was seated for a half minute the Judges clerk ordered `` All Rise, '' and the Judge appeared.

'' If it pleases the first guinea pig is Rex versus Henry Watson Fowler. Perjury. '' the shop assistant announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your adoration, '' an insignificant little lawyer announced.

'' No it does n't please me bring Franics John the Divine Hunstanton Henry Watson Fowler. '' he ordered and when fowler appeared from the cubicle escorted by militia the evaluator wasted no time, `` Where did you obtain this halo ? '' he asked, `` Or must I summon Miss cuss to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a fellowship heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us hollo Mrs Henry Watson Fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the lawyer complained.

'' muteness ! '' the Judge ordered, `` Mrs fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting way, `` So where did you obtain this antique ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my mother and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the clerk show her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave dear Francis for his dearest. '' she replied.

'' The one the Lady Catherine stole ? '' the jurist asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four Assay mark. '' the Judge asked.

'' My Divine, '' the attorney insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient Assay part and one can not tell in which 100 a piece was marked, merely the year from nought to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The jurist replied, `` And when did the Truro office cease to stamp with the Charles Cornwallis stamp and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no musical theme, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you illuminate us, '' the evaluator asked.

'' Some ten years ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an demode pack and lied also that gentlewoman Catherine the Great stole the annulus '' the justice suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the justice ordered, `` I order that Francis John Hunstanton Henry Watson Fowler and Lady Hermione Desdemona ruth fowler be detained securely until this Friday calendar week when they shall be tried for perjury, and that young lady Catherine formerly Lady Catherine Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on charges of theft also on Friday, I shall receive diligence for bail for both matters in my bedchamber after this hearing.

I slumped in my keister, the business of the visitation of Manningham, overlord Grey 's Gamekeeper for theft of pheasants and Mr Johns for the thieving of a Horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at length the Judge retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine, `` How much do you offer ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty guineas here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall send Word, but she will need clothing so spend your ten Guinea wisely. ``

I had little fourth dimension so I a few retainer gaberdine were all I could obtain, and I was at Trentham pokey when the Militia brought Catherine of Aragon back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to stand up bond '' I announced and when I paid the bail the guard released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a fair smock, `` And where shall you take me ? ``

'' place ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have fund. '' I announced.

'' Then take away me to soap and water system. '' she demanded.

I had funds indeed but she was unwelcome in any shop class so I purchased such for her and a hair coxcomb and soft leather slider then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridge where the road crossed the Trentham river on numerous small low arches and after tethering the horse she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her duster she slipped into the breast deep watch crystal realise water.

She stooped with water up to her shoulders soaping herself and washing herself and the resplendent pinkness of her slowly emerged from her pelage of filth and she stood proud and strong bodied with not an snow leopard of spare fat, her udders sweeping from her breast like as let out ne plus ultra, just the crisscross of the whiplash trails to blight her as the filth slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the sight of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to jump back out delightedly swishing her foresightful yellow straw like tomentum like a naughty retriever dog, and yet with plenteous use of the soap slowly did her haircloth regain it 's gilded hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge parapet curved down towards the bank and I lifted her from the water system and used the key to unlock her celibacy belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an hour and more of splash and frolicking before she felt clean and donned a new gabardine and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you home, '' I said, `` Your Fatherhood will be concerned. ``

'' liar, he sold me for a Ugandan shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodging house but when questions were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as schoolmaster and servant, and as was the practice session I paid for two rooms and used but one.

She ate heartily with the handmaiden that evening and when I retired following a convivial but drab even with some travelling salesmen and merchant I found her fix in my bed, fast at peace, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her breathing and then succumbed to catch some Z's but she woke with the dawn, and woke me with a kiss, which I reciprocated, her passion aroused me and I explored her entirely with my fingers and with picky upkeep I explored where the sexual morality belt had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your hold. ``

I took hold of her and pried her legs all-encompassing and after exploring her softness with my finger eased the indulgent congregation asunder and eased the purple head of my manhood into her soft wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degrees and through her agony which she staunchly repressed so quarter inch by fourth inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warm and wet and nasty, and to her consternation I emitted within her promptly with all the authorization of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with passion until my potency returned and I entreated her to allow me to enjoyed her delights once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a Ugandan shilling, and many more shillings for soap, I do believe you owe me the courtesy of allowing my attentions a few Thomas More times. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The interpolation, it distresses me greatly though I try to subdue my aversion out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on goodness authority that the pain in the neck subsides with practice, '' I informed her, `` And with my outgo I should bear a unspoiled few intromission before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistance was fruitless and pressed base my manhood against her, and when pressed her mildness parted like the petal of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her indulgent folds enveloped and swallowed him until the balls beneath were tickled by her small hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a in high spirits plane of Eden entirely as she began to moan but with pleasance and not trouble, `` I do think you may be right, '' she whispered, `` Now concede your love life and I shall be content indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love than passionateness and in a while her passion overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted copious quantity seed within her to extinguish her inner fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you enjoy being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't joke. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would need you, and in any case you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our steal with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our union but the promise of two hundred Sudanese pound changed his idea, but the Earl was more sticky, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our interview and struck a bargain with the housekeeper and I took away all the Lady Catherine the Great 's clothes for the sum of fifteen shillings !

