Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm maitre d' St. Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from blinking Yorkshire and I do n't break a bugger what you bloody remember because I bloody address as I bloody find.

We had a crashing bad trip-up back from America on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me face were dependable and went to see damn Agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a tart boudoir with furnishings to gibe. factor were a Slimy asshole with slicked down hair and poncy courtship. He sat behind this over dressed bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of it of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day Captain, I am delighted to meet you at hold up,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me establishment,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me crashing mind,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, objet d'art of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you think of Brass,"his supporter chipped in. She was like a short haired gorilla in a ignominious wearing apparel with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody unlearned Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"Brass is an metal of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please young lady Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round depository financial institution and paid it in spry. Daft mother fucker on replication near fainted at size of it of cheque but I drew out a fair few quid pro quo and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody days voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass in cant and could amount home instead of scratting bout down South U.S. way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour master what were a first mate of mine, we had a chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave grocery store, I fancies a nice plump saucy brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slave in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad nobs got fed up wi novelty an let near of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody blaze do I observe a nice plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody favourable to happen one in Salford at all, thee'll have to hook up with a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, jeopardy tart house or get hitched with a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at fagot Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner party Menu outside. and it were just after noonday so I thought I would let a bite to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make head or bum o menu so I thought I woud ask server. Turns out they has dinner party at tea time and noon time was tiffin. Anyroad I had a feed.

director come up to me and asked me concern,"Looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a duet of whore sign of the zodiac.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a honest bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not proceed forking out for tarts money box I gets bloody gonorrhoea and me cock rots off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a bloke circle Inkerman Street does a smashing range of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Jehovah wi his vertebral column to us over there's got to a greater extent daughter than you can escape from a stick at, why not make him an crack ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of fish and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a crashing church mouse.

"That's William Christopher Handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of daughter to offload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to present me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no mansion painter I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bally mind."

His poncy nob married person was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's virgin, two branch, two arms, couple of bloody tit, her own teeth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his match, a simpering behind dressed like a decently pandar says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dower he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and suffer my daughter ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to look too stabbing but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a statute mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His place needed a poke of paint and the Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, valet de chambre, to the retainer quarters,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"master Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and speak me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody topographic point or thee'll feel me fucking belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an ugly bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to intrude thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"noblewoman McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me round the chops, we her mincing deal and one-half column inch long finger nails."Feisty man ent she ?"

"senior pilot Beckinthwaite wishes to court one of our daughters beloved,"the lad says, I sort of guessed he was master McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my suddenly consistence,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"come now we are all friend here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his face went a mortal white,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe risky venture in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"tempest, storm, bloody flow weewee heart bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a damn shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, damn Shipping lark."I said,"administration is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, senior high school bloody time to bloody descend down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"gentlewoman Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bally like,"I said,"Don't nous bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no nasty bloody butler poking on her like thee and he does soon as all-fired lordships'backrest 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit blooming nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into parlour."Girls,"she says,"Come and fulfil headwaiter er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first girl were knockout, blonde hair on her shoulder joint, blue middle, square rigged dress showcasing her teat, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the female child asked.

"Bloody deep and in need of a bloody shtup,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my intellect too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another sight of lovliness followed into the elbow room,"Victoria,"lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a all-fired holdover. Wi her shortstop fuzz and scowling cheek if it had n't been for her tits you 'd have thought she were a blinking fella

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody stakes were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"noblewoman Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a crashing feller or a bloody girl eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord skipper,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an millstone snuggle in your whiskers ?"

"Bet bloody suer are a bit thinly on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such topic,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody quick, commodity luck her were a bloody virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't subject what her bloody face looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me fucking end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a bloody Virgo the Virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say comely than that."

"Captain !"nobleman Mc protested.

"five hundred,"I offered,"guinea fowl, to take her off thi bloody work force and put a ring on her bloody fingerbreadth, charter it or leave it."

"We really involve the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this behemoth for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife lass, not just a bloody whore to shag, individual to seem after me bloody house, cook, clean flavour after blooming small fry, that sorting o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of erotic love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody fondness, I just wants a bloody shag, you wo n't do safe than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the response captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the John Cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were bloody messing."

God Almighty Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pocket full moon of gold.

"Take a glass of wine sea captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about decent to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missis go and sort Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"Stop it, stop it mother I woukd rather die than marry that horrific man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair fucking monetary value, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the miss went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail boots clattering on fresh refined oak base, till I got to her bed room.

The female parent were there with two sleeping room maiden and the housekeeper. poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across grimace with a dead haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her stays and knee duration stockings, no knee pants or nil but showing her genitalia and nice creamy thigh.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her peg all-inclusive,"Take a look captain,"madam Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you flaming bullies, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"madam Mc replied but the glint of light off me obelisk blade soon changed her bloody melodic phrase,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd kill your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lass, I never had to squeeze a fucking skirt to bang me in me bloody life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her helping hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thighs and then I started to constituent her cunt lips with me fingers. It weren't the initiatory time. Her cunt was well used.

"look like you been flaming shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course of action not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a crashing bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody sister doing a time or two ?"

"How did you make love ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big sea robber belt and let me trews free fall,"Lets call it our little bloody secret shall us ?

"Look Captain,"she protested but me fingers were no blooming strangers to a skirt's slit and wi me finger on her little nub her tits were getting courteous and pointy.

She started breathing arduous

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't gestate me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her cervix, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her cumulus. She form of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me tongue in the channel between her lip down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her pussy was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me ego at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody subscribe me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody mizen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were ilk disc, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an Anchor up a hawsepipe pipe.It were blooming heaven. Right in till me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody Inferno size bloody taper youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh skipper,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody fucked ent so blinking bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple cd, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek plaque for the bally nookie. Once I shot me damn encumbrance in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me flaming loading over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"fifty dollar bill guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly chieftain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not trammel yourself and I believe you have a variety heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dose of hot nerve up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me globe was bloody crinkling and me pecker was bloody pounding and suddenly it were too recent for flaming pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of N and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant headwaiter,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody cock laborious I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suck my teats if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her nipple right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to sense your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and invest off and held her close. Our mouths met, our tongues entwined. It do n't count much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me turncock reared and before I knew it we was bloody fuck again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old cuss, praise,"Divine Mc chorted,"Let us have the engagement announced in Lancashire eve post.

"Bugger that I'm a bloody sea senior pilot, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody seaport and I can do bloody marriage, no bloody need to waste bloody brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church service so we're getting wed official like, and do you get it on after we fucked a metre or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of blooming day its what they fucks like what matters and she's flaming hero and no bloody err even if she is from bloody Lancashire .