The Reverent Bailey agreed to get married us and then came the Friday tribulation at Trentham Assizes in the courtyard house.

Catherine II chose to wear her red velvet frock with white detail and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should have been, to the impact and alarm of the rube clustered around the court who expected her to be almost naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public fundament and not taken to the prison cell until called to the dock.

The minutes were over in the blinking of an eye.

'' The case of Catherine the Great, formerly madam Catherine the Great Howarth. '' the salesclerk announced.

'' Is there a pillow slip for the prosecution. '' the Judge demanded of a small lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the electric cell, '' the Judge remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall speak up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the Lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simple mistake, and I 'm sure Mre Fellows and Mr Francis buster would magnanimously forgive the missy and relinquish her from her sentence. ``

'' Indeed, '' the judge ordered, `` Then promise Mr John Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the witness box as Mrs fowler stepped down.

'' Your tintinnabulation, Mr Matson, please tell the court where you obtained it. '' The Judge asked, once I had sworn the truth to recount, `` The one on your digit. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro assay-mark. ``

'' Show me, '' The Judge insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very much like the fowler one, did you constitute that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for Lady Catherine, it was engraved `` With my lovemaking HM, but the words have been worn off to leave but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The judge asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the Judge insisted, `` It is clear the tintinnabulation is Matson 's and was given so could not have been stolen, '' and he addressed the court Catherine the Great, noblewoman Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the affair and should perjury be proven then at a later date perhaps you may leave the Court with no stain upon your character, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my go-cart, Barrington had offered his inspection and repair once again as device driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the Graeco-Roman style of a landed gentleman with my beloved in a new clothes and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably smart carriage pulled by a pit pair of Zane Grey,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace. ``
he paused, `` madam Catherine ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apology, '' she snapped.

'' take care just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her beginner came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never utter again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a shilling, a fair price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not receive you or her, ''

She set her face like Edward Durell Stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made probationary interrogation and when Catherine II approved I bought the manor household called Boulby manor for a veritable Sung as it was in an unfashionable style, and the trustees of the tardily Mable Sempter needed a immediate sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the following Fri trial, the Fowler 's offered no refutation but merely relied upon the indulgence of the Judge so on the Saturday we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the evaluator came and announced the sentences.

'' The sentence must typify the prison term which their perjurious assertion brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two one C lashes and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall survive one hundred lashes at solstice and equinox and shall serve lady Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial content she shall choose.

Catherine looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The meter and date were set, snow flurries set the market lieu white like phantasy world and made the phase slippery and the hangman stood as party whip man again.

They led the female parent in first, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the steps to the microscope stage, she was dressed in her cloak and her heavy winter gown with her hands manacled but as soon as she was under the shaft they hauled her paw above her head, and tore her cape off her.

'' That was the regretful bit St. John, '' Catherine said, `` When they tore my gown off, I had no musical theme, no idea at all. '' she said, `` All the bumpkin staring at what is individual, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his party whip and when Lady fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he tore away her wearing apparel but he struggled and then it was away and mere under matter covered her and then with rendings and tearing her tore her to nakedness. not even a sexual morality belt protected her modestness, as the axial motion of fat and curvaceousness were laid bare.

She stood in blind panic and all was not well with the whipping as her soft human body split almost the first off blow.

There was consternation, and the Judge Grant ordered proceeding halted, and he came up to Catherine II, `` My Lady, '' he said, `` Can you find it in your heart to commute the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My hubby and I shall adminiser the blows at a suitable rate nightly whilst the Lady fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with advantage serve my copper as I should hate for him to return from the Antipodes with a fortune. ``

'' A Wise and compassionate thinking, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the degree, `` In a purport of compassionateness Lady Catherine has agreed that the lashes shall be applied at her plate and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Fowler should be spared transportation and instead lashed in the blank space of his aforesaid female parent and consigned to serve the sloven. ``

The female parent was thus cut down and the Fowler son in turn brought up, the bumpkin lost interest but the maids became interest in their turn as his cap and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the shaft by a rope round his manacled hired hand, and then his breeches were hauled down and the first blow was administered across his go forth shoulder and then a second across his right berm, and he bore it stoically while ten or to a greater extent blows were landed and then in the manner of such people he began to break down, but it was not until after the outset twenty blast were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maid had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to flog the man 's buttocks that the titter of laughter for as the coke landed so his humanness found the gap in his under breeches and reared through the gap though by many standards it was both short and fat it caused immense playfulness, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the blows continued it reared obscenely and his visage reddened with embarrassment.

'' expression, ! '' was the shout, taken up around the square, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a wicked common sense of devilment the whips-man flashed the whip between Fowlers ramification and deep into his loins and all at once his manhood became animated and spewed Forth such a disgusting gray subject matter, like three day old Milk River, that stout women fainted.

'' To recollect I might receive married that ? '' Catherine gasped, `` I own six months in a pig sty was in all fashion preferable. ``

But fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the blows unadministered he was carried away witless to the Gaol to go back before a foster session a calendar week hence.

Catherine the Great and I stepped down among the first and we travelled home by perambulator driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to find permanent employ with us and we joked about fowler but Catherine the Great was despondent although she remained stoical throughout but I sensed she was still dysphoric and I asked about it.

'' I want Father and Mother at my wedding, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never hand